Chapter 4
4
MALLORY
A m I kissing well enough? Have I placed my hands correctly? Too much tongue? Too little tongue? Do I seem responsive? Are my lips too slack? Too stiff? Should I suck in my stomach? Should I stroke his chest? Should I...?
And then his tongue touches mine and all those questions disappear because there's nothing left except him and me and this kiss that simply won't end. Thank God. It's a great kiss. Maybe not the best I've ever had, after all, there was Kevin Thompson in my freshman year, and he was breathtaking. But this one is great too. A solid B, I'd say.
He nibbles on my lower lip. B plus. Definitely a B plus.
He gently caresses my cheeks, smiles against my mouth. Maybe even an A minus. That could be. Yes, definitely.
He presses his forehead against mine for a moment, both of us a little breathless, before he gently brushes the tip of his nose over mine and places a kiss on my upper lip. It could even be an A, when I think about it. Yes, definitely. This kiss is an A.
His hand moves to the back of my neck before he dives deep with his tongue, making me gasp. I grab his sweater, pull him closer. I wish every molecule of my body could touch his, want to feel as much of him as possible.
And this kiss...
Oh, this kiss is an A plus. With a star.
Who's Kevin again?
Brady. Brady. Brady.
That's the guy all others will have to measure up to from now on.
"That was... wow," I breathe as we finally separate after what feels like an eternity.
"You bet," he answers with a grin before giving me another gentle kiss on the mouth.
"Phew. Is it hot in here?" I fan myself.
"That's you."
"Wow. That was... just wow." No other words come to mind right now to eloquently describe what I just experienced.
"I'd like to see you again."
His words make me smile. "We'll see each other tomorrow."
"When you bring your car to the shop?"
"Exactly."
He brushes a strand of hair aside. "Can you come at noon? I can take a break then."
"Sure."
* * *
As Brady drives me to my car and waits until I get in, I take a deep breath. Damn. What was that? It was just so incredible that I still can't fully grasp it.
Who would have thought yesterday that the rude guy and I would be making out like teenagers in a bar? Well, if teenagers were allowed in bars, of course.
At the risk of repeating myself: What was that?
With a body and mind that I wouldn't exactly certify as fully functional at this moment, I drive home, stagger like in a trance into my apartment and drop onto the first seat I come across. Wow. That's really all I can say.
I take my phone out of my pocket, open the chat with my two best friends Carrie and Tina.
Mallory
Holy shit. I was kissed and I'm afraid I'm pregnant. That's how good it was.
Then I march into the bathroom, remove my makeup, put on my pajamas before going to bed with my phone in hand.
Carrie
That's not how it works, girl.
Tina
Who kissed you? :O
Carrie
Wow, that really sounded like you didn't think someone would ever kiss Mallory.
Tina
Nonsense, I want to know who he is because I haven't heard anything about a guy yet. Have you?
Carrie
Nobody ever tells me anything.
Tina
Yeah yeah, poor Carrie.
Carrie
It's true!
Tina
That's not true at all. I always find out everything last.
Carrie
Mallory, who always finds out everything last?
Mallory
I always find out everything last.
Carrie
That's not true at all.
Tina
No way. I have to agree with Carrie on this one.
Carrie
:P
Mallory
Be that as it may. But...
Carrie
GO ON!
Tina
Don't keep us in suspense! Who's the inseminator?
Mallory
Oh God, don't call him the inseminator!
Tina
You said he got you pregnant with a kiss.
Mallory
It wasn't just a kiss...
Carrie
Do we have to drag everything out of you?
Mallory
Okay, okay. Well, his name is Brady and he kisses so indescribably well.
Tina
Better than Kevin?
Mallory
Better than Kevin.
Carrie
:O :O :O
Tina
:O :O :O
Mallory
I know. It shocked me too, but it's true.
Carrie
And why don't we know anything about this Brady yet?
Mallory
Because I only met him yesterday.
Carrie
Why didn't you say anything yesterday?
Tina
There was enough time to tell us something!
Mallory
Okay, so... He's the mechanic I took Juan's car to yesterday. But he was totally rude and everything. So no reason to tell you anything. Today I met him at the gym and he asked if we wanted to get a drink. So we left right away and sat in a bar. I just got home and told you immediately. Promise.
Carrie
Hmm. What does he look like?
