Lovestruck

19. Allie

CHAPTER 19

Allie

I paced the suite, Zoey on the phone for the millionth time in the last four hours. She, of course, had been discussing with Jamie what to do, if anything, with the debacle that had been Teddy and Josiah and then Teddy’s behavior on the field.

My stomach was in knots, as it had been for hours. I barely watched the game, instead dealing with all of this. I knew, of course, that Teddy had a horrible game and they lost, but the moment I saw Josiah on the phone screen and heard the things he said, my day was shot.

Lacey, Brittanie, and Sydney were rock stars, trying to do anything to help me. Teddy’s mom paced like a worried mom does, both for her kid and for me. There wasn’t much of the game that was watched from this suite. Fucking Josiah. Why? Why did he do that? He had been silent since our breakup. What in God’s name possessed him to do this now, on the most important day of Teddy’s season?

The door to the suite opened and Teddy walked in with Spencer and Briggs, looking destroyed. Everyone quieted, and Lacey went right to Spencer, hugging him tight. He buried his face in her neck, and they swayed back and forth, no words said. Bailey stood next to me, eyeing Briggs. He looked right at her and smiled, it not quite reaching his eyes. I hadn’t been around yet when Teddy lost a game, even though he had when I wasn’t in attendance. But none of them were the magnitude of this one, and for the assumed reasons it was lost.

“I gotta go,” I said to Zoey. “Teddy is here. Whatever you and Jamie decide is fine. Just let me know. I’m fine with doing nothing and just letting it play out. I’ll be in the car on the way home in the next hour, so call me if you need me.”

Zoey hung up, and I slid the phone into my pocket. He hugged his mom briefly before releasing her and coming to me. He took my hand and pulled me to the corner of the suite, out of most of the vantage points of any lingering cameras. He wrapped his arms around me, and I melted into him, tears pricking the back of my eyes at the relief of being in his arms and the stress of the last four hours.

“Angel,” he said, his voice cracking. “How much of a mess did I create?”

I sighed. “It’s a mess,” I said, “but you didn’t create it. Well, not entirely anyway.”

Teddy pulled back and looked into my eyes, his jaw working as he processed the mess I admitted to. “I couldn’t let him talk about you like that.”

I thought about the video I had watched so many times I had it memorized. The vile words Josiah tossed at Teddy and the immediate physical response Teddy had to defend me. The people, recording from every angle, catching every word between them. Briggs and two of the other guys had carried Teddy away to keep him from attacking Josiah. And Josiah had continued his vitriol after they’d walked away, getting his full five minutes of fame with those warriors with cell phones.

So much for our London trip being all over the internet. This was front and center, that and Teddy’s many outbursts on the sidelines, from throwing his helmet to cussing and then getting two unnecessary roughness penalties. Now, of course, the narrative was that he had no business being with me in London when he had a game to prepare for.

“I appreciate that,” I said, “and he was completely out of line. I’m sorry you had to deal with that before your huge game. I feel terrible.”

Teddy shook his head and cradled my face in his hands. “I made it harder for you. The one thing you didn’t want was me making things harder for you,” Teddy said. He stepped back and pulled his hands through his hair. “All I wanted to do was be the best person for you, and the first chance I have to prove to you that I can handle it, this is what I do.”

“Hey,” I said, trying to stop his tirade, but he was pacing the room now.

“All I had to do was win this fucking game,” he said. Everyone in the room watched as his emotions caught up to him. “I let my team down. I let you down,” he said to the room, waving his arm around. He turned back to me. “If only I hadn’t had to deal with your ex showing up like some sort of fanboy talking about your pussy, wanting some sort of pissing contest with me. Maybe then none of us would be in this place right now.”

The gasps that rang out around the room made tears fill my eyes and my mouth dropped open in shock.

“Theo,” Bailey said, her voice low and deadly.

“Theo,” Sandra interjected softly, and Theo’s gaze went immediately to his mother. His face crumpled as he saw the disappointment there.

Briggs stepped forward and got in Teddy’s face. “You better fucking watch yourself, Nolan. You’re upset, and we all understand.” He turned Teddy to face me. “Look at her face. What the fuck are you doing right now?”

Teddy looked at me, and tears filled his eyes as he took in my crushed expression and the tears tracking down my face. I didn’t need a camera to know what I looked like right now because my exterior look was nothing compared to the shredding of my soul.

