Loverboy

Chapter 7 #2

I closed the motel door and lit a cigarette.

The night was pretty chilly, and I instantly regretted not putting a shirt on.

“Yeah, not happening.” I turned to open the door, but it was locked.

“Oh, fuck me.” I realized I didn’t have my key either.

“Goddamn it. Twila?” I knocked on the door, but she didn’t answer.

“Twila? Baby?” She must have music on in the bathroom.

Great. I stuffed my hand in the pocket of my pajamas and made my way down the long walkway to the front office of the motel.

The motel office seemed dark and empty. I leaned against the dirty glass and tried to peek through, but it was pitch black inside. “Fuck me,” I groaned.

“Well, that’s an offer I’ll never refuse.

” I turned around to see Motley. He was standing just a few feet away, dressed in his usual tight jeans and sleeveless muscle shirt.

I don’t know how he wasn’t cold out here, but I guess it made sense.

I mean, he always did run hot. He was holding a case of beer and staring back at me with an entertained expression and raised brow.

I turned to face him. “What?” I crossed my arms as I blew a few strands of hair from my eyes. “I got locked out of my room.”

Motley laughed softly and pointed to my pants. “Obviously. Don’t think I’ve ever seen you trampling around in public wearing that .” I glanced down and realized what I was wearing. “Nice pjs, Kash,” he teased. “Tell me, were they all out of the ones with little pink hearts?” He laughed.

I smoked my cigarette. “There’s nothing wrong with smiley faces, prick.” I looked down at my black pants plastered with hundreds of yellow smiley faces. “Just fuck off.” I turned to walk back to my room.

Motley chased after me. “Oh, don’t be such a drama queen. I think they’re rad!” I rolled my eyes. “Why are you locked out of your room, anyways? Did Twila finally kick you out?” He playfully nudged me.

I shot him a look. “No. I-I went out to smoke and realized I didn't have my key.”

“Can’t Twila just unlock it?”

I shook my head. “She’s taking a shower. Probably listening to some music—” I stopped as did Motley. “Are you having a party or something? What’re you even doing up this late? And what’s with all the beer?”

Motley glanced down and then back to me. “Well, if you must know, I couldn't sleep. So, I went out to get some beer and planned to drink my night away. Not all of us have someone to keep them warm in bed, Kash.” He turned and kept walking.

I felt bad. I had two people in my life: one who loved me, and one I loved.

And I couldn’t keep either of them happy.

Motley must’ve felt so lonely in his room, knowing I was lying next to Twila.

I never really stopped to think about it.

God, I was fucking everything up for both of them.

“What if I joined you for a bit?” Motley stopped and looked back at me.

“I mean, Twila is going to be in the shower for a good hour, knowing her. And I can’t get back in until she’s out anyways.

Why don’t we just hang out in the meantime?

” I think my question might’ve taken him aback a bit.

It had been a while since we just hung out.

Motley smiled. “Okay. But I wasn’t going back to my room.”

I made a face. “Where were you going?” Motley motioned for me to follow. And I did.

Together, the two of us walked past the motel and to a secluded bench that faced the city.

Motley sat down and patted the seat next to him.

I sat down and watched while he opened a beer for me and then himself.

We sat there for a few minutes as we drank our beers and stared out at the city ahead.

I smoked my cigarette in between sips before finally breaking the silence.

“I slept with Twila.” The bold statement shocked Motley as much as it did me.

I didn’t plan to tell him, but for some reason, I just felt like I had to. And so I did.

Motley looked down at his beer and leaned forward with a sigh. “You didn’t have to tell me, Kash.”

I inhaled the warm smoke of my cigarette. “Yes, I did. I don’t want anything secret between us. Not anymore.”

He nodded and took a drink. “You’re dating… You’ve slept together before. I would be stupid to think it wouldn’t happen again. I mean, there’s a history there. And you said it yourself, you love her.” He swirled his beer. “Did you at least enjoy yourself?”

I shook my head with a weakened laugh. “It wasn’t like that.

