Chapter 9
NINE
Leo
Okay, so let me be truthful for a moment. When Heath met Asher, he admittedly got a little possessive. And that’s never gotten me going before. That kind of behavior actually ended a couple of situationships in the past. They weren’t serious, but they were something . But any time the guy got jealous or possessive, I ended things.
But something’s different with Heath. Something I can’t quite figure out. Either way, I really, really like it. And I have zero explanation for why I’m allowing this behavior to slide this time. It’s probably because of the way he makes me feel, not to mention laugh and smile. And don’t get me started on the sex. I never in a million years thought he would touch my dick or let me suck him off. Ever.
I find myself craving it, thinking about it constantly, which means that while I’m in the car driving to go see my mom, my dick is hard. Seems I always have a boner these days because I’m constantly thinking about that delicious as fuck man.
It’s really not appropriate, but I can’t seem to change how I feel. I wonder if I can get him to fuck me? For the camera or off it. Honestly, I don’t really even care what we do at this point. I just want to feel that big dick sliding inside of my writhing body.
I want to feel him lose control as he pounds into me.
Well fuck, I’ve gone and done it now. My dick is so hard it hurts. I press the heel of my palm against it as I pull into my mother’s driveway. I really need to think bad thoughts. Sad. Horrible. Thoughts.
Dead donkeys, rotting pumpkins, forest fires. Tornados!
Fucking go down, stupid dick!
After a few moments of thinking about boogers and the log of poop I found under someone’s desk once—they covered it up with a napkin thinking that would make it disappear instead of disposing of it in a toilet like a normal person—my dick finally settles down enough for me to walk inside the house. This is the same place I lived in the last few years of high school. In fact, my walls are still decorated with old boy band posters with a few porn magazines stashed under the mattress. God, the memories I have here.
As a kid, my mom and I moved around a lot, living in unsafe and shitty apartments like the one I live in now. One time we even found a safe space at a shelter. But I’ll never forget the day my mom signed the papers to buy her very first home. She worked her ass off for this place. She saved and scrimped. And nothing has changed. She still works hard to keep the mortgage paid. I mean, she’s been late on a few payments, but she’s made it work and it’s still hers.
I can’t wait for her to be able to pay it off. Maybe I can eventually even help her with this so she can work less. Who knows? I just need better cash flow and then I can help her like she’s always helped me. It wasn’t always perfect, but we had each other.
With a small smile, I walk inside, finding the door unlocked which either means she just got home or she’s heading out soon. When I enter the kitchen, I see her buzzing around in her gas station polo and jeans. It’s one of her many jobs and one she’s had for quite some time. The same goes for the cleaning job and the pet sitting.
My mom is always on the go, always busy with something, but she’s young and has the energy for it. She had me when she was sixteen, but you wouldn’t know it by looking at her. Years of hard labor show in the premature gray hair on her head and the wrinkles on her face. But she’s no less beautiful and her internal optimism shines through.
“Oh, hi sweetie.” She finally stops moving around the kitchen, wiping her hands off on a towel and kissing me on the cheek. “I didn’t know you were stopping by.”
“Yeah, I thought I’d surprise you. And you know, you never actually answer my calls or texts.”
“I do too!”
I snort. “Yeah, okay.”
She swats at me playfully and I grin at her. She’s come a long way. She’s always been a great mother, but she was always so busy with work that she didn’t really have the time to be present. When I was eight, I had to learn how to cook and walk down to the bank to pay bills. By the time I turned ten, I was completely self sufficient.
I know I should be grateful because she worked hard so I wouldn’t be hungry or go without a roof over my head, but sometimes…dammit, sometimes I just wanted a mom. I wanted to just sit with her for longer than ten minutes without her falling asleep from sheer exhaustion on the couch.
“Is it okay I’ve stopped by?”
“Oh honey, you know you’re always welcome here.” She places a hand on my cheek, but before I can lean into the warm touch, she drops it and goes to the fridge, pulling out lunchmeat and veggies. “But I have to get my lunch made and head out for a shift.”
I deflate, taking a seat at the rickety table in the kitchen. “Gas station?”
She looks down at her shirt. “Oh shit. No. I just got back from there. I have to get to Mrs. Reed’s house. She needs a deep clean. That old biddy hates when I’m late, but she tips well and gives me candy. Oh dammit…”
She rushes out of the room and I go to the counter, making the sandwich so my mom doesn’t have to. It’s really not fair how much she works and that even after all the hours she puts in, she’s barely surviving. But then again, it is what it is. She’s not complaining, so why should I?