Tina
I'll accept that for now.
Mallory
He's tall, well-built, has brown hair and blue eyes. Really sexy. Truly.
Carrie
Sounds dreamy.
Tina
And then you made out in the bar? Or in the back seat? And should we maybe take a pregnancy test? :D
Mallory
In the bar. I don't know. I haven't kissed like that in forever. I mean, when it's just about kissing. Most guys use kissing as the start for more, but today it was just about kissing, and it felt so beautiful.
Tina
Yeah, when a guy enjoys kissing, you can definitely tell.
Carrie
Jealousy! Seriously! There's no other word for it. All the guys I date kiss for five seconds and then grab my breast.
Mallory
If anyone was grabbing anyone's chest here, I was grabbing his, and I'm not ashamed!
Tina
:D I think guys could have this same conversation. Except they'd say: Yo, dude, I totally grabbed her tits.
Carrie
And then they'd grunt and check to make sure their balls haven't disappeared.
Mallory
:D We're not sexist at all.
Carrie
Never.
Tina
Like all -isms, sexism relies on a power imbalance that clearly doesn't exist here. Otherwise, we'd be walking through the city with our legs spread wide, not letting anyone pass, and grabbing ourselves between the legs whenever we saw someone we liked.
Carrie
Well, right now I wouldn't be grabbing myself between the legs at all because I don't like anyone at the moment.
Tina
Dry spell?
Carrie
Well, I feel like I've already played through all of Tinder and somehow haven't leveled up.
Mallory
Have you tried buying more lives?
Carrie
What I need to buy are new men. :D
Tina
In our next life, we'll open a male escort agency where we rent out sexy guys. Deal?
Carrie
Deal, but I'm afraid we won't make any profit because we'll be sampling all the merchandise ourselves.
Mallory
Great idea, but what will your husband say?
Tina
That's why it has to be in the next life. In this one, I don't want to leave Joe just to become a Sugar Mama.
Mallory
Awwww, I'm going to tell him that!
Tina
Don't you dare!
Carrie
I think I'm going to throw up. No, just kidding, your hundred-year-long happily ever after is super sweet.
Tina
You jealous little monster!
Carrie
I admit it. Okay sweeties, I'm done for today. Sleep well!
Mallory
Sleep well!
Tina
Love you both.
Mallory
3
Carrie
3
Every girl needs a few good friends who are always ready to listen when you've just had the best kiss of your life, even in the middle of the night. Thank God I have them.
I snuggle into my pillows and fall asleep smiling, thinking about Brady.
* * *
I'm excited all through the next morning because I'll see him again soon. Juan has returned to the office and is even more of an ass, if that's even possible.
He calls me to his office, dictates an endless list, including booking him a suite because his wife kicked him out. Apparently Rocio said she didn't want to live with him, so he dumped her. I didn't hear this from him, though, but from a conversation between Diego and a colleague that I happened to overhear in the break room.
I'm not sure who I feel sorrier for right now. Except his wife, of course. I definitely feel the most sorry for her. But then... Somehow, despite everything, I feel sorry for Juan. There must be something wrong with my moral compass. It clearly doesn't always point north.
After getting his lunch, I head out for my own break. I'm nervous as I get into my car. No idea why. We got along well. It's probably performance anxiety. I want him to still like me today and not think he made a huge mistake because he beer-goggled me. That's happened to me before, so I can understand. Interestingly, it was with that very same Kevin in my first year of college. I'd had so much to drink that I would have kissed anyone. Which I obviously did.
Maybe I thought the kiss was so good because I don't remember it? That can't be it.
Anyway, I woke up in his arms, saw him, and fled. I just couldn't bear it. Which obviously makes me the most shallow woman ever, but I guess I have to live with that. Everyone has their quirks. Shallowness is mine.
When I get out of the car at the garage, my heart is racing. I walk in slowly, my eyes immediately falling on Brady, who's bent over an open hood. His butt is really nice.
"Hello," I say softly.
He looks up, smiles at me in a way that makes my panties melt, before saying: "I need about five more minutes."
"No problem, I'll just watch you."
"I'll try to move extra sexy."
"Just keep doing what you were doing. That's enough."
Grinning, he goes back to his work. I know nothing about cars, so I have no idea what he's doing, but I'm content just watching him. That's enough for me.
