Chapter 35
Jannis
Time passed far too quickly. Tomorrow we’re going back home, and I’m not really prepared to go to school in a week and a half. I’m scared of coming back from summer vacation as a gay couple.
Complete nonsense, I’m the outsider anyway, nothing is going to change. I simply don’t exist in class, I’m not sure how I could deal with constant stupid comments. That would probably hurt more.
“Hey, kid. You look so sad. What’s wrong?” Louis plops down next to me in the sand. “Don’t worry—I’m alone. David is still shopping for tomorrow, then he has to pack. Where’s Dayyan?”
“He’s out with Flocke and he wanted to call his parents. We’re meeting here.”
“Are you okay?”
My gaze speaks a thousand words and my brother laughs. “You know the answer, don’t ask such stupid questions.”
“But I don’t understand why. You two are cute together. Dayyan is good for you, and you seem to have fun. At least that’s how it sounded last night.”
Oh God, I’ll never live this down, I know it. Blood rushes to my head, my cheeks get hot, and I know I’m glowing red like a fire alarm.
“You don’t have to be embarrassed. You’re both consenting adults and sex is the most normal thing in the world. Even between two men.” It’s getting worse and worse.
“I know that, that’s not it. I... I’m afraid of school.”
“You want to come out?”
“We’re in the same class, I don’t think we can hide it. It didn’t work for David and you either, at least not at first.”
A loving grin spreads across Lou’s face and he shakes his head.
“True, that didn’t work. Not everyone will like you’re together, just like not everyone was happy when Valérie came out as non-binary.
But your class was cool about it, chances are good they will be now, too.
And I’m sure Val will support you if you need it.
” I nod silently. He’s right about everything.
“Have you talked to Dayyan yet? What does he want?”
“What do I want about what?” Dayyan throws his arms around me from behind and kisses me passionately on the cheek. My laugh breaks out naturally, light and free. I grab Dayyan’s forearms and pull him even closer to me, breathing in his scent.
“And I’m out. Love to see you like this. Don’t let anyone take that away from you.” Lou walks away, laughing.
“What were you talking about?” Dayyan sits behind me, his head resting on my neck. His breath blows over my bare skin in a light breeze. “It was about me, wasn’t it?”
There is an uncertainty in his voice he rarely shows.
“About us. I’m scared of what will happen when we get home. When we’re back at school. Do you want to... should we keep this to ourselves for now, or...?”
“Sunshine, even if I wanted to, I don’t think I could pretend we’re just friends at school. I don’t care what the others say or whether they can handle it or not. I don’t have friends in our class anyway; I have nothing to lose. Except myself, if we hide.”
My vision blurs. I try to wipe the first tears from my eyes, but it’s no use. They run down my cheeks unchecked. Not out of fear or sadness, not even out of relief. I’m just happy.
Tomorrow, the fear will probably return, along with the gnawing feeling that this happiness could be taken away from me so very quickly, but for now I push those thoughts aside, turn around in Dayyan’s arms and let myself fall onto him.
All the air rushes from his lungs and a choking sound escapes from his mouth before he bursts into loud laughter.
“Ouch, you’re heavy.”
I roll my hips once. My cock rubs against his and Dayyan’s eyes close.
“You’ve never complained about my weight before.
Should I move?” Once more, I press my cock into his crotch, and this time he pushes back, increasing the friction.
Fuck, what he’s doing to me isn’t normal anymore.
What happened to shy, thoughtful, and reserved?
Have I changed, or have I always been this way and just never had the chance to really be myself?
My family would say I’ve always been this way, even if no one believed them. It was our family secret. A grin spreads across my face.
“What?”
“Thank you.”
“For what now?”
“For letting me be myself with you.”
Dayyan smiles at me. “Who else would you want to be? And can you be yourself in the mobile home too?”
I look at him innocently. “But, ma lune, the sunset?” The one in five hours.
“Definitely not. Roll down.” He lifts his hips to throw me off, but I’m taller and heavier than him, and if I don’t want to cooperate, he doesn’t stand a chance. I resolutely keep my hips in place.
“Ah, fuck, you’re a tease. There are people everywhere, we can’t.
