Chapter 57
Giorgio
Fuckin’ Niccolo.
Maybe he loved the Boboli Gardens because he knew so much, but I didn’t know shit about history or art. To me, the place was just a bunch of pretty bushes and old statues. And not any statues I recognized, either.
But I didn’t want to look like an idiot, so I winged it.
Luckily, Emilia seemed to really be enjoying my fake secchione art expert tour.
We came to a statue of a naked man with a cloak wrapped around his arm in front of him, a knife in his other hand poised to strike.
I immediately had a flashback to Don Rosolini practicing knife fighting with Lars in the mansion’s basement. The statue was incredibly similar to everything I had witnessed.
…minus the nudity, of course.
“What’s this one about?” Emilia asked, egging me on.
I didn’t say what it really reminded me of.
Instead, I answered, “Naked guy guarding his asshole.”
“What?!”
“He saw that other statue of the guy getting a proctology exam and decided he didn’t want none o’ that.”
Emilia howled with laughter as I took her hand and led her on.
We reached a beautiful garden with flowers and roses in the center. In the distance were amazing views.
But there was also a fountain with three stone monkeys at the base – and one of them was spitting a steady stream of water into the basin.
“Okay, we’re officially in the weird part of the Boboli Gardens,” I announced.
Emilia laughed. “Why do you say that?”
“It’s a spitting monkey,” I said, like it was self-evident.
“So?!”
“So if the Boboli Gardens are the medieval equivalent of Pornhub, then this is the Pervert Fountain.”
“What?!”
“Spitting monkeys are some freaky shit. Are you into spitting monkeys?”
“No!”
“Then come on, let’s go.”
We reached the Pitti Palace and came across the single weirdest statue I’d seen all day.
I’d been joking about the spitting monkeys.
I was not joking about this one. It was seriously bizarre.
A short, morbidly obese man, at least 300 pounds with a tiny wiener, was sitting buck naked on the back of a giant tortoise.
I shit you not.
“We’re back in the weird section again,” I announced. “The weird gay section.”
Emilia was howling with laughter. “Maybe some women like that!”
“Do you like that?”
“NO!”
“Weird gay section,” I pronounced authoritatively. “I’m out. Let’s go.”
As we walked back through the massive hedges, I said, “I’ve got a confession to make.”
“What’s that?” Emilia asked.
“I don’t know jack shit about the Boboli Gardens.”
“NO,” she said in feigned disbelief, then laughed.
“Was it that obvious?” I asked with a grin.
“Uh, yeah.”
“Damn,” I said, pretending like I was really disappointed.
Then I actually did give a real reaction: a hint of annoyance. “Fuckin’ Boboli Gardens. Worst date idea ever.”
“No it wasn’t!” she protested.
I gave her a look like Come on.
“It was really pretty!” she insisted. “And you were hilarious!”
“Well, that’s good to hear,” I said in relief.
“Why did you bring me here in the first place?”
“One of my bosses recommended it.”
She looked at me in disbelief. “You asked your boss for a recommendation?”
“I asked everybody for a recommendation. Lucia said we should fuck in the bushes.”
Emilia laughed out loud. “That sounds like Lucia.”
Then, suddenly, Emilia got an impish look on her face.
“Maybe we should,” she purred.
“Yeah, right.”
“I’m serious.”
I stopped in my tracks and looked at her in shock.
I thought for sure she was joking.
I kept waiting for her to point at me and say, Gotcha! –
But she didn’t.
“You’re not serious,” I said –
But she hugged me around the waist and smiled up at me.
“Why not?” she whispered.
I had to admit, the idea was hot…
And I started to get hard.
Emilia felt it.
She got a delighted look on her face.
“Feels like somebody likes my suggestion,” she whispered as she reached down and grabbed my cock through the front of my pants.
I laughed in embarrassment as I stopped her hand from rubbing me.
I looked around.
There weren’t any tourists within a hundred feet of us, so I don’t think anybody saw.
But even contemplating doing something that wild made me even harder.
Emilia moaned and made a face as she held on to my cock through my pants.
“Please,” she whispered.
Fuuuuck…
That settled it.
“Come on,” I whispered back, taking Emilia’s hand in mine…
And led her into the nearest shrubbery maze.
I figured I’d followed Niccolo’s advice.
Now it was time to give Lucia’s a shot.