Chapter 12 The Spirit Pill
A full, hard round of Broadcast Calisthenics was done.
Two men who were already half dead were soaked in sweat.
"Master, did it work?" Old Wang panted.
"Do you feel it... a slight heat in your body?" Daoist Kaixin was just as out of breath.
"Yes, yes!" Old Wang nodded hard. "I'm burning up right now, Master!"
"Then it worked!" Daoist Kaixin grabbed his hand. "That's true qi. You've cultivated true qi. You've graduated!"
"That—that simple?"
"I knew I wasn't wrong about you. You're a martial prodigy once in a hundred years!"
Old Wang's face glowed red. "Could I really be a genius, Master?"
"True or not, we'll put it to the test!"
With that, Daoist Kaixin pulled a twenty-centimeter iron nail from his sleeve.
"Put your hand on the table!"
"Huh?" Old Wang stared at the nail and deflated at once.
"Don't you trust your Master?"
"I—I trust you."
"Then put your hand up there!"
"Fine, fine."
"Repeat the mantra after me: Divine skill protects the body—ah!!!"
Old Wang shouted along. "Divine skill protects the body—ah!!!"
"Puchi!"
The iron nail punched straight through his palm without suspense.
"Ah!!! The divine skill didn't protect me, Master!"
Daoist Kaixin slapped him backhanded. "Just say the mantra. Don't ah!"
"Yes, yes, Master... ah!!!!"
Daoist Kaixin snapped, furious. "Why are you ah-ing again?"
Old Wang looked wronged. "It hurts, Master! I can't help it!"
"Useless thing!"
Old Wang's blood dripped along the nail. Soon a pool of blood spread on the floor.
His lips went pale. "Master, is there any more divine pill? I think I'm dying."
Daoist Kaixin took off a shoe, checked the sole, and sighed. "The raw materials for the divine pill still need time to grow."
Old Wang understood something and retched hard.
"That can't be right. How could it fail? You should have been invulnerable. Where did it go wrong?" Daoist Kaixin muttered to himself.
Old Wang was vomiting and worse. "Master, help me stop the bleeding."
Daoist Kaixin barked, "Don't talk. I'm thinking!"
"Oh."
Half a minute later, Old Wang tried again. "Master, it really hurts."
Daoist Kaixin jumped up and slapped him. "Still yapping!"
Old Wang's tears poured down. He didn't even dare cry out loud.
Soon Daoist Kaixin lit up and slapped his thigh. "I know where the problem is!"
"Where?"
"Your veins are blocked. True qi can't flow, so the divine skill can't protect you!"
"What does that mean?"
"Get on the table. Face down."
Old Wang did as he was told.
Daoist Kaixin rolled up his sleeves, flexed his wrist, then bellowed. One hand braced Old Wang's rear. The other shot in like lightning.
Left and right. Front and back. Up and down.
He dug hard for a full three minutes.
Blood ran in rivers. Filth flew everywhere.
Old Wang didn't dare question it. Couldn't believe it. Then blacked out.
Daoist Kaixin held nothing back. Spared nothing. Wouldn't let go.
At last he plucked out that bloody internal hemorrhoid.
"It's out! The spirit pill!"
A blissful smile spread across Daoist Kaixin's face. "With the spirit pill secured, the great dao is certain. I will ascend!"
Old Wang had lost his hemorrhoid and found his brain again.
Tears all over his face, he pointed at Daoist Kaixin, shaking, and roared, "Fuck your—"
Then he turned and headed for the first floor, as if he had made up his mind about something.
I thought to myself, good thing Old Wang didn't have kidney stones, or those would have been treated as sacred relics.
Only after Old Wang went downstairs did Daoist Kaixin catch on.
He stood on the second floor and shouted in agitation, "Hey, where are you going?"
Old Wang ignored him.
Daoist Kaixin clung on, reluctant. "Can you not leave?"
Something in Old Wang's DNA twitched. He answered on reflex. "If I don't leave, will you support me?"
Daoist Kaixin didn't even think. "I'll refine immortal pills to support you!"
Old Wang's grief flooded back. "You're insane!"