Lovestruck

18. Theo

CHAPTER 18

Theo

“Let’s FUCKING GO!” I shouted to the locker room full of guys. My guys. Today was it. The final game to decide whether we made it to the championships or not.

The cheers were deafening. We all held up our helmets in solidarity. Spencer had just finished his motivational speech for the day, and now it was my turn. “But in all seriousness, let’s finish this, boys. We have gotten this far with hard work and dedication. We need to rely on each other and know we are ready. We’ve practiced our asses off. We’ve worked through injuries and other issues. We are here. Let’s leave it all out on the field today.”

After our huddle and our Blaze cheer we headed for the tunnel that would take us to the field. I had never been more excited in my life for a game. I knew we could do this.

“Nolan, hold up,” Briggs called as we walked out. I waited for him and he fell into place next to me as the guys filed out. “Guess who is here?”

“Did she really come?” I figured if he was asking me to guess, it was Bailey.

He nodded, the youth in his face showing as he beamed. “She’s up there with Allie.” He pointed above us, where we knew the suites were. I wasn’t sure exactly where she was, but knowing she was in the building was enough for me.

“Did you guys finally talk?” This kid was trying; I’d give him that.

“We are going to talk tonight, get things out in the open. I think she’s just scared.”

I nodded. “I would guess that is true. Just be honest, but really listen. You can’t get it from her perspective if you don’t. We are football popular, but we have no idea what it’s like to be them. While it’s amazing to be so well known and successful, it comes with its own share of insecurities and trust problems.”

We stepped into the main walkway, where fans lined both sides, and the conversation was over due to the sheer volume of their voices. Cheers, screaming, and people yelling our names took over any chance of talking. We waved to both sides of awaiting fans, always happy to increase their love of our team. If it wasn’t for their support, we wouldn’t be the team we are.

I moved over closer to the right edge, where I could high-five kids and read signs. This was my favorite part, which was why I understood Mallie’s need to see her young fans. I high-fived some kids in the front and some on the shoulders of their parents, and even stopped for a few selfies. We couldn’t dally, but I always made time to do a few.

“THEO!” a loud voice rang out over the crowd. I didn’t think much of it, as it was typical. When the same voice shouted it again and added “Nolan” to it, I looked over, as did Briggs.

“That dude is really trying to get your attention,” Briggs shouted over the noise, pointing to a guy right behind the rope.

I looked at him, and he immediately made me stop in my tracks. Briggs almost ran into me. The guy wore the other team’s jersey, which made me wonder why he cared so much about shouting out my name, but there was something about him that was so—familiar. Did I know this guy?

Once he saw that he had my attention, he gestured for me to come closer. I wasn’t afraid of him, as he looked about a buck fifty at the most and came up to my shoulder, but I stopped a few feet from him just in case. The guys slapped my back as they passed me, but I didn’t have long. We had to get out and warm up.

“She used to write songs about me, too,” the guy said.

I furrowed my brow, wondering what the hell he was talking about. Was this some sort of deranged fan of Allie’s? I looked at him closer, hoping he didn’t have something he could hurt me with.

“What?” Briggs looked back and forth between us. I was just as confused.

“You’re not special. Right now, she’s telling you she loves you and writing songs about you. But she will always pick her career over you. She needs the attention. She has to have it. She will never be the wife or mother to your children that you want, so don’t waste your time.”

It was then that I realized who this was. I recalled the pictures of them I saw online when I first started looking up information about Allie and who the putz was that broke her heart. I looked over at Briggs and then back to Josiah. My heart pounded in my ears. Oh, he was not here at this game, trying to start shit about her.

Before I could say a word in response, his face contorted and he spewed more filth. “I mean, I get it. She’s hot as fuck, and being with her is good for your career, right? You’re even more popular now than you were before. It’s the Allie Effect. And she’s a good fuck, right? Does she still do that thing with her?—”

I reached over and gripped his shirt before he could finish. “You better shut the fuck up right now,” I said between gritted teeth. “I don’t know what your reason is for being here, or if you just want your five seconds of fame, but if anything else about her crosses your lips, I will end you right here and now. You gave up the right to speak about her ever again when you broke up with her over the phone like the pansy you are.”

Josiah must have a death wish because he wasn’t fazed by my threat or my hand gripping his shirt. I could literally throw him with the grip on his shirt alone. I shit bigger than this prick. The people around us were all quiet, watching this. I knew it was being recorded, but there was no way this weasel was getting away with this.

“She will ruin you. Once you realize she’s not all you want her to be, she will tell everyone it’s your fault. She will write songs about you, and her fans will attack you. Believe me, the pussy isn’t worth it. End it now while you still have some dignity—and your career—left.”

That was it. I saw red and I had cocked my hand back to hit him when Briggs grabbed me. I fought him as he dragged me away. Once a few of the other players realized what he was trying to do, they assisted in pushing me down the corridor toward the field.

“Briggs, let me fucking go,” I said, my chest heaving with anger. I needed to put him in the ground. How dare he talk about her like that—and in front of others. He didn’t want her anymore. He threw her away, so what purpose did he have to stir up shit with me?

“Do not, under any circumstances, let go of him,” Briggs said to the other two guys holding me. My feet moved away from the scene by sheer force, but if they gave me one second of reprieve, I would run back and finish him. “Nolan, I’m saving you from yourself right now. Think about what you would tell me if this was me. I know that was shitty. But you will get suspended from the game if you don’t stop. Take a deep breath.”

We reached the field, and Briggs walked me right to Spencer. “Spence!” Briggs got his attention. When Spencer saw my face, he dropped the ball and ran to me.

“What the fuck happened?”

“Allie’s ex was in the tunnel. He said some awful things, and Nolan almost lost it. Thank God I was there, or we’d have a murder scene on our hands. You need to talk to him and get his head straight.”

Spencer put his arm around my shoulders and walked us away from the rest of the guys. “Talk, Theo. Get it out.”

I breathed in and out, but my hands shook and my heart raced. Spencer walked us up to Coach Reynolds, and all it took was him looking at my face for him to walk away with us.

“What happened?” Coach was like another dad to me, and I respected the hell out of him.

“Allie’s ex was waiting for me in the tunnel. He called out my name. He said some horrible things about her, and people videoed. It’s going to be all over.” I closed my eyes, the urge to sprint back to the tunnel so huge I had to breathe in and out several times. “I wanted to kill him, Coach. I may have done it if it wasn’t for Briggs. He-he disrespected her—” My voice broke, and I threw my helmet down. “FUCK!” I yelled.

“Hey,” Coach said, his hand on my back. “I get it. There is nothing that makes us more angry as men than for someone to do something to someone we love, and when it’s on the scale of Allie, it makes it even worse. There is nothing you can do about the fact that he decided to make a scene today, but you can decide right now that you won’t let it affect your game, too. It’s what he wanted, obviously. He wanted to get into your head. About her, of course, but also before the game to make sure you were off. He’s jealous as fuck. He let her go, and now he sees that she is happy and he can’t handle it. He probably has a small dick.”

Spencer laughed out loud, and I couldn’t help it—I laughed, too. God, I loved this man. “He for sure has a small dick because I could’ve flicked him across the stadium with one finger.”

Coach nodded. “See? Think about what Allie would tell you right now.” He pointed in the vicinity of the suites. “Would she want you to worry about this, or would she want you to channel that anger into getting us into the championship?”

I paced back and forth, yanking at my hair. Spencer stood to the side, letting me figure out my shit. “I am going to murder these players today,” I said. “You need to keep me in the whole time. I’m going to single-handedly win this game for us.”

“Hey,” Spencer said, pointing to himself. “You gonna QB, too?”

