Made in Mumbai

10. Hum Tum

Days passed, weeks, Mumbai’s big 10-day Ganeshotsav passed too, as did Navratri. And with the winds of monsoon receding, the dry sweet smell of autumn began to blow over the city. Maya was happy. For the first time, she was truly happy in life despite the impediments that were underway every second day. She had a job that she loved, it paid really well, her colleagues were some of the best out there in the world (except one), Gautam was a bearable, almost pleasant entity, and… she had her baby coming. Not immediately. No. She wasn’t that prepared for it. But at five months pregnant, she was now closer to the finishing line than the starting line.

As Maya strutted into the Amber Raisingh Fashion Show’s backstage area, she ran a hand down her baby bump. It was very noticeable now, cute but noticeable. This was the fist time she had worn something to accentuate it. Usually, she dressed in looser, more sweeping clothes to hide it at the office, even though everyone already knew. Today though, as she had picked a dress, a silk aegean blue one that she had bought on sale from a maternity brand, she couldn’t help but feel happier. It was like she was carrying her baby out for the first time.

The dress was form-fitting but not uncomfortable, its spaghetti strings looking chic on her still (thank god) slim shoulders. She had heard horror stories about pregnancy shoulders.

“Hey, Maya! Here, babe,” Aarya waved from one corner. Loud music was thumping as models were getting their hair and makeup done. The evening was set. The event already pulsing. She didn’t have much to do here except cheer them all on and clap the loudest when Gautam would walk the ramp at the end. Not as a model, but as the newest textile partner of Amber Raisingh. If she could get away with it, she would let out one or two loud whistles too. She had hid a small one in her clutch.

“Hi! All set?” She walked up to him, her gait slow. She could live in these kitten heels but that was before this baby had grown inside her. Now, she was careful.

“You look…” his lips rounded, as he took both her hands and held them up, eyeing her from top to bottom. “Man! Mummies can’t look this sexy!”

She grinned, jerking her hair back. And froze. Her hair had hit somebody behind her, hadn’t it? Maya turned alarmed, ready to apologise.

“Oh, it’s you,” she relaxed.

Gautam’s intense eyes lowered, until they were on her baby bump. Well, that was the highlight so she couldn’t complain.

“Who did you expect?” He returned his gaze to hers.

“Meaning?”

“Come with me.”

“Excuse me…” she turned to wave at Aarya but Gautam had already laid a hand on her back and was gently veering her.

“Where where where?” She dug her feet in, or as much as she could in these too-sexy-but-too-uncomfortable kitten heels. “What’s the emergency, Rambo?”

“You are sitting in the audience.”

“I know. My seat is reserved right next to Riya’s so we can gossip…”

“I know. Now come on.”

“The show doesn’t start until 9…”

“I don’t want you strutting around here in this dark.”

“Gautam…”

“Maya.”

They glared at each other. She was enjoying his protective gestures, really was. Very few people in her life had been this protective of her, and now of her baby. But she enjoyed it only when it suited her. Right now, she wanted to be here, check out all the backstage excitement.

“I will sit quietly in one corner,” she offered with her biggest Bambi eyes. He looked away. She craned her neck to reach his line of sight and batted her lashes — “Please.”

“Sit,” he pointed to an empty makeup chair.

“Like right now?”

“Yes, like right now.”

She gave a fake laugh, padding to the chair set right outside the green room and gingerly lowered herself on it. Is this a punishment or what?

He turned to go so she chirped — “Why aren’t you ready yet?”

“I am going to get ready.”

He was in his day’s blue shirt and trousers. He would be walking the ramp in a proper suit. It was a really big day for him, launching his company in the big leagues.

“Your suit is still navy blue, right?” She asked just as he turned again. He turned back, exasperated — “Yes.”

She smiled benignly — “Just asking. Did you take my advise and change your pocket square to a vintage polka dot black and white?”

“No. Anything else?”

She waved him away. And he ran out of there, sure she would chirp up if he stood by another second longer. Maya chuckled, sitting back and observing all the action.

“Hey, Maya?” One of their Made in Mumbai interns approached. “Can you please help me iron this? They asked me to do it but I have never done angora silk, that too with so much work on it…”

She literally shivered as she asked that, holding the dress up. It was the ivory dress, one of the heaviest in the collection. Maya debated in her head, now too comfortable in the chair to move.