..” He’s damn right, but I can make him so hot he loses all his senses.
I love coming with him, but I love playing with him even more.
It's intoxicating, better than any drug my mother ever shot up, because my high isn’t followed by a total crash down.
What remains is closeness and the incredible feeling of belonging somewhere.
“How brave are you?”
“What do you mean?”
“Even if we go back now, I’m pretty sure Louis and David are at the mobile home, and we both know you can hear everything.” And I mean everything. Dayyan and I weren’t the only ones who came last night. The way their bed slammed against the wall, things must have gotten a little rough.
“True. Damn it. What are you planning? You know a secret place around here?”
I can’t believe I’m saying this. Me. “Not secret, but it’s usually empty at this time of the day. So, are you feeling brave?”
Dayyan grins mischievously. “Still waters run deep, or how does that go? Okay, I’m in.”
Once again, he presses his hard cock up against mine. “Now get off me.”
Holding hands and kissing, we walk across the campsite, and I turn left at one of the bathhouses.
“Are you kidding me?”
“Are you scared?” I whisper in his ear.
With fire in his eyes, Dayyan presses me against the wall and grabs my crotch. I love challenging him, and I love it even more when he accepts the challenge. “Definitely not.”
I am, but I don’t tell him that. My heart is pounding in my throat as I pull him into the shower and lock the door behind us. I put my finger on his lips and he nods. No more talking. I pull down my swim shorts and do the same to Dayyan.
I never would’ve thought I’d be the one calling the shots during sex, but with Dayyan it’s different.
He’s so open and up for anything, I’m not afraid of doing something wrong.
He’s playful and curious and so completely okay with himself and his body, with me as a man.
Impatiently, he pushes me under the warm stream of water and against the tile wall.
His naked body covers mine, our cocks touch, and goosebumps spread across my chest.
Fuck, this is so sexy. Dayyan kisses me hard, rolls his hips against mine, and our cocks rub together.
This is by far the hottest thing I’ve ever done.
Although I tell myself that every time we mess around, but I really mean it this time.
I grab Dayyan’s ass and pull him even closer to me.
My grip is firm and I pull his ass cheeks apart.
“Oh, fuck yes.” Dayyan moans. Does that mean...? Wait. Does he want to...? Oh. Ohhh.
Not something to discuss here and now. For today, I push his upper body back, and Dayyan is about to protest when I put my hand around our cocks.
“Ahh. What are you doing?”
“Sht.” I thrust once into my fist to give him a first taste of what’s in store for him, and his knees tremble.
In a slow rhythm, I slide up and down our lengths. It’s hell, pure torture and Dayyan squirms in my arms.
It’s not enough to come, but too much to just stop. I know my boyfriend, he’s very patient, always, except when it comes to sex. That’s why I’m not surprised when he gives in and thrusts powerfully into my hand. Once, twice, three times.
“Fuck...” He thrusts faster, his movements frantic, chasing his climax and mine along with it. His cock slides up and down along mine and there’s no turning back for me. My body tenses, only to let go with his next thrust.
I bite Dayyan’s shoulder to keep from screaming, and he presses his face into my chest. His cock pulses against mine, his slender body twitches, then he collapses onto my chest.
The water has stopped running, and I press the button again, giving us a chance to catch our breath with the sound of the running water.
***
Much later, after dinner, when the sky is glowing in the most beautiful shades of red, I sit on the beach with my brothers.
It’s our tradition. On the last evening, the three of us watch the sunset together hoping it will be extra spectacular.
I hear the waves washing up on the beach and breaking there, and watch the sun sink into the sea on the horizon.
“I never would’ve thought you capable of that, by the way. Chapeau.” Luca nudges me from the side grinning smugly.
“What do you mean?”
“In the showers in the bathroom building. And then in the one closest to our pitch. Not bad.”
Thank God the sky is so red it bathes everything in a pink glow. My face is burning. “What are you talking about?”
“There’s no point in denying it. Valérie saw you go in, and when you didn’t come out, I went to check.” Ground? Hole? Now, please.
“We were showering.”
Louis nods knowingly. “I already knew you were the still water type, but your still water is Lake Baikal.”