Chapter 8
EIGHT
Heath
I don’t know what came over me, but the thought of him finding a collaborator, someone to fuck him for the cameras made my stomach roil. I don’t want to spend too much time thinking about that or why I care.
I have no right to feel like I’m being cheated on.
This is his job. And I’m nothing more to him than a man he sucks off…occasionally.
And what’s even more complicated is that I’m not a camboy. But, right now, as long as he keeps my face off the video, I can give him this.
I can stave off that need to find someone to fuck him for a little longer and give his fans what they want.
Leo nearly trips coming to stand in front of me and I catch him, my hands digging into his lean hips before spinning him around, catching sight of us on his camera. No one can see my face, just everything from the neck down .
My hand drags his shirt up and off before moving to his pants, tugging them down low enough to expose his cock for the camera.
Leo is panting now, one of his hands on my forearm, the other twisted up around my neck, his fingers tangling in my hair at the base of my neck.
A moan slips from him when my lubed hand hits his dick, stroking down the long length slowly.
I’ve never touched another guy’s dick until him, never wanted to.
The first time it was impatience that drew me to him.
Now it’s jealousy.
I’m not going to deny that. I never did want anyone touching what was mine. And right now, he feels like mine.
Leo leans into me further, his hips arching up, his face turning into my neck as he moans. I don’t think it’s performative, can feel the way his muscles are contracting against my hand, can feel the tremble burrow into my chest as I continue to stroke him.
“Faster,” he says, but it only makes me move slower, wanting to draw this out.
He lets out a whimper and nips at my chin, making me huff a small laugh.
“You’re teasing me.”
“Just like you did with me earlier.”
“That’s because you tasted good. I didn’t want this to end.”
“This is what you get,” I say and Leo nearly whines as I continue to drag out the torture, his balls tightening, his cock turning a dark, angry red.
He’s fucking up into my fist, nearly breathless, and the fact that I can do this to him, can make him almost mindless with lust makes me fucking horny.
I never had this with Lana.
It was always so much work.
But Leo is into it. And if I’m honest with myself, I’ve never been interested in sex like this before. I’ve never wanted so desperately to see a partner come. To take them apart. To know that I’m doing that to them.
“Please. Please. Please ,” he begs and I move my fist faster, my free hand dragging down his chest to his balls, tugging on them roughly, making him cry out, his body jerking in my arms. His cum spills from his cock, wave after wave until he’s sagging against me, his body shaking and limp.
“Oh my god,” he moans and then turns his face into my neck and nuzzles his nose against my skin. “So damn good.”
“Yeah?” I ask, feeling my hard dick press against his ass. He wiggles against it and I let out a huff.
“Yeah, so hot. So fucking hot.”
My fingers leave him and he takes a wobbly step forward, turning the camera off and meeting my gaze.
“Want me to…” he asks, waving toward my crotch.
I shake my head and wipe my hands clean as I do so.
It’s tempting. I can’t lie. But also…I can’t help but think about what it would be like to push inside of him. Not his mouth, but his tight ass. To finally know what it would be like to sink inside of his willing body. He wouldn’t just be lying there, bored and unbothered. He’d be hot for it, writhing. He’d want it so much. He’d beg for me to fuck him harder. So hard it would rattle the desk, the chair, the entire room.
“No, I’m good.” My voice comes out strangled and rough.
We stand there, staring at each other and he shakes his head. “I won’t put you in it…the video I mean. I won’t put you in anything.”
“I know.”
He looks nervous as he pulls his pants on and tugs his shirt over his head. It’s on backwards and for a moment I realize how adorable he truly is.
“Want to grab a hot chocolate with me?” I ask and Leo’s eyes widen, his lips parting in surprise. I stare at those lips a little too long.
For some reason, I want to taste them.
“Fuck yeah. I mean. Yes. Totally. Totally cool, man. ”
I can’t help thinking about how enthusiastic he is just to go out for hot chocolate. I like it. A whole lot. “Let’s clean up and head out?”
He nods and then nearly runs into me as we walk to my bathroom.
“Sorry, just…haven’t come that hard in ages. I think my brain is melted.” I puff up a little from that. I mean, he does this for a living and I may be the most boring person on earth. And yet, his brain is melted.
I melted his mind.
I let out a small laugh and he grins at me as we wash our hands.
“Glad to be of service.”
“So much service. The best service. You should open a catering service.”
“A hand job one?”
He giggles and then scoffs when he sees himself in the mirror.
“Honestly, Heath. Let me know my shirt is on backwards, please.”
“It’s cute that its on the wrong way.”
“I’m not cute. I’m sexy.”
He is…he so fucking is.