Teddy sat and put his head in his hands. His back shook as he worked through the emotions that overtook him, but I was frozen. I wanted to go to him, but every single one of my insecurities stopped me from moving. I stood stock-still, wondering if I was dreaming or if this entire thing was really happening right now. Did the man who loves me really just talk about my pussy in front of an entire room of his family and friends? Did he just inadvertently say that it was my fault that his team lost the game? I felt my face flame at the realization of exactly what he said.

Bailey held on to my arm as tears dripped down my face. Teddy’s mom walked over and put her arm around my shoulders. She whispered something in my ear, but I had no idea what she said because my ears roared with the embarrassment of Teddy’s words. The girls assembled next to me as we watched this man crumble in front of us. After what seemed like forever, Teddy stood up. Everyone in the suite watched as he strode to me. His eyes were red, and his hands shook as he took mine. I couldn’t move as his gaze searched my face, looking for reassurance I didn’t have.

“I’m sorry,” he said, his voice cracking. “That was totally uncalled for. I should not have said that. It isn’t anyone’s fault but my own that this happened.”

My heart squeezed, seeing him this upset. All I wanted to do was make him feel better. But then I caught Bailey’s look over his shoulder, and I remembered what he said in front of this entire room of people. I wasn’t accepting this kind of treatment from anyone anymore, no matter how much I loved them. What he said was out of line, no matter how upset he was. We both needed some space to think things through. I needed to get out of this room, away from the possibility of being recorded with this debacle happening in front of anyone left in the stadium, and for the first time ever—away from Teddy.

I removed my hands from his, and he glanced down at them before looking back at me. I saw the panic in his eyes, but I couldn’t deal with it right now. I had to deal with the fact that my own was bubbling up my chest, threatening to take me down. “I’m going to go. Lord knows how much has been recorded in this suite in the last few minutes to make things even worse, and I need some space.” I looked over his head to Juan. “Juan, tell Rico I’m ready to go.”

Juan immediately opened the door and had a quick conversation with Rico.

“No,” Teddy said. He grabbed my hands and I pulled back. Bailey crossed her arms next to me, understanding my vibe. I stepped back, putting space between us, and his eyes widened with realization. He shook his head, and we had a silent conversation. He pleaded for me to forgive him, and I put up my wall. A wall I’d never had to have with him.

“I’m going home, Teddy,” I said out loud. “I’ll talk to you later.” The door opened and Rico gestured to us, and I turned to walk away.

“Please, angel,” he said, tears in his eyes again. “Talk to me now. I’m so sorry. I love you so much, and I lost it. Please forgive me.”

“I will talk to you,” I said, stepping around him, “when I’m done being mad and you are done being an asshole. Right now, I’m going home, and so are you.”

I hugged his mom and the girls. I nodded at Bailey, and we crossed the room to utter silence. Just as we reached the door, Teddy called my name again and tried to move. Spencer held him and said, “Let her go, man.”

Bailey turned back to Teddy. “Fucking dumbass,” she muttered.

I closed my eyes, the video with Josiah and Teddy replaying again and the horrible words echoing around me. I didn’t know why I was still watching, but I couldn’t stop.

The reports were just as bad as I anticipated—Theo had a temper. Theo almost punched a guy half his size for talking crap about me. Never mind that Josiah, my known ex, had instigated it and said awful things that would incite anyone. The only thing that mattered was Teddy’s reaction. Then the clips of him throwing his helmet, yelling on the sidelines, and the two penalties he had gotten added fuel to the fire. Let’s also not forget that his going to London was a distraction when he should’ve been focusing on the game, so the loss was his fault and his dating me was bad for his career.

Then there was the suite. Yeah, someone had video of him coming into the suite looking distraught. They were far away and there was no sound, but the “expert” lip readers supposedly cracked what he said. The only part that mattered, of course, was the part that seemed like he said to me, “I don’t want to deal with some fanboy that just wants your pussy. I don’t want this.” Of course, shortly after that, I left the suite without him and left the stadium before he got on the bus to fly home. I had unknowingly fed into the rumors by leaving, but I had figured no one was left to record us. Lesson learned.

The news coverage was, of course, that I should leave him, that I did leave him, that I realized what a red flag he was and walked out on him. Video footage of Theo arriving back in Florida, looking forlorn, only made that seem true. Somehow Josiah still smelled like a fucking rose in all of this.

On top of it all, some of the Blaze fans were first in line with the firing squad, calling for him to be fined or benched or, in extreme cases, fired from the team. Coach Reynolds, whom I’d met several times, even did a press conference to address the issues. He reiterated that Theo didn’t do anything wrong, that what had been said about me was terrible and that Theo’s reaction was normal for anyone. It didn’t matter. They were judge, jury, and executioner right now, and the criminals were us.