Shameless as I am, I practically drink him in with my eyes. He's really hot. There's no other way to put it.
Brady stands up straight, wipes his hands on a rag before slowly walking toward me. Instinctively, I want to back away, but that would be silly, so I stay put until he's standing right in front of me, looking down at me. Then he leans forward and kisses my lips. Thank God. It wasn't just beer goggles.
"Hi," he says softly.
"Hey."
"Feel like getting something to eat?"
"Sure."
"Let's go."
He takes my hand and it feels so wonderfully normal. We go to a small sandwich shop nearby, then sit on the steps of a building while we eat and chat. Definitely the best lunch break I've ever had.
Back at the garage, he looks at my little car. "I can bring it to you this evening. Would six work for you?"
"Can you bring it to my office?"
"Sure. Do you want to grab dinner afterward or see a movie? Or whatever? I mean, if you're interested."
"I'd love to."
I call an Uber and then spend the whole afternoon being excited about seeing him again that evening. But honestly, this is no way to exist. All this excitement can't be good. All those hormones being released, dancing through my body and driving me completely crazy. My heart just can't take it.
* * *
And then this damn afternoon passes so painfully slowly, which makes it twice as hard. Juan isn't here because he's collecting his things from their shared house and bringing them to the hotel. He's already informed me that tomorrow I'll need to take a ton of clothes to the dry cleaner. And I'm like: Yay! Not.
But then it's a quarter to six. I grab my bag, my jacket, and disappear to the bathroom to check my makeup. Never has it been so important as right now that everything looks perfect.
When I step out of the building, Brady is standing there leaning against my car. My heart skips a beat before my mouth decides it's a very good idea to smile right now. His face responds, which is why I hurry over to him, stop just short of him because I don't know what to do next, and he grins as he pulls me to him. He kisses my forehead while I breathe in his scent. So this is what Brady smells like.
Then I lift my face. He smiles at me before bending down to kiss me.
"Did you have a nice day?" he asks quietly, his hands stroking my arms.
"Uneventful, but I'm sure the evening will be better."
"Definitely."
He opens the car door for me, lets me get in, then closes it behind me.
"What are we doing?" I ask him once he's gotten in too.
"My cousin owns a pub downtown. I thought we could go there?"
He looks at me.
"So I'll be meeting your family?"
He shrugs. "At least Cian. I don't know if any of the others will be there, but they might be. But we can go somewhere else."
"It's okay with me if it's okay with you?"
"I wouldn't have suggested it otherwise."
"Okay, then I'd love to."
He grins and starts driving. Mr. Sexy is a real heartbreaker. I can feel it. I'm just not sure if it's a good idea for him to go after mine.
During the forty-minute drive, I naturally have time to be nervous again, but before I drive myself crazy because I'm meeting someone from his family, I ask him: "What are you doing this weekend? Maybe we could find some time to hang out?"
brADY
Of course this question isn't surprising. Of course I should know she wants to do something this weekend if I've been flirting with her this whole time. But still, I wasn't expecting it. Or I was hoping she wouldn't bring it up. But now I have to come clean.
"I don't have any time this weekend, unfortunately. Except maybe Sunday evening. Would that work for you?"
"Yes, of course. Are you doing something nice?"
She smiles at me so sweetly that I feel like the biggest jerk. Which I am. No question.
I didn't expect to like her so much. I had only asked her out for a drink on a whim. Sure, I found her sexy, but there wasn't anything more. At least not at the beginning. But now... now I like her. Of course, nothing has really happened yet, but I don't go through life randomly hurting people. Actually, I try not to hurt anyone. It doesn't always work, I'm well aware of that, but that's no reason not to at least try.
But if I meet up with Mindy, if I maybe try again with her, then Mallory will definitely get hurt. Maybe not badly, probably not, but it will sting her.
"An ex is in town and asked if we could meet up."
I don't dare look in her direction, somehow don't want to know how she's reacting to this.
"The whole weekend?" she asks hesitantly.
Fuck. Of course she's wondering about that. I've walked right into this trap with my eyes wide open.
Embarrassed, I rub my face. "No, of course not." But I hear the lie just as she does. "Saturday I still have to work and in the evening I'm meeting up with friends," I try to salvage the situation, but out of the corner of my eye, I can see the damage is already done.
