Chapter 23
CHAPTER TWENTY-THREE
BEAUTIFUL THINGS
WESTON
The press conference is painful. I knew it would be.
I try to keep it short and simple.
“Due to tragic circumstances, I’ve kept the news of my son quiet. His mother died in a car accident in February, and out of respect for her family and this time of grieving, I’d ask that the attention be kept off of them. Becoming a dad is not without challenges, but my son has quickly become the light of my life. I never thought I could love anything more than my family and football, but this little boy has crept into my heart. Now I know what all my friends meant when they said having kids would change my life in the best way. It’s a love like I’ve never known.”
The questions start as soon as I pause.
“Who is the woman you’ve been seen with recently?”
“Were you in a relationship with your child’s mother?”
I take a deep breath.
“No, I was not in a relationship with his mother. The woman I’ve been seen with recently is my child’s aunt, his mom’s sister. We’re raising him together.”
“Are you romantically involved with her?”
Joan lifts her hand and I’ve never been so grateful for my publicist. She flew in from California for this and to think I almost tried to talk her out of coming. She’s about five feet and a hundred pounds soaking wet, and she can put the fear of God into even the most aggressive reporters.
“That’s all we have time for today. Thank you,” she says.
The questions keep coming as I walk out of the room and I don’t relax until we’re back in the car. Joan had her driver pick me up at the house so we could discuss what I could and couldn’t say at the press conference.
“That went as well as it could possibly go,” she says. “You know you just fueled everyone’s curiosity by keeping it a secret.”
“I’m just now starting to feel human again since finding out I had a son. The exhaustion is no joke, and I was in shock. Trust me, the last thing I was trying to do was fuel curiosity.”
“I know.” She sighs and pats my hand before lifting her huge black-framed glasses to peer at me. “Just listen to me next time, okay?”
“Okay.”
“I’m not sure it was a good idea to say you weren’t in a relationship with Sasha,” she says. “You went off the script there.” She takes off her glasses and looks out the window. “Unless there’s something you want to tell me about this other girl, her sister. What is her name?”
“Sadie.”
She turns to face me. “And are you in a romantic relationship with her?”
I think about kissing her last night, watching her fall apart, and it just makes me crave more of her. “No.”
She makes a face and points at me with her glasses. “That was too long of a pause for me to believe you.”
My head falls back against the headrest and I groan. “We’re not.” It still sounds weak, so I add, “But she could be someone who makes me want to be.”
I turn my head sideways when Joan nudges me in the arm. Her eyes are bright and she’s smiling, which is rare. I roll my eyes and turn my head away from her again.
“This is a first, right?” she asks.
I don’t respond.
“You definitely did the right thing with what you said then. Still a touchy situation but less so. People could even wonder if Sasha was a surrogate for you and Sadie if we stay quiet about the details.”
I lift my head and glare at her. “No, we’re not going to lie about it. I don’t even know if anything more will develop with me and Sadie…but Sasha is Caleb’s mother. It would hurt her family if I tried to make it seem like anything other than that.”
“Okay, okay, got it,” she says, raising her hands. “Just keep your mouth shut on the details, okay? And for God’s sake, use protection.”
“I did…I always do. Things can still happen, as we’ve seen.” I straighten my tie, ready to get this suit off and ready to be done with this conversation.
“Easy, big guy. I’m on your side,” Joan says, patting my arm.
That’s about as sweet as Joan gets, so most of my anger fizzles out and I smile at her.
“Thanks, Joan. I wouldn’t want to try to navigate any of this without you.”
“You’re stuck with me, kid.” Her loud, throaty laugh fills the car. “And I like the sound of this Sadie. I wasn’t going to say anything until I heard how you felt, but the way you’re looking at her in those pictures...” Her eyes widen and her hands mimics an explosion. “You deserve to be happy. Don’t end up like me, old and alone, with nothing but work to warm your bed at night.”
“You’re timeless, Joan. And don’t you know we’re never too old to find love?”
“I don’t know who fed you that crap, but it sounds good.” She laughs.
We’re quiet for a while and she perks up when we reach Silver Hills.
“You know…I really like this town. I’m only ever here to see you, but I could get used to this place.”
“Do you have to hurry back to California? Stay and have dinner with us tonight.”
“I wish I could.” She pokes her lips out in a mock pout. “Maybe sometime soon, I’ll plan a few days here. If things keep progressing with your girl, I may need to come do more damage control.” She winks.
“She’s not my girl, but yeah, come anytime. You need to meet my son too.”
She waves her hand. “I’m sure he’s beautiful with you as his father, but me and babies go together like ice cream and bacon.” She shudders.
“I’ve actually had that combo and it’s not bad. You should give Caleb a try. Maybe he’ll surprise you.” I laugh at the expression on her face. “He’s surprised me. I never knew I could get attached so quickly to a little human.”
