Chapter 51
CHAPTER FIFTY-ONE
I just made Oakley come.
My brain buzzes, and it’s hard to think straight.
I did this to play the game. To get Kyan to trust me.
But it made me hot. More than that, though, was the way that Oakley looked at me when he came.
Fuck, it was like he was hanging on my every emotion.
Like seeing me changed something, and then he was stiffening, shooting cum all over my hands.
And I can’t shake the buzzing high it gave me.
The old Holli is here, trying to yell past the buzz. Trying to scream what a horrible idea it is to get involved with someone who I’m not even sure will survive. What a bad plan it is to get attached ‘cause it’ll hurt worse when they go.
I shove the old Holli away because Kyan seems happy with us, handing me a warm, wet rag to clean off and offering Oakley a shower.
Oakley gives me a questioning look, like I’m the one who knows what to do here. I don’t, not really. I just want to make as few waves as possible. So when Ky leads Oakley down the hall and cranks the water on, I motion at him not to argue.
But then Kyan is back. He stalks up to me, then whips a knife out of his back pocket. I freeze, calculating his body language, but he’s relaxed. He just motions for my bound hands. Slowly, I give them over, and he cuts me free.
“There are snacks in the cabinets.” Then, he throws himself down on the couch opposite mine.
I don’t move, and he watches me, body casual but eyes keen.
I wonder if he wants me to get something, and sitting here feels awkward, but somehow rummaging in his house feels just as, if not more, awkward. Kyan is just silent, like we’re at the beginning of a therapy session that no one wants to be at.
I realize I’ve been in an uncomfortable position like this before. I mean, I have, and I haven’t. This might be the only useful skill my old life has taught me. My life never hung in the balance before, though.
“So,” I say. “This place is nice.” I start off neutral. Nothing crazy, just a statement to see how receptive Kyan is to talking to me.
Kyan just smiles a lazy smile. “You think this is nice?”
I shrug. “Feels homey.” That’s not a lie. The rain is pounding on the roof, and there’s something nice about having a couch, carpet, and a kitchen close that I’ve taken for granted. Plus, it’s important to start off by telling the truth so he trusts me.
“It was supposed to be temporary. I don’t use it often.” Kyan pulls something out of his pocket. It’s a vape. Not the one from the villa, but smaller and sleeker. He takes a hit, blowing the vapor to the ceiling. Watching me watch him, he offers it to me, eyebrow raised.
He’s offering me a hit? Is this a test? Or a show of camaraderie?
I put on the same smile I give to clients who offer me gifts. “I don’t vape.”
Kyan takes it back with a chuckle, taking another hit and staring at the ceiling. “Good. It’s not good for you.”
Being kidnapped, tied up, and asked to perform sexual acts isn’t good for you either. But maybe he doesn’t see it that way? Or doesn’t know how we got here.
The alters must not talk to each other. The confusion and complete one-eighty in behavior seems to prove that.
I need to gain some rapport with him. People usually like talking about themselves. I wonder if I can get him talking without it feeling like an interrogation. Kyan seems much more playful. Maybe he likes it returned.
“Do as I say, not as I do?” I put on a teasing tone, waving at the vape.
Kyan raises one hand in the air, then drops it back down on his chest. “Absolutely. Or do as I do.” He shrugs. “Or do who I do.” He doesn’t look at me, but there’s a smirk on his face.
My cheeks burn. He’s totally talking about Oakley. I shouldn’t have done that. I should have fought harder. But that look in Oakley’s eye…
“Mousey likes you.” Kyan says it like a fact. Casually, like he just said the sky is blue. But it makes my face heat, and I’m not sure why. Kyan starts tossing his vape up in the air.
Danger. We should not be in this territory. We need to be talking about Oakley or me. Or us together.
“It’s important to you what he likes.” I redirect the conversation.
Kyan seems to pause for a second, then goes back to tossing. “Yes.” The word is simple, but carries the weight of conviction.
“Tell me more about how you met?” I ask. Mostly to keep him talking, but also because there’s a tiny bit of curiosity.
“Found him wandering the halls. He needed help. So I gave it to him.” Kyan’s tone is suggestive, and my face heats at what he’s implying.
“He’s caught you, too, in the same trap.” Up, down, up, down goes the vape.
I stiffen. He’s saying I’m with Oakley. Isn’t that what I want him to believe? To appease Kyan? Maybe fulfill some sort of sexual fantasy?
I clear my throat. “Everyone gets a crush now and again.” It’s a non-answer. My favorite kind.
Kyan snorts. “Sure. But we all know Oakley is something special.”
Oakley is, in my clinical opinion, a very wounded person.
I can’t lie and say there isn’t a draw to that.
To him. I’ve always wanted to help wounded people.
And the way that he’s willing to put everything on the line for me is…
confusing to say the least. Confusion isn’t the only emotion I’m feeling.
“When did you notice that special thing about him?” I ask to fill the space. Inside, I’m scrambling.
“Right away. It’s something in the eyes, man. The eyes don’t lie.” Kyan flashes me a look, and it’s playful, but there’s a flash of something I can’t catch. “Who are you, Holli?” His voice changes a bit. Gets a little darker. A little more menacing.
The question makes me freeze, and my heart races. I evaluate Kyan for any changes in behavior, but he just stares at me with those dark eyes.
My face gets hot, and I clear my throat. I have to be honest. People who have gone through trauma are excellent at sniffing out lies. “I’m–I was a therapist. I make a living helping people.”
Kyan keeps looking for a while, and his gaze narrows. “A shrink, huh? Gonna tell me what’s wrong with me?”
Not a snowball’s chance in hell. That would get the old Holli killed, and Oakley, too. I need Fourteen.
I just arch my eyebrow. “Are you paying?”
There’s a moment of stillness, then Kyan barks out a laugh, going back to tossing the vape. “No, I don’t suppose I am. Unless you accept orgasms.”
I nearly choke. Kyan, Wyatt—the body they share is hot. The kind of hot I wouldn’t mind fucking around with. But fucking around always leads to feelings for me. And that can’t happen here.
I realize I have to respond or I’ll lose the rapport I’ve started building. I shrug, rubbing my palms on my knees. “You’d better have a good explanation for your insurance when they cut you that payback check.”
Kyan laughs fully now, turning to face me head-on, eyes sparkling. “I’ll accept orgasms from them, too. I’m not picky.”
He winks at me, but I immediately see through it. I’ve seen it before in some of my past clients. It’s a detached sort of…longing, concealed in a blase attitude.
Kyan uses sex as a weapon of sorts. A smoking gun that keeps everyone six feet away while he gets to go around and use that fun to cover up anything he might be feeling.
So then why is he making lovey-eyes at Oakley?
Oakley—as is everyone—is far from perfect, and he’ll blast that ‘fun’ feeling right out of the water.
Doesn’t that defeat Kyan’s game? If it does, does that make Oakley dangerous for the reason Kyan exists?
If Kyan isn’t around to protect the other alters from the bad feelings…
what will happen if they come out and can actually feel them?
Kyan shrugs. “You want dinner? I can make you dinner before your shower.”
I get a shower too? The relief knowing that I can shower for the second time in…how many days? Suddenly, all I want is to get under that hot water and let it wash everything away.
Kyan is still waiting, so I nod. When he moves to the kitchen, I let out a sigh of relief. I watch as he slips the gun out of the back of his waistband and puts it on top of the fridge.
That conversation may have been more dangerous than spending a night alone in the woods, and I’ve learned valuable information. One, that Kyan has a deep wound he tries very hard to cover up, and two, that he has no idea that he’s in a system.
And it has to stay that way.