8. Jensen
8
JENSEN
I wrap my arm around Lennox’s waist, pulling him into my lap. “I thought it would be weirder, kissing a man for the first time, especially one who’s my best friend’s younger brother, but it doesn’t feel weird at all.”
“Less talking, more kissing.” I chuckle softly before snatching him around the nape and pulling his lips to mine. A spark hits my mouth, and I smile into the kiss. “What?” he asks, retreating.
“Nothing. I just realized I really like kissing you.” With one hand on the back of his neck and the other on his waist, I pull him toward me, taking his mouth with mine. The first kiss we had was amazing, but this one? This one is out of this world. The way he eagerly gives himself over to me is unlike anything I’ve ever experienced before.
“For someone who has never kissed a man before, you are fantastic at it,” he says, pecking at my lips.
“Thanks? I think?” I give him one last peck before pulling away and resting both hands on his hips. “Do you have to work tonight, or would you want to stay for dinner?”
“I’d really love to stay.”
“All right, then you get to help me make it.” I lift him up off me, gently tossing him to the side.
“Wait.” He scrambles up to his knees, looking at me wide-eyed. “I don’t know how to cook Jensen. I’m a ‘ make a PB&J ’ type person, not a ‘ stand over the stove and actually make something ’ person.”
“Well, luckily for you, I know how to cook, so get that cute ass of yours in my kitchen.”
“You know how to cook? Wait, you think my ass is cute?” He giggles, hopping off the couch.
“Do you eat enchiladas?”
“That sounds good, but you didn’t answer my question. Tell me more about my cute ass. I mean, I know it’s cute, but I would love to hear more about how you think it is, too.”
Lennox follows me into the kitchen taking a seat on the stool, while I pull out all the ingredients for the green salsa verde chicken enchiladas I love to make. I place everything onto the counter, smiling when Lennox gets right into my space.
“Yes, Lennox, I meant what I said. You have a very cute ass. One I’d love to get to know more. Now, start seasoning the chicken while I make the salsa.” We work side by side, him working on the meat before he slides it into the oven. “So, tell me more about nursing school?”
I don’t want Lennox to think this is all about sex for me. While it might have started off that way—me seeing him on the stage awakening something new in me—our kiss last night changed things for me. I may have known him for years, but do I really know him? The real Lennox. Not Nick’s little brother Lennox.
“It’s so damn hard, but so rewarding, too. Knowing that once I’m done, I’ll be able to help others has me wanting to finish as soon as I can. I still have a while to go, but I’m slowly getting there. What’s it like working remotely? I think I would get so bored if I was stuck in my tiny apartment all day.”
“I actually like it. I work harder when I’m at home and I don’t have to deal with people, which is always a plus for me. And it allows me to try new things, which was how I realized I really enjoyed cooking.”
“What kind of dishes do you make? And why didn’t I know you could cook?”
I lower the burner on the stove, then turn around to face him. “I can make most things as long as I have a recipe. Few people know I can cook at all. I’ve recently tried to bake. It’s not coming out as well as I hoped it would, but I’m not going to give up. We also don’t know much about each other outside surface-level things.”
“Would you teach me how to cook something sometime?”
I step into his space, smiling when he parts his legs for me to step into the middle. With shaky hands, I brush the stray brunet hair off his forehead. Finding a man attractive is so damn new to me. As much as I was confident earlier when I was talking to Lennox, I’m still worried about what this all means. It’s another reason I’m not ready to tell anyone—especially Nick—when it’s something I can’t really explain myself. I go twenty-nine years of my life only being attracted to women, and then one night, everything changes and I’m seeing someone differently.
“I’d love to teach you a thing or two. Since we’re halfway through the dinner for tonight, we can make plans to do it again. Maybe this weekend?”
“I work on Friday and Saturday night, but I’m off on Sunday if that works. Would it be too forward of me to ask for another kiss?”
Chuckling, I grip his chin with two of my fingers. I bend toward him, taking his lips with mine. God, I could stand here and kiss Lennox for hours. There’s something about his warm, soft lips that is so damn inviting. I’m so becoming addicted to kissing him.
“Sunday night sounds good,” I tell him, stepping away to check the sauce that’s on the stove. “Do you work at Peaches a lot?”
“Sometimes. Depends on when they place me on the schedule. I truly enjoy working there. All my friends are there, plus the owner, Caleb, is really sweet. His number one priority is his workers. Can I ask a personal question?”
“You can ask me anything, Lennox.”
“I thought you were straight. Or I always assumed that you were. What changed?”
“You.”
“Me?” he squeaks, his cheeks turning bright red.
“Heh. Yeah.” I scratch at my beard, chuckling as I shake my head. “The first night I saw you dancing, I recognized you, but it was more shock than anything. Then the second night I told myself I was just checking on you, even though I kept staring at your body and the way you moved. But then I watched you perform, and you captivated me. It was so much more than me being in awe of you being able to dance. You turned me on, and it scared the hell out of me. I tried to sneak out of there with my raging hard on, but you caught me. Stomped your ass all the way over to me, demanding to know why I was back there.”
“Oh my god, is that why you were looking at me like a chicken with its head cut off?”
“Realizing you’re rock hard over your best friend’s little brother is rather shocking. But also having a boner in a public place wasn’t my idea of a good time. Sorry if I couldn’t come off that articulate.” I roll my eyes playfully, letting him know I’m messing around.
“Wow. Rock hard, huh?” he asks as I brush my thumb against his cheekbone. He leans into my touch. “There’s something you have to know before this goes any further.”
“What’s that?”
“I’m a virgin.”
I choke on my spit, coughing roughly. “Damn, Lennox. Way to just toss that out there.”
“I’m just saying. If this is something that’s all about sex, then it won’t be worth it.” He shrugs, side-eying me. “I’ve seen you with women, Jensen.”