Maybe things would be different it my dad was around. Maybe he could have lightened the load she carries, but my suspicion is he would have actually made it worse. He’s not the most responsible guy and has spent more time in jail than out of it.
My mom comes back into the kitchen a few minutes later, freshly changed into a new shirt. She kisses my cheek as I place the sandwich in a baggie for her and toss in some other snacks just in case she’s still hungry after her lunch. “Thanks, baby. What would I do without you?”
Maybe without me, she would have been able to go to college and have an actual life, but I don’t say that out loud. I did once and she burst into tears. She’s told me, on more than one occasion, she never regretted having me, even if she was really young at the time. Even though she had to work her life away to afford a comfortable life for us.
She grabs the lunch box and slings it over her shoulder. “You going to stick around?”
There’s no point, but I just smile and nod. “Maybe for a bit.”
Maybe I’ll clean it up a bit, help her out so she can come home to less work.
“Great. Treat it like your home, because it is.” She singsongs on her way out the door and I flop back down in the chair at the kitchen table, glancing around at the small space.
“Yeah. Alright,” I sigh because this space is something my mom is proud of, but it never felt much like a home. It’s really just a house. It was always empty and lonely here. So much time was spent in my room, with the door locked, so I’d feel safe when she wasn’t there.
I want so much more than this. If I decide to have kids, I want to be present. I want to talk to them about their day when I pick them up from school. I want to make them dinner even if I’m mostly shit at cooking. I want to tuck them in and read to them .
I want them to know that they’re loved. No matter what.
I know dreaming about the future is me getting way ahead of myself. I may never have kids or meet anyone I want to have kids with, but if I do, things will be different.
I won’t just see them in passing.
I’m going to do better. I’m going to give them what I didn’t have.
I push myself up from the kitchen chair and get to work. When my mom gets home, she’ll have a clean floor, dusted bookshelves and folded laundry. It’s the least I can do after everything she’s done for me.
And when I leave, I set an envelope of cash on the kitchen table.
She’ll protest, but she should use it. Get her nails or hair done, something just for her.
When I leave, I feel a little bit better about stopping by. I didn’t get to visit with her, but I did help her out. In some small way.
“Leo, honestly, you don’t need to vacuum the floor again. It’s not going to look any better the third time.”
“But it looks like someone died in here!” I shout, almost frantic. Heath is going to be here in thirty minutes and I regret ever inviting him over. This place is a sty. I should walk around on all fours and snort.
“It’s really not that bad.”
“It is! When was the last time we cleaned?”
“You tell me Mr. Professional Cleaner Guy.”
I roll my eyes at that, but keep going. I’m starting to sweat and that’s not good because I want to smell nice for him once he arrives. I don’t want to look like a garbage can. I want him to see a nice, put together, sexy man!
“And that hole in the wall…it’s, oh god Jack, don’t crawl through the wall like a goblin!” I shout over the whine of the vacuum cleaner just before it starts to smoke and abruptly cuts off. Jack rights himself and brushes a hand down his black flannel shirt and points to the burning machine.
“Seems its on fire.”
“Oh fuck,” I cry and then grab the fire extinguisher from under the sink and spray it. By the time I’m done, the vacuum is kaput and our floor is now layered with white goop.
“Oh shit.”
“Looks like a circle jerk gone wrong,” Asher says very unhelpfully and the three of us all stare at it.
I swear I feel like I’m gonna cry. “I smell too. Like burned marshmallows.”
Jack must notice my watery eyes because he grabs a towel and points to the small hallway. “Go shower. I’ll clean this up.”
I could kiss him, not that I would. Asher might cut my lips off and I really need those. So I just walk to the bathroom and shower, jerking off for good measure so that my dick doesn’t leak too much while I’m sitting next to Heath on our saggy couch. Fuck, if that breaks in the middle of the movie, I’m quitting life for good.
When I finally reappear, pulling on a shirt, the floor is cleaned up and the vacuum is pleasantly gone. But the room still smells like fire and smoke.
“This is so embarrassing.”
“We could watch at my place. But my couch is really small,” Jack says and I sigh.
“We probably should. This is atrocious.”
Just as I say that, there’s a knock on the door and I nearly stumble to open it.
“Hi,” I breathe when I see Heath on the other side, looking delicious in his button-up shirt and nicely pressed pants. And he smells good too. Like a real man, not a campfire gone wrong.
He sniffs and his lips twitch, making my own fall into a frown.
“I know. It stinks in here. There was a mishap with the vacuum.”
I let him in and he takes a look around, his eyes lingering on the hole in the wall .