“Ready?” I ask and he nods, linking his arm with mine as we traverse the hallway, his free hand pushing the cart haphazardly. But he makes no attempt to extricate himself from me. He doesn’t let go until we’re in the coffee shop and ordering our drinks.
Then we sit there for a while, just chatting about everything and nothing, my mind expanding with knowledge of him, how he was raised by a single mom, how he was bullied in high school, how it drove his self confidence. And he spends a lot of time telling me about his roommate and the neighbor next door. I try and squash the jealousy for how fondly he speaks of Asher, rationalizing that they’re good friends, but it’s hard.
It’s so fucking hard when I feel like this.
“I’d like you to meet him,” Leo says, licking a finger that had some whipped cream on the tip. It makes me shift on my seat, seeing the way his tongue peeks out. Remembering how that tongue felt on my dick.
“I can meet him,” I say and he wiggles in his seat.
“Oh, really? I mean, you don’t have to but I’ve talked about you enough…”
My eyes widen slightly at that. No one ever talks about me. Except my mom when she gossips.
“You have?”
“Of course.”
He grins at me and then sighs. “I mean, you can come over tomorrow, if you want. Asher is home around three. But our apartment is pretty embarrassing. I mean, it’s like literally falling apart, so maybe that wouldn’t be the best thing.”
“I can meet you wherever. Since I’ve been working late, we can meet up for drinks.”
“Drinks. Love that for all of us.”
He grins at me and I find my lips curling up. I love this for me, too.
The nerves have set in. Meeting Leo’s roommate feels significant. It doesn’t help that Lana is blowing up my phone. Almost as if she can feel how happy I am and wants to sabotage it. The barrage of texts and voicemails leave me feeling frazzled. And of course, she’s managed to get my parents involved as well.
The ominous voice note from my mother is sitting on my phone. I don’t know if I even want to listen to it.
I may just delete it.
That’s what Selena would tell me to do.
But for some reason, I leave it on there, letting it torture me slowly. I’ve never been very good at defying my parents. She’s the rebel. Not me.
By the time I’m off to meet Leo, I’m running late, my hair a mess, my shirt wrinkled from twisting it around my finger. I took my tie off entirely. I don’t even know if my fly is zipped.
I glance down and check it as I walk into the small cafe. Thankfully it’s zipped shut, no dick to be seen. I smile to myself thinking about how Leo wouldn’t even care if it was down. He wouldn’t be embarrassed by my disheveled appearance and tell me I’ll never get anywhere in life because of it. To go change and make myself more presentable.
I glance around the quaint place. It’s quiet in here, an odd time to be eating or meeting for drinks. But I see Leo and Asher almost immediately, tucked together in the corner, their lips turned up as they laugh, their hands on the drinks in front of them.
When I approach, they turn to look at me and I see Leo’s cheeks flush in appreciation as Asher cocks his head and analyzes me.
It makes me nervous, my hand running through my messy hair as I fumble with my chair. I feel a bit of shame for not making sure I look immaculate before meeting his friend—but maybe I like getting a little messy. Maybe that’s why I’m so damn drawn to Leo. I don’t have to worry about things like that all the time. He just lets me be who I am in that moment.
“Hey, sorry I’m late.”
“It’s okay,” Leo says and then waves his hand around Asher’s face. “This is Ash. Asher. My roommate. I’ve told you about him.”
“Hey there,” he says and extends his hand. I take it and he squeezes a little too roughly, making me wince.
Leo rolls his eyes as he swats at Asher with a menu.
“Leave him alone. We’re just friends,” he says and then mouths an apology to me.
I swallow and take a seat, picking up the menu from the sticky table and glancing down at it. Although I’m not sure I like those words coming from Leo. Just friends . Does that mean Asher is jealous of the two of us? Does Leo need him to think we’re just friends? I mean, I know we are, in a way, but are they?
“You look frazzled,” Leo whispers. “Are you okay? ”
I really need to get it together. “Just a long day,” I reply as I glance down at the menu again. “Maybe I’ll have that early drink.”
“Oh you can totally do that. I’m doing that,” Leo replies and then grins at me, almost as if he knows something secret about me. Which, technically he does.
He knows all the secrets. Like the fact that I enjoy him getting on his knees and sucking my cock.
“Why does he look like that?” Asher asks about me.
Leo blushes. I see it on his cheeks and my heart flutters. It’s far too adorable. He just shrugs and looks over his menu, but I can feel Asher’s eyes on me. “I was just thinking about your roommate. Seems Leo makes me smile,” I answer honestly.
Leo’s eyes widen and Asher cocks an eyebrow at me.
