Chapter Fifteen
I wonder if it’s possible to die of shame. As I leave Caden’s mansion, I’m sure that’s exactly what I’ll do. We’ve been training all day. Caden was relentless. Every time I wanted to give up, he made me try again. And if I didn’t succeed, he retaliated. I can’t even count the number of times I tried to rip his clothes off. Quite literally. Caden’s shirt is missing a few buttons now.
Rey is waiting for me outside the house. Caden has ordered her to take me back to the palace. Only there, he believes, will I be safe from his enemies.
“Someone looks like they’ve had an intense workout,” she comments. Caden and I tussled a few times so my hair now looks like I’ve been caught in a hurricane.
I don’t like the way she emphasizes the word intense. Nor the way she winks at me, as if she knows exactly what happened in there between Caden and me.
“You must be exhausted, Miss Ashton.”
I save myself a snarky reply because I actually am. On the drive to the palace, my eyes fall shut a few times.
When we arrive, the sun has already set. The moon is pale in the sky, and the streetlights bathe the palace in a golden yellow light.
Erin collects me at the gate. I feel like I’m constantly being passed from one person to another. The last decision I made on my own was probably this morning when I decided to go back to the library. Clearly not my best moment.
“Ophelia’s already waiting for you,” Erin says.
It seems like she wants to say something else, but then she just gives a slight shake of her head.
I haven’t told the princess why I left the palace … or why I’m suddenly back on her doorstep now. She must think me terribly fickle. But at least she’s agreed to let me in, and when I enter her room she immediately embraces me.
“There you are. I’ve missed you. Are you all right?”
Taken off guard, I shrug.
“I thought it would be safe to return home, but it wasn’t,” I explain.
After all, she still thinks my biggest problem is the threat of Caden’s enemies. If only.
Ophelia shoots me a worried look. “They didn’t lie in wait for you, did they?”
“No, no, everything’s fine. I’m fine.”
The princess scrutinizes me, and I force myself to smile, though even that seems too much effort after the day I’ve had. Finally she nods.
“Let’s have some tea. You can tell me about it.”
Although I would prefer to fall right into bed, I accept the invitation. I tell Ophelia about Ava and Tinkerbell, my visit to the library, and my encounter with Caden. All the while leaving out anything to do with my newfound powers. There are so many gaps in my story that Ophelia should be suspicious, but her mind seems to be elsewhere. She stirs her tea absentmindedly until I place my hand on her arm.
“Is everything okay with you ?”
“Yes… No.” She shakes her head. “Father demands that I meet again with this young lord he’s trying to set me up with. Lord Ernest Diligence. Such a silly name.”
She laughs, but it doesn’t sound genuine.
“Would that be so bad?” I ask. “He seemed nice enough, didn’t he? And your father isn’t going to make you marry him, right?”
I wouldn’t put it past the king. Even Ophelia’s certainty seems to have waned some by now. She wrings her hands nervously.
“I won’t be able to stay unmarried forever. Someday I’ll have to take a husband. I know that. But…”
Her gaze wanders to the door, where Erin is standing watch on right outside. Revealing everything she dare not speak.
“Does she know?” I ask.
“What?”
Ophelia looks at me in alarm. I want to tell her not to worry, that her secret is safe with me, but I can’t find the right words.
“Erin would never do anything to compromise her position here at the palace,” Ophelia says.
She struggles to keep her voice firm, but I can pick out a slight tremor. It breaks my heart. Even if Erin feels the same way, they’ll never be able to be together. And it’s all because the king has decreed it so. For fear of sin mages who might feed on the passion of others.
For fear of the likes of me.
That night, I wake up to find Erin standing in my room, and for a brief moment I think she wants to talk to me about Ophelia. But then she nods toward the door, which is standing ajar. A narrow strip of light falls on the floor from the hallway.
“There's a call for you.”
Sleepily, I sit up and rub my eyes.
“For me? Why? Did something happen?”
No one knows I’m here except for Caden. Ava might have guessed, but how would she have gotten the number of the palace?
Erin tosses me the robe hanging over a chair next to my bed.
“Come on. I’ll take you to the phone room.”
