Twenty-one
Sadie
“Woah, wait, Sadie, you want to get married?” Kate asks. Her eyes widen so far, I’m afraid they may get stuck that way.
“Yes. We do.” I lift my head and stay firm. Kate is going to either be supportive or lay into me far worse than my parents did. I disappointed my parents. Kate? Kate doesn’t get disappointed, she gets mad, and she makes sure everyone in a twenty-mile radius hears what she thinks.
“I take you to one concert and you end up marrying the guy? That’s the last time I get you out of the house,” she says, scoffing. Nick, Ben, and I all look at one another, and after a few seconds we all start laughing. Kate stops pacing a hole in the floor and looks at us.
“What is so funny!” I lift my hand and try to stop my laughter. Part of me is laughing because it was truly funny, but I also feel delirious. Today has been a whirlwind of emotions, from waking up to a proposal to watching my parents lose all faith in me to being intimate and vulnerable with Ben. I’m overstimulated, tired, and sad, but overall, I’m in love. My heart is devastated over my parents, but I can’t help but feel proud. Being with Ben and deciding to prove my parents—and anyone else—wrong is something I did for me. I picked love over all other things. Over logic, over my parents, over the life I thought I should have. I chose the good, the bad, and the ugly, and I chose to do that with Ben.
“Nothing. It’s funny because you have a point.”
“Well, I am glad you find this funny, but why can’t you just date? This isn’t the eighteen hundreds, guys. You know dating is a thing, right?”
“Why can’t we get married? Why is that such a fucking issue for everyone except the two people it will affect if it goes to shit?” Ben speaks up; he is growing agitated now.
“Because—well, because!” That’s all Kate can say, looking defeated. What is one reason we shouldn’t? Everyone is telling us that we are too young, that marriage is a compromise and so much more, but no one will tell us what it is that we are going to compromise on.
“Kate. I love you. I love my parents. I hope you guys know that I appreciate you looking out for me. But this is the first time I am doing something that I want to do. Something that makes me happy. He makes me really, really happy, Kate.”
I’m standing in front of her, with her hands in mine. Both of us have tears in our eyes. Our years of friendship have been filled with so much love and a sisterhood that I grew up wishing I could have.
Every person in my life means so much to me, to the point that my heart could burst, and that is undoubtedly my biggest weakness. An empathetic heart is often the one that gets used, abused, and broken the most. Caring for others and putting their needs first doesn’t always get you rewarded; in fact, most times, it leaves you bleeding and alone.
“Damn you, Sadie.” She takes one of her hands from mine and wipes away a fallen tear. Kate has never been a crier.
“I need someone in my corner, and you are my best friend. Please, trust me.” Her eyes look to Ben and Nick behind me then back to me.
“Fine, but I swear to the gods above, Ben, if you hurt her, I will castrate you myself and put it in a blender.” She sniffles through her warning.
“You have my word. Scout’s honor,” Ben says behind me, and I smile.
“I guess we get you married. Yup. I guess that’s what we’re doing.” She is mostly talking to herself, processing everything. A slight sting hits me, realizing I won’t have my parents there.
This isn’t what I thought would happen. Having my parents beside me at my wedding has always been included in my dreams of the future. There was going to be a soft breeze blowing around my husband and me in the wooded chapel built in the Portland forest. But plans change, and for the first time the details I’ve calculated about the outcome of my life are unraveling before me, showing me life will never be what I plan it. But that doesn’t mean the new plan isn’t going to be as beautiful. As painful as it may be to not have my mother and father with me, I have him. Ben Cooper. He will be right there with me.
* * *
“Thank you for letting me borrow this dress,” I say to Kate as she curls the last strand of my hair. The dress is a maxi style, the straps are thin, and the top hugs my breasts like glue with braided trim woven around my breasts to give the dress more shape.
“You keep it. It looks better on you. My boobs are too small for it.” I reach up and place my hand on hers where it sits on my shoulder. She is looking at me in the mirror. We came back to her place to get ready, agreeing to meet Ben and Nick on the steps of the courthouse at three. We have a few minutes left to head out the door, but I need time alone with her.
“Thank you. I needed you, and you didn’t walk away.” I start to tear up again. No. No. I don’t want to cry again.
