Chapter 43
Forty-Three
Maddy had left the kitchen. Wandering aimlessly felt marginally better than sitting amongst gossiping caterers, even if she had no idea where she was going. Other than up.
The upper floors of Hawthorne Manor smelled of furniture polish. Maddy ran a hand along the bannister as she walked, letting her fingers brush over the carved wood.
From somewhere beneath her, she could hear the guests laughing and drinking, music thumping.
Toasting to a wedding that hadn’t happened.
Maddy wasn’t part of it. She wasn’t the bride anymore.
Not really. Not at this very moment. Because as far as she knew, the wedding wasn’t going to be rescued.
So long as she never found Ralph, or anyone else who could tell her it was back on, it was Schrodinger’s wedding.
Until then, Maddy might be a bride, or she might simply be a woman in a silly dress.
She stopped outside a window, looking down into the garden she’d fled earlier. The sunlight slanted across the lawn, now dotted with pieces of paper and strewn petals. It looked so much nicer without a wedding taking place on it.
Footsteps echoed behind her.
‘Maddy!’ Eva’s voice called.
Maddy turned, eyes wide. Eva had found her, face flushed, hair slightly out of place. Her hands were raised, empty, a gesture of peace.
Maddy’s brow creased. ‘You found me.’
‘Yeah, I’m sure you don’t want to see me right now,’ Eva said softly. ‘But if we’ve got any chance of making this day come out as planned, then I need to…’ She faltered, looking unsure. Then she straightened and stepped forward. ‘Look, I’m sorry. I need to tell you that I’m sorry.’
‘For the kiss?’ Maddy said, her voice angrier than she intended.
Eva swallowed. ‘Yes. For the kiss. And for… everything. I didn’t mean to make it complicated, but I…’ She broke off, exhaling heavily. ‘I just want to fix it. Make this, whatever it’s supposed to be… Right. The wedding. Everything.’
Maddy stared at her, stomach churning. She wanted to believe Eva could do it. That she could fix things. She always had. That was the thing about Eva. She solved problems. Could she really fix the trouble in Maddy right now? After she’d put it there?
Maddy stepped back, shaking her head. ‘Why did you have to do it?’
Eva sighed and didn’t answer.
‘This isn’t hypothetical. I need an answer,’ Maddy demanded.
Eva still didn’t answer, and in fact, looked a little scared. Maddy had never seen a nervous side of her. It was odd and appealing. But Maddy didn’t care if she was scared. She wouldn’t stop until she got an answer from the woman who was wrecking her life of late.
‘Well?! Why?! Answer me!’ Maddy shouted.
‘You kissed me first,’ Eva said with an insolent shrug.
Maddy couldn’t help but laugh at Eva trying to use a defence utilised by toddlers throughout history. ‘Really, that’s your excuse? I kissed you for like a second, and it wasn’t today. It wasn’t ten seconds before I was supposed to get married, was it? And it wasn’t like… that.’
‘You didn’t stop me,’ Eva pointed out. ‘You could have stopped me.’
‘In theory.’
Eva stepped forward again, then paused. ‘What do you mean, “In theory?” If you had wanted it to stop, you could have used the word “Stop.” Or pushed me off. Or just not responded to it…’
‘Yes, but I couldn’t really, could I?’
‘Why not?’
‘You know, don’t you? You must know by now.’
Eva froze.
Maddy’s hands clenched into fists at her sides. ‘I can’t… I can’t handle this. You have to go. I can’t be near you anymore.’
‘If you want me to,’ Eva agreed. ‘But I need to know, before I go, what is it that you think I know?’
Maddy looked at her. Her chest rose and fell rapidly. Her eyes glistened with tears she wouldn’t quite let out. ‘Look, if you’re not leaving, then I will.’
Before Eva could respond, Maddy turned and ran, the stairwell echoing with the rapid sound of her footsteps.
She thought that would be the end of the conversation. But then she heard Eva giving chase. Running after Maddy, calling after her, voice rising over the distant laughter from below. ‘Maddy! Wait! Please!’
Maddy picked up the pace, calling, ‘Stop chasing me, you bloody menace!’
‘I’m not letting you run off like this!’ Eva called back. ‘Not in those shoes!’
Maddy didn’t answer. Her breath came sharp and uneven as she turned another corner, the corridor stretching long and dim ahead of her. She slowed only when she realised that she couldn’t keep going. Not because Eva would catch her, but because there was nowhere left to go. Dead end.
She stopped.
A moment later, Eva caught up with her.
Maddy didn’t turn around. ‘You should go back downstairs,’ she said to the damask wallpaper.
‘I’m not leaving you like this.’
‘You should,’ Maddy said, more quietly. ‘There’s probably some caterer somewhere fucking up that only you can stop.’
‘I don’t care about that right now.’
Maddy let out a small, unsteady breath. ‘Well, I do. Or I’m supposed to. That’s the problem.’
There was a pause. Then Eva said, ‘You were going to say something.’
Maddy closed her eyes. ‘It doesn’t matter.’
‘It does to me.’
Maddy turned then, slowly. She was so bloody tired. The day was too long. Her life was too long.
‘I couldn’t stop you,’ she said, ‘because I didn’t want to.’
Maddy looked at Eva, searching her face for something. Something in her that said I can’t handle what you’re going to say.
Instead, Eva just stood there, very still.
‘And I think…’ Maddy started, then faltered. ‘I think that’s because—’
She broke off, pressing her lips together, like she’d gone too far already. Was this it? Was she going to say it? Was she going to think it?
Eva took a step closer, carefully, like she was approaching something fragile. ‘Because what?’
Maddy let out a breath that almost sounded like a laugh but wasn’t. ‘I don’t know how to say it without it sounding bigger than I can deal with right now.’
‘You can just say it,’ Eva said quietly.
Then, slowly, as if each word had to be chosen and understood at the same time: ‘Because I… I’m iron-deficient!’
Eva’s eyebrows shot up. ‘What?’
Maddy shook her head at her—Just gimme a second.
‘A few years ago, I was feeling so exhausted all the time, and I kept getting colds. So I went to the doctor, and she prescribed iron. And I suddenly felt right. My immune system kicked in again, and I had energy, and… That’s what happened when I met you.
Only I didn’t know I was missing anything until I got a big shot of you.
And then suddenly…’ Maddy stopped and sighed. ‘You’re exactly what I need, Eva.’