Chapter 20
I stare at the flickering flames in the fireplace, hoping they will stay lit for once, when Xandros’s voice interrupts my thoughts, and I feel his hands on my shoulders at the same time the fire dies.
“Can you start the fire first?” I ask.
“I’m not here to start the fire,” he responds.
“It’s freezing in here. If you want something, then so do I. Start the fire!” I snap, my patience wearing thin. Xandros growls in response.
He pulls me up from my spot on the floor and closer; I push him away, tears burning in my eyes. I’m nothing but a toy to him. He has made that abundantly clear.
“What do you want, Xandros?” I ask sternly; my voice filled with defiance.
“You know what I want,” he responds coldly
His words feel like a slap in the face, bringing me back to reality. I have nothing to give him, no love, no affection, nothing.
“I don’t have anything for you, Xandros,” I say, my voice trembling with anger. “So, just leave.”
He steps closer, his eyes dark and intense. I feel his breath on my face and his heat radiating from his body. I tense, preparing for a fight.
“You think you can defy me?” he questions, his eyes narrowing.
I roll my eyes, knowing deep down I can’t defy him if he orders me. “Then you’re wasting your time. I’m not giving you what you want until you start the fire,” I say firmly. “If you don’t, I have nothing to give you.”
Xandros’s jaw clenches, and I can see the rage burning in his eyes. He grabs my wrist, his fingers digging into my skin.
“You will give me what I want,” he says menacingly.
I yank my arm away and step back, my heart pounding with fear. Still I refuse to back down.
“No, Xandros,” I say, my voice quivering with what is left of the tiny spark of courage. “I won’t.”
He grabs me again, pulling me close with anger etched on his face, his hands on my waist. I try to break free, it’s futile, he’s too strong.
“You will give me what I want; you don’t get to say no to me,” he growls.
He rips my clothes off, forcing me onto the bed, and I fight him, trying to push him away when suddenly he slaps me hard across the face.
My cheek burns furiously, and I stop struggling, go limp, and stare blankly at the ceiling.
Xandros kisses me, his lips hard against mine.
I don’t kiss him back. He pulls away and stares down at me, his eyes burning with anger.
“What are you doing?” he snarls at me. I say nothing, just stare off blankly.
Xandros growls and punches the bed beside my head.
I flinch, fear coursing through my veins.
He grabs my arms and pins me to the mattress, his lips crashing against mine.
I try to growl at him, but no sound comes out.
He pulls away, his eyes filled with rage. So I close my eyes, and remain limp.
I shake my head and feel tears stinging my eyes. I can’t do it anymore, fighting him every night with no result. “Sienna?”
“Just get it over with,” my voice is robotic, defeated. He pulls the rest of my clothes off and pushes between my legs. He growls menacingly. “Why are you lying like that? Do something!” I turn my face away from him, refusing to look at him. He growls again and punches the bed once and then twice.
“I’ll start the fire,” he snaps.
I don’t respond. Why is it so difficult for him to just do one small thing? It’s not like I asked for much. This room is like a freezer. He growls when I don’t respond, pushing off the bed and climbing off me. He stares at me for a long moment, his jaw clenched and his eyes unreadable.
“If you want sex,” I say firmly, pointing to the fireplace behind me.
“Start the fire first.” He growls, then turns and stalks over to the fireplace, striking a match as he kneels.
I take in a deep breath of relief as the flames catch life around us, filling the room with warmth.
Hoping tonight, I might actually get some proper sleep without being awoken by the cold.
For a short second, I felt triumphant, a small victory.
Until he turns around, his aura is menacing, angry that I dared demand anything from him.
As I attempt to get up to give him what he came here for, he shoves me back onto the bed with so much force it nearly knocks the air out of my lungs.
He grips my hips and flips me onto my stomach.
My bond screams to touch him, and is only amplified when he grabs my hips, yanking me to the end of the bed.
“Xandros?”
“No, I did what you asked!” he snarls, shoving inside me.
His grip is like a vice, his hands bruising my hips as he thrusts harder and harder.
His breathing is shallow, and his eyes I can feel boring into the back of my head.
I try to close my eyes and block out the pain.
It is impossible. His body is like a machine, mercilessly pounding against me.
Tears streak down my face, if he notices he doesn’t seem to care.
He just keeps going, faster and faster, until he finally reaches his climax and then pulls away without another word.
For a few seconds, I lay there, my body trembling from exhaustion and relief that it’s over.
He has gotten what he wanted, to him, it is nothing more than a physical release, a transaction of sorts.
He is angry and rough, punishing me for not giving him the affection he craved. When he’s done, he turns to leave.
“I want to watch TV,” I blurt. “This room is too quiet. And I would like to be allowed out of here.”
Xandros growls, stopping at the door, his entire body tense
“You start work tomorrow as Carina’s maid,” he says, his voice cold and cruel. He slams the door shut and leaves me alone in the room, once again feeling used and worthless.
I stare at the door, unsure of what to do next.
Xandros had left me here, in this cold, dark room.
The walls seem to be closing in on me, suffocating me with their emptiness.
I shiver, pulling the thin blanket tighter around me.
The only source of light is a small flickering fireplace, casting eerie shadows across the room.
I try to push away the memories of Xandros’s touch, his vice-like hands on my body.
I try to forget how cold and rough he was.
My mind wants to forget, my body can still feel his touch, his scent lingering in the room, and now he’s gone.
My stupid bond—the one I detest so much—cries for the monster.
Death would have been kinder than putting up with this misery daily.
Used as he seeks, and left broken a little more each time he visits.