Chapter Fourteen
Poppy
A depraved pit of depression overwhelms me the second I get home the next day and see Amber packing her things.
“What are you doing?”
She shoves her clothes angrily into her suitcase, refusing to look up at me. “I need to get out of here,” she mumbles under her breath.
“But where will you go?”
Her head shoots up, mascara track marks line her cheeks, the emptiness in her eyes sucking away my soul. “Anywhere that’s not near them.”
“You can’t leave me, Amber.”
Her silence makes this moment even worse. Does she blame me too? The weight of Rich’s words, my sister’s, and the shame in everyone else’s eyes from that day, makes me want to disappear.
“I’m going to leave my car here. You can have it. The title’s already signed over to you.”
“Amber…”
“I’m not going to need it where I’m going. And you’re going to need it in Stanford. So, keep it. I’ll just get something new when I get back.”
“So, this is it then? You’re really just going to up and leave like this?”
She nods. “It’s what’s best.”
“I’m going to miss you, Amber,” I blurt out, my emotions building.
“I’ll miss you too, Poppy.” She says it so flatly, like she doesn’t really mean it. That’s why I don’t believe her. She still won’t look at me, and there’s no sincerity in her tone at all.
My heart drops when I see her pick up a few more items and start to zip up her suitcase. “You know you don’t have to move out.”
“I can’t live with her, Poppy. Not after everything that happened.”
“She’s sorry, even if she doesn’t say it.”
“Still doesn’t change the fact that she sabotaged my entire relationship all because she was jealous of me and Eddie.”
“Yeah, I wish I had known,” I say with less conviction than I should, and she sees right through it.
“You don’t have to lie to me, Poppy. She’s your sister, of course you’re going to cover for her.” She rolls her eyes before she moves closer to the door.
“Amber, I—”
“Please don’t pretend anymore. The truth is out, Poppy. Just admit it. You knew and chose not to tell me.”
Admitting it out loud will only make things worse. I can’t lose her, not when it feels like everyone else is turning their backs on me.
“Where you gonna go?” I ask again.
She shrugs, her shoulders lifting through a shuddering breath. “I don’t know. I have this non-refundable ticket to Italy. I think I may go there. You can come too, if you want?”
The thought is tempting, but I’m supposed to start at Stanford in a month. “I wish I could, but I have things to do here.”
“And I don’t,” Amber mumbles. “All of that is behind me now.”
“What happened with the Australian dude? Are you going to see him again?”
“Don’t even get me started on that womanizing whore—”
I cut her off. “That bad, huh?”
“The bastard couldn’t even make it a night without sticking his dick in someone else. She offered him a lot of money he couldn’t pass up. Did I tell you she was fifty?”
“Fifty!”
“Gross, right? I was appalled. But that’s why I’m back here. I’m going to pack up my stuff, leave it in a storage unit, and figure it all out from there. There’s nothing here for me anymore.”
“What about me?” I question, not sure if I really want to know her answer.
“You made your choice, Poppy. And it was the right one. Blood before friendship.”
“Amber—”
“It’s okay, Poppy. It’s what you had to do…” She forces out a fake, half-hearted smile. “Well, that’s the last of it. Thanks for always being there for me, as much as you could, Poppy.”
My heart sinks. “This sounds like a goodbye.”
“It is.”
“I mean forever. This sounds like a forever goodbye.” I can’t stop the tears from forming, but I refuse to let them drop.
“I can’t take the chance of seeing her again, Poppy. At least not right now. I hope you understand that.”
A single tear moves down my cheek. “Will you at least tell me where you end up?”
“I’m not sure if I’m going to let anyone know where that is, to be honest. I just need… space,” she whispers, pausing for a beat too long. “From everyone.”
My jaw slightly drops. “Even me?”
“Sorry.”
I can’t believe she’s saying this without any emotion at all.
“It’s okay. I understand. I know I should’ve told you about Pippa’s strange obsession with Eddie, but I just didn’t know how.
Not without betraying her too.” The truth comes out before I can stop it, and the way she looks at me, staring into my soul like I’m a complete stranger, guts me.
“She’s your twin, Poppy. She comes first.” Her phone rings, and with the way she looks at the screen I already know who’s calling… Eddie.
“You could talk to him, you know?” I suggest.
“And say what? I can’t trust him right now. Frankly, I can’t trust anyone.” There’s so much frustration in her voice, and an emptiness that wasn’t there two days ago.