“I just might,” I said. My hands still shook with anger, and I felt like I could run through a brick wall, but they were right. I needed to use it to fuel the game. I wished I could talk to Mallie right now and tell her what happened before she saw it on social media, but I couldn’t. She may already know.

“You can’t talk to her,” Spencer said, reading my mind. “You have to focus. Remember, she’s used to the media talking about her. I bet she doesn’t even give it a second thought.”

I closed my eyes, the things he said echoing in my head. The cameras pointed at us once they figured out what was going on. I’m sorry, angel, I tried to telepathically tell her. I just couldn’t walk by and let him disrespect you . Why didn’t I just keep walking? I could’ve avoided this entire thing.

“Come on,” Coach said. “Get out there and warm up and run some plays.”

I ran off the field after yet another set of four downs that we couldn’t move the ball on and threw my helmet down, with it bouncing away from me before I collapsed on the bench. I put my head between my knees and screamed every expletive I could think of. I was so goddamn frustrated. It was the third quarter, and I had touched the ball three times so far. We were losing the game by two touchdowns. Our team was not working together, and I didn’t know why.

I was off. Very much so. Spencer started averting plays that involved me having the ball after the second quarter. When we talked at halftime, I promised to get my shit together. I tried, but I couldn’t. The anger I felt was not being relieved by running down guys or scoring because we couldn’t seem to do either. I had, however, gotten two penalties for unnecessary roughness.

“Nolan!” I heard Spencer’s voice, and I lifted my head. I respected the hell out of his position, and despite that, we were best friends and basically brothers. When we were on the field, this guy was my chief. He lifted me up by my pads so we looked eye to eye.

“You need to get your fucking shit together, or I’m telling Coach to take you out of this game,” he said. It wasn’t often that Spencer got mad, but he was furious. “You have no business getting penalties for that shit. This is rookie shit you’re doing.” He pointed upward. “This is what you want to show her, that this is how you handle someone saying something about her? Do you know how many people talk shit about her on the internet?”

“That’s not to my face, and it’s not her fucking ex that she was with for five years.”

“Take a walk and get it together. When we go back in on offense, if you have one more penalty, I’m telling Coach to bench you.”

He walked away and I did what he said. We may be equals in a lot of ways, but on this field, he was my boss.

I walked up and down the sideline, my teammates watching me warily. I got it. They weren’t used to seeing this Theo. I could see the headlines already running all over social media, and my thoughts immediately went to Mallie, wondering what she knew. I also knew she could see me playing like absolute garbage, and I was sure the cameras were on Spencer in my face a few minutes ago.

I sighed. I had to stop. I was making it worse. There was nothing I could do right now but not give the media something else to say about me until I could talk to her. I looked up into the stands behind our sideline, seeking out the signs for our team. I smiled at the sheer number of them that were focused on Allie’s attendance here. We’re Lovestruck for the Blaze caught my eye, with her heart logo and our flame together.

I walked back to the bench just as the other team got a field goal, putting them up by seventeen. “Fuck,” I muttered. I picked up my helmet and walked over to the offense, huddled up around Spencer. His gaze asked the question he didn’t voice, and I nodded. I was here. I had to be. This was my team. They deserved the best of me.

“Let’s fucking get this done,” I said. “We have to work together.”

Spencer looked relieved as he called out plays. We had a little more than one quarter to get this shit done.

I let the water run down my face, hiding the tears as they continued to fall. We fucking lost. Our season was over. And while it was not my fault, I didn’t help matters much, either. While I did get my shit together in the fourth quarter and scored one touchdown and got over a hundred yards, it just wasn’t enough. We lost by one field goal, which almost hurt worse than being blown out because it was that fucking close .

Now I had to apologize to Mallie for what happened before the game and see what mayhem I had caused online. I was afraid to pick up my phone. I guaranteed both Jamie and Zoey had contacted me to talk about damage control. With the two of us, they often worked together now on what was going on. I sighed and ran the soap over my sore body. Most of the guys were done showering, but I was stalling. I had to deal with shit I didn’t want to deal with. Shit I created with my own mouth and hands.