“I like making you…” Leo looks slightly coy, “ Smile. ”
Asher rolls his eyes at that innuendo and snorts. “Be more subtle. Honestly, I don’t need more of an imagination than I already have.” But then he grins. He doesn’t look at all jealous. He doesn’t look disturbed by the way Leo says smile as if it actually means come my brains out .
“Um, so Leo says you’re just roommates?” I blurt out. “You two…you haven’t…” Jesus, be more ridiculous why don’t you Heath.
They both laugh, but it isn’t cruel and mocking. They obviously think the idea is absolutely silly. Probably more so with how I delivered it versus what I was actually asking.
Asher answers quickly, “No. Nothing between us. Anything with him would be like fucking a brother and that’s not my thing. Never dabbled in extreme taboo.”
Leo chuckles at that, tossing a sugar packet at his friend. “Yeah, Heath. We’re roommates. And friends. Never more than that.” He holds my eyes now, his gaze serious like he wants me to know that. Like he needs me to know that.
I hate that I’m a weak man, needing to know this in order to breathe easy, but I did. I don’t like the idea of Leo collaborating with anyone else and I don’t like the idea of him and his roommate being anything more than just friends.
A weird possession of him settles somewhere in my chest. I haven’t known him very long, but I still feel like I have.
Like he’s mine.
What does any of this mean? I’ve never felt so lost and yet settled in my entire life. I never felt this way with Lana. I don’t know why, but Leo makes something inside of me satisfied, like curling up beside a warm fire with a mug of hot cocoa. Something about him is just cozy. Just right.
As I think that, the waiter comes up and takes our orders and I watch as Leo changes his mind three times before settling on a strawberry margarita and some nachos. Asher orders a burger and I’m left just placing an order for my usual Gin and Tonic.
“So Heath, since we’re here, tell me some fun facts about yourself,” Asher says and then places his chin in his palm and waits for me to answer.
For some reason that makes me feel like I’m in an interview. I never was good at those. It’s why I run my own company. I never had to sit through many because of it.
“Well, I own a company,” I say, wishing my drink would arrive sooner than later.
“Yes, the one that Leo cleans for. Do you enjoy it? Running a company?”
“It’s fine, I guess. It’s a job and it pays the bills.”
“Yes, but you have to manage people. How is that?”
Leo snorts, his fingers constantly fiddling with the sugar packets. He’s rearranging them by color and then sticking them back in the small container. “Geez, Asher, are you like interviewing him or something?”
“Or something. Listen, I want to get to know the guy you’ve been blathering on and on about all day and night.”
My cheeks redden and Leo looks like he’s about to sink into his chair and disappear forever .
“I don’t talk about you that much.”
“Oh he does. Heath this and Heath that. I basically know everything about you. From his perspective, that is. Now, go on. How is being the big boss?”
I peer over at Leo and he shrugs, as if he’s given up on controlling his friend.
“I do it well. People usually need direction and I don’t mind giving it.”
Asher sighs. “Do you do that in the bedroom as well?”
Leo smacks him upside the head with a spoon.
“Ow!”
“You don’t get to ask him that. If you think you can, then I’ll make sure to ask Jack these things as well.”
“Oh, don’t give Jack any ideas.”
“Who is Jack?” I ask and before Asher can open his mouth Leo blurts, “Our murderous neighbor who Asher is obsessed with.”
“He’s not a murderer. He’s just mysterious.”
“How do you know he’s not a murderer?” I ask and Leo giggles.
“He was sawing things in the middle of the night and there was lots of banging, not the sexy kind. The kind where you imagine him stuffing a body into a barrel. But after we fell through the wall?—”
My eyebrows rise at that.
“—well, we realized he’s just handy. He’s a woodworker. He’s renovating his shitty apartment.”
“How did you fall through the wall?”
“We were wrestling and the wall caved in when we leaned against it,” Leo says and my lips turn down.
“That’s not safe. Walls shouldn’t cave in if you lean on them.”
“Yes, well, not everyone can be rich like you and have sturdy walls and ceilings,” Asher replies and Leo blushes, looking almost ashamed. He shouldn’t feel bad about this, not at all.
“Have you contacted your landlord about this?”
Leo snorts. “You mean the criminal we send our wages to? Yes, but he isn’t bothered by it and I think Asher couldn’t care less about the wall being missing. Now he has unfettered access to sexy murder man.”
Asher sighs. “I mean it’s partially true. He does walk around without his shirt on a lot.”
“You should contact the local housing authority…” I begin, but Leo shakes his head.
“I didn’t tell you so you could fix it for us. I can take care of this myself.” He reaches out and squeezes my hand before pulling away. “I know you want to make it better, but you’re not my boss. Not here anyways.”
“But a boss in the bedroom, am I right?” Asher asks and waggles his eyebrows.
