Chapter 39
Jannis
“What are we doing today? Where are we going?” Dayyan looks at me questioningly as we walk down the stairs to the train station. “We’re going somewhere, right?”
Like an excited little kid, he pulls on my hand, and it’s cuter than it should be for a nineteen-year-old. “It’s a surprise, and when we get to the platform, you’ll know where we’re going anyway.”
He snorts but trots patiently alongside me.
“Karlsruhe. We’re going to Karlsruhe?”
I nod before leaning over to his ear again. “Lou and David have a game today, and on vacation you said you’d like to see them play.”
Dayyan recoils in surprise. “Are you serious? Cool, thanks.”
He throws his arms around me exuberantly, stretches up for a kiss, and I am only too happy to lean in and give him what he wants.
Dayyan is usually calm and collected, unless he’s looking forward to something, then he gets excited and a little wild.
So I’m not surprised he doesn’t just kiss me, but also lets his tongue join in.
And well, I’m only human, I could never deny him a proper kiss.
Let’s be honest, I can’t deny him anything, I’m putty in his hands, I’m just incredibly lucky to have a boyfriend who doesn’t take advantage of that.
“So, what’s the plan?”
“Lou and David will pick us up from the station and take us to the sports hall. Of course, they have to be there earlier, so we’ll have to wait a bit, but we can watch the teams warm up. Afterwards, we’ll go out for burgers.”
***
“They’re pretty fast and their shots have such a force, holy shit.” Dayyan watches the action on the court with admiration. The actual game hasn’t even started yet and he’s already overly excited.
The hall fills up around us, and the teams leave the court. “Where are they going? I thought it was about to start?”
I look at him, frowning. “Have you ever been to a sporting event before?”
“No, why? My parents aren’t really into that kind of thing.”
Okay, now it all makes sense. “The teams are going back to the locker room for a quick pep talk, to discuss strategy and stuff. Then it’ll start.”
Completely stunned, Dayyan watches the ball fly across the court. Louis has interrupted an opponent’s attack and passed to David, who is already sprinting toward the opponent’s goal. David grabs the ball out of the air, takes three steps, and takes off. Goal.
It’s not the first time today they've made that play, a fast break counter so perfectly coordinated, the opponents don’t stand a chance. It’s their specialty. Lou and David beam at each other and high-five.
“Why don’t they kiss?”
I laugh. “They’re completely in the zone, highly focused. Right now, they’re not a couple, right now they’re teammates who work together perfectly and score awesome goals. Nothing else matters.”
My explanation doesn’t seem to convince Dayyan, but he turns back to the game.
“Oh, fuck! What... Shit, he’s lying there! Is that normal?”
No, it’s not normal. Louis is lying on the floor after a violent body check and isn’t moving. It’s dead quiet. The hall around me becomes blurry. All I can see is my brother and David kneeling over him.
Coaches are running onto the court. Not good, not good at all. Dayyan grabs my hand. “Hey, I admit it looks dramatic right now, but I’m sure everything will be fine. Louis is tough.”
“He’s not conscious.”
“Yes, he is, he grabbed David’s hand.”
Then why isn’t he getting up? When he’s still lying in the same spot five minutes later, my patience is at an end. Dayyan was right, he is conscious, so why can’t he get on his feet? I grab my boyfriend’s hand and pull him toward my brother as paramedics and an emergency doctor rush into the hall.
My heart skips a beat. Louis is injured, seriously injured, or there wouldn’t be an emergency doctor.
My legs run on their own, I have no control over them.
I have to get to my brother. Something is holding me back and I fight against it, trying to break free, but I don’t stand a chance.
“Let them do their job, it’s the only thing helping Louis right now. Come on, let’s see after David.”
Tears are streaming down David’s face when we reach him. “What happened?”
Dayyan puts his arm around him as he asks the question, and David slumps against him. “Lou hit the ground neck first and he says it cracked. That’s why we didn’t move him.”