” He turned to look at me. “Twila just…I think she just really needed it. I haven’t exactly been the best boyfriend recently.

Ever since our night together out in those woods, I just—” I stopped and twirled my half-empty can of beer.

“I can’t bring myself to be that intimate with her.

It’s nothing against her, I just…it doesn’t feel right leading her on in such a way. It feels wrong, like I’m lying to her.”

“But you fucked her tonight?” Motley asked curiously.

I scoffed. “Yeah. Well, trust me, I didn’t exactly have the best time.” I took a sip. “I know it sounds weird, but I couldn’t really…get it up, you know? And when I finally did, it was over. Just like that. She enjoyed herself, and I just stood there like an idiot wondering what the fuck happened.”

Motley took my cigarette and inhaled before blowing the smoke up into the cold night air. “So she couldn’t get you to come.”

I nodded. “Yeah, well, trust me, that was a first.” We sat in an awkward silence. I continued to smoke my cigarette and watched as Motley stood. He stopped in front of me and kneeled down between my legs. “What’re you doing?” I asked. He didn’t respond, but only smiled as I took a sip.

Before I could swallow the beer, he leaned forward and grabbed my face.

The beer dripped from my mouth to his, and my lingering horniness returned in full force.

I watched him swallow my beer and then lower his face to my lap.

He carefully pulled my dick out and began to touch me in all the right ways.

“Motley,” I moaned. “Wait. Someone might see us.”

He leaned up and hovered just in front of my mouth as his eyes stared deep into mine. “Then I suggest you try not to be so loud.” He grinned and kissed me.

Motley lowered himself back down and began to suck my dick. With the cigarette firmly in my mouth, I stretched my arms to either side of me and gripped the bench as he did so.

Fuck.

His warm mouth completely surrounded me, and I used every ounce of my strength to keep my mouth shut.

And that was hard. Motley’s muffled moans made my dick vibrate and every nerve in my body ignited and came to life.

My limbs tightened and my heart raced as he took control to please me.

He had always been so caring, and he always felt so fucking good. Almost too good. Fuck, he was divine.

“Fuck, Motley,” I moaned with the cigarette hanging on my lower lip. I tried to hold my orgasm back, but it was too strong. “Oh fuck!” And just like that, I came inside his mouth.

Motley swallowed every drop of me, sucking and licking all of it from my flesh as he left my dick damn near clean. He slowly pulled back and dropped me from his mouth as my body twitched from being overly sensitive. I sat there in an orgasmic haze while I watched him wipe his mouth and smile.

I pulled the cigarette from my mouth and fixed my pants. “Proud of yourself, aren’t you?” I teased while trying to catch my breath.

Motley stood to move in closer and grabbed the back of my neck, forcing me to look up at him.

“Damn straight. Besides, I can’t have my man running around on edge like that.

That’s just cruel.” He kissed me, and his tongue licked the top of my mouth, my salty orgasm still lingering.

It made me gasp with pleasure as I kissed him back.

“I’ll always make sure you’re taken care of, songbird.

” Motley pulled back and returned to the bench next to me.

It was almost unfair how easily he could always get me.

I tried to calm my heart, still stunned by how bold and caring he had been out here in the open. “I’ll take it you’re not mad at me for fucking Twila then?” I asked.

Motley shook his head and opened a second beer.

“Nah. I know you don’t mean anything by it.

” He took a sip. “It’s who you are, Kash.

You always think about everyone else and take care of them.

” Wrong. I was selfish. He turned to look at me.

“She may sleep in your bed, but I know she can’t make you feel the way I do.

” He winked before taking a sip. “You know, I used to be so jealous of you two. But after everything you told me that night in the woods, well, I get it now. Just don’t go losing yourself over that pretty blonde. ”

I took a sip. “Pretty?” I scoffed. “Motley, do you find Twila attractive?” I raised a brow and waited for him to respond.

Motley laughed. “Kash, come on. Do you think I’ve always been into men?

I mean, sure, I’ve fucked a few women in my life.

Hello, have you seen me? Who wouldn’t love to be fucked by this ?

