Chapter 14
FOURTEEN
I watched from afar as Fohr’s team huddled around him, throwing one demand after the other. After the tenth rule, he was no good. He was lost in the new concept of baseball. For now, everything he’d ever known had been changed. Everything except the game itself.
The connection we’d developed over the last month and a half was fading with each word his team spat in his direction. And, with each passing second my discomfort grew. I was beginning to feel as though I didn’t belong. I was simply a fly on the wall, taking up space that wasn’t required.
Slowly, as they fired off new pieces of information, I slid across the wall until I felt the cold air from the hallway hit my back.
Fohr’s head was in a faraway place, allowing me to slip from his boardroom unnoticed.
I rushed down the hallway, up the stairs, and into the bedroom I’d called my own since the first day at his home.
I dumped my things into my suitcase several pieces at a time.
Neatness was the least of my worries for now.
Leaving the place that had been my safe haven over the last few weeks and entering my truest, safest place was my only priority.
It was tailored for moments and feelings and fears just as the ones I was currently experiencing.
Within ten minutes I’d packed away my things and was carrying them down the stairs two suitcases at a time.
At the bottom of the stairs they gathered until I was ready to pack them away in my car.
I was so lost in Fohr’s world that I’d forgotten mine existed.
It was blissful, we were blissful. But, reality had kicked us both in the gut without mercy.
Not only had he received a call from a previous lover, but his team had stormed his place and insulted me in the process.
In no time, he’d be on a plane to some place and I’d be home, again, where it all had begun.
Life was set to resume and I was still stuck on our time together.
I wasn’t ready for it to end, but I didn’t have much of a choice.
So, quietly, I stored my bags, started my car, and pulled out of his driveway with my heart on my sleeves.
Soundlessly, I made the journey to the home that would bring me the peace I needed to think better.
To see better. To feel better. And, to listen better to the small voice in my head serving as a reminder that no matter how reality sat in, what Fohr and I shared was real.
To better suppress Olivia’s question and reminder of my position in Fohr’s life.
Numbness led me to my driveway. I didn’t have the strength to bring my bags in, so I let them rest where they were. I entered the door, welcomed by the familiar scent of my home.
My, I’ve missed you.
But, I miss his more.
Fohr’s place had began to feel too much like home. He was beginning to feel too much like home. Having him snatched from right in front of me was disheartening. Though his absence wasn’t final, it was overwhelming.
A text message vibrated the phone in my purse. I dug around inside, finally retrieving it after a struggle. My heart pumped with hope. I was prayerful of the appearance of an unknown set of numbers on the screen.
Shucks, Ko.
It was my sister. Defeated, I unlocked the phone and found a link to a social media profile.
Unfortunately for her, that man is as good as gone.
The picