19. Lennox
19
LENNOX
‘ Cherry Pie ’ by Warrant blasts through the speakers as the neon lights shine brightly in my eyes. I jump up onto the pole, wrapping my leg around it to balance myself. Using my hands, I lift myself up before leaning back and dropping. The audience gasps as I slowly slide down the rod, a devilish smirk playing on my face. I stay on it for a few more seconds, then get off, continuing with my routine. I’ve learned some new moves from Cole, who’s a damn good dancer. He’s shown all of us a few unique tricks we’re all trying out tonight. I sway my hips as I walk over to the chair placed in the center of the stage. Grabbing the back of the seat, I twirl it in a circle before sitting in it, my back toward the crowd. I spread my legs wide and lean backward in the chair, arching myself up.
My mind flashes to this morning with Jensen in the shower. The way he worked my body effortlessly with his fingers and tongue and had me coming down the drain in no time at all. I’ve never been with a man who has made me feel such amazing sensations with the slightest of gentle touches. Every day I spend with him, the more I fall in love and the more I want to give him all of me. It’s been a week since the game night at his house and I’ve spent every night wrapped in his arms. He’s the only man I’ve ever met who’s been worthy of that part of me. Now I just need to figure out when to do it. I shake my head, not wanting to get hard while I’m on the stage in front of random men.
The song ends as I wrap up my last dance move, and I pause, catching my breath. Before the next number starts, I take my time walking around the club, gathering my tips. Tristan’s song is up next, and I walk toward the bar. Preston is facing away from the crowd, his head hanging low. I haven’t seen him since the other night at Jensen’s house. He might have had a little too much to drink, which was why I was so damn thankful that Jonas took him home. As many times as I’ve hung out with Preston, I’ve never witnessed him consume that much.
“Hey,” I say, my eyes widening when Preston yelps loudly. “Shit, sorry. I didn’t mean to startle you.”
Preston turns around, his gaze red-tinted and watery as though he was crying. “No, it’s my bad. I shouldn’t have been facing away from the crowd.” He turns back around, grabbing me a water bottle from the fridge under the counter. “Here, you go.”
I grab onto his hand, holding him in place. “Are you okay?” I ask, my heart breaking at his sullen expression. Preston is the epitome of good. He’s always a bubbly, cheerful, albeit clumsy, guy, but for the past couple of weeks, I’ve watched him get sadder with each passing day.
“I’m okay.” He blows out a breath, closing his eyes. “I’ll be okay. I promise. You don’t have to worry about me.”
“You know, telling me not to be concerned about you is going to make me worry even more. I’m here if you ever need to talk, okay?” I squeeze his hand, hoping I can offer a sense of comfort to him.
“Okay, thank you. I’m gonna go grab something from the back.”
He turns and heads to the end of the bar, bumping into Jonas. I watch as Jonas bends his knees, trying to make eye contact with Preston, who refuses to look at him. Jonas’ hand finds Preston’s arm as Preston shakes his head roughly. I can’t hear their conversation, but Jonas appears to be getting agitated. It looks as though he’s attempting to plead with him, but Preston just keeps shaking his head. Jonas lets go of his arm, running his hands through his hair before grabbing hold of him again. Preston pushes at Jonas’ chest before disappearing through the back door, Jonas’ eyes staying trained on him for a few seconds after he’s left.
Jonas sees me staring at him and walks over to me. “Do you know what’s up with Preston?” he inquires, looking again at the spot Preston had just vacated.
Taking a sip of my cold water, I shrug. “No, he wouldn’t tell me. But it looked like he was crying.”
“Yeah, I saw the tears when he ran into me, but he kept it to himself. I’m worried about him.”
“Why?” I ask, tilting my head. “I didn’t realize you two were so close,” I admit. Shy and quiet, Preston mostly keeps to himself. I’ve only seen him and Jonas interact a handful of times, though.
“I’m protective of all of you. It’s my job. But I can’t avoid it if I see someone crying. I hate that, especially when I don’t know how to help. And this isn’t the first time I’ve caught him crying.”
“He’s been crying at work? Multiple times?” My heart sinks to my stomach at the thought of Preston being hurt. “Do you know why?”
