Chapter 7
CHAPTER SEVEN
A NIGHT IN THE LIFE
WESTON
I stay up until the few shipments that were being delivered tonight arrive at the front gate and Joey calls to let me know. I walk out there instead of having him or Seth bring the packages to the house. Not that they’d mind—my security team is exceptional. But after being in the hospital yesterday and today, I have a lot of pent-up energy. Once I get these things put away, I’ll go work out a while and then sleep like the dead. I’m exhausted.
All is quiet when I go downstairs and set the formula, diapers, wipes, and bottle warmer on the island so Sadie can see them. It takes a minute to figure out the bottle warmer, but it should be ready to go when she needs it. I didn’t argue when Sadie said she’d sleep down here with the baby. I’m choosing my battles. But I’d like to move the baby’s room upstairs once his furniture arrives. Hopefully, by then I’ll know him better and he’ll be used to me too.
Earlier, Caleb started crying before I’d finished showing Sadie the house. I think all that’s left is the gym…and the grounds, the pool, and the pool house. The gym is in the basement, but it’s far enough from the bedrooms that I don’t think she’ll hear anything. Just in case, I keep my music off. We’ll have to test it out later and see what she can hear from her room.
I’ve worked out an hour when I hear something. Oh shit. Caleb’s crying…more like wailing. It gets louder as I put the weights in place and rush out of the room.
I hear Sadie trying to soothe him, but it doesn’t change, and I tap on the door.
“Sadie? Do you need a bottle?” I ask.
She opens the door and we both freeze, staring at each other for a few long seconds. She’s hardly wearing anything and I glance down to see if my dick is out or something and realize I’m not wearing much either.
“The formula came. It’s on the counter. I could mix that up or use what’s in the freezer,” I say.
Her eyes finally meet mine, and she nods.
I hurry to the bar and grab the packets of breast milk we put in the freezer last night. There’s not much left, but enough for a few more bottles. She follows me, trying to put her arms through her zip-up hoodie while holding Caleb.
“Should I use two of these?” I ask, holding up the packets.
“Yeah.” She changes positions with Caleb and he cries harder, and she cries right along with him.
It’s heartbreaking.
Once the bottle is ready, I hand it to her and wipe my face and chest with a towel and throw on the shirt that I’d tossed on the bar when I came running. Caleb doesn’t calm down. If anything, it makes him madder when Sadie tries to give him the bottle.
“He’s missing Sasha,” she whispers. “I don’t know what to do.”
“Would it help if I try?”
She doesn’t look like she wants to hand him over, but she does anyway.
“I stink, sorry. I was working out when I heard him.” I awkwardly turn Caleb until it’s a little more comfortable and then try to give him the bottle.
No go.
I start walking with him, finally turning him so he’s facing out, his head in the crook of my arm. His cries quieten, but they don’t stop. I bounce, I rock, and when nothing else works, I start singing “Counting Stars” by OneRepublic and the second time I get to the line about losing sleep , I give it a little extra something and Caleb takes a deep, shaky breath and looks up at me, listening.
The next time through his little fist waves against my chest before it goes in his mouth, and I didn’t know my heart could quadruple in size just like that. I also didn’t know how a whole slew of worries would instantly take over as soon as I became a father.
How will I fuck this up?
What if I can’t make him happy?
I can barely take care of me, how am I supposed to be responsible for another human?
Of course, since the song made him stop crying, I’m hesitant to stop singing, so I go through the whole thing again and when I pause, he looks up like yes , you , strange singing man , continue .
“I’m your dad,” I sing and his little fists jump out. “And you are wide awake, aren’t you?”
I turn and see Sadie on the couch. I can’t read her expression, but she’s stopped crying, so that seems positive. The bottle is next to her.
“Should I keep going?” I ask, tilting my head toward the bottle.
“It’s worth a try.” She holds the bottle out for me and when I put it near Caleb’s lips, he takes it.
Sadie and I both exhale in relief.
He drinks and drinks and when he gets fidgety, Sadie reminds me to burp him. He lets out a winner. I don’t think he’s burped once that I haven’t laughed. This baby shit is funny . He finishes his bottle and within minutes, there’s an explosion in his pants.
I laugh again, but this one is tinged with more horror than humor. The literal baby shit is not so funny.
“You’re doing such a good job, you may as well take it,” Sadie says, smirking.
“Oh, now you want me to be involved,” I joke.
She flinches.
“Too soon?”
