20. Jensen
20
JENSEN
My heart beats rapidly against my chest, my nerves picking up. Deciding to give my body to Lennox was a no-brainer. It’s something I’ve wanted for a little while now. But since determining I needed to talk with Nick, there’s been this little voice in the back of my head telling me to prepare for the worst. I would never tell Lennox he has to choose between Nick and me, and if Nick forces him to pick, I won’t let him select me. So I want to give him all of me while I still can. To show him how much I love him, because fuck, I really do.
Lennox walks over to me, his hands shaky slightly. He tosses the supplies onto the bed, before blanketing my body with his. “Since we’re both flying into this blind, can I be honest and say I have no idea what position would be the easiest?”
I snicker, wrapping my arms around his waist. The feeling of him in my embrace is everything. How his fingers play with my nipple rings, or how he ever so slightly rubs his fingertips over my skin, leaving goosebumps in their wake. “Let’s just try to figure out what works best for us.”
“Okay,” he sits up, snatching the bottle of lube off the sheets. “I know we need to work you open first. Do you want to do it or me?”
“You.”
He nods his head, uncapping the lube. After he drizzles some onto his fingers, I pull my legs back, letting him look at everything I have to offer. His dick jerks and a drop of precum oozes from his slit as he stares at my hole.
“It’s so pretty,” he whispers, his thumb coming out to rub circles on my rim. “Are you ready?”
I give him the go-ahead, and tell him I’m ready. He continues rubbing at my pucker, getting it loose before he tries to insert a finger. It’s different at first, not painful, but more so weird. I’ve never stuck anything up there before, so I’m thankful he’s taking his time to open me up slowly. Once he inserts the initial digit, the pressure loosens, and I start feeling how incredible it is. That is, until he moves up to two and the discomfort starts coming back. I close my eyes, trying to regulate my breathing as his fingers find the bundle of nerves within that has me moaning and arching off the bed.
Lennox whimpers, my head whipping in his direction. “I can’t fucking believe we’re doing this right now. I’m inside you, Jensen. Yes, it’s only my fingers at this moment, but in a few minutes, it’ll be my cock, and oh my god, what if I don’t last long? What if I come in like thirty seconds? I really hope I don’t blow my load too early.”
“Sweetheart,” I tell him, trying to get his attention off his rambling. “Focus on what you’re doing. And even if you shoot off in thirty seconds, it’ll be the best half minute. And it’ll give us something to work on, to beat for the next time.”
Lennox giggles, inserting a third finger. “Only you can make me laugh about coming early.”
He quiets down as he concentrates on fingering me again. After a few minutes of working me open, he takes the condom and rolls it down his shaft. My body shakes, but my mind is calm knowing that Lennox is the one who’s going to be fucking me.
“Do you want to do it like this?” he asks, staring down at my position. I’m lying on my back on full display for him.
“I wanna see you,” I admit, my hands coming out to rub against his stomach as he sits in front of me.
Lennox blows out a breath and then lines his shaft up with my hole. “Breathe out for me. And please let me know if it hurts and I’ll stop.”
“Lennox, I’m fine. Now get your dick in me.”
“Topping from the bottom I see.” He smiles but does as I say, pushing into me.
It burns at first, his dick a lot thicker than his fingers. I grab hold of his shoulders, squeezing my eyes shut. I don’t want him to stop, but holy shit, this is strange. He pushes in farther, taking his time as inch after inch finds its way in. I’ve never felt so full before, feeling Lennox in me.
“Wow,” he whispers as he slides to the hilt. He pauses to let me adjust, leaning down to kiss my chest. “Yeah, I’m not going to last very long. I’ve never felt this before; how warm and tight it is. It’s like my dick is in paradise right now. I’m probably not making any sense, but this is extraordinary. I wonder what it’ll feel like if I do this?” He gives an experimental thrust, hitting the spot that lights me up. “Oh my god, yes, that feels so good.”