“They will come around. I promise,” she comforts me. Kate squeezes my shoulders, kisses the top of my head, then finishes the last touches on my hair. We sit in comfortable silence.
God, I hope she is right.
When we climb out of the car, I see Ben first. He’s in a black suit, with a white button-up shirt, a black tie, and shiny dress shoes. He looks handsome standing on the steps of the courthouse, and my heart picks up speed. In a few minutes, he will be all mine, and that thought wrecks me in all the right ways. Nick stands behind him, and when I smile at him, he returns it with a wink.
“Here’s to us and nights out at concerts,” Kate whispers in my ear teasingly, and we giggle. Happiness surrounds us, and even though there is a big hole missing, everyone here is doing their best to fill it with love and acceptance. She walks me up the steps, and we hug before she lets Ben take over. He softly takes me and pulls me flush against him. There is nothing traditional about today, all the way down to how he holds me close to him, leaving no room between us.
“I got you now, trust me, angel,” he whispers, and I visibly relax, falling into the arms of my best friend.
The officiant begins, and in the late afternoon sun on a Saturday, we get married with only a few witnesses, two simple gold bands, and our young, untainted love, declaring that it is officially us against the world.
We decided that we wouldn’t exchange vows at the ceremony; instead, we want to do that on our own time. Intimacy and privacy will be our number-one priority. Our connection will be made in those sacred moments.
“Sadie Cooper. Wow. The woman who changed the man,” Nick teases once the ceremony is over, enfolding me in his arms. Ben is on a call with his bandmates, filling them in, and Kate left to get dinner with her family for her mother’s birthday. It was hard to let her go, but I’m thankful to know that she is in my corner.
“No, he’s changing me.” I smile, returning his embrace. I’ve grown comfortable with Nick; at first, I was a little intimidated by his rough exterior, but over the past two weeks, we have grown closer, and I adore how he takes care of Ben.
“If he ever gives you shit, I’ll kick his ass.”
“You love him too much to do that.” I wink.
“Don’t tell him, but I may love you more.” He returns my smile.
“Thank you for being good to him. I think he looks at you like a father figure, even though he doesn’t say it,” I admit as I watch Ben smile down the steps as he tells the guys what we did—given his infectious grin, I assume it’s all congratulations and a bit of hazing. He looks so handsome, utterly carefree, and it melts me. I love him.
“I love him like a son, and sometimes he tests me like a son, so I’d think so.”
“Yup.” We both laugh, and Ben makes his way in our direction.
“Can I have time with my wife now?”
“Sorry.” Nick shrugs.
“No, you’re not.” Ben laughs, pulling me into him, and I close my eyes against his warmth. The rain has stopped, but the clouds still hover over us. I take in a deep inhale of his scent, and it smells like . . . home.
“True. Now come on. It’s almost four, and we have to drive into Seattle.”
“Seattle, why?” I lean back slightly and look up at him.
“Because I got us a suite in a luxury hotel. You think I’m taking you back to my apartment on our wedding night? Hell no.” He shakes his head. “I’m taking you for a small honeymoon before I leave tomorrow.” Caught up in all that’s happened today, I forgot he leaves on tour again tomorrow. If I didn’t have finals coming up, I would go with him; that way, we wouldn’t have to leave each other right after we got married. But such is life, and we knew what this meant. Married or not, we have lives to live that require we work extra hard. As much as I want to go with Ben, I still want my career.
“You didn’t have to do that. You could have taken us home,” I whisper, playing with his tie. A blush breaks out over my skin, heating my body. I know what comes tonight, and now that the wedding is over, reality is sinking in. Tonight, I will finally give myself to him—all of me.
“All right, there is a car in the underground garage, and it’s ready to go. Be back here by two o’clock tomorrow; the bus leaves at two thirty.” Nick interrupts to hand us the car keys.
“I’ll see you then. Thanks, man.” We share quick hugs with Nick, then he is gone.
“I want to make sure tonight is perfect for you.” Standing on my tiptoes, I feel my body flame with arousal, anxious to become his completely.
“Take me away, then.” I blush more. The truth is, I’m petrified knowing I’m going to have sex. Ben growls, taking my lips in a feverish kiss, our tongues at war and our hands clawing to get closer.
Our lips drag apart, my body still flush against his bent frame.