“No.” I take hold of his chin, turning him to face me. “That’s what I’ve let everyone see or think. I’ve never been just about sex. I’ve never been a hook-up type of person, and I haven’t even had a one-night stand. Of course, I’ve been with women, some you’ve met, but I was always in a relationship with them. Except during my teenage years, but those don’t count.” Lennox laughs, and I smile, chuckling alongside him. There are a few things I need that women haven’t been able to provide me with. I crave to be more dominant or rougher, but I never felt comfortable enough to do that with anyone I’ve been with. “I think you’re pretty damn amazing for knowing what you want. Most people try to get rid of their virginity as soon as they can.”
“Trust me, I’ve tried.” I tilt my head in confusion, not fully understanding. Lennox blows out a breath, closing his eyes. “I want to have anal sex. Like I’ve done hand jobs, blow jobs, frotting, and all the other sexual things you can think of. But I’ve never trusted someone enough to give them my body that way. Maybe there’s just something wrong with me.”
“Nope. There is absolutely nothing wrong with you, and I never want you to say that again. And I want to strangle anyone who made you feel that way.” I know Lennox has had a line of shitty boyfriends in the past, but damn. What the hell was the problem with them? “I will never pressure you into anything. I can promise you that. And if you ever feel that way, tell me. I don’t want to be another shitty boyfriend. Errr—if we ever decide to take it that far.”
“Okay,” he whispers, planting a soft kiss on my lips. “Is the food done?” he asks right before his stomach rumbles loudly.
“Yeah, let’s eat.” I tap Lennox’s leg, and he jumps off the stool. “Grab two plates in the cabinet up there.” I point to the cupboard next to the fridge and Lennox heads that way. After plating our food, we sit down at the table side by side. “What’s Declan doing tonight?”
“He has to work later, so he’s probably not going to be home.”
“So, he won’t notice if you don’t make it back tonight?” I ask, my heart thumping loudly in my chest.
Lennox raises his eyebrow mischievously. “Didn’t we just have this conversation?” he asks, spearing his food with a fork.
“Not for sex. But I figured maybe after we eat dinner, we could hang out in my living room and watch a movie.”
“Like a date?” His eyes widen and he dips his head, but not before I see the bright pink blush that flushes his cheeks.
“Yeah, Lennox, I am considering this a date. I wanna get to know you better.”
“Okay, so let’s do a quick get-to-know-you. Oh! I know. Twenty questions.” He bounces in his seat, flashing me a wide smile. “I’ll start. What’s your favorite color?”
“Favorite color? Pretty basic question, isn’t it?” I tease.
“We’ll start out easy, then get into the more personal ones.”
“Okay, okay. Blue. What about yours?”
“Is that your first question? If I answer, then the question goes back to me.”
With a nod of my head, I play along with his game. I know he wants to be the one leading the questions. “What’s your favorite color?”
“Pink. Duh.” He smirks, looking down at his pink button-up. “Second question, what’s your favorite TV show?”
“I’m more of a movie person, but I never tire of Sons of Anarchy .”
“Oh my, Charlie Hunnam? Yes, please. Mine is Psych . I love shows that have me laughing my ass off. Hmm…what next?” He taps his chin playfully, eyeing me with a devious smirk. “What did you really think of me when you first saw me onstage?”
I sputter out a cough, my water flying across the table. “Okay, I guess we’re done with the basic questions?” Lennox nods and takes another bite of his food, not so patiently waiting for me to answer. “When you first appeared, and I couldn’t see your face, I was admiring your body. I can appreciate when a man has an impressive body.” Lennox chokes loudly and I snap my gaze up to him. “What?”
“I’m sorry, but what? Are you saying you’ve always been interested in men, and I didn’t know?”
“Men didn’t appeal to me until you,” I scoff, not knowing where he’s going with this.
“But you just said you were admiring my body?”
“Yeah, ’cause it looked like you worked out a lot. So, I was admiring what a body looked like.”
“Hmm, okay.” He giggles, the corners of his eyes crinkling softly. “I think you’ve probably been attracted to men for much longer than you realize, but that’s okay. Everyone goes at their own pace. What were you thinking when you realized it was me?”
I keep replaying his words in my mind—the ones suggesting I might have been drawn to other men in the past. It’s too much to think about right now, so I file it away to unpack later when I’m alone.
“That you looked familiar and when I realized it was you, I instantly worried why you were working at that place in the first place.” Lennox goes to speak, and I rush to clarify, “Not because there’s anything wrong with working there, but because the last I’d heard, you were working in a coffee shop, so I was worried something happened.”
“And the next night?”
“The same thing. I had asked Nick about you, and he said you were still at the coffee shop, so I went back to check on you. That night is when things really changed for me.”
“Ooh, how so?”
I take another bite, debating how much or how little to tell him. “When I went home, all that played through my mind was you. You dancing on the stage, the outfits that you wore. I couldn’t stop thinking about you. That was the first night I woke up hard and aching, needing relief.” Lennox squirms in his seat, his eyes wide as he hangs onto every word I’m saying. “Of course, I thought nothing of it, but it confused me more. Which is why I went back again. And that’s when I got hard watching you on the stage and it was like a lightbulb moment. I realized I was drawn to you and there was more going on than just admiring your body. It’s also the first time I touched myself to thoughts of you. Wait, no, the first occasion was before that, even though I tried to tell myself it wasn’t because of you. But after the third night was the first time I really let myself realize I was turned on by you.” I toss out, smiling when Lennox’s fork falls from his hands.
“And uh—have you done that again? Jerked off to me?”
“Multiple times. Hell, I did it just this morning.”
“Oh, my god, Jensen.”
“Come on, let’s go watch that movie.”