Chapter 17
I pace the floor in my room, my heart pounding in my chest as Carina and I argue about her suggestion to have Sienna as her handmaiden. I still can’t wrap my head around it.
“How could you even suggest such a thing?” I demand, my voice shaking with fury.
Carina stares at me, her eyes filled with judgment, and for a second, I actually thought she truly did have feelings for me.
“Xandros, I’m trying to be understanding and be merciful. Allowing her to be my handmaiden will let you keep your mate close while we maintain the alliances between our families.”
I grit my teeth, torn between my love for Sienna and the hatred I feel for her parents. She’s the daughter of monsters, and yet, the bond between us is undeniable.
“I can’t believe she’s the daughter of the people who destroyed my mother, destroyed me,” I argue, my voice heavy with emotion.
Carina sighs, placing a hand on my arm. “I know, Xandros. But doing this will allow you to remain strong and our marriage to go ahead. Only a few people will know of her existence.”
I stare at her.
“Those who know we can force quiet.”
I shake my head, struggling with the conflicting emotions swirling inside me. “How can I accept that, knowing the truth about her family? How can I deny her when she is in front of me?”
Carina’s eyes fill with tears as she pleads, “Please, Xandros, we can find a way to make this work.” I stare at her. This woman never shows emotion, yet the idea of me canceling the wedding seems to petrify her.
As I’m about to respond, a crippling pain tears through me, stemming from the mate bond. The bond strengthens beyond comprehension, and the pain is so intense it brings me to my knees.
Carina rushes to my side, her eyes filled with concern. “Xandros, are you okay? What’s happening?”
I gasp for breath, struggling to speak. “The mate bond… Something’s wrong.”
Carina’s eyes widen when she looks out the window. “The full moon is tonight, Xandros. She must be shifting for the first time.”
My heart races with panic at the thought of Sienna going through such a transformation alone. Carina bites her lip, then speaks softly, “Go… go be with her.”
I stare at her in shock, noticing a single tear rolling down her cheek. “Carina?”
“I get it, Xandros,” she says, her voice trembling. “I understand, and I may not like it, but it can’t be helped. It’s fine. Just go. I’m going to take a shower, anyway.”
Torn by her strange actions and the need to be with my mate, I hesitate for a moment before making my decision. I rush to the dungeons, finding Sienna shifting back into her human form, naked and covered in blood from her painful transformation.
Her head snaps up as I enter, her eyes glowing a fluorescent green.
She looks desperate, longing to touch me, yet all I can see when I look at her is the face of the woman who destroyed my mother.
The memory of that betrayal cuts through me like a knife, and I struggle to contain the anger bubbling inside me.
I speak coldly, trying to ignore my heartache.
“You’ll be brought back to the castle tomorrow, and there will be rules.” My voice is harsher than intended.
“Please, Xandros, please don’t leave me,” Sienna begs as I turn to leave.
Turning back to look at her, the desperation on her face…
I can’t stand the sight of her broken form, so I open her cell door.
She flinches, moving away from me despite the desire to touch me that I can feel emanating from her.
“Get up,” I order, stepping back out of the cell. She hesitates for a moment before finally standing and moving toward the door.
“Now! Before I change my mind,” I snap, and she moves faster than I’ve ever seen her move before.
As she rushes toward me, she wraps her arms around me, and I can’t deny the feeling of comfort and warmth her embrace brings.
The warmth of her body against mine is both soothing and electrifying, but the ghost of her family’s actions haunts me.
I start to wrap my arms around her in return, but the memory of her family’s betrayal stops me. Gripping her hair, I shove her away.
“I didn’t say you could touch me,” I growl, turning away and walking up the stairs.
“I’m naked,” she protests, her voice trembling.
I pause for a moment, my heart aching at the sight of her vulnerable state. Then, the anger and hurt resurface, fueling my resolve. “Not my problem,” I tell her coldly, and I keep walking. If I give in to her, my mother will see it as special treatment and punish her worse than I am right now.
Sienna hesitates, then follows me with tears streaming down her face.
As we climb the stairs, the weight of my decision weighs heavily on my chest, my heart a tangled mess of emotions.
I know I’m hurting her, but my own pain and fear of what my mother will do have me conflicted.
I’m trapped in a storm of conflicting feelings—love and hate, desire and fear, longing and anger.
When we reach the top of the stairs, I glance back at her, taking in the sight of her tear-streaked, filthy face, her eyes pleading for understanding and mercy.
I want to reach out and comfort her, to tell her everything will be alright.
The face of her mother, the woman responsible for my family’s suffering, flashes in my mind, along with the tortured look on my mother’s face when we found my aunt also does, and I can’t bring myself to do it.
“You’ll have a room in the castle,” I say, my voice strained.
Sienna’s eyes fill with tears, and she nods in acceptance. I watch her for a moment, my heart breaking with every tear that falls, knowing I am the one causing her pain. The scars of the past run too deep, and my loving her would put her at risk.