I wiped my eyes, unable to cope with any of this. Teddy had hurt my feelings, for sure, with what he had said. Did I see him as a red flag? Not at all. He had texted me a million times since I left, and I did respond. I was a fucking adult and wasn’t going to ignore him, but I also didn’t want to talk to him or see him yet. I had to dig through my hurt and this shitstorm before I could decide how we’d move on from this. I knew he didn’t mean what he said and instantly regretted the bad choice of words, but he had been taunted all the way up there from what other videos I saw. It didn’t excuse him lashing out at me in front of everyone, but his emotions had been in hyperdrive for almost six hours at that point.

Now that what he said had been misconstrued and put out there to make it sound even worse, he was even more of a disaster. I was not breaking up with him. I loved him. I expected something like this once we were out in public, but I now had to deal with it and figure out a way we could come out on the other side and be out of the drama news cycle. Zoey and Jamie were currently in constant communication, trying to get ahead of this and figure out damage control. I never said anything publicly. It had been years since I did an interview due to the invasive nature of these vulture reporters. But it just may be time to set the record straight.

Bailey and my mom were just as incessant with their texts. I responded, but I wanted to be alone. They both offered to come home with me, but I couldn’t deal with talking right now. It was just me and Charlie, curled up on the couch, obsessing over my phone. Okay, he was obsessing over the new toy Conor got him, but whatever.

The phone rang and I sighed. It was Zoey, which meant I had to answer it. “Hey, Zo,” I said, sounding as exhausted as I was. I could sleep for a week. Too bad that wasn’t possible in my life, and definitely not with this amount of drama.

“Hey, Al,” she said back, just as tired. It was hard work to run my life. “Jamie and I have a plan; I just need your approval. Well, both of you, but she can’t get ahold of Theo right now. Do you have any idea where he is?”

“No,” I said. “The last time he texted me was several hours ago. I told him I needed some time and that I’d talk to him tomorrow. What’s the plan?”

“You’re scheduled to go to the PMA Awards next week,” Zoey said.

“Yes, I know. I’m leaving on Wednesday to go to LA.”

“Theo is attending with you,” Zoey said. “He will wrap up his responsibilities with his team on Wednesday and fly out with you.”

I sighed. Teddy already planned to accompany me there, so I knew there was another reason for her to bring this up now and more than likely, I wasn’t going to enjoy what she said next. “And then what?”

“We will arrange for you and Theo to sit down with a reporter on Thursday before the awards on Sunday.”

“No,” I said immediately.

“I know,” she said, “but we have one that promises to let you guys lead the questions and answers. I’ve worked with him in the past. He has actually flown around the world covering your shows. The company he works for has him as a full-time Allie Witt reporter.”

“Jesus,” I said. “There is such a thing?”

Zoey laughed. “You’re big business, Al. You know this. Sometimes I think you forget just how much power you wield. Anyway, he knows how huge this is. You haven’t done a sit-down interview in over five years. He has been told that if you agree to this, you will get final say on whatever he publishes.”

“You think we need to do this?” I asked. Zoey didn’t tell me something unless she tried all the alternatives.

“I think you do. With the shit going on right now, we need something positive from both of you. He will sit down with you, have some pictures done of both of you, do your interview, and write the article that night. Once you approve, he will put it out no later than Friday. That’ll give it almost two days in the news cycle before the awards. Then you and Theo will be seen on the red carpet together, a first for you, and hopefully it will turn the news cycle back around and calm things down.”

“I definitely want that,” I said, “and I believe you that this guy wants this exclusive, so he will do what we want, but I still hate that we have to go through this dog and pony show just to live our lives.”

“I know,” she said, “but you are both well-known people with high-profile jobs. This is just part of it. You plan to stay with him, right?”

I knew she had to ask, but it annoyed me at the same time. “I love him, Zoey.”

“I know you do. I’m just making sure I’m not doing something you don’t want.”

“Jamie is on board with this, too?”

“Yes. As soon as we get Theo to approve, we will confirm with Scott—that’s the reporter.”

“And you will be there?”

“Jamie and I will both be there, yes. We will not throw you to the wolves or leave you alone. He is aware that this is an exclusive of a lifetime and that how he does this will determine whether he’s given exclusives from you guys in the future. He has promised that you can veto any and everything you don’t want. This is all about you guys.”

“This is video, or just print?”

“Both,” she said. “They’ll also take some pictures of the two of you prior. You will be able to decide if those are used as well.”