“Please, Maya, please! At least teach me…”

“Hmm… ok, come.”

They walked to the ironing boards and Maya went through the process of explaining to her how to iron silk. That it was not the silk setting or steam ironing but the dampness of the fabric that would make or break the result.

As she went about ironing, her bladder squeezed. Shit. Maya continued ironing, willing her bladder to wait until the whole dress was done. Once completed, she set the iron on the side.

“Now set it on a hanger,” she ordered the intern and dashed to the loo.

When she returned, the ironing room was a loud dramatic mess.

“…my god! Who the hell let this happen here? Who is responsible?” Amber was in a fit, the ivory dress clutched to her chest. Maya walked up to the group, her intern standing scared in one corner, shivering more than she was before.

“What happened?” Maya whispered to her.

“I jus… turned… get the hanger… and when I came… the iron was on the dress…” she stuttered, tears in her eyes. “I’m so sorry, I don’t know what to do…?”

Maya eyed the commotion, then Sia behind them, smirking at her. The bitch.

“You?” Amber pointed to her. “Saya! You. Come here. They are saying you were working on this,” Amber threw the dress at her face. Maya recoiled, catching the fabric in time. It was burnished down the centre, the neckline completely charred. Shit.

“Who allowed you backstage?! Never worked in the fashion industry, thinking you can do as you please…” Amber began to blast, advancing on her. “Unprofessional bitches who think this is a park. Do you know that dress cost more than your three years’ salary? If you sold yourself right now you wouldn’t be able to repay me for that dress and now my fashion show is rui…”

Somebody stepped between them. Maya stepped back, focusing on the broad shoulders encased in a suit. A navy suit.

“Enough.”

“Your twat of an employee has…”

“I said enough,” his curt, final voice cut her off. “You will not speak to my employee like that.”

“She destroyed my dress!”

“I can see that. We will find a solution…”

“I have already called your studio to WeFast another dress, it’s on its way,” witchy-bitchy Sia eagerly joined them, squeezing Amber’s shoulder like she was at a funeral. Looking down at the burned dress in her hand, Maya contemplated it must be one for people like these.

“That does not mean I forgive this girl hiding behind you.”

Maya stepped out from behind Gautam’s shoulder. She had kept quiet because that was the professional thing to do, but she wouldn’t stand meek behind him if somebody implied she was a coward.

“Shameless, still standing here with the dress you burned.”

“I said that is enough. Another word from you Amber, and I will step back from our impending contract.”

“What?”

“You heard me.”

“For this twat?”

“That’s it. I will not be signing our three-year contract this evening. We can peacefully finish your show and go our separate ways.”

Gasps and murmurs erupted.

“Are you serious?! You are letting this contract go for her ? What? She sleeping with you…?” She eyed her bump with disdain. “Looks like she’s got practise.”

“My employees, my office, nor my culture allow people to talk like this. In any setting. I will not work with somebody who does. Your dress will be here soon enough.”

“You are making a huge mistake, I can destroy every single chance for you to now come into this industry…”

“I have come here on the basis of my credibility. I am sure I will go on on that as well. Sahyadri?” He flicked his gaze to her. As if their private conversation had occurred, she rubbed Amber’s shoulders and turned her to chat up some more into her ear, no doubt abusing ‘Maya and everything she touched.’

“Get back to work now and make sure this does not happen again,” Gautam barked at the staff, then took her wrist and began walking.

“Where?” Maya tried to pull. But he kept going, out of the backstage area, to the hotel lobby and down the lift, until they were standing outside the concierge.

“Where are we going?”

“You should not stay close to her. It will create more friction.”

“You are right. I will go.”

“How did it happen?” Gautam left her hand, handing something to the concierge behind her.

“I went to the loo and was inattentive.”

“Liar,” he smirked. In this high-voltage situation, he had the audacity to smirk. And to shake his head like this was amusing!

“How do you know?”

He stepped out of the wide hotel doors and into the pleasant balmy night. She followed him — “Where are you going?”

“With you.”

“What? No! You have to walk the ramp.”

“I am not partnering with Amber, why would I walk it?”

“You can’t be serious about it, Gautam.”

“Very much am.”