What would she think? Was she mad at me? Did this put her right back into her insecurities with us? I dropped my head and let the water go down my back. God, London had been so amazing. The press ate up our time there together, and everything was good. Seeing her in her element so many nights made me love and appreciate her even more. Then, the night we were at the pub, even after it got leaked, made her so happy. She didn’t even care that the whole world had watched us dance, sing, and make out.

Now this. Fucking Josiah. What was his endgame here? Did he want her back? Or was he just so angry that she was happy in the media, something he hated, that he had to try to mess it up for us? And why did I fall right into his trap?

I shut the shower off, refusing to allow myself to wallow another minute. Mallie waited for me, and I needed to get to her and hopefully salvage this situation. Despite my foul mood, I had to make it right.

I dried off and walked to my borrowed locker and grabbed my outfit. The locker room was quiet, most of the guys wearing headphones and zoning out to deal with the loss. We’d already had our postgame meeting, and now we were just waiting for our bus ride to the airport. However, I had plenty of time to go up and see Mallie before she left. I knew she was staying in New York for a few days to record before we would meet in LA for our first awards show together. She was up for multiple awards for both Lovestruck the album and Lovestruck the tour, and if she won Entertainer of the Year for the third time in her career, she would set a record. That is if she still wanted me to go. I grabbed my phone and bypassed all notifications to text her.

I will be up in a few minutes .

Her response was instant. OK .

OK. That was all. How did two letters seem so ominous?

Spencer walked over. “You okay?”

I blew out a breath. “Yeah, I think so. It fucking sucks, man. We worked so goddamn hard.”

He nodded. “We did.”

“I’m sorry I wasn’t the best version of myself today,” I said.

“You got it together in the end. None of us played our best. It just wasn’t meant to be.” He indicated my phone. “Did you talk to her?”

“I just told her I’d be up in a few minutes and she said okay.”

He nodded. “Briggs and I are waiting for you to go up. Spencer, Isaiah, and Xavier already went up. We have less than an hour until boarding.”

I wanted to be excited that Briggs was going up to see Bailey, but I was too worried about Mallie to respond. I nodded and tucked my phone in my pocket. They would load our bags, so I set mine in front of my locker and made my way out of the locker room.

Juan was waiting for me, and I nodded at him. He led the way to the elevator that would take me to her. Fans still milled around and shouted once they saw us. I waved, even though it was the last thing I wanted to do. I looked straight ahead, hoping Josiah was not there again because there was no way I had enough resolve not to kill him now.

“She is a distraction for you!” a voice shouted, clear as day. “It’s your fault we aren’t going to the championships!” Other people shouted in response, seeming to agree. I bit my cheek to keep from responding. Juan glanced at me but said nothing.

“Go up and get your girlfriend and tell her to get out of here! We need you back as a player, not as a pussy!”

“Yeah! Maybe if your head wasn’t buried in her pussy, you’d have your head in the game!”

“Fuck you, Nolan! They should’ve benched your ass!”

“Guess you should’ve stayed here and practiced instead of vacationing in London!”

The elevator doors closed behind us, and I leaned against the wall and closed my eyes. I fought the urge to turn around and punch the wall.

“Shit, man,” Briggs said. “You okay?”

“Leave him be,” Spencer warned.

I had less than a minute to get my shit together. It wasn’t that I didn’t think she’d care that I was upset or that I lost, but I had to do damage control first and make sure she was okay after Josiah showed up here and made a spectacle of us. My feelings could come after that.

The door opened, and thank the Lord, the hallway was clear. No more screaming people to deal with. Juan walked ahead of us, and Spencer put his hand on my arm before we went into the suite.

“Hey,” he said. “Focus on her. Let it go. This is the kind of shit she deals with on a daily basis, times one million. You know people are always talking shit about her online, and there’s nothing she can do but just keep living her life.”

“I know,” I said, “but this time, I contributed to it.”