“No, I’ve found him on two occasions and both times he blows it off and says he’s okay and that nothing is happening. I don’t believe him, but I can’t force him to speak to me. And like you said, it’s not like we’re close or anything.”
“I’m going to try to talk to him.”
I snatch my water off the bar top, then jump off the stool. I hurry down the length of the counter until I reach the door that leads to the stockroom. My heart breaks when I see Preston sitting on top of some boxes, his head in his hands. His body shakes with his soft sobs, and I step closer to him. His body locks up tight when he senses my presence, his eyes slowly lifting to look at me.
“You’re not okay. What’s wrong?” I ask, bending down next to him.
“I’m okay, or I will be. I’m fighting with Marvin. It happens sometimes. I just need some time, that’s all.”
“Fighting about what?” I ask, sliding into the spot beside him. I place my arm over his shoulder, and he curls into me, his body instantly sagging.
“I really don’t want to discuss it,” he whispers, wiping at his nose. He sniffles again, his head burrowing into my shirtless chest. “I hope I’m not getting your glitter all over my face right now,” he tries to joke, but his voice cracks on the last word.
“Hey,” I coo, rubbing his back. “I’m here, okay? If you ever need to talk. Please remember that. You’re not alone,” I tell him, holding him tighter. Fuck, what a shitty friend I’ve been. “Do you wanna come hang out with me tomorrow after my class? Maybe we can go get some chips and margaritas.”
“I’d like that. And thanks—for following me back here to check on me. I thought you were Jonas at first.”
“Ah, yes. Well, if it wasn’t me, then it would have been him. He’s worried too.”
Preston sits up straight, rolling his eyes. “When isn’t Jonas concerned?” He tries to laugh, but it comes out strained. He takes a deep breath, squaring his shoulders. “All right, I’m ready to get out there.” I clap him on the back as he stands up. I watch as he straightens his shirt. “Thanks, Lennox.”
We both exit the stockroom, Preston going right to the bar as I head left toward the dressing room. I’m hoping tomorrow I’ll be able to get Preston to talk to me more, but for now, I’ll let it go. I rush through taking off my makeup and changing into a pair of sweatpants and a sweatshirt. Jensen didn’t come to the club tonight because he said there was something he needed to do. Once I’m changed, I grab my stuff and then take off to Jensen’s house.
After pulling into Jensen’s driveway, I lock my car before bouncing up the steps to his entrance. I’m feeling giddy as I use the key he gave me. When I step into his house, it’s eerily quiet, the only soft light coming from down the hallway. I know Jensen isn’t asleep since I texted him before I left, letting him know I was on my way, and he responded. Flipping the bolt on the door, I take off my shoes and walk down the dark corridor.
My head turns as I check out the living room, kitchen, and bathroom on the lookout for Jensen. Realizing the only other place he could be is in his bedroom, I head in that direction, hoping he’s in there waiting for me. I walk through the doorway, the duffle bag in my grasp falling to the floor as I stop in my tracks. There, in all his naked glory, is Jensen, lying on his bed, jerking off. His eyes are on me as his one hand works his shaft. His muscles are taut, his pink nipples perfectly displayed, with the silver bars running through each one as his body strains as he shifts. With every motion, his tattooed sleeve makes him appear sinful. Fucking hell, he’s gorgeous. His hair is a mess, his hands obviously having found their way through it. He beckons me with a single finger, a smirk playing on his lips.
“Fuck, I’ve missed you,” he tells me, and damn, we’ve only been apart for a few hours, and I’ve ached for him like crazy.
“Back at ya…and I can tell—since you couldn’t even wait for me to get home.” Home. A word I’ve been using a lot when it comes to Jensen’s house. Even though it’s not my place, it feels as though it is. This is the one spot I want to lay my head down at night, with Jensen right by my side.
“I might have timed it perfectly so you would walk in on this,” he tells me, jerking his hand faster. “Something’s been on my mind for a while, but I’ve been too scared to say anything. But tonight I thought fuck it, maybe if I get naked when you come home, it’ll make things easier.”
He turns his head away from me, his neck and cheeks flushing a pretty red color. Jensen is far from shy. Hell, he’s the guy who made the first move, even when all he previously knew was what it was like to be with a woman. I keep one eye on him as I strip out of my clothes. It’s not long before my sweatpants, panties, and T-shirt are in a pile on the floor next to my bag. My body tingles with the need to touch him, so I do exactly that.