His fancy blue BMW rounded the ramp and stopped in front of them. He smoothly passed the tip and she settled inside the passenger seat. The car was luxury, of course. Her father had one of these too. But this was an SUV model, a lot more… beastly. Like the man who settled into the passenger seat — sophistication on the outside, but something more wild on the inside. Today she had seen a glimpse of that inside, that wild in him. In a man she had believed was suave and calculative.

He carefully sped down the ramp and into the wide streets of BKC. The commercial city was quiet at this time of the night, only the hotels, restaurants and bars buzzing with activity. This part of Mumbai was truly futuristic, pretty with cycling tracks and clean wide sidewalks. The squares were always lit up and the roads were silky smooth.

“I live just two lanes away from the office, I’ll show you.”

“Are you hungry?”

“Huh?”

“I said are you hungry? It’s dinner time.”

“Yes, I am always hungry lately.”

“Do you want to eat something?”

“Like what?”

“I don’t know. Anything is fine with me.”

“Vada pav, roadside mysore masala dosa and Energy milk. Coffee flavour… no wait,” she salivated. “No coffee. Strawberry flavour. Let’s go to Mithibai.”

“Are you even allowed street food?”

“Only the cooked type.”

He did not speak then, driving them into the main suburbs. But instead of Vile Parle, he veered the car towards Khar.

“Mithibai is that way…”

“I am not feeding you street food. If something happens, I don’t want that on my conscience.”

She rolled her eyes. On the next signal he reached out and dialled a number on his car system — “You’ve been to Farmer’s Cafe?”

“Yes,” she grunted.

“I am calling them, decide your order.”

“So they sell vada pav and dosa now?”

“Unfortunately, no. But they do have very good organic food.”

“Yeah, you need it,” she snorted. “Inorganic mule.”

“What did you call me?”

“Hello, this is Farmer’s Cafe, can I take your order?”

“Hi, yes. I want one Baked Sweet Potato Wedges, one Cuban Burger and,” he glanced at her. Maya kept her mouth shut tight, although she was tempted to order their Paneer Tikka-like gravy with rice. It came with those pink vinegar onions and she was craving a whole quintal of those. But she had her pride.

“And,” Gautam went on, “One Indian Cottage Cheese Curry on Rice and a Salted Caramel Chee…”

“I don’t like salted caramel nowadays,” she whispered to him.

“Sorry, can you make that Hazelnut Chocolate Cheesecake?” He corrected instantly, putting the car in drive as the signal turned green.

“And extra vinegar onions,” she whispered.

“I also need extra vinegar onions with the curry and rice. I am collecting it in ten minutes. Please pack it with cutlery and napkins for two.”

The call disconnected.

“Why are we collecting the food, and how did you know I was craving their paneer tikka and rice?”

“You were in the mood for something spicy. This is the closest they have.”

“Why are we not eating there?”

“It would be crowded at this time. The waiting would be long. I thought we will take it and eat it by the sea. Do you want to dine there? I can cancel the pick-up.”

“No, I am happy picnicking!”

“Not a picnic.”

“Such a picnic.”

“Not a picnic.”

“Such a picnic!”

“Not a pic… fine. Picnic.” He shook his head, making her smirk.

————————————————————

They sat on the Carter Road promenade ledge, feet dangling over the sea. This was the exact spot they had sat on that night fifteen years ago. The tide was high today too, as it was then, the sea kissing the wall beneath their feet. And even as she ate with both hands, Gautam ate his burger singlehandedly, keeping one arm curved behind her. Not touching, Maya eyed sneakily, but ready to hold her in case she lost balance.

She finished her last delicious bite of the luscious paneer gravy on rice and set the styrofoam box down.

“Hmm…” he passed her the box of cheesecake, done with his food.

“Some time later.”

She eyed him neatly fold the paper wrapper of his burger, then wipe his fingers and stuff everything back in the bag. Maya chuckled.

“What?”

“I can’t believe this is the same guy who drank chutney out of his bowl.”

“If I do that now I will have acidity all night,” he snorted.

“Do not talk about such things to a pregnant woman. It brings bad omens.”

“Does it?” He turned to her, expression amused. “You never believed in omens.”

“That was before. This is now. I think with the amount of jerks life gives you, you start respecting signs everywhere.”

“Did you just make a deep comment?”

“I must have lost it.”

He laughed. And Maya felt a little lost in that laugh. She had tried to not look at him this way, but tonight, it was proving difficult to take her eyes off of him. Not because he was a lot dapper than usual in his suit. That was there, of course. The sight of him did make her weak in the knees. But… there was something in the way he had come and stood between her and Amber. She had not expected him to throw away his contract over her. And yet he had.