A text popped up on my screen, and it was Rico. I need to talk to you for a minute in person . Rico and Juan shared the downstairs apartment when we were here in New York, so all he had to do was come up through the garage. I sighed again. What could he possibly have to talk to me about at this time of night? Hopefully there wasn’t a security issue outside. I knew people were all outside, even more so after the shitstorm of press.

“I have to go,” I said to Zoey. “Rico needs me for something.” I texted him back: Okay, come on in. I’m still up.

“Is everything okay?” she said, concern in her voice.

“He didn’t say it wasn’t, so I’m guessing so,” I said. “I’ll talk to Teddy tomorrow and let you know the final answer, but I’d say he will be fine with whatever I want to do.”

I knew he would do whatever I wanted based on the disaster that just happened, but that was not why I wanted him to agree to it. I wanted him to be okay with the spectacle we had to make of ourselves. He was used to doing interviews, but this would be like nothing he’d ever done before. I sighed. Welcome to my life.

We disconnected, and I stood up just as my door opened and Rico stepped inside, but that’s not what I noticed the most. I noticed the giant man standing behind him, holding the most beautiful flowers I’d seen since the last bouquet he sent me.

“Rico,” I said, my eyes on Teddy’s.

“Listen,” Rico said. “He made such a good case for me letting him in to see you. I like this guy, okay?”

“And what is that case?” I said, my eyes still on Teddy’s. He looked so handsome in a pair of fitted jeans and a long sleeve button-down shirt, but his eyes were red-rimmed and tired. He had marks on his head from the game, and scrapes lined his forearms where his shirt was pushed up. God, I loved his arms. He stood next to Rico, holding the flowers, not moving until I gave the go-ahead, apparently.

“That I love you,” Teddy said. “And that I’m the biggest moron in the history of morons, but I could not let you go to bed tonight without knowing just how in love I am with you. I know you wanted space, and I’m sorry. I will go if you want me to, but I just couldn’t stand not seeing your face and telling you how goddamn sorry I am that all of this happened.” His voice cracked and he cleared his throat, making tears fill my eyes. “I will never, not ever, intentionally hurt you. I said something really shitty that I didn’t mean, and even worse, it’s now misunderstood all over social media. I did that. I took what Josiah did and played right into his hands. He won that round, even if he was an awful human being for doing that.”

He stepped forward and I nodded at Rico, who immediately disappeared out the front door and back to his apartment.

“You’ve got him wrapped right around your huge finger,” I said, pointing at the closed door.

Teddy laughed. “Rico is a great dude. I got Juan, too, but they decided that only one of them should come up here just in case you fired them, so one of the two would be left. I’ve been down there for an hour trying to work out how to get you to let me in.”

I laughed despite the heaviness in my gut. I stepped up to him and took the flowers, motioning for him to follow me into the kitchen to put them in a vase. “They’ve been with me for over ten years, and you come in here and win them over in just a few months.”

“They apparently hated Josiah,” he said, “because they took me to his apartment first.”

My mouth dropped open and I stopped, the flowers in my hand. “What? Oh God, please. Don’t tell me there’s more for the press to find out.”

“Oh no,” he said. “There was no one there; we made sure of that. And Josiah is going to keep his fucking mouth shut about you from here on out and stay the hell away from any football games. We have an understanding now.”

“Is he—dead?” I whispered.

Teddy laughed and slapped the counter. As much as this day had been emotionally wrecking, his laugh was infectious, and I joined in. “Mallie,” he said. “No. I didn’t touch the guy, but he sure thought I might. We had a conversation man to man. That’s all you need to know.”

“Are you sure?” I asked.

“Do you trust me? Even after I acted like an idiot today?”

I nodded. That was not even a question in my mind. “Of course.”

“Thank you. He is taken care of and will not be showing up at any games or saying anything to anyone.” He walked around the counter and stood in front of me. “Angel,” he said. “I need to hold you. Can I please?”

My hands shook like it was the first time he was about to touch me all over again. Despite the amount of times that this man had touched me, this was the first time after any sort of fight. I bit my lip and nodded, giving him the go-ahead.

“You know what this does to me,” he said, pulling my lip from my teeth and leaning over to kiss my lips. I gasped into his mouth and wrapped my arms around him. Our tongues met, and his hands gripped my rib cage like he was keeping me from floating away. My knees buckled, and he lifted me so I sat on the counter, never breaking the kiss. He nipped at my lips and tongue, shifting so we could kiss deeper. I held his face, his beard tickling my palms like I loved. I ran my thumbs along his cheeks as we kissed. I pulled him closer with my legs around his hips as we both turned this shitty day into the love we had for each other.