“Fuck.” Ben separates us and takes a deep breath, trying to calm down. I am practically panting. After the shower we shared, I want to get to that hotel and share more with him. I want to feel all of the man I love and offer myself up to him like a beautiful sacrifice.
“Let’s go,” he growls, taking my hand. He is as starved for us as I am.
“Please.” With that, we are off to Seattle.
* * *
I’m a complete wreck. We left right after our heated kiss, and my stomach’s been in knots the entire drive. Ben sings almost every song on the radio to me, and we share laughs and intimate touches. We really don’t speak much about what’s going to happen in the hotel room, but my mind is sure having a fit over it.
We pull up to the hotel, and I admire the beautiful glass high-rise. The sky is dark and the clouds are heavy with rain, and I can smell the ocean from here. I stay a few steps behind Ben, my hand in his as I take in the elegant lobby. The floors are a beautiful white marble, and the ceiling has multiple intricately designed chandeliers hanging down.
The bellhop loads up the cart with our two small bags; we could have carried them ourselves, but that’s not the kind of place this is. I thank the bellhop while Ben checks us in. In what seems like mere seconds, we are in the elevator. The ride is quiet, but our discreet touches feel loud. His hand rests on my hip with my back touching his front. He plants kisses on my shoulders sporadically and massages the skin of my hip. I can’t help but shiver.
As each floor takes us closer and closer to our room, my stomach gets tighter with nerves and my heart races at an uncontrollable rate. The door slides open, and Ben grabs our bags and tips the bellhop.
“I got it from here, thank you.” I gulp when his hand takes mine. “Don’t be scared. Breathe, angel.” Sensing my uneasiness at the threshold of the closed door, he tries to calm me. Swinging the door open, he sets the bags down inside, freeing up his hands so he can scoop me up. I yelp and giggle, my feet dangling and my arms around his neck. “Now come on.”
Once in the hotel room, he places me back on my feet, and I scan the crisp white and silver accents adorning the room. The bed is a silver four-poster with a bright white duvet paired nicely with gray and white pillows that accentuate the bed. Walking over to the window, I look at the scenery. The ocean water is dark. The floor-to-ceiling windows in the presidential suite have the clearest view of Seattle.
All the details, from the fireplace to the mirrored nightstands topped with stunning silver lamps, are riddled with a sense of romance.
“What do you think, angel?” Ben whispers behind me, his hands on my shoulders rubbing little circles.
“Ben, this is beautiful. You didn’t have to spend this much on me,” I admit, looking to the left of me, where the tiny kitchen and dining area are located.
“I only get one night with my wife before I go back on tour. I want tonight and tomorrow morning to be the best we’ve ever had.” I blush, turning around and banding my arms around his neck, my body extending on the tips of my toes to meet his bent frame for a kiss.
Dancing his tongue against the seam of my lips, he asks for entrance, and I grant it without hesitation. My stomach is coiling in knots, my fear building at the same time as my arousal—yearning with pure lust for my husband.
We really did it; we got married and declared our love to one another. A young love, deep and running into a passionate storm.
“Mmm, what do you want to do? We can go to dinner, or we can order room service and watch a movie?” He breaks our connection, and I cry at the loss. As he peers down at me with his hungry eyes, my skin prickles. His hands roam my body aimlessly.
My mind is hyperaware of what I want. I’ve waited for this since I knew what wanting a touch was. I don’t want to wait anymore, but I feel reserved. I’ve never done this before; how do I even start? Biting my lip, I drop my eyes to the buttons of his dress shirt. We’ve been intimate before, but this is—different.
“Maybe we could . . .” I trail off, unbuttoning the first button slowly, my eyes traveling up as I undo each one. I keep going until I am under his tie. I look right at him then.
His throat bobs, and he eyes me hungrily. I mimic that look, wanting him badly, his touch so close I can almost taste it.
“Maybe we could make love now.” I blush, pushing through my wall of insecurities. He smirks at me, and I’m not sure if he’s laughing at my blatant lack of experience or if he likes that idea. Either way, I’m growing more nervous with each passing second.
“Sorry, I probably sound stupid. I’m really scared . . .” I trail off, starting to button his shirt back up. I’m sure spending tonight with a virgin isn’t going to be fun for him with all his experience.
“Baby, don’t be scared. I want to make love to you, but I only want to if you’re ready. I don’t want to rush you.”