Now the neck brace makes sense. “He has no sensory loss, he can feel his arms and legs, he can move his fingers and toes.”
That’s good. That’s the best possible scenario. I breathe a sigh of relief as the paramedics transfer Louis to the stretcher.
“I want to go with him.” In three long strides, David is back at my brother’s side. Louis smiles through the pain. “Can I come with him?”
“Only family or coaches.”
“I’m his partner. We’re together.”
“Family or coaches.”
“I think your presence is needed.” Dayyan pushes me decisively toward the scene.
“I’m coming with him. Dayyan can take you to the hospital.” The voice of the voice output is much calmer than my own could ever be in this situation.
“Who are you?”
“That’s my brother.”
The hospital isn’t far away, but Louis disappears into the emergency room far too quickly and I’m left sitting in the waiting area. Dayyan and David are on their way. They’ve packed up David and Louis’s things and should be there in the next twenty minutes.
The scene of Lou’s fall plays in slow motion in my head.
It happened so fast. For a brief moment, I thought he was dead, but David was too calm for that.
Fortunately, my mind quickly dismissed the idea.
But it could have happened; he could’ve broken his neck and everything would’ve been over. So quickly, in a heartbeat, just gone.
“Any news yet?” David comes running into the waiting area, completely out of breath, looking at me imploringly. When I shake my head, he collapses into the chair next to me.
“Fuck. That asshole had been targeting him the whole game, and I didn’t react.”
“Louis was too fast and too agile for him, he was frustrated.”
“Probably. Is he in the MRI?” I nod in confirmation.
“Where’s Dayyan?”
“He’s looking for a parking spot. He dropped me off at the main entrance.”
We wait almost two hours before we’re finally allowed to see Louis. He’s lying in a darkened room, awake and in good spirits. No ICU. David is waiting outside the door with Dayyan so I can speak.
We already know that, fortunately, nothing is broken, but his spine is badly bruised, and the doctors suspect a concussion. That’s why they want to keep Lou in overnight for observation.
“Fuck, I was so scared. At first I thought you were unconscious, and then the emergency doctor arrived.”
Louis reaches for my hand. “I’m sorry I scared you that much. This is standard protocol at our club when spinal injuries are suspected. Better safe than sorry.”
Handball is a tough sport, so it’s not surprising there are clear guidelines for such cases. “I’m just glad that the suspicion wasn’t confirmed.”
“Me too.”
“Would it be okay with you if I sent David back in and we left? I hate hospitals.”
Louis nods and grins. “Thanks for coming with me anyway and distracting me on the ride.”
I told him dirty jokes with my phone. I was desperate and clueless, and that was the first idea that came to mind.
Maybe inappropriate, but hey, I’m the little brother, not an emergency counselor, and the paramedic had a really hard time to pull himself together.
I give my brother another big hug, then head for the door.
The first step out of the hospital is liberating. I take a deep breath in and out. Again. My legs are shaking and my vision is blurry.
“It’s all right. Just a concussion. Nothing dramatic happened.
” Dayyan hugs me tightly. His body presses firmly against mine.
There’s no one else in the world I’d rather be standing here with, no one else I’d rather be held by.
No one else could have calmed me down like this.
My heart has never beaten like this for anyone else, not even for Danny.
“I love you.”
“What?” Shit, did I say that out loud? Oh my God. Dayyan looks at me, confused and incredulous. As if I were the one with the concussion.
“I said that out loud, didn’t I?”
Dayyan nods.
“There are probably more romantic places than here in front of a hospital, but somehow I just realized that. You don’t have to say it back. It’s okay.” Even though it would hurt like hell, I was so sure.
Dayyan cups my face with both hands. “What did you say?”
“I love you.”
“I love you too, sunshine. So much.” Then he pulls me in and kisses me until I lose all sense of space and time. It certainly wasn’t the perfect “I love you,” but it was ours, and that’s more than enough.