Chapter 31 #2
“And nor should you, Maddox. You know that I believe in putting good out there into the universe, but that also means I believe in karma. I believe in the sanctity of life, but I also believe in justice. Those men were directly responsible for Yasmin’s death.
And the world is a better place with three less rapist assholes in it.
Who knows how many more women they might have gone on to hurt or rape, or even kill?
How many more lives Milton might have destroyed?
Being raped takes something from a person, and getting that back is a long, hard road.
I for one am not going to shed a single, solitary tear for a man capable of that.
You might have taken a life, Maddox, but I truly believe that you also probably saved so many more. ”
Fuck. I’ve never even thought about it like that, despite all my years of self-reflection.
Would Milton have gone on to destroy more lives?
Yeah, he would. I have no doubt about that at all.
If you’ve got it in you to gang rape a girl when you’re as young as he was, he had a long, nasty career of brutalizing women ahead of him.
She’s right, but for some reason I feel the need to push.
To make sure she really understands what I’m saying.
That she knows exactly what she’s getting herself into here.
“I know you’re right, Ellie. I think that’s true too. But that’s not what I was thinking about when I was beating the shit out of him. I just felt rage. Absolute and total fury that completely consumed me. I hurt him, and part of me really enjoyed it.”
“And have you ever hurt anybody else, ever since?” She lifts my hand, drops a kiss on the scarred knuckle. She knows how I got that now, at least.
Physically, no.
I shake my head, and she smiles. “No, of course you haven’t, because you dealt with your rage.
You faced your demons. Look, Maddox, that guy deserved everything he got.
I’m not glossing over this. I do understand what you’re telling me.
You’re telling me that there’s a dark part of you that is capable of violence.
I get that. Maybe I have that inside me too.
” Her eyes fill with tears, and one escapes down her cheek.
I kiss it away, hating that this conversation is digging into her own pain, too. What I would give to get her father in a hotel room alone. The piece of shit would never see the light of another day. “No, what you did was self-defense, baby. There’s nothing inside you but goodness and light.”
“Well, whatever is inside us, I trust you, Maddox. I feel safe and protected with you, able to be my most vulnerable self with no fear of retribution or judgment. You may have a dark side, but you are not a bad person. I know who you are, Maddox James, and I love you.”
I wait to see if she backtracks like the first time she told me she loved me. My heart soars when she doesn’t.
I realize I’m crying as I look down at her perfect face, her big blue eyes. The gentle smile she has for me as she wipes the tears from my cheeks. “I love you, Maddox. All of you. You never need to curate yourself for me. I’m all in.”
Relief floods through me, mixed with complete joy.
I’ve shared my darkest secret, and she still loves me.
I scoop her into my arms, slide her onto my lap, and smother her in kisses.
“I love you too Ellie. I don’t know what I did to deserve a woman like you in my life, but I thank the universe every single day that you’re in my world.
I cannot imagine ever being without you.
I was so worried…I thought you’d hate me. I know you abhor violence.”
“I do,” she says, winding her arms around my neck.
“And what those men did to Yasmin was the worst kind of violence. They killed her. I have zero sympathy for the fact that they’re dead.
You’ve met my family. Keres, Ace, and Romeo.
And you already knew Lorenzo. How exactly did you meet him back then? ”
I shake my head. “I called Nathan after I killed Milton, and he said he’d take care of it. Lorenzo showed up a little while later. He saved my life, El.”
A sad smile crosses her face. “He saved Keres’s life too once, when she was a little girl. He’s a big softie at heart, really.”
“Yeah, well, I don’t think I’ll ever tell him that.”
She giggles. “So he and Nathan know each other?”
“Yeah. Nathan started out in corporate law originally. Apparently he warned Lorenzo about a dodgy business deal and saved him tens of millions of dollars. They’ve been buddies ever since. He’s a good man to know.”
“He is a good man. They all are. I’m under no illusions about what kind of people my family are, Maddox. I know they’ve done bad things, but that doesn’t mean they’re not good people.”
I tuck a stray curl behind her ear. “You are an incredible woman, Ellie.”
She gazes up at me with a wistful smile.
“The world’s a complicated place, Mad. I’m not some sweet, innocent girl who thinks life is made of sunshine and rainbows.
I know full well that there’s evil out there, and it’s sometimes very close to home.
” She shudders a little, and I wrap her up even more.
I would give everything to protect Ellie from ever being hurt by this harsh world again.
“I will never let anything bad happen to you ever again, baby. I promise.”
“You can’t promise that. Nobody can. But I believe you mean it, and I believe that if a bad thing does happen, then we will handle it. Together. No more running away, okay? There’s nothing so bad you can’t tell me about it.”
For maybe the first time in as long as I can remember, I actually believe that.
I kiss the top of her head and her fingers twine into my hair. My body starts to respond to her closeness. To the touch of her skin against mine, the shape of her ass perched on my lap.
Fuck. Why do I get hard-ons at the most inappropriate of times? This is a serious conversation. This is important. I shuffle around awkwardly.
She grins up at me. “Trying to hide that monster in your pants?”
I groan in embarrassment. “I’m sorry. I know we need to talk more. My dick just has a life of its own when you’re around.”
She sinks her teeth into her plump lower lip, and my pulse races.
I know that look, and I’m here for whatever filthy thoughts are going through her mind.
She shifts to straddle me, wrapping her thighs around me.
Now her amazing tits are right there in my face, nipples already stiff and pebbled through the thin cotton of her top.
I let out a grunt as my cock strains at my jeans.
“Talking is just one way to communicate,” she says, sighing as I dust kisses along her collarbone.
When I look up into those hypnotic eyes of hers, I see the love shining there. More importantly, I see the acceptance. She knows it all now, and my girl is going nowhere.
In fact, she’s grinding against my dick like her life depends on it, letting out little mewling sounds. I kiss her neck again, trailing my lips and tongue over her sweet-smelling flesh.
I thought I loved her before. Now I know what it really means to worship someone, body, mind, heart and soul. She is my Goddess, and she always will be.