Chapter 24
Chapter Twenty-Four
Chris
So Good - Halsey
L ooking down at the papers on my desk, I rub the back of my neck. Then I twist it to the sides, trying to crack away the tension in my muscles and vertebrae.
It doesn’t work.
I attempt to focus my gaze on the words, but they blur from the headache I’m still sporting. Huffing, I angrily open my drawer to find the bottle of Tylenol in there and pop two pills.
I can do this. Sort through the five cases Rose proposed for Reeves’s next class, finish my own research for my business strategy and business negotiations class, and not think of Ella.
Don’t think about the way her eyes were shining with tears when I didn’t defend her from Megan’s spiteful behavior. Don’t think about the sound of her steps as she ran away after I said the most malicious words I’ve ever said to her. She probably went to the dance studio. It’s always been her safe space.
Please, stop thinking about that visceral need I have to go find her and let her know that it broke my heart as much as hers to act that way toward her. That I did it for her own good.
Everything terrible I do is for her own good. She just can’t see it yet. She doesn’t understand that what I’m putting her through is to help her understand that I’m the one she needs. I’m the one who will protect her from the terrible things that scare and hurt her. And while this very specific behavior wasn’t planned, it was still necessary.
Don’t think of Ella.
Just for today. Or at least for this afternoon. One hour?
I eye the book of Shakespeare sonnets I took with me this morning to read before classes.
So are you to my thoughts as food to life,
Or as sweet-season'd showers are to the ground.
I can’t even forget her for a whole minute. Even when I force my mind to do so, my gut twists, and I almost hyperventilate from wanting to think of her again. It’s more than a need. It’s an urgency. A hunger I can’t control.
The sound of the office door makes me look up, and I freeze from the vision of the woman I’m dying to keep out of my head. Well, this isn’t helping, is it?
My heart breaks into a sprint, enhancing the desperation to get up and take her into my arms.
I’m about to ask her how she’s feeling, when she speaks.
“Did you hurt Matias?”
My eyes automatically dart to Reeves’s door, not wanting him to hear us. She’s panting, probably ran here, but her angry eyes stay on me.
She eyes the bruise at the corner of my mouth, the swollen skin. I unconsciously lick my lip, tasting the copper tang of the fresh cut.
“Did he fight back? Is that how you got that?” As if Matias could have hurt me.
When I notice the pointe shoes in her hand and the redness in her eyes, I ignore her question.
“Was there a problem at the studio?” I ask.
“Nothing you would care about,” she barks back. “Now answer me. Because people think I hire someone to hurt my exes or the people I date, and we both know I don’t. I’ll tell everyone it was you.”
I’m up before I know it. I’m rounding my desk and striding toward her subconsciously, and I’m standing tall in front of her wide-eyed form before I can control it.
My hand flies to her face, wrapping around her jaw and pulling until her neck is taut, her teeth gritting, glare locked on me.
“What will you say, Sweets? That your ex beat up two people because they flirted with you? I’m the one who seems like he’s moved on from an outside perspective. How credible will you look?”
Her fingers wrap around my wrist. “Why are you ruining my life?” she snarls, but it’s breathy and full of hopelessness.
“I protected you from two people who didn’t have your best interest at heart.”
It takes a lot of my self-control to not put her over my knees and spank the shit out of her for her attitude. It’s Ella Baker I’m talking about. She gives what she gets, and only I take what I want out of her.
“Don’t give me this bullshit when you won’t even tell me why you suddenly have a bruised face. When you wouldn’t even look at me earlier. ”
I pull hard enough it forces her to get on her toes. She trips over her feet, having to press her hands against my chest to hold herself up. As if I would ever let her fall.
“Listen to me,” I say softly. It’s the opposite of my violent touch. “I own you. The things I have to do to protect you don’t change that.”
“You own me? But who fucking owns you ?” she hisses. “I think we both know that answer. Does Megan know how you got that bruise on your face?”
She threw a phone at my face .
She hurt my dad.
She said you were next.
I shake my head, blinking away the image of me admitting everything to Ella. How could I be so stupid to threaten Megan and pretend her threat of hurting my dad could only be used so many times? Of course she would find other people to threaten. Of course she would choose Ella.
“Megan is an obligation to me. I don’t care what she believes or who she thinks she owns. But I care about your wellbeing. And those two were bad news for you.”
I let her shove me away. She rubs her hands over her face, all the way to her hairline, and pulls at her roots. “You’re ruining my life,” she howls.