Still drowsy, I put the dressing gown on over my long nightgown and rush after her without even bothering to put shoes on. The palace corridors are bathed in a dim light. Outside, it’s still dark. I can only just see the outlines of trees swaying in the breeze through the high windows. Somewhere a branch is knocked against a windowpane by the wind. The irregular beat makes me pick up my pace.
“It’s in here.”
Erin opens the door to a small room lit by a single floor lamp. The phone sits on a coffee table next to an armchair, the receiver is set down next to it. I hesitate to pick it up.
“I’ll leave you to it then,” Erin says, pulling the door shut behind her.
Reaching for the receiver, I falter for a second. I don’t know why but I get a feeling like I won’t like what awaits on the other end of the line.
My hunch is proven right a second later when an almost animalistic sound emanates from the phone, making me jump. I hurry to pick up the receiver and press it to my ear with trembling hands.
“Hello?” Silence. “Hello, is anyone there?”
“You should have told me!”
It’s Ava. She sounds angry. And hysterical.
“Ava, what’s wrong?” I ask. “How did you get this number?”
A snort. “Don’t act all sanctimonious. They told me. They told me you are a filthy liar!”
“Ava …”
Distraught, I shake my head. Did she find out about my secret? How? Maybe Mrs.Byron called our house and told her what happened this morning. Still, I find it hard to believe Ava would react this way.
“I’m sorry,” I say, but Ava interrupts me with an angry shout.
“You’re sorry? You’re sorry ? When I get my hands on you, you’re dead, bitch!”
Shocked by her outburst, I almost drop the phone.
“Ava, this isn’t like you,” I stammer.
Then I realize this really isn’t like her. My good-humored and loyal friend would never become so angry, unless…
“Is there someone with you?”
“ Is there someone with you? ” she mimics me. “Like you care! You and your little secrets. Always pretending to be better than me. Always so pure, so lofty. And all this time you’ve just been a pathetic little sinner.”
Her words hurt. They bring tears to my eyes, but I can’t think about myself right now. Ava’s in danger. A sin mage must be close by. Someone who told her about my powers and then took advantage of her confusion and incited her anger. If I don’t do something, Ava could hurt herself or others.
“I’m coming over,” I tell her.
Ava lets out a menacing laugh.
“Yeah, you do that. Come on over. I’ll show you what I do to dirty liars like you.”
Her furious screaming is still ringing in my ears when I hang up the phone. I am shaking with dread.
It’s probably a stupid idea to go back to our apartment. In her state she might hurt me. But if the sin mage is still with her, her life is in danger. And it’s my fault. For alerting Caden’s enemies to my existence, and therefore to hers.
I square my shoulders, trying to quell the trembling. Hastily, I wipe the tears from my cheeks. I can’t let Erin see me like this, or she’ll stop me from leaving the palace. Heart racing, I open the door to the hallway.
The guard is leaning against the opposite wall with her arms crossed. When she sees me, she straightens.
“Can you do me a favor?” I ask her.
“Of course, what do you need?”
“Could you call Mr.Nox and tell him I left something at my apartment? He’s forbidden me to go there again, so…”
I pray she doesn’t hear the quiver in my voice. I want to scream at her; every second I stand here is one second wasted.
Erin frowns. “You want me to call him right now?”
“Yes, please. I really need to get it right away.”
“What is it? Maybe Ophelia can–”
“No,” I interrupt her harshly.
Now Erin knows for sure that something is wrong, but I don’t give her time to think about it.
“Just call him! Tell him to drive over there right away. My roommate knows what it’s about. She’s expecting him.”
I push her toward the phone room and expect her to resist. But she just shrugs.
“If it’s that important to you.”
“It is.”
As the door closes behind Erin, I dare to breathe a sigh of relief. Now I can only hope she reaches Caden and he actually drives to my apartment. If not, I’m the only one who can save Ava. And I have no idea how to do that.
I don’t take the time to change. Wrapped in my dressing gown, I run through the palace. I come across a maid who stares at me open-mouthed, but she doesn’t stop me.
“Can I help you, miss?” I hear a male voice from somewhere.
I ignore it. If I’m lucky, I’ll manage to persuade the guard at the gate to call me a car. If I’m unlucky, I’m stopped before reaching the exit, and then Ava is left to fend for herself.