“Ben, we got married after two weeks of knowing each other. I think it’s safe to say you aren’t rushing me,” I joke, stepping back, completely out of my element.
“Hey, why are you scared? What’s going on in there?” He kneels in front of the bed as I sit. I’m not even sure what’s going on in here. I’m all over the place. I’m elated and in love, terrified and insecure, ready to give myself but unsure how to. I’m not ready to be ready, but oh, am I ready.
“I want you, but I don’t know how. I’m scared . . .”
“You’re scared of me?” he questions, and I cradle his face gently.
“No, no, not that. Ben, you’ve had tons of women, more than I care to think about, and I don’t want to be compared or feel subpar to the best you’ve had.” Once I say how I’m feeling out loud, I feel less heavy. I’m still a young woman trying to find the right way to womanhood.
“Sadie, I don’t want anyone but you. I married you so I could claim that forever. Before you was nothing compared to what it’s going to be like with you.” My eyes pivot back and forth quickly over his face.
“You’ll be patient with my inexperience?” I gulp nervously.
“Sadie, I don’t like this. I fucking hate when you’re insecure. You’re more than exceptional: you’re the perfect aphrodisiac. You aren’t inexperienced. You are innocent, and that’s mine now,” he tells me, his face still wedged between my hands, his brown eyes lusting over me. I feel that look deep in my soul.
“Okay.” I nod. It’s truly amazing how just a few words from him can reset me and build me up. Tonight, he is choosing me; today he chose me forever. Ben is a man who does what he wants and doesn’t care who he leaves hurt in his wake, so if he really didn’t want me, all of me, he would never have asked me to marry him.
“Do you trust me?”
“Of course, more than anyone.”
“Good.” He stands over me, removing his tie and the rest of his shirt. His lean abs bare themselves to me, and I gush on the inside, loving his tall, lean rock star body.
“Undo my belt, baby.” With trembling hands, I take hold of the buckle. I watch him watch me as I undo his belt clumsily. “Don’t be shy; don’t be afraid. It’s you and me, Sadie,” he whispers, his thumb grazing my cheek.
Nodding, I undo his belt, the button, then the zipper. His boxer briefs show slightly, and I gulp. He is starting to grow under my hungry gaze.
“Ben, wait. Um, can I go freshen up real quick?” My voice is a hushed tremble on a rushed breath.
“You still with me?” Pulling me from the bed, he brings me flush against him.
“Yes, I am.”
“We are on your time. You call the shots, Sadie. You are in charge.” He hands over the power to me, and I ease up a bit.
“Thank you.” I kiss his chest and walk away slowly, looking up at him before I slide the frosted glass door shut. He smiles and nods, and that damn smile grips my heart. Finally, alone in the bathroom, I release a deep breath and grab the lip of the sink. I may actually puke. What do I do now? My first thought goes to what to wear. I have no lingerie. I don’t have anything sexy other than a basic pair of undergarments. Is that really a thing? Wearing lingerie on your wedding night? Oh lord, I am too in my head.
“Crap, crap, crap.” Leaning toward the mirror, I straighten my arms and grip the sink tighter. Looking at my reflection, I scold myself. “Don’t be afraid. Be who Ben makes you want to be. Confident, Sadie. Be confident.” I talk myself off the ledge a little bit.
I can’t seem to properly wrap my head around anything for a multitude of reasons. I’m afraid of myself and my lack of ability to please Ben. Pile that on my insecurities and you get a full-fledged panic attack. But I have nowhere to run, and I can’t turn back now, nor do I want to, so I need to buck up and get on with it. This is the moment where I become a new version of myself—a better one. With one more deep breath, I blink tight and release the sink from my now red hands. I strip down to nothing. I take off the dress, my panties, my strapless bra. Everything. My flesh is his for the taking. No barriers. He has seen it before, but somehow this feels like the most vulnerable way he could ever see me.
I’m sure this means more to me than it does to Ben, because he has had his first time. I’m in love, and it’s different when it’s your first time.
I peer out and see him looking out the windows. “Ben?”
“Hmm, what’s up, angel?” He turns his attention back to me, seeing only my head. He sits up on the edge of the bed. Sensing my hesitation, he guides me—thank God, because I have no idea what I’m doing here. “Come here.” He signals me with his words and a small flick of his fingers.