“I can hear you judging me in your mind.”
“No,” he says softly, his hand brushing against mine. “Not judging. Just…looking.”
I huff and to make matters worse, Jack doesn’t leave like a normal person. He just crawls back through the hole in the wall and gestures for us to come on over.
“I have cheese popcorn,” he says and I let out a muffled laugh.
“Yeah, his place is better, marginally, but there’s only one small couch.”
“We’ll just be cozy,” Asher says, moving through the hole in the wall and I slap a hand over my face.
“I’m pretty sure they don’t want this wall fixed. They’ve stopped using doors. They’re turning into ghosts.”
Heath glances at it and then shrugs, climbing through it, getting drywall on his shirt as he goes and I’m left staring at his ass in those pants as he bends over. God, it’s so nice, delicious even. The best view ever. Who needs the Grand Canyon when you have Heath’s butt around.
I shake my head and then follow them, stumbling forward when my foot gets caught on some of the wood frame in the wall. But strong hands catch me and I’m pulled into Heath’s arms. I may take advantage of this and lean a little too far into him, brushing my nose against his neck, inhaling him. Fuck, he smells good. That jack off session in the shower did nothing to help me. I’m hard as a rock.
And to make matters worse, when the movie starts, Heath and Jack are already on the loveseat, leaving me and Ash standing in front of them awkwardly.
“Come here,” Jack says, scooting over slightly, making room for a mere half of Asher next to him.
“I can sit on the floor,” he replies, but Jack shakes his head, pointing to that sliver of space between them. Asher sighs and then sinks between the both of them, ending up entirely on Jack’s lap in the process .
I can see his lips part, his cheeks reddening as Jack leans back almost contentedly, an arm slung casually around Asher’s waist.
My eyes meet Heath’s and he shrugs, widening his legs slightly. I’m not as big as him, but surely his legs will fall asleep with my ass on them for a few hours. I’m not light.
Heath glances down at his lap and then back up at me, those beautiful eyes hitting mine and I give in. I lower myself onto him and hold my breath while doing it. Because he’s so strong, capable and fuuuck , his hand is moving around my waist and tugging me closer. So much closer. My back hits his chest and I can feel his breath hit my neck. Goosebumps erupt across my skin and I shiver slightly.
“Do you have a blanket? Leo’s cold,” Heath says and a moment later a worn quilt appears. Heath places it over me, covering the two of us and goddamnit, my mind goes right to inappropriate touching. He could run his palm up my dick and no one would notice, especially not Asher who is snuggling into Jack’s big chest and practically purring. My best friend hasn’t hesitated in the least. He’s just made himself at home on Jack’s lap while I’m still sitting rigid on Heath’s, trying not to cum in my pants.
“Relax. We’re fine,” Heath says, his finger slipping up my shirt slightly and teasing my skin.
Oh god. This is terrible. The worst ever. If I come from just this, I will bury myself beneath the floorboards.
“I’m fine,” I hiss back. “I’m relaxed. Totally relaxed.”
“You’re as hard as a board.”
He has no idea. I could hammer nails. I could resurrect that wall without any tools. Just the one in my pants.
“I just don’t want to crush you.”
“I can handle it.” His entire hand is on my stomach now, playing with my happy trail while I bite my lip. Roughly. I need to feel something other than his hands on me. Eventually, I lean back and let my shoulders fall away from my ears, the bulge of my dick obvious through the thick quilt around my legs if anyone were looking for it.
But there’s nothing I can do about it, there’s no way its going down. So I just try to focus on the movie, but it’s difficult when I’m so horny and I can feel Heath is as well. His cock is pressed up against my ass as his hand continues to toy with me.
He has no idea what he’s doing to me. He has no fucking idea. Or maybe he does and he’s just that sadistic.
By the time the movie is over, I’m nearly vibrating with lust.
“I need water,” I rasp, moving toward Jack’s kitchen because there’s no way he’s moving from his spot. Not with Asher cuddled up on him like a cat. He will probably sit there the rest of the night if that’s what my roommate wants.
I grab a cup, fill it with tap water and glug it down, adjusting myself discreetly. Without warning, Heath appears behind me and water dribbles down my chin.
Oh fuck, I’m a hot mess. So so hot. And so is he. He looks flushed, his pupils blown wide. He looks like he could set the entire apartment alight.
He reaches out gently and wipes the water off my chin and that touch ignites something inside my belly. I lean toward him and he cups my cheek softly.
“Want to go back to my place?” I wheeze and his lips pull up in a small smile.
“Yes. I do.”