Chapter 23
23
MICKEY
B enny’s getting out of rehab a week early. He’s stronger every day and ready to come back to work. He lets me know he emails with Katie on a secure network to get up to speed on the current financials. He thanks me for the fruit basket I sent and for helping out his family. I tell him it’s nothing, that it’ll be good to have him back where he belongs.
What I don’t say is if he never had a heart attack, I wouldn’t have gotten to know Katie the way I did and would’ve missed out on the best part of my entire life. It isn’t the kind of thing I can say out loud—thanks for not taking care of your cholesterol because your illness gave me the opportunity to have an affair with your interim replacement. I wonder what the hell’s wrong with me for even thinking it.
Poor guy was brokenhearted to hear that not only was his nephew skimming money from me to the tune of six figures, but he was also dealing drugs out of my club. For his sake alone, I didn’t kill the little fucker, but he was sent packing with strict instructions that I wouldn’t be as merciful if I ever saw his face in Boston again.
I’m meeting with the head of my new protective detail when Rory busts into my office.
“I need a minute,” he says. I nod to Carlos and he excuses himself.
Rory’s jaw is tight and he’s bouncing on the balls of his feet like he used to when he was spoiling for a fight in high school. I lean against my desk and wait for him to come out with it.
“What the are you doing with my baby sister?” He says in a low, dangerous voice. “You promised you’d keep her out of the business, everything on the up-and-up, right? I guess that didn’t include keeping the business outta her.”
I roll my neck like I’m loosening up for this. Any second he’s gonna throw a punch. Rory’s less of a hothead than he used to be but this is family and everyone’s a little nuts when it comes to that.
“You wanna explain to me why you’re actin’ like she’s not a grown adult? She makes her own decisions. She chose to be with me and she’s the one that broke it off. I didn’t do anything to her and I’m sure as fuck not goin’ to tell you about what I did with her. Now if you wanna go out in the street I can kick your ass like old times. Otherwise, you need to grow up and stay in your fuckin’ lane.”
Rory rocks back on his heels. “Jesus Christ. You love her, too, don’t you?” He asks.
“What did you say?”
“You’re in love with her.”
“It doesn’t matter,” I tell him. “She doesn’t want to be with me.”
“Yeah, sure. That’s why she’s moping on the couch like a brokenhearted teenager.”
I don’t know what to do with the knot in my stomach that tightens when he says Katie’s brokenhearted and crying on the couch. I want to charge right out of here and go to her as fast as possible.
“Look, it freaked her out when Oscar pulled a gun on us. She got scared and told me it was over. It’s been weeks. I figured she was over it by now,” I say. I hate how my voice sounds at the end like I’m excited or emotional or something. I can’t conceal it.
The charge of urgency signs through me. I have to get to her. If she’s at home, I’ll go there now.
“Where is she?”
“The house. Why?” he says.
“Fuck off, Rory,” I say and move past him without a second glance.
The driver gets me there in record time. I take the porch steps two at a time and beat on the door. “It’s me, Katie,” I call to her, out of breath. My heart threatens to beat out of my chest in anticipation. I could’ve called or messaged but I want to do this in person, want to see her face. I’ll know, is what I’m thinking. If I look her in the eyes I’ll know if she’s still in love with me or not.
I hear footsteps approach and my heart lodges in my throat. Katie swings the door open, standing there in her pajamas looking miserable. Her face is blotchy and her eyes are puffy. It wrenches my heart a little seeing her vulnerable, in her pajamas and barefaced with evidence of her sorrow plain on her face.
I can’t resist reaching for her and cup her face in my hand. The softness of her cheek, the silken hair that tickles the tips of my fingers rushes at me, the visceral zap of recognition is like a sense memory. I almost shut my eyes to let it sink in that I’m touching her after all these nights alone.
“What are you doing here?”
“We need to talk. Can I come in?”
“It’s not a good idea,” she falters, but she nuzzles her cheek in my palm, shuts her own eyes for a second and I see her brow furrow, the way she bites her bottom lip for an instant. She feels it still.
“Then come with me,” I demand.
“I’m in my pajamas,” she says as if that’s an excuse.
“If that’s your only objection, you can change if you want, but don’t do it on my account,” I tell her. “I don’t want you out of my sight that long.”
Katie blushes. I see the becoming color flood her cheeks and I feel the knot in my chest loosen again. She no longer looks miserably pale and hollow-eyed. She has a bit of her sparkle back.
“I’ll just be a second,” she says. She disappears into her room and a couple of minutes later emerges in jeans and sweatshirt with a bag over her shoulder. “I’m ready.”