She stares at me like she can’t figure me out, but the stink that’s coming out of this precious baby is not something that either one of us can ignore, so we both jump into action. She goes to grab the wipes and diapers, and I grab one of his little blankets that we brought from their place and look around for a softer place to lay it.
“No hardwood floor for you, no sir,” I tell him, laying the blanket out on the area rug.
I get him unsnapped which is tricky with his kicking legs and my long sausage fingers. I swear, he’s so tiny.
“How much did he weigh when he was born?” I ask when she tosses the diaper next to me. She sits on the floor next to him, and he grips her finger.
“He was ten pounds, four ounces, and twenty-one inches long,” she says, smiling down at him.
“Wow. He’s so little. What did they say he weighed last night? Fourteen pounds, two ounces?”
She snorts. “Ten pounds is big for a newborn. Sasha was huge and miserable.” Her cheeks flush and she shakes her head like she wishes she could take it back.
I don’t want to say anything that will make her stop talking, so I’m quiet. But then I look down and see something brown running down Caleb’s leg.
“No,” I whisper.
Sadie looks down and sucks in a breath between her teeth.
“I’m going in,” I say out loud. Mostly to encourage myself.
I carefully undo the diaper and let’s just say, it is not pretty. There are crevices that I’ve never thought about and I try to thoroughly clean each one. It’s not easy, but I do it and I’m feeling pretty fucking proud of myself when warm liquid assaults my chin and nose and cheeks out of nowhere.
“The fuck ?” I sputter, frantically reaching for the wipes.
Sadie starts laughing and Caleb looks pleased with himself.
“Did he just pee on me?”
“They do that when you don’t cover them up,” she says, hiding her laugh behind her fist.
“How the hell do I cover him up when I’m dealing with the poo from the bowels of hell?”
She chokes as she laughs and Caleb coos, laughing too.
“Oh, you think that’s funny, huh,” I say, unable to resist smiling at him. “You’re all happy now…now that you’ve exorcised all that is foul and stinky.”
He lets out a hiccupy laugh, and I’m laughing now too.
“Yeah, you have a powerful stank, but you sure are cute,” I tell him.
I manage to get his diaper and jammies back on him without having any other bodily fluids touch me, so I call it a win.
“Is he always this bright-eyed at midnight?”
She nods. “Pretty much. I usually get home from work between eleven thirty and midnight, and if he’s not awake then, he usually is by one. His days and nights are still mixed up.”
“How do we switch it around?”
She lifts her eyebrows. “I wish I knew.”
I pick Caleb up and move to the couch. Sadie stays on the floor nearby, pulling the throw I keep on the couch over her long legs.
“Where do you work?”
“Hanson’s Steakhouse.”
“Oh, I like that place. My family used to go there for special occasions sometimes.”
She nods. “I always wanted to go there for special occasions, so when I got a job there, I was stoked.”
I glance at her, wanting to ask questions, wanting to know more about her and her family, but it still feels like too much, too soon. It’s already weird that she’s here, that I have a baby I didn’t know about. It’s not going to be comfortable between us overnight.
“I can sit up with him if you want to get some sleep,” I tell her.
“Aren’t you tired? We didn’t sleep much last night.”
“Yeah, but this is nice. He’s being super chill at the moment.” I smile down at him. “Oh, I was supposed to swaddle him. Maybe he’d like that.”
I try to do it a couple times and get it close but not as tight and perfect as those nurses in the hospital. Once he’s swaddled though, his eyes drift closed and Sadie looks surprised.
“We could try laying him back in the bed,” she whispers.
I nod. I like holding him, but maybe he’ll sleep better in his bed. We go into her room and I carefully lower him into the bed, easing away so slowly. He squeaks and then he lets out a wail. Sadie and I look at each other in defeat and I pick him back up.
He quietens instantly which I’m not gonna lie, it does something to me.
“Sorry, I guess that wasn’t my best idea,” she whispers.
“Sleep. I’ll take him,” I say.
She looks worried. “Let me know if you need help…”
I nod. “I will.”
She watches us walk back into the open space and when I stretch out on the couch with Caleb on my chest, she finally shuts the door.
“Come on, kiddo. Let’s try out this sleeping thing. What do you think?”
He yawns and makes little noises, and it’s not long before he closes his eyes and we sleep.
For maybe an hour.
By the time seven rolls around and we’ve been up and down more times than I can remember, I’m more exhausted than a brutal day of training and playing an intense game combined .
How do people do this?