“Lennox, I need you to move. Not once, but multiple times. Fuck me, baby.” I slap his ass again, getting him to move. He pulls back before pushing back in until he finally picks up the pace, fucking into me. “Just like that, don’t stop. I want you to fuck me so hard, I scream your name. Can you do that, sweetheart? Fuck, me so deeply, I’ll be feeling you for days?”
“Oh god,” he moans, thrusting wildly. A sheen of sweat covers his chest, and I lean up, licking across it. “Oh hell, do that again.” I hum happily, licking his torso again.
When my tongue reaches his nipple, Lennox bucks like wild, hitting my prostate over and over. “Hell yes, sweetheart. Fuck, you’re such a slut for it, aren’t you? A fucking slut loving having your cock in my hole. I bet all you can think about is filling me up. Stuffing me so full of your cum, I leak for days.” I grab onto my dick, squeezing the base, trying to stop my orgasm, but it’s no use. My balls draw up, tightening, and I unleash all over my stomach, my limp dick falling in a puddle of my cum. “Fucking hell, Lennox. You fuck me so damn good. Look at how much you made me come, sweetheart.” Lennox looks down, whimpering when he sees the mess I made. I drag my thumb through the cum, gathering some onto the tip. I place it in front of Lennox’s mouth, telling him he’s a good boy when he opens his mouth wide. My finger goes in, letting him lick and nibble on my thumb. He hums happily around the digit, his thrusting stopping momentarily. “Nuh-uh,” I chide him. “When did I say you could stop fucking me? Keep moving.”
Lennox obeys my commands, picking up the pace and ramming into my hole. He’s losing himself to the pleasure and I love seeing him let go. It only takes a few more shoves before he’s finding his own release.
He breathes heavily as he crashes face-first into my chest. “Oh god, that was so good. The best. I can’t wait to do it again.” My cock jerks against his stomach and Lennox laughs. “Okay, not that soon. But I’m gonna want another go at it. If you enjoyed it.”
“I more than enjoyed it. It was everything I thought it would be and more.” I wiggle in my spot, wincing when I feel my sore hole. “I, uh, I don’t think I’m up to it again tonight. But we will be repeating it.”
Lennox sits up, taking off the condom and tossing it into the trash. He grabs a shirt off the floor, using it to clean up my stomach. “Even when you bottom, you’re so commanding. I love it, the way you can tell me what to do, especially with my cock in you.”
“I’m glad I could please you,” I joke, pulling his warm body close to me. I turn him over, cuddling behind him. “Was that okay?”
“It was more than okay. It was perfect and everything I wanted to happen. Thank you for trusting me with your body.” He pulls my arm around his waist, squeezing my hand.
Lennox starts drifting to sleep in my arms as I hold on to him tightly. I kiss the back of his head, then close my own eyes. Fuck, I really hope I get to keep him.
I take off my helmet, staring up at the door to Nick’s place. I didn’t call him before I came, deciding it would be better to show up unannounced versus calling him and him shutting me out. Going this long without talking to Nick has been heartbreaking. When I first started seeing Lennox, I worried about telling Nick, not because he would freak out about me seeing his brother, but more so that the Jensen he knew all his life was a straight man who dated women. I thought he would be more freaked out about me dating a man than dating his brother.
Fuck, was I wrong.
I truly didn’t expect him to flip out and disappear, which should have been a concern of mine, but I was happy. For the first time in years, my life didn’t seem so boring. Lennox brought a brightness to it that had been missing for a while. It was like I was going through life day by day in black and white, but once I saw Lennox on that stage… He’d blasted my world into color. I’ve not only learned more about myself from being with him, but I’ve opened myself up to doing things I never thought I would do before. Like my art. It’s always been something that’s sat in the back of my mind, but in the past few weeks, I’ve drawn more than I have in years. My creativity has been knocked wide open and I’m excited to see what can come from it.