” He pointed down at himself and made a cocky smile.

“But yes, occasionally I find them attractive. They’re just not my preference. That’s all.”

“You didn’t answer my question,” I taunted him.

Motley rolled his eyes. “Yes, I find your girlfriend attractive. Feel better?”

I couldn’t help but to smile, oddly proud of the idea that the guy I was fucking was attracted to the woman I was also fucking. “I knew it.” I snapped my fingers. “I knew it!”

“Calm down, Kash.” Motley shook his head as he took another drink. “You act like I’ve been secretly attracted to her this whole time.”

“Nah. But I did think you hated her.”

Motley gave me a shocked look. “Hate her? No. Fuck, Twila is fine. She treats you well and really fits in with our little family. If anything, it’s kind of hot watching you two perform together on stage.

Well—sometimes. I just—” He sighed and lowered his head as he played with his curly hair.

“I never hated her. I’m just…well…I’m jealous of her. ”

My brows furrowed as I smoked the rest of my cigarette. “Jealous? Of Twila? Why?”

Motley shrugged and leaned back. “Well, for one, she gets to stay with you every night. Aside from our night in the woods, we’ve never been able to do that.

And I mean, come on. You get to openly love her.

Real or not, you get to parade her around all over the stage and kiss her in front of thousands of people.

You confess your love for her out in the open, while I just sit back and watch.

It’s agonizing! Don’t you think I want to do that too?

” He looked at me. “Fuck, we’re always hiding.

And I know why—I get it, I do. But it’s hard, Kash.

How long are you going to keep us a secret? ”

I sighed. I know he wasn’t trying to hurt my feelings, but I felt terrible. I never really stopped to think about how everything I did affected Motley in that way. And I should have. I mean, the last thing I ever wanted to do was hurt him. “Soon,” I whispered. “Just…give me some time.”

Motley scoffed. He squeezed the beer can in his hand, crumbling it and tossing it into the grass ahead.

“It’s been years, Kash. Years of sneaking around, hiding, hooking up in the shadows.

I’m trying to be patient and understanding, but time is just flying past us.

How much longer do you even think you can keep this a secret?

Fuck, Guy already found out the truth. Xavier must know by now too.

What happens when someone else finds out? Are you going to kill them too?”

My jaw clenched with frustration. “I’m not the one that killed Guy,” I stated. Motley’s face tightened. He stood, leaving the beers behind. “Hey. Where are you going?” I knew I hit a nerve.

He stopped with his back facing me. “I’m going back to my room. I suggest you get back to your girlfriend before she begins to wonder where you went. Wouldn’t want her to find you out here with me.”

“Motley.” I stood and walked to him. “Don’t be mad at me. You think I like this anymore than you do?”

He turned to face me. “You’re the one who gets to love and be loved, all while Twila sits in the dark, and I watch from behind.

You get to be with whoever you want while we wait on your beck and call.

You’re the one in control here, making all our decisions to best serve yourself.

So you tell me. ‘Cause from where I’m standing, you’re the only one who gets to walk that line between us both.

And truthfully, you don’t seem to be suffering that badly.

” Well, that hurt. Motley dropped his head as if he realized how his words stung.

“Fuck, I’m not mad. I’m just…I’m tired, Kash. ”

My hands carefully wrapped around his body, and I rotated him to face me. Motley sighed as I pulled him close. “Hey.” I lifted his chin. “Just give me a little more time, okay? I promise I won’t keep you hidden forever.”

Motley looked into my eyes. He then touched my face and pressed his forehead against mine.

I placed my hand over his and closed my eyes as we stood there together, the way it should be.

“If I need to wait, I will. I’ll always wait for you, Kash.

” I exhaled with relief. “I just wish you’d stop hiding who you are for the sake of everyone else. You don’t need to carry that weight.”

“Yes, I do,” I whispered. I could hear the pain in my own words.

Motley kissed the top of my head. “I wish you could see yourself as I see you.” He then looked down at me and smiled. “You’re too good for this world, songbird.”

No. If anyone was too good for this world, it was Motley.