My eyes dart to Reeves’s office once again. I don’t want him to hear us.
“I was trying to protect you,” I admit, grabbing her by the wrists so she can’t start roaming around the room like she does when she’s anxious. “I warned you. No other men. You know how Matias felt about you.”
“He’s in a coma, Chris. Oh my god,” she panics, eyes widening. “You’re insane.”
She tries to pull away, but I’m not planning on letting her go. I’m never planning on letting her go .
“I could get arrested after what Hermes said about me!”
“Don’t shout.” I eye the door to Reeves’s office, thinking she might catch onto my concern. “Nothing would ever happen to you. Hermes is a speculating account. You have the Circle behind you.”
She knows that’s not true. The Circle grants one wish to Aphrodites. No more. No less. But I need to slyly make her see the truth.
And it works, because the blood drains from her face.
“I have nothing!” she gasps. It’s hitting her. “I have no one to help. This could be the end of me.”
I let it settle for one more second before dropping the words that will get her closer to me.
“You have me.”
She stops struggling, and I finally notice it. The desperation for reassurance in her baby-blue eyes. The need to know someone will have her back through everything.
She’s getting there. To that spot where I want her. It’s slow, but it’s steady, and every single move I’ve made until now is helping the pieces fall into place.
“I can’t trust you.” She points at the bruise on my face. “You’re a liar. Your biggest strength is manipulating people.” Her chest trembles when she breathes. “You’ll use me. And then you’ll let me down. You’ve done it before.”
Those exact thoughts are the reason I’m forced to act cunningly toward her. She doesn’t trust me. I have to force her to. She’ll never know I’ll catch her no matter what if she doesn’t jump. She needs a push.
“I will protect you,” I tell her. “I will care for you like the queen you are, and I will never let anyone hurt you. All you have to do in return is be mine and wait patiently for me to get myself out of my situation with Megan.”
She closes her eyes, takes a trembling breath, and reopens them. “Maria Delgado left SFU. Just like that, she asked to transfer to another college.”
Pride bubbles in my chest.
“Did you get your spot back as cheer captain?”
“It was you too,” she sighs and shakes her head. “What did you do to her?”
“She’s all fine. Did you get your spot back?” I insist.
“I did,” she says unsteadily. “I don’t know for how long since the team hates me, but I did.”
I feel a smile spreading on my face, but she looks at me with complete terror in her eyes.
“Stop interfering with my life.”
“Never. You deserved that spot.”
The door to Reeves’s office opens, and I take a long step back, letting go of her.
“Miss Baker,” his voice snaps angrily. “Here to hand in your essay early, maybe?”
She shakes her head, pulling her blonde hair behind her ears. “I was just leaving.”
I’m forced to stand still when she does so, and all I can do is watch her leave with a dire need to run after her.
Because Megan has eyes everywhere. And Reeves is always too happy to help my dear fiancée.
The second the door closes, Reeves smirks at me. “That looks painful.” A curt nod toward me lets me know he’s talking about my mouth. “Your future wife is violently possessive of you, isn’t she?” When I don’t answer, he insists. “What was it? Did she learn you slept with Ella outside of the temple?”
“So you’re the one who told her,” I say simply.
“A nice student of mine saw you in my classroom. She was so desperate to get in my good books, she informed me right away. And I was rather desperate to get back at you for threatening me during initiations. I lost my prize for the night because of you.”
We stay a couple of feet apart, neither of us moving or raising our voices, yet the conversation feels like a duel.
“All I did was remind you that if the Circle learns about you sleeping with students, you’ll become more trouble than you’re worth to them.”
“That was a threat so I would forfeit Ella for the night. You got what you wanted, and now so did I. We’re even.”
He shrugs like this is nothing. Like the result wasn’t a jealous, controlling woman screaming at me, threatening me, throwing her phone in my face, and hurting my family.
Like the result wasn’t threats toward the woman I love.
“I could still tell them,” I warn, my voice lowering.
“I don’t think so. Megan and I have been sharing information since you can’t be trusted. We wouldn’t want Ella to know your little secrets.” He smirks. “It would be terribly unfortunate.”
Swallowing back frustration, I acknowledge his words with a nod, and that’s all he needs. I’ve lost my advantage over him, but I shouldn’t care. The most important thing is Ella staying clueless. I can’t have her where I want her if she has a choice in it.