My eyes scan up and down his quiet street. Well, shit. At least if he kicks my ass, there will be no one to witness it. I glance at my shoes, making sure they’re still tied, then zip my jacket up, before zipping it back down. I’m stalling myself and I know it.
Fuck it.
Swinging my leg over my bike, I grab my helmet and make sure my motorcycle is turned off before turning back toward the front of Nick’s door. My eyes widen when I see Nick standing on the porch, his arms crossed, a menacing look on his face. Nick is about the same size as me, six-foot-one, and muscular, but whereas I barely work out, he goes to the gym daily.
I walk up to his door, maintaining eye contact with him the whole time. “We need to talk.”
“The time to talk was before you started hooking up with my brother. Not once you got caught.”
Okay, so he’s definitely still pissed. But I know Nick, and once I explain everything to him, he’ll start thawing.
Hopefully.
“You’re 100% correct. I’m rectifying that now. Please. Can we talk?” I beg, not caring if I sound pathetic. I’m not only doing this for myself but also for Lennox.
“Whatever. You have five minutes.”
He leads me into his house, and I follow him toward his living room. He takes a spot in his recliner while I sit across from him on the couch. We’re staring at one another, the silence extremely uncomfortable. Things have never been like this between us. I don’t know how to start or what to say.
Glancing at my hands, I wring them together. “I’m sorry.” I tell him, looking up into his eyes when he scoffs loudly. “Honestly, I am. I didn’t plan this. It sort of just happened. I can’t tell you everything; a lot of it is Lennox’s story to reveal. But I can tell you one thing.” I wait until he looks me in the eye before I keep talking. “Nick, I love him. I truly do. There’s something different about him. He makes me incredibly happy.”
Nick scrubs his hands down his face, sighing loudly. “I don’t get it. I thought you were straight. You’ve never talked about dating a man before and I’ve never seen you with any other guys, either.”
“Lennox is the first man I’ve been with. I honestly never suspected I was attracted to men before, not until him. I saw him differently one day, and that was it; I was a goner. And I’m not lying when I tell you it wasn’t something that’s happened in the past. It was truly one night that changed everything. I don’t think you want me to get into too much detail.”
Nick puts his hand up, stopping my word vomit. “I refuse to let him get hurt. Fuck, I don’t want you to suffer, either. This is hard for me. I love you both so much. How do you know you’re not going to wake up one day and decide you want to go back to dating women? Lennox has already had a ton of bad luck with men. And I’m really fucking hurt, Jensen. Neither of you thought to tell me? You both wanted to keep it a secret.”
“No. We both intended to tell you. Hell, the day you caught us is when we were planning to come talk to you about everything. But at first, yeah, we hoped to keep it hidden. Why cause unnecessary drama when we didn’t have a clue about what was really going on or what could happen in the future?”
“I don’t know what to say. I’m pissed and hurt. You’re my best friend, and he’s my brother. This could be awkward as fuck.”
We sit in silence for a few seconds until I attempt to break the ice again. “I know we went about this the wrong way. But I miss you and I’m positive that Lennox misses you. Can you please try to forgive us? Or, at the very least, try to talk to Lennox?”
“Yeah, man. I’ll get in touch with Lennox. This might take me some time to come around. I’m sorry.”
“I get it. Thanks for talking with me.”
Nick nods his head, and I take that as my cue to leave. I don’t want to push him by forcing him to converse with me more. Hell, I’m lucky he even let me in his house to begin with. I stand up, pretending to dust off my jeans before I look at him again. “He’ll be at my place tonight and he usually comes by after class if you want to speak with him. Please talk to him, Nick. He misses you.”
With those last words, I walk out of his living room and go toward my bike. It’s a beautiful day outside, not too cold, just a slight breeze with the sun shining brightly. I pull out my phone, seeing that Lennox is still at the restaurant with Preston. Knowing he’s going to be a while longer, I decide to take my bike out onto the road. I need to clear my head after talking with Nick. I know the ball is in his court now and I can only hope he takes it.