Nodding, I step out, my hands in knots covering my most intimate parts. I haven’t brought my eyes up from the floor when I hear him groan.
“Fuck.” Worried, I look up, still using one arm to cover my chest and the other to safeguard my bottom half. He’s grinning.
“What?” I ask frantically. He stands quickly, reaching me with only four strides; I purposely count them as a way to distract myself. I back into the wall next to the bathroom, keeping myself covered. Did I do this all wrong? Sure, Ben has seen me naked, but was he hoping for me to be wearing something sexy?
“Are you kidding me?”
I’m such an idiot. “I’m sorry, I didn’t have time to buy anything.” I wanted to make this special, but I don’t know what that would entail.
“Are you kidding me, Sadie? You look like an angel. Like mine. You bring me to my knees with your body, but it’s different now.”
“How? Is there something wrong?” My throat feels like it’s going to come out of my mouth, and my stomach is in coils of nerves. I am a curvy woman, not made like the models that he is used to, and for the first time I feel wary and insecure.
“No. It’s because now, I’ve made it mine. Forever.” With that, his grin fades, and I realize what I saw on his face was joy, not laughter. He grabs my wrist, rips my hands from my body, and drops to his knees. I stand, vulnerable.
“Look at these legs.” His hands trail from my ankles up to the apex of my thighs. “Look at this beautiful pussy, made for only me.” His lips come down on me, kissing me right over my patch of hair.
I jolt back harder against the wall, the action so intimate I can’t help it. Each time he does this, I nearly pass out. It feels so good. Every time, it feels brand new. Will it always be like this?
“These hips, they were made to fit my hands.” He grips my hips then squeezes my ass. “This stomach, curvy and feminine, this belly button.” He licks the skin, and I watch, completely removed from reality. I want to be made a woman, a wife who gives pleasure to her soul mate—her husband.
“That feels good,” I moan, my hands digging in his hair as his tongue lashes against my skin.
“Your breasts fit perfectly in my hands. Look at that, Sadie.” He cups my breast in one hand as the other massages my hip. That’s when I feel that confidence I’ve been craving like a drug.
“Kiss me.” I lick my dry lips.
“Where?”
“Everywhere.”
“Forever, angel.” With no more words, he finishes undressing, removing any barrier between us. Stripped to nothing, he lays me down on the sea of blankets.
“My everything laid under me, surrounded in white. My virgin. My wife,” he whispers, his hand running up and down his shaft. He’s larger than average. He’s at least nine inches and thick. I know this is going to hurt me.
“Relax, it’s you and me, Sadie. I promise to take care of you.”
“I trust you.”
“Open your pretty little legs,” he tells me, and I obey.
“Like this?” I seek guidance, planting my feet shoulder-width apart and spreading my knees.
“Yes, just like that.” He looks me over, spending time on each part of my body. Dropping to his knees, he grabs my hips and drags me to the edge of the bed, my legs still bent as he pulls me lazily to him.
“So beautiful,” he murmurs. I lift my head as far as I can and watch him descend on me.
“Oh! Oh my god!” I cry, the velvet feel of his tongue spreading my lips and circling my clit, catapulting me off the bed.
“Say my name, baby,” he moans into my core, his thick finger slowly entering me. I writhe, the sensation slightly uncomfortable yet incredible.
“Ben, Ben!” He increases his speed on my clit, licking and sucking hard, alternating the action enough to keep me chasing the tingle that builds in my stomach. The room feels dark; only a small tunnel of light filters through my vision. Adding a second finger and more pressure on my clit, he reaches his tattooed arm up to grab my breast.
“Ben, it feels different,” I admit, unafraid. Earlier I had the tingle, but this time, it’s more intense, and my center feels more sensitive than before.
“That’s good. Chase it, baby, chase that feeling and come on my tongue.” Gripping his hair, I move my hips in tandem with his tongue, and I let myself feel everything. He pinches my nipple, the pain adding to the pleasure on my clit, and I scream.
“Ben! Right there!” I scream out, my stomach tightening and my core shaking. Peering down, I see my orgasm coating his nose and mouth. Is that normal? I ride out the orgasm, my toes curling and my fingers going numb in the sheet. That feeling was unbelievable; I swear I floated from my body. “Oh . . .” I slow my hips, and his fingers draw lazy circles around my pulsing entrance. Lifting his face a bit, he wipes his mouth against my thigh.