She sniffs and waves her glasses around right as we’re pulling up to my gate. “Whew. Got here in just the nick of time. Thought you might convince me to join a cult next. You’re persuasive, Weston Shaw.” She grins at me. “Don’t forget. Mouth shut. The fewer details said about… anything …the better. And you better not go falling in love without letting me know about it.”
I shake my head. “No one’s falling in love, slow your roll.” I get out of the car and lean back down. “Unless it’s you doing the love thing…then I’m all for it.”
“Oh, go on.” She laughs.
I shut the door and the car pulls away. I chat with the security guys for a few minutes before I walk inside. “Beautiful Things” by Benson Boone is playing through the sound system and when I round the corner, I see Sadie holding Caleb and twirling him around the living room. She’s graceful and wearing the biggest smile as Caleb laughs. They twirl around and around until she falls back on the couch with Caleb on top of her. He has the hiccups from laughing and Sadie leans up and hugs him.
“You’re making that poor boy laugh too hard.”
It’s not until I’ve heard Pam, Sadie’s mother, speak that I even realize she’s in the room too.
“It’s good for him,” I say.
They all turn to look at me, and Sadie pushes her hair back and sits up straighter. Caleb grins at me and bounces, and I go over and kiss the top of his head. I don’t know when I started this little ritual with him exactly…sometime during our long nights together, I think, but now I can’t resist doing it whenever I see him.
“Hi, Pam, good to see you.” I smile at her.
“You too,” she says, returning my smile.
“That was faster than I expected. How did it go?” Sadie asks.
I make a face. “My publicist was happy, so I guess it went well. She suggested that we not share details about anything.” I give Pam an apologetic look. “I’m sorry in advance if any of this comes back to you. I didn’t share Sasha’s name, but when asked about you,” I look at Sadie, “I did say you’re my child’s aunt and that we’re raising him together.”
Sadie looks flustered and she starts bouncing Caleb when he gets restless. “I’m surprised you said anything about me at all.”
“They asked about the woman with me in the photos…you.”
“Ahh.” Her cheeks are already flushed from dancing, but she fans her face as if she’s just now feeling the heat.
“And since I’m sure we’ll be seen together a lot more in the future, it seemed best that I be upfront about it.”
“Maybe it’s best if we’re not?” She looks up at me and it’s silent for a few beats while we stare at each other.
I can’t tell if she’s saying what she wants or asking me what I want.
“That wouldn’t be realistic,” I say finally. “We don’t need to avoid living our lives just because of what might be said about us.”
“Well, let me know if you change your mind,” she says.
“I won’t change my mind.” My tone is sharper than I intended, but fuck, I don’t even know what to say.
“Why don’t I go lay Caleb down for his nap?” Pam says. “He’s looking sleepy.”
Sadie kisses Caleb’s cheek and hands him to Pam. “Thanks, Mom.”
I kiss him too and Pam takes him upstairs.
“I’m sorry I snapped at you. I feel like an ass. If you don’t want to be seen with me, I’d understand.”
“You’re fine. It sounds like you’ve had a crazy day,” she says.
“It’s no excuse.” I lean my hands on the back of the couch and lower my face until we’re a foot apart. “There are parts of this life that aren’t the easiest,” I say.
She swallows hard.
“Off-season is like a summer vacation. It’ll get busier than it’s been the past month and a half before too long, but when I’m playing, I’ll be gone a lot. It’ll be a lot different than this.”
She blinks and she looks so damn pretty, it’s distracting. My eyes fall to her lips and she swallows again. I force myself to look in her eyes again.
“I guess I just want you to know what you’re getting into…and that this isn’t an accurate picture right now. The media can get intense. I’ve liked being in this bubble getting to know Caleb…and you. The people in the lives of the players…the women…can get hit pretty hard. I don’t want that for you, but I’m selfish enough that I don’t want you retreating either. At least not retreating from me.”
I lean back and run my hands through my hair, too much energy coursing through me. I need to work out for a few hours.
“I like where we are now, Sadie. I don’t want anything or anyone messing that up. I want to see…where it goes.”
Shit. I didn’t mean to say that last sentence, even though it’s how I feel.
My hand slides off the back of my neck and I sigh, waiting for her to say something.
“I like where we are too,” she says. “But don’t you think it’s normal that we’d get somewhat attached raising a baby together and living in the same house? We’re new to this and we’re relying on each other for a lot. We can’t mistake that for…anything more.”
“I’ve never felt anything close to what I felt last night when I kissed you,” I tell her.
Her mouth parts and she blinks, stunned silent for a few seconds.
“Maybe it’s best that I go stay in my apartment,” she says. “I can drive back and forth during the day.”
“What? No. Sadie, come on. I don’t want you to go. If you tell me that what happened last night didn’t mean anything to you, I’ll let this go and we don’t have to talk about it again.”
“I don’t want to talk about it again,” she says.
Well, fuck.
I guess that’s my answer.