He slowed and rained kisses along my face, nose, and forehead. He rested his head against mine, and we breathed each other in, our eyes closed and no words being said. I ran my hands down his chest and around his torso, then rested my head on his chest.

“Mallie,” he said, kissing the top of my head. “I have never been more scared in my life than I was when I saw you walk out of the suite today. It took everything in me not to drop to my knees and beg you to stop. I never want that feeling again, angel. You are everything to me. Flying home with the team, I was the most insufferable man you’ll ever meet. Once we landed, I told Coach Reynolds I had to go to you, and he chartered me a plane himself. That’s how I got here so fast. I am so sorry. Please forgive me for being a complete asshole and embarrassing you in front of our family and friends. Trust me, they’ve all told me what an idiot I am, too.”

He rubbed his hands up and down my back as I listened, feeling the reverberation of his voice through his chest. I closed my eyes and drank it in. The words he said, the way he made me feel. We’d had our first real test as a couple today. While things were thrown at both of us that we couldn’t have predicted, and the shitstorm wouldn’t stop for a while, right here and now, we were together. He came to me even though I pushed him away. He wouldn’t let me doubt us.

“I accept your apology,” I started, tilting my head back to look at him. Teddy’s dimples popped as he smiled in relief. “I know you were upset and your emotions got the best of you, but that is your one free pass. Unfortunately, in our lives, we do not have the luxury of allowing emotions to overtake reason when every move we make is recorded and posted all over social media.”

“I know,” Teddy said, clasping my hands in his. “I knew better, even before being with you. I know now we are on a scale I’ve never witnessed before, and that was a complete rookie move. I promise you that will never, ever happen again.”

I nodded. “I believe you, and I’m sorry you have to be held to the unattainable standards I’m held to now, too.”

He shook his head. “No. Don’t apologize. I am in the fishbowl with you, angel. I don’t want it any other way. I made a really stupid mistake in a very public way, and I promise this is the only time you will ever have to deal with press because of me.”

I buried my head in his chest, the relief I felt at his words overwhelming my emotions. Tears pricked at my eyes again. Despite how shitty this day was, what he said just now was what I needed to hear. No matter what unattainable standard the media held me to, Teddy was still okay with being part of it with me. My thoughts spiraled over the last few hours, wondering once again if love would ever be enough for me to have true and utter happiness.

I squeezed him tightly, my hands gripping his T-shirt. Despite fighting them, tears began sliding down my face and onto his shirt. Ever in tune with me, he knew immediately and shifted back so he could see my face.

“Mallie,” he whispered, using his thumbs to wipe my tears away. “Baby, don’t cry. I hate seeing you upset, and especially when I know it’s because of me. I love you so much. I am so sorry.”

I shook my head, trying to stop the stream. He held my face in his hands and studied my face. “I was so scared,” I whispered.

“Scared?” His voice was little more than a breath.

“That love wouldn’t be enough for you to endure this with me,” I admitted. “That this whole thing messed up your game and you’d decide I wasn’t worth it.”

Teddy’s eyes widened. “Baby, that makes me literally sick to my stomach that I made you feel that way. There is nothing—literally nothing—that you could do to not make me want to do this life with you. You’re it for me. I’m all in, in every single way. I love you more than anything else in this world, Mallorie Rose Witt. Are you hearing me? You’re worth every single thing. There is no question in my mind, and there never will be.”

I sniffled, the tears from happiness this time. I felt every word he said deep in my soul. They filled in the cracks from earlier and reassured me that this was, in fact, my person.

“I have never been more relieved in my life,” I said, smiling through my tears. “I’m all in, too, Teddy. Just so you know. I wasn’t going to end things; I just needed to get away from the situation and think.”

He blew out a breath and kissed my lips softly. “I was so scared, too, baby. Scared that you’d think I wasn’t worth the drama, either.”

I shook my head and put my hands on his face. We looked into each other’s eyes, a silent conversation reassuring both of us that this was just our first bump and it was going to be nothing more than a blip on our relationship road.

“Thank you for coming,” I said. “I’m glad you didn’t listen to me. I needed you.”

“I needed you, too,” he said. “So fucking much. Hey, you know what?”

“What?”

His tired eyes sparkled, and a smirk played on his face. “We had our first fight.”

I laughed. “I guess we kind of did.”

“You know what that means?” He ran his hands up under my T-shirt, and I shivered.

“What does that mean?” I asked, his touch sending a signal that my body definitely heard.

“Our first session of makeup sex.”