Chapter 44
Forty-Four
Eva felt like the wind had been knocked out of her. ‘I didn’t expect this.’
Maddy let out a weak, humourless laugh. ‘You and me both.’
‘No, I mean…’ Eva ran a hand through her hair, pacing once, then stopping again. ‘I thought I’d come up here, apologise, maybe get you back downstairs, wrestle this whole situation into something resembling a wedding, and instead… This.’
‘This?’ Maddy echoed.
There was a beat. Then Eva said, more carefully, ‘You need me?’
Maddy winced slightly. ‘When you repeat it like that, it sounds… unhinged.’
‘That’s not what I think,’ Eva said quickly.
Maddy looked at her, eyes wide with fear. ‘Then what do you think?’
‘I think I told you that you didn’t have to go and get married, and you made a choice,’ Eva told her. ‘And I took that choice seriously.’
From below, a cheer went up, followed by the unmistakable sound of someone attempting a speech. Glasses clinked. Someone whooped.
Maddy glanced instinctively toward the floor, as though she could see through it. ‘They’ve just carried on.’
‘Of course they have,’ Eva said. ‘Free alcohol and formal wear? They’ll be there all night.’
‘It was supposed to be my wedding,’ Maddy said.
Eva softened slightly. ‘It still can be.’
Maddy looked back at her sharply. ‘Can it?’
‘I think…’ Eva stopped, reconsidered. ‘I think there’s a version of today that still ends with you married, yes.’
‘To Adam.’
Eva didn’t answer. She was not sure how to go on. This was crazy. All of this was crazy.
Eva stepped closer again, not quite touching her, but close enough that she could feel the warmth of Maddy. ‘Maddy. What do you want to happen today?’
Maddy’s eyes dropped. ‘I don’t know,’ she admitted. ‘I thought I did. I really thought I did. It was simple. It was good. Adam is good for me.’
Eva didn’t agree with that. But it wasn’t the time to take a pickaxe to Adam. She wasn’t competing with him for Maddy. Eva wanted to… she didn’t know what she wanted, actually. She was still teetering on the brink.
‘But then… you,’ Maddy sighed.
Eva wanted to kiss Maddy very badly. But she wouldn’t. Not now. There were enough complications without her ending up taking the bride on a landing.
‘I didn’t mean for that to happen,’ Eva said after a moment.
‘I know.’
‘I really didn’t,’ Eva added. ‘I don’t do this. Not ever, and certainly not in the middle of someone else’s wedding.’
Maddy’s mouth quirked despite herself. ‘Well, that’s very comforting.’
Another cheer rose from below. Someone started clapping in rhythm.
‘God, they’re going to start dancing,’ Maddy muttered.
‘There’s probably an uncle warming up as we speak,’ Eva said.
Maddy let out a small laugh, then immediately pressed her lips together like she wasn’t allowed to find any of this funny.
‘This is a disaster,’ she said.
‘Yes,’ Eva agreed.
‘My wedding is collapsing in stages.’
‘Also, yes.’
‘And I’m standing here, having this conversation instead of literally anything else I’m supposed to be doing.’
Eva looked at her. Maddy looked back.
‘What am I supposed to do?’ Maddy demanded.
Eva hesitated. She always had an answer. She always knew what to do. But now…
‘I don’t know,’ she said quietly and honestly.
Maddy blinked. ‘That’s not very on brand for you.’
‘No,’ Eva said, a rueful edge to her voice. ‘It’s really not. What is on brand for me is getting you back down there. Making that third attempt happen.’ Her brow knitted. ‘But I can’t tell you whether you should go through with it,’ she finished.
‘Is there anything I need to know?’ Maddy asked, quite forceful suddenly.
‘What?’ Eva asked, abruptly scared.
‘Concerning this decision? Is there any more information that I should be working with?’
Eva thought it over. There were things she could say. Of course there were. But she shouldn’t. She wasn’t to be trusted anymore. She had accidentally uncaged a selfish animal who wanted to take what she wanted to take. Eva had to battle that animal back. It needed to be locked away.
‘Not at the present juncture,’ Eva said weakly.
Maddy looked deeply, existentially disappointed.
And then footsteps were coming. Coming at them, actually, at speed. Both of them turned as a figure appeared at the far end of the corridor. Ralph.
‘There you are!’ he said, relief flooding his face as he spotted them. ‘We’ve been looking everywhere.’
Eva stepped back from Maddy without realising it. ‘What’s happened?’
‘I’ve sorted it,’ he said, words tumbling over each other. ‘We’re good to go. We can start again whenever you’re ready.’
Maddy didn’t move, didn’t speak. She just stood there, caught between everything she’d just said and everything waiting downstairs.