How could I be so thoughtless? All this time, the only thing I’ve been worried about is my own safety. About Caden’s enemies getting their hands on me . Why did I never consider that Ava—my roommate and best friend—might be in danger too?
As I reach the courtyard and hurry across the gravel, I wish I had at least taken the time to put on shoes. A sharp-edged stone cuts into the sole of my foot. I ignore the pain and focus entirely on the guardhouse in front of me. There’s a light on inside. The guard stationed there has already spotted me. I can see him squinting to get a better look, and astonishment shows on his face as he steps outside.
“Please,” I gasp, completely out of breath, “I need a car!”
“Is everything all right, miss?”
“Car. Now!” I order him. “Or you’ll answer directly to Princess Ophelia about your lack of assistance. This is a matter of life and death.”
The guard looks taken aback. I’ve never before spoken to another human like that. I want to slap my hand over my mouth and apologize to him, but that seems counterproductive.
He scrutinizes me from top to bottom. His gaze lingers on my injured foot. Blood stains the white gravel beneath my feet red. The guard slowly shakes his head.
“I’m sorry. I can’t just call you a car. It’s against regulations.”
This can’t be happening! Ava’s life depends on me getting a car.
I do the only thing I can think of. I rip my dressing gown off my shoulders and start unbuttoning my nightgown. One button at a time. It worked for Caden, after all.
It doesn’t matter if I’m his type. The sight of naked skin is something so rare that it will for sure upset him.
The guard’s cheeks turn pale. He shakes his head in confusion.
“Miss, what are you doing?”
“I’m so warm.”
My face burns with shame, but I keep going. The tops of my breasts are already showing. The guard is breathing heavily.
“Miss,” he groans.
He peeks around furtively, then settles his gaze on my hand, which pauses over the next button.
I feel his growing desire and reach for it. I’ve never consciously fed on a human before. So far, Caden and I have only trained how to stop that from happening. But now I pounce on the man’s desire like it’s my last meal.
His eyelids flutter, and he lets out a guttural moan. I want to stop as he starts toward me, to let go of the thread, but I can’t. Not yet.
The guard’s hand moves to my hip, carefully inching its way up. I sense his desire for my bare skin. I felt it when Caden used his powers on me, so I know how this man must be feeling right now. Still, I want to slap his hand away and run as fast as I can. The taste of his lust is heavy and sweet on my tongue. I suppress a gag.
Not yet.
He moves his hand over my chest toward the opening of my nightgown. Panic rises in me. What if I don’t manage to let go of the thread in time? What if—
But then it all happens at once. The guard touches my skin. A soft sigh escapes his lips. At the same time, I let go of the thread. My hand goes to his face, and I slap him hard before backing away.
“Wretched sinner!” I shout, and I don’t even have to pretend to be outraged.
The guard blinks in confusion, then turns bright red.
“Miss, please, I don’t know what happened. I…”
He bends down, picks up my dressing gown, and holds it out to me.
“Please!”
I know what he’s concerned about. If I tell on him, he’ll lose more than just his employment. We share a secret now. And that secret gives me power over him. That’s exactly what I’ve been counting on.
With a scowl, I snatch the robe from him and cover my exposed skin.
“Get me a car. Right. Now,” I hiss. “And you’re driving.”
A chauffeur would only ask questions, and I have no desire to put on a show again. My heart is still pounding.
“But miss,” protests the guard, “I shouldn’t. I’m not allowed to leave my post.”
“There are other things you also shouldn’t do but still did. I wonder what the king would have to say about that.”
“Please, miss. Please don’t.”
I feel horrible threatening the young man like this, but I’m running out of time. Helplessly, he looks around us, as if expecting help from something or someone.
“Get on with it!”
He flinches violently when I yell at him, but at least he’s moving now. The guardhouse is where they keep the keys to the royal vehicles. He takes one of them from the key rack and hesitates briefly before joining me outside again.
“Which car?” I ask.
He points to a shiny black limo parked not far from us. I suppress the impulse to start sprinting. It’s important that the guard thinks I have everything under control. Even if it feels like there’s not a stone left standing in my world.
Hold on, Ava, I plead silently. I’m coming.