Her whole body is tense, her teeth clenched so tightly I'm worried I'll hear them break. She's kneading her hands in her lap.
And somehow that makes me angry. Because this isn't anything that gives anyone the right to make claims. We haven't even had sex yet!
"You don't have any ownership claims," I say, wanting to take back the words the moment they leave my mouth.
Her head snaps toward me. "So I'm supposed to be thrilled when you tell me you're going to spend the whole weekend fucking your ex?"
"I didn't say that!"
"Basically, you did."
Which she's right about, of course, but that annoys me. "We had one date, made out once. That's all there was."
"Those are the facts, but I have a fact for you too."
"And what would that be?"
"Nothing more is going to happen. Stop the car, I want to get out."
"That's just silly."
"Oh, so I'm silly now too?"
"Can't we just have a nice evening together?"
"I don't know how that's supposed to work now, after you attacked me because I'm not cool with you meeting other people. I mean, you can do that, it's your decision, but I'm not interested in that and don't want it this way."
"It's just completely senseless to want to chain the other person down at this point," I cheerfully continue digging my own grave.
She looks so hurt because I'm deliberately misunderstanding her, which I am, because I know I'm behaving as wrongly as possible in this situation.
"Stop the car."
"No wonder you're single if you think you have some kind of claim after making out once."
Just shut your damn mouth , I scream at myself internally. Why is so much garbage coming out of my mouth right now?
"Stop the car!"
Knowing that I've completely screwed up, I do it. I pull over to the side of the road while she unbuckles her seatbelt as if she couldn't get away fast enough. She yanks the door open, jumps out, and marches away.
Angrily, I slam my foot on the gas pedal, driving off with squealing tires. After about a hundred yards, I realize I'm not even driving my car, but hers.
"Fuck!" I growl, brake, put the car in reverse, and drive back.
Her anger has accelerated her steps; she's already quite a distance away.
I roll down the window. "Mallory!"
"Piss off!"
"This is your car."
She stops, stares at the vehicle before realizing that it is indeed hers. I brake, pull out the key, get out, then stand in front of her, looking down at her. She looks sad. Not angry at all. Damn. I've hurt her.
"I'm sorry," I say quietly.
She doesn't look at me. "I'm probably just very old-fashioned when it comes to dating."
"Honest and open."
"But I can't imagine dating multiple guys at once, so I don't want that. If I find someone worth dating, I want to focus only on him, want to explore if it could be something. And I expect the same from the other person."
"That's actually exactly right," I admit. "That's how I usually do it too."
"What's different this time?"
And now she looks up at me. Her long lashes frame her warm brown eyes.
Basically, I can't make it any worse now. I can just tell her the truth. If she can't deal with it, it's no different than it already is.
So I shrug, why, I don't know. To downplay what I'm about to say next? "She's the one who got away."
"So it's wounded pride because she broke up with you?"
"Partly, sure, but I was so in love with her and she went back to her husband. She broke my heart."
"Then why do you even want to see her again?"
"I don't know, it doesn't even make sense in my head, but I think it's because I need to know what she's like now. It was ages ago, nine years. Honestly, I'd say I'm over it. I've had other girlfriends, but recently she got in touch, and there's this voice inside me saying I at least have to listen to her, or I'll regret it."
"I understand. And why the whole weekend?"
I shrug again. "I don't know. It was kind of just... a buffer. I had already cleared the weekend before I met you. Either because it goes well and we spend time together, or because it goes badly and I need to cry it out."
"Okay. And that didn't change for you after I came into the picture?"
As gently as possible, I say: "We barely know each other yet. I like you, really. Under normal circumstances, nothing would stop me from focusing on you. It's just..."
"Just that she's the one you couldn't hold onto."
"Yes. I'm sorry."
She nods. "I'm not a consolation prize. If I'm in, I want to be the grand prize."
I nod slowly, understanding what she's trying to tell me. "You deserve nothing less."
"I like you too, as much as you can say that at this point."
Tenderly, I cup her face. "You're a wonderful girl." I briefly press my lips to hers before looking at her a bit wistfully.
I'm a real dimwit for letting her go. For a fixation that didn't work almost ten years ago. But Mindy is dancing through my head so much that I can't think clearly anymore.
She nods before taking the key from my hand and getting into her car. I watch the headlights disappear into the darkness and wonder if I've just made a terrible mistake.