These guys are fucking ridiculous and my lips turn up. “Fair enough. I’ll let it go.”
It’s a small white lie. I won’t let it go entirely. I’ll figure out a way to make sure that they have a wall put up and any other kind of fixes that need to be done to their shitty apartment. Without them knowing, obviously.
“And I’m not a boss in the bedroom. I don’t mind being told what to do.”
Leo’s cheeks positively flame and he fans himself, making me smirk. Yeah, think about that, Leo.
Think about the ways that you can boss me around while you make me cum.
That though has my dick perking up and I shift a littler farther under the table as my drink finally appears. I watch as Leo puts those pink lips to his glass and takes a sip, his tongue peeking out and wetting his mouth. The mouth that will surely be bright red when he’s done.
I sip at my double gin and tonic and lean back, letting my shoulders relax, even though other parts of me aren’t relaxing. At all.
I’ve never thought of myself as bisexual or into men at all, but for some reason Leo does it for me. In ways Lana never had. Seems my dick agrees as well .
I imagine him on his knees in front of me right now, smelling like strawberry, those red lips stretched around my cock and I take another large sip of my drink.
“Any other things you want to tell us?” Asher says and Leo grins against the glass of his margarita. “What do you do for fun? What’s your favorite color? Sex position?”
I choke on that last one and as I’m coughing, Leo grins and shakes his head.
“I should have never invited you Asher, and honestly I’m getting you back for that.”
Asher looks unbothered and when my eyes stop watering and I catch my breath I answer. “I like to go on walks, work out and read. My favorite color is blue, and sex position? I like to see the person’s face.”
“Oh, how romantic,” Asher says with a sigh and slurps at his drink. “I find most men I go for like to flip me over and fuck my ass. They don’t like my face much.”
“You date assholes, that’s why,” Leo chimes in.
“True. I have a thing for bad boys.”
“Hence the serial killer neighbor,” Leo tells me with a wink.
I try to wink back, but I feel like I’m wincing.
“Do you have something in your eye? God, I hate it when that happens,” Asher says and then hands me an ice cube from his cup. “Put that on there.”
“What the hell? Don’t put that on your eye, Heath. That will make it hurt worse. There’s lemon in your drink, you dick.”
Asher stares down at his drink and shrugs. “Oh. Yeah. Probably not a good idea.”
Leo snorts and winks at me again. I don’t try to wink back. Apparently I’m unable to do this. I’ll have to practice when I’m all alone. Really get it down. Because Leo looks good doing it and I apparently look like I’m losing an eyeball.
“You should invite him over for a movie night or something,” Asher says and Leo shakes his head .
“I don’t think he’d want to come over to our place. We don’t even have a wall and there is a mushroom growing from the ceiling in our bathroom.”
“I wouldn’t mind,” I interject before he makes himself feel bad about his living situation. I never want him to feel less than because of it.
Leo peers over at me almost shyly. “Yeah?”
“Yeah. I wouldn’t mind. I haven’t watched a movie in a long time. And then maybe I can meet this neighbor.”
“Oh, Jack probably wouldn’t want to do a movie night,” Asher says quickly, but Leo perks up.
“Oh I think he would. It will be a double date.” His cheeks flame and then he shakes his head. “Not a date date, just a friendly hang out kind of date.”
“Yeah, I know what you mean,” I reply with a small smile. “Double not date sounds good. Let me know a day and time and I’ll see if I can make it.”
“Oh! Okay.”
Leo looks so fucking happy about this that it makes my chest expand happily.
When the food is brought over a few minutes later, I watch as they happily munch away, but my gaze tends to linger on Leo who is licking sour cream from the corner of his mouth. It makes my already lurid thoughts more vivid.
I imagine pulling him close, my fingers tangling in his blond hair, and kissing him.
“Stop eating those nachos like you’re eating ass,” Asher interjects, my thoughts of making out taking a sharp turn.
Leo makes a face at his friend. “But they’re delicious.”
“I bet they are. But it’s making me nauseous.”
Leo grins at him and then continues about his business, leaving me thinking about him between my cheeks and licking at my hole. It’s not something I’d ever thought I’d want, and something I’m still not sure I do, but fuck, it seems Leo is bringing things out of me. And I don’t even think he means to.
When we finally leave the small cafe, I’m feeling two parts horny and one part buzzed. I want him to walk me back to my office. I want to close the blinds and lock the door and set him on my desk.
I want to try different things with him.
All the different things.
I wouldn’t even be opposed to him filming it. But Leo doesn’t do any of that. He just pulls me into a side hug and squeezes my hand, leaving me feeling slightly bereft.
When he walks away with Asher by his side, he peers over his shoulder and smiles softly at me.
And I stand there watching them until they disappear from view.