As much as I hate to do it, I grab a few of her bags and help her toward the door. She needs the space, and both of us know it. “I don’t know. But I do know he loves you, Amber. More than he’s probably loved anyone before.”
“That’s what makes it so bad. He loved me and still ended up fucking one of my best friends. People who truly love you don’t do that.”
My phone rings. It’s Eddie. “Now he’s calling me.”
“You can pick it up if you want. Just don’t tell him where I am.”
“I’m good. I have nothing to say to him either.”
“Where is Pippa, anyway?”
I shrug. “I don’t know. I haven’t heard from her today. Last time I talked to her, she was going to try to patch things up with Eddie.”
Amber looks at her feet, the pain in her eyes swelling again. “Wonderful. I hope they find happiness. Those two belong together.”
“You don’t mean that, Amber.”
“It doesn’t matter what I feel. It’s over, and I’m ready to move on. Anyway, I should get going.”
“Will you at least tell me where you end up, please? I wanna know where you end up after Italy.”
She steals a glance my way and gives me a smile that doesn’t reach her eyes. “I’ll do my best. Goodbye, Poppy.”
“Bye, Amber.”
Then she leaves. No hug goodbye. No hope for a friendship after this. She just walks out the door, packs up her U-Haul, and leaves, abandoning me just like my parents.
I cry for what seems like hours. A hollow pit building in my stomach as I mourn the loss of my best friend, silently blaming myself for letting it happen.
I tried calling Pippa a few times, hoping that her voice would somehow make things easier for me, but she never picked up her phone.
Now I’m just sitting in our apartment, the emptiness causing the loneliness to drag in, wishing things hadn’t turned out the way they did.
Could it really be my fault that everything happened?
Wesley being thrown in jail. My doing. Amber cheating on Eddie in Vegas.
I could’ve stopped her. My sister fucking Eddie.
Had I paid more attention I may have been able to talk her out of it.
But the wedding… I know that’s my fault completely, and now I’m kicking myself for it.
A strange ache quakes through my belly, a pain I’ve never felt before.
I cry out, emotion clogging my throat as an overwhelming sense of loss takes over.
Not because of Amber, but because of something else.
Something I’m not quite sure of. It feels hollow and listless, like a void you get lost in before dying.
More tears fall from my eyes, but they feel unreal, like they don’t belong to me.
An obnoxious knock pounds against the door, and it takes everything in me to get to my feet, wipe away my tears, and pretend like I’m okay.
I’m not okay. I’ve never felt this empty before, like the only way to overcome this sudden emptiness is to fill it with something that will make me numb.
Each step toward the door feels heavier than the first, and when I look through the peephole to see a cop and Eddie standing there, my pain turns to anger.
I wrench that stupid door open, eyes narrowing on the piece of shit sitting on the ground, hanging his head in his hands, a cop silently consoling him.
“She’s not here,” I shout, slamming the door in their faces.
Another knock.
This time it only pisses me off. I turn into someone else, someone not quite me.
“What? What the fuck do you want, Eddie? Haven’t you ruined enough?” The cusswords come out so easily, like they’ve always been a part of me. I never cuss. I save those for my sister, but right now, facing the man responsible for turning my world upside down, they seem freeing.
The cop clears his throat, looking a bit uncomfortable. “Ma’am, I’m Officer Johnston with the Reno Police Department. May I come in?”
“Sure, but that motherfucker can stay outside.”
“Unfortunately, ma’am, I feel as though it’s best if he comes inside. He’s having a bit of an anxiety attack, and I’d like to keep an eye on him. Would that be okay?”
Good, I hope he dies from it.
“Do I really have a choice?” I state in annoyance.
Officer Johnston nods his head. “Everyone has a choice, but in his current condition, I can’t leave him alone.”
“This is so stupid. But fine. By all means, come on in.” I wave them in, my animosity only building the more I have to look at him.
He did this. He made her leave. He broke my sister. He fucked up my life.
The officer helps Eddie to his feet and guides him to the couch. I stay in the corner with my arms crossed, ready for war.
“It’s probably best you have a seat,” the officer states.
My eyes dart to Eddie, hating how sad he looks. He doesn’t get to look sad. Not right now.
“What’s this about?”
“Eddie tells me that your parents are out of town on business?”
“They’re always out of town… why? What’s going on?” They both share a look, one that makes my back straighten. Something’s definitely wrong.
Eddie can’t even look at me, and when he does, his eyes widen like he’s staring at a complete stranger.
“I’m not sure how to tell you this…” Officer Johnston starts, shifting a bit in his seat. “But there was an accident…”