I want to wait until we have absolute privacy to talk with her, but that doesn’t mean I’m wasting any time. In the back of the car, I lay my arm across the back of the seat and she scoots right up to my side.
“I’ve missed you so much.”
“I don’t think I’ve really been warm enough since we broke up,” she says softly. “It’s not even winter and I’ve been freezing.”
“I was so worried when you didn’t come back to work, and I heard you were sick. Are you better now?”
“A little bit.”
She’s holding something back, but I don’t push her just yet. I can wait until we get to my place.
We ride through the evening traffic out to Castle Island. When we get out, I dismiss my driver. “I won’t be needing you again tonight. You can take off early.”
“Thank you, sir,” he says.
I tap the app on my phone and disable the upgraded alarm system. After I unlock the door and let us inside, I lean down and whisper in her ear, “Not to freak you out, but I’ve got six men outside the house now. There are two on me at all times plus the driver. You could say it woke me up when Oscar pulled that gun. I have a lot more to lose than I used to.”
“You have no idea,” she says, and I’m not sure what she means. “Will you sit down with me?”
Katie looks nervous again, and I reach for her hand. We sit down on the couch and she’s put a foot of space between us. She’s chewing her thumbnail and looks like she’s shaking all over.
“What’s wrong?” I ask her. “We just gotta talk it out. Don’t panic.”
“It’s not that. I’m not scared of figuring this out with you. I’m scared to tell you what’s going on.”
Narrowing my eyes, I look her over. “What’s going on that you have to be scared about?”
I see how she’s sitting, crisscrossed legs, facing me, keeping room between us, her elbows tucked in close and chewing her nails. She’s making herself smaller, protecting herself. I won’t have it.
“Just tell me.”
The longer she keeps quiet the more I worry.
“Kate, unfold yourself and come over here,” I say. I reach for her. She resists at first but then reaches back and takes my hand. I tug her toward me and put my arm around her. “There, that’s better. If you want me to go first, I will.”
“Okay,” she says. “Why did you bring me here?”
“To tell you that there’s nobody else for me. End of story.” I kiss the top of her head. “You’re it for me, baby.”
For some reason she squeezes her eyes shut and winces like she didn’t like what I said.
“What?” I press.
“Baby,” she says.
“You don’t want me to call you that?”
“It’s not that. It’s… I’m pregnant, Mick. When I was sick, I went to the clinic and I thought I’d have the flu or something. The pregnancy test they gave me was positive. I looked when I got home and I missed a couple pills in my last pack. I didn’t mean to forget. I guess with moving back and the new job, studying all the time and—and getting involved with you, I let it slip my mind. At the time when I really should’ve been extra careful about making sure I took them. Because we didn’t use anything else.”
I stare at her. She keeps talking and talking, but all I can hear is the first couple words she said. Katie’s pregnant.
“Wait, what?” I interrupt. “You’re pregnant?”
Katie pulls away from the shoulder where she was leaning and hiding her face from me. She takes a ragged breath, squares her shoulders and looks me right in the face. “I’m pregnant. It was an accident and I’m sorry. I should’ve been more careful. You don’t have to do anything as far as, like, being part of this. I take full responsibility. I get that this changes everything, that if you came to my door tonight thinking we can give it another try, then it’s a lot more complicated than you thought it would be. You’ll need time to think about it, I’m sure, and figure out what you want.”
“You. I want you. More than I want fuckin’ air to breath, Katie. Don’t doubt that for one second.”
She looks stunned for a second, and I watch what I said sink in. Her eyes are bright and a smile curves her mouth. I trail my fingertips up her neck and watch her shiver. I brush my lips over hers, light and teasing, and feel a surge of satisfaction when she cants toward me. Her lips cling to mine but I keep it soft and sensual as I rock my mouth over hers.
“Don’t say you’re sorry. We didn’t see this coming, but don’t sell me short thinking I don’t want to be with you or I don’t want this baby. You know what you just told me? That you think you had to do this all by yourself. That cuts me up cause I want to be the man you know you can count on. I’m your man, Katie Donahue. For as long as you want me.”
She throws her arms around my neck and hugs me tight. “You’ll do this with me? Have this baby?”
“This baby and any other baby you want. I never been so honored in all my life as this makes me feel, you gotta know that. I’d do anything for you. I already got security around me, and I upgraded some systems, increased the protection officers and tightened restrictions on staff going in and out of the building during their shifts. I made changes that will keep us safer and that’s before I knew about the baby. Let me prove it to you.”
“Let me get this straight. You’re sayin’ you want to be with me and raise our baby together.”
“More than anything,” I say, grinning and kissing her like I’ll never stop.
Because that’s my plan.