“How did you make your company?” She asked. “Like really make it. Don’t give me the sanitised answer like last time.”

Gautam smirked. “How do you know that was sanitised?”

“Just answer,” she poked a finger into his bicep. It was firm. She had seen it up close and personal, held onto it in the most magical waters.

“When I spent that day here with you, I wanted a life here. The way you described your day, a typical Mumbai routine, even with the bad parts, I wanted that. The Mumbai life. A city like this, larger than anything I could have ever imagined. A life in its sea, lost among lakhs, crores of others. I am not the first man to dream that, but I was sure gonna make it happen. When I bought that Surat mill, I was raw. Completely clueless. That money wasn’t just my savings but even Kumar bhai’s. And in the beginning, as I worked at that mill to turn it around with just three and half men…”

“Three and half men?”

“I was working two shifts, there was one man who knew how to run the looms and came for the day shift, and his teenage son came to help me after class at night.”

“And Kumar bhai?”

“He was driving trucks. One of us had to earn. Because the mill was just not turning around. I made losses, couldn’t even retain the three clients already with the mill. The first two years were crashing. I had no background in business. I was an eleventh standard dropout. And my big ego wouldn’t let me hire somebody who knew finances. Until I was left with no option but to close the mill. That is when I hired an old, retired accountant. Once he came along, we began to process better. And he was kind enough to teach me. He had run the financial side of mills all his life and his old-school ways were… let’s just say they were perfect. That gave me confidence, and once we were making a decent profit, I came to Mumbai to get clients. But again, I wouldn’t get entertained at any cream companies. I didn’t have much polish. My english was correct, but not fancy. So I started taking night classes in English diction, watching more of English movies, shows, learning how to dress from the bosses I did not get to meet personally. My first set of formal attire was hand-stitched by a tailor in Surat as per the design I showed him, the cloth produced in my mill by myself. Again, it took another two or three years before I broke into the Mumbai scene. And maybe that was the turning point. Because once one thing succeeds, other three follow. I rented out a big sea-facing office at Marine Drive, just to get a taste of the life I craved. We ran GK Textiles from there for three years. But it wasn’t as fun as I had thought it would be. And once I saw this converted villa that they wanted to sell, I just knew I wanted to shift out of town and into the suburbs. Get more greenery around me, get more… that old nostalgia feeling I had when I mistook this promenade for Marine Drive.”

She chuckled. “It’s so much better, no?”

“I agree. That’s why I bought a house here too.”

“Really? Where?”

“There,” he pointed behind his shoulder. Maya turned, and his arm braced her back — “Be careful.”

“That? There are no lights.”

The biggest two-storey bungalow that sat opposite the road had an under-construction sign on it. It was dark, but she could easily make out the hoards of coconut trees fringing it.

“When?”

“Last year. It has been under renovation ever since.”

“Why so long?”

“Something or the other keeps happening. We had to update the entire plumbing line. Once that was done we discovered there was a well underneath the courtyard so my architect suggested we assimilate it with the bungalow’s water storage system. Things like that. Now finally the skeleton work is complete, and they are starting interior work.”

Maya grinned, turning to look at his face just as he turned. Their noses collided. He looked at her eyes, then her nose, with something akin to what she was beginning to feel for him. Maya blinked, ready to pull back, but he said something that made her stop.

“When we parted that day after you said brutal things to me, I promised myself that if I ever saw your face again I would really give it back to you. But somehow, you’ve made me eat my words.”

“I am sorry. I take it back. I wanted to take it back the very next day.”

He just sat there, quiet.

“Hey!” She snapped, reaching for her mobile, frantically going through her iCloud photos.

“What happened?”

Maya’s head was buried inside her phone screen, going rapidly down the years, through hundreds and thousands of photos. 2012, 11, 10… 2009. There!

“See?” She showed him her phone screen, the photo she had snapped of the two of them in this very place that night. “That bungalow is in the background. You bought it, G!” She grinned at him, incredulous at this twist of fate.

His face was mildly amazed too, as he took her phone in his hand and looked at the picture. The two of them, young and exhausted after a long day, still smiling wide, the bungalow behind them. She still remembered he had told her that she was the nicest person he had met. It was a tragedy that she had broken that delusion of his the next morning.