I crawl onto the bed, straddling his legs as his hand keeps working his cock. Knocking his hand out of the way, I take over, loving it when his body arches up. Not wanting him to forget what he was saying, I slow down my jerking to talk to him.
“What will make things easier?” I ask softly, my gaze going from his length to the happy trail on his stomach and then up his chest to his face.
He moans loudly, fucking into my fist, before he finally mutters, “Huh?”
“You said you’ve been thinking of something for a while, but were too scared to say anything. You can always confide in me, Jensen. I never want you to feel as though you have to keep things from me. Ever.”
“Fuck, sweetheart. Twist your hand. Yesss, just like that,” he rasps as I do exactly what he says. I’ve never been one to do what others tell me, but it’s different with Jensen. I love giving him control and letting him lead me to new heights.
“You’re still not telling me,” I sing-song, moving my hand more quickly.
“How can I think or speak with your hands on me?”
“Oh, huh, that’s right.” I quickly let go, smiling when he groans in protest. The way Jensen reacts to me is unlike anything I’ve ever experienced. Even when I give up control, there’s always a small part of Jensen that lets me take charge when I need to. Like right now, he knows all he has to do is talk to me in his deep, commanding voice, and I’ll be putty in his hands, but he knows I want this. I want to make him unravel for me, for him to spill all the little secrets he apparently has hidden away. I grip him again, this time tightening my hand on his dick. “Tell me, Jensen. What is it you’re so scared to tell me?”
“Question number 17. How would you feel about fucking me? Because…I—I want you to f-fuck me,” he breathes out, his body arching into the air, trying to fuck my hand roughly.
My mind goes blank, like a record player that’s scratching. “What?” I ask, my arm stopping as I lean back on his legs.
Jensen blows out a breath, then sits up, grabbing me around the waist and pulling me to him. I squeal loudly, loving that he can maneuver my body so easily. I nestle against him, running my fingers through his hair. “This is something I’ve been thinking about for a while. And I know you haven’t changed your mind about losing your virginity, but if you’re okay with it, I really want to know what it feels like to have you inside me.”
“Oh my god.” I squirm on his lap while his hands settle on my ass. He holds me in place as my mind races. Never did I think Jensen would want me to fuck him. I just always assumed I would be the one being fucked.
“I mean, we don’t have to do that, sweetheart. It was just an idea.”
“No!” I yell, kissing him roughly. “I want to, so bad. Fuck, I can’t even imagine what it would be like to be inside you. But are you sure? This isn’t something you can get back.”
“I’m sure. I also got myself ready for you.”
“You mean you—” my voice trails off as I look down as though I’ll be able to see how clean Jensen’s ass is.
He laughs, placing a kiss on my throat. “Yeah, it’s exactly what you’re thinking. Go get a condom and lube from the dresser. I can’t wait for you to fuck me.” He smacks my ass, the vibrations causing me to moan. “You like it when I do that?” He slaps my butt again, my dick getting rock hard against his stomach.
“There’s something you should know first.” I wait for him to give me a soft smile before I continue. “You know I’m a virgin, but I’ve never done this either. No one I’ve ever been with ever let me get this far. Or I never wanted to go to that extent with them. But with you…I want it all. So, if you’re sure, then I’d really like to stick my dick in you.”
Jensen rolls his eyes playfully, snickering at my words. “I’m sure, and I really love the idea of being your first. In all things, eventually.” I nod my head, knowing waiting for this was worth it. “Now be a good boy and do what you’re told. Fetch the lube and a condom.”
With shaky legs, I get up and walk over to the dresser. Oh my god, I can’t believe I’m about to fuck Jensen. Fuck, what if I suck at this? What if I don’t know what I’m doing and he can tell? I grab the condom and lube but stay still in my spot. I’ve watched a ton of porn, but what if it didn’t fully prepare me for this? Because let’s be honest, what we see in porn isn’t always real. And there’s no way I could do some of the things I’ve seen.
“Hey.” Jensen’s soothing voice cuts through all my downward-spiral thoughts and I turn to face him. “We’ll figure it out together, okay?”
“Okay,” I tell him, gripping the supplies tightly as I make my way back to him. “Together.”