“So good. Such a good little wife.” I shake my head, still dazed.
He climbs up my body, kissing my skin as he goes. Stopping on my breast, he licks around my hard nipple. I feel his cock against my clit, and my whole body lights a new flame.
Lying beside me, he runs his large, strong hands down my stomach, squeezing and releasing the extra flesh. His fingers reach my pelvic bone, and he rubs more circles around my swollen clit.
“You’re beautiful, Sadie. I’m never going to be able to quit you,” he admits, our lips barely touching. Reaching my hands up in his hair, I make direct eye contact with him. We fall silent for a moment as he circles my clit before moving down to my entrance.
“We can’t quit now, it’s legal, baby,” I tease.
“It is. You are mine. Come again like a good wife would for her husband.” My eyes roll back the second he starts to relentlessly rub my clit.
* * *
I run my hand over his cock as I come down from another high, breathing heavily as my fingers touch the warm skin of the smooth, pronounced head. This is the first time I have touched him this way. I picture what it will feel like when he’s inside me, and I quiver from head to toe. I get the hype now; I understand why people can’t resist this temptation. I’ve only had a glimpse, a small taste, and I’m starving for the entire meal.
“I want you. Let me have you?” Climbing between my legs, he settles himself on his calves, his hands running up and down my thighs.
“Is it going to hurt?” I mumble in fear.
“Yes, it will, but I promise I’ll go slow. I’ll take care of you, angel.” I trust him. I don’t know what kind of lover my husband will be yet, but in a few seconds I will. In a few short moments, I will be a woman—his woman.
“Relax. Deep breaths.” He kneads my sides first then trails his hands up the center of my stomach and over my breasts, squeezing and pinching as he goes. The sensation has me even more wet. I hope that and the two explosive orgasms I’ve had will help with the pain.
I nod, staring up into his brown eyes. “Okay.” He nods with me. He maneuvers himself between my legs, his cock sliding up and down my sensitive clit, increasing my desire tenfold. Hovering above me on his extended arms, he never breaks eye contact with me.
“You need to talk to me, Sadie. Tell me if it’s too much so I can take care of you, okay?” I place my hands on his face, submitting to him completely and putting all the trust I have in his hands.
“I promise.” My nerves grow wild, feelings raging inside me—fear, excitement, and love. I feel every emotion lying under my husband.
Reaching between us, he breaks our eye contact for a moment, his head tilting down but staying in my hands. I follow his gaze and watch him grab his cock. He takes it and runs it up and down my slit. Wetting his tip, he coats himself in my arousal, and I whimper. It feels unbelievably good.
With one more look between us, he lines himself up at my entrance. Focusing in on me, he drops his mouth open and slides his wide head inside me, pushing me open, and I can’t help but cry out. Oh my god, that’s painful.
“Ow, Ben!” I try to slide out from underneath him to stop the burning pain that starts from my core and disperses through my entire bottom half.
“Angel, you need to relax. I haven’t even taken your virginity. I need you to breathe and relax your body.” He peppers my face with kisses. Taking one of my hands, he extends it above my head and digs it into the bed with his weight.
“Please keep going.” Without words, he enters me more.
“Fuck, Sadie!” He curses my name, and I feel fuller; he has to be all the way in. I feel wet tears roll down the sides of my face and disappear into my hair. I hate that I’m crying, but the pinching pain and the sting is nearly unbearable.
“I’m there. This is going to hurt, baby. Can you breathe with me?” Nodding, I brace myself, doing my best to relax. With one more hard thrust, I feel my insides burn, filled past the point of return.
“Ahh!” I scream out, crying a little more.
“Shh, that was so good, angel, you’re there. Such a good girl.” I wish I could feel anything but the pain right now. Staying still, he doesn’t move inside me, giving me a moment to adjust. I look up into his longing eyes and see his guilt. He drops his head and gently laps up my tears with his tongue.
“I’m sorry. I know it doesn’t feel good, but it will. Relax, angel, and let me help you.”
“I can’t, it hurts too much to relax.” I’ve surpassed feeling like a complete idiot. This is mortifying because I don’t know what I’m doing. It’s more embarrassing that I can’t even let my husband make love to me without crying like this. I tuck my head in shame. Undoubtedly, the connection feels amazing, and I want to enjoy each moment, but the pain is so prominent that I can’t focus.
“Want me to stop?” He kisses my lips, lingering for a moment. There is a long debate in my mind. No. That’s not what I want. My body does, because she is struggling to take the man that he is. But my heart—she knows better. She is louder.
“No, I want this, I do. But I need you to make it feel better.”
“It will. God, look at you.” Ben looks me over, and I smile sweetly at him. There is adoration and appreciation for me in his gaze. I wish I could take a picture of this moment and never forget that exact look. “You belong in my fucking soul.” He lets out a moan, and those words ignite my insides, making me painfully but deliciously press upward against his cock. I focus on our connection—we’re consumed with one another.
“I fell for your heart first, then for your words. It was all-consuming and reckless. I fell in love backward, and now I’m falling headfirst into your depths,” I confess.
“I was never made to get it right, but somehow I did.” He starts to increase the pace of his thrusts. On the borderline of pain and pleasure, I writhe under him, his cock inside me filling me. “Sadie, you’re mine. Every damn inch,” he whispers, his eyes on me the entire time. Using his hand, he explores my curves, spending time on my breasts and hips, then, lifting my thigh, he finds the perfect pace. The feeling of pain begins to slowly dissipate. Pleasure is taking over. A sheen of sweat covers our bodies, and the room feels hot. It’s a strange, almost abstract feeling being so completely connected to someone. Not only are we physically connected, we’re emotionally in tune to the point where I only see, feel, hear, and want Ben, as he wants me.
This is what love is. It’s the invincible feeling that you always chase. The desire that even the littlest things they do can bring. The way you feel you are no longer an individual but a part of someone else. Ben and I are extensions of each other; where he ends is where I begin, and that alone is inconceivable. I’ll never be able to find enough words to do this feeling justice.
“I love you,” I repeat. All the things I feel, I want him to feel too.
“I love you, too, Mrs. Cooper.” He winks and drives his hips home, thrusting into me with blunt force.
“Ahh! Baby!” I scream out, my back leaving the bed and my eyes closing.
“You like that? My pretty baby likes it rough?” I blush.
“Ben . . .”
“Don’t blush. This is real, so damn real.” He groans, sliding in and out slowly this time, altering his thrust. My legs are going numb with the intense sensation, and I try to stay focused, but it’s impossible with his skillful hips and dirty words.
“Make me come. I want to feel it for the first time with you inside me.”
“Come on my cock, let it go.” Leaning up, he grabs my hips and starts to slam into me without missing a beat.
“Look at your damn body, Sadie. Fuck, you’re a goddess.” I reach up and grab my breasts. “Dirty little angel. Like that, squeeze your tits like I like it, baby.”
“Oh my god!”
“No, baby, it’s Ben.” He laughs, taking one hand from my hip to graze the back of his middle knuckle against my clit, and with that, I orgasm without warning. The build was so fast, I didn’t have enough time to prepare myself. “I’m ruined because of you—fucking addicted.”
I feel my orgasm from my head to the tips of my curled toes.
“Shit!” Before I’ve even come down, he pulls out, and I cry out.
“What, baby?” I ask. My breathing is labored, and my eyes are fuzzy. I try to get him back.
“I didn’t wear a condom. I need to come, baby, can I come on your stomach?” he asks, stroking himself.
Biting my lip, I shake my head. “No, come in me. I’m not ovulating, it’s okay.”
I am not on birth control, but being in the medical field and always wanting to be prepared for my menstrual cycle, I’m a counter.
“Fuck, are you sure, angel?” he questions, but before I can even answer, he enters me again.
“I’m positive.”
“Fuck, lay back, let me see that body, Sadie.” I fall back down as his hand grips my stomach, and his thrusts become choppy. Within seconds, he groans, throwing his head back and letting my name slip past his lips.
I bite my lip, watching him orgasm. Seeing it is insanely raw. I don’t know how to explain it. My stomach warms as his hot spurts of come shoot into me, leaving me in a coil of butterflies.
Today I became Mrs. Ben Cooper, and for the first time, I felt the touch of true love.
Everything that happened today, even the heartbreak, will be worth it, because now is perfect.