“Can you send this to me?” He returned her phone.

“Of course!” She downloaded it. “And this also. Remember the walls of murals?” She held up her phone again. He nodded, something bubbling in his eyes but his face still staring impassively. Maya sighed, getting the photos into his chat. Then, silence reigned.

Waves crashed, traffic zoomed, passersby chatted. They remained quiet, staring out at the sea.

“So,” she broke it, eyeing his pretty profile. “A proper family home and all in Mumbai, huh?”

He continued staring at the dark sea — “Yes, but I wouldn’t want a family inside it.”

“What do you mean?”

“I mean, I am more than sufficient on my own. I do not ever want another person’s burden on me.”

“Then why build such a big house?”

“For me. To prove to myself that I made my place in Mumbai. To prove to this city that I belong here… Why, you still want a family after all that you have been through?”

“I mean,” she pointed at her tummy with a chuckle. “I am having one.”

“Not like that. I meant a husband and home.”

“No,” Maya shook her head. “To be fair to myself, I gave it a try. But I wasn’t… likeable enough in that department. I guess I am a happy person when I am single. The world doesn’t like me as part of a couple.” She tried to smile through that confession, but froze when his fingers held her chin and pulled her face towards his.

More waves crashed, more traffic zoomed, more passersby chatted. Gautam’s eyes, intense and a little angry, held hers.

“Listen to a man who thought he hated you admit this — M was adorable, but you are so much more likeable, Maya.”

Her mouth opened, to take as much air as she could because those few words had robbed her of her breath.

“Oh ho… kaay re?” Somebody banged a stick close to where they sat. Maya startled, and turned her head in time to see a Police Havaldar standing between them, stick in one hand — “Girlfriend ko leke public area mein chumma-chaati?”

Before Gautam could, Maya turned in her place. The Havaldar’s eyes widened at her baby bump. If he thought they were an immoral couple trying to get cosy in public, this would solve it.

“To maajha navra aahe, Inspector saheb,” she grinned up at the officer, pointing to Gautam as her husband in Marathi.

“Inspector saheb, huh?” The Havaldar preened at her purposeful bump in his designation. “Mi Inspector disto, kaay?”

“Ho, ho… tumhi naay kaay?” She made a pouted face. “Personality Inspector-sarkhi aahe…”

He laughed, leaning on his stick. Then turned strict eyes at Gautam — “Kya re? Pregnant baiko ko leke aise public mein yeh sab karta hai? Chal, sab pack kar aur wife ko ghar leke jaa…”

“Havaldar sahab, aap…” Gautam pushed to his feet.

“Aye, tu mujhe Havaldar bola? Chal, ab 500 nikaal.”

“Kyu?” He glanced from him to her. Maya barred her teeth. The stupid man had to open his stupid mouth! She had gotten the situation under control…

“Kyu-kyu kya? Chal nikaal. Yaa tera gaadi ka chalan kaatun?” He searched for their car. “Woh neeli wali teri hai na, hero?”

“Inspector sir,” Maya got to her feet, then pushed back, both hands on her belly. “Ooohh… oohhh,” she doubled over. “Shit…”

“Maya?” Gautam caught her in his arms, laughter under his breath. “Come, come, let me take you to the hospital.” She trudged to the car with him, the Havaldar’s concerned voice behind them. She was settled and locked in the car and within minutes Gautam had rammed out of the parking and onto the road. Laughing.

“That was some topnotch nautanki…”

“It’s not nautanki…” she ground her teeth together as her thighs tightened. The cramps were bad, period-bad. “Shit. Shit, shit, shit.”

“Maya?” His hand found her bicep, all laughter gone. “Maya? Are you serious?”

“Hmm mm…” she breathed through her mouth.

“What to do now? What’s happening? Oh no…” he braked hard. The road leading up to Pali Hill was packed. Maya’s heart deflated. She threw her head back into the seat and breathed, slowly, steadily. Maybe this would subside. Go away. Yes.

A siren sounded somewhere behind them and then a bike was in front of them, red light on. The man gestured with his hand for them to follow.

“It’s him… our Havaldar,” Gautam put the car in drive and followed him as he cleaved through the traffic for them. Maya didn’t care. She reached for her mobile and dialled her first Favourites Contact.

“Hello?”

“Hi, Rekha Aunty,” she smiled through her stress. “How are you?”

“I’m fine, Beta. How are you?”

“Why are you calling your relatives right now?’ Gautam hissed from beside her. “Call your doctor!”

“She is my doctor!” Maya hissed back. “Sorry, Rekha Aunty, not for you… so, actually I am having these bad cramps right now. Period cramps. And they are bad.”

“Mmm hmm, since when?”

“Just a few minutes ago. I can’t feel my thighs, it’s that bad.”

“Alright, relax. Come to me, I am at the hospital right now. We’ll take a look, ok?”

“Ok… whew. I am coming… Rekha Aunty?”

“Yes, Maya?”

“It’s not serious, right?”

“You come first, I’m sure it’s not serious.”

Maya squeezed her eyes shut and dropped her mobile between her lap. Her throat felt nauseous due to pain and everything felt like a big, black ball of smoke around her. “Please, please, please… please don’t leave me.” She held her tummy tight, clawed her dress to pain. “Please, don’t leave me, don’t leave me…”

“Oye, M!” His authoritative command broke her out of the nightmare. She blinked up at him. “Nobody is leaving anybody. Not her, and not you. Now channel your inner sunshine. You do it for everybody, do it for yourself right now.”

“I can’t…”

“You can. Or do you need your chocolate cake to refuel?”

She chuckled — “We left it at Carters…”

“Not really,” he reached behind her seat and held out the box. She laughed, the sudden movement easing her cramps. The box was upside down and the cake must have been smashed inside but the gesture made her liquid. More emotional if that was even possible. She held the box tight, channeling the ‘sunshine’ as he had put it — “You keep this cake safe, ok? Once I am given the all-clear, which I will be as soon as Rekha Aunty sees me, I am going to celebrate by dunking my face into this pool of goodness… Seriously, my baby is as much drama as me, huh? Left from here!” She directed, and the car veered inside the hospital gates.

Maya threw open the door as soon as the car had stopped. She could walk better now. “Aye? Sab ok?” The Havaldar who had led them here by running his siren showed his thumbs up. Gautam pulled a wad of notes from his wallet and handed them to him but he just stuffed them right back — “Baiko ko upar leke jaa, gaadi main dekhta hoon.”

Maya waved at him with a huge smile, praying it looked like a smile and not a grimace. And that’s how, with Gautam’s arm around her, she entered the hospital.

————————————————————

She lay on the bed in her doctor’s OPD room, eyes hooked to the monitor that was connected to her belly. Examinations and tests had taken the better part of the night, and now here she was, waiting for Dr. Rekha to finish her delivery and come check her. The fact that she hadn’t rushed out meant everything was stable. Nothing bad had happened to her or her baby.

Maya glanced at the glass panel of the room looking outside. Gautam was there, his navy suit moving in and out of her line of sight. He glanced at his watch, then back at the alley. Maybe it was later than she had thought. Maya reached behind to get her clutch to check the time when Dr. Rekha walked in.

“How are you feeling now?” She caressed her arm, checking the monitor and her reports. Her motherly touch soothed her, but also broke her. Maya burst into a sob, finally, finally able to let go.

“Please tell me it is ok…” she cried. “Please, Rekha Aunty, please.”

“Shh, shhh,” she glanced down sternly. “Chup.”

Maya hiccuped.

“First stop crying. Everything is fine. The baby is holding tight, see?” She showed her the sonogram. “You have been getting these cramps today because your womb is expanding. It is the round ligament around here that expands and may sometimes cause pain. Yours happen to be unbearable. Or perhaps it’s your dramatic personality,” she chuckled. Her wise eyes coupled with that smile put Maya at ease. She sighed, letting out a deep breath through her nose.

“So I panicked for no reason?” She panted through her grin.

“I heard a police officer escorted you here?”

“Yeah,” she laughed now, “funny story, he thought my boss was my husband and…” her head turned to call Gautam in. But he wasn’t there. “What time is it, Aunty?” She asked, her gaze searching for him.

“Just past 3.”

“Hmm mm…”

It was late. He was gone. Of course he was gone. It was ok. Really. He had done more than his fair share, bringing her here, waiting outside all night, being silently bored. It couldn’t be easy being alone and bored in a hospital alley at night. It was ok if he had left. She was ok. Her baby was ok.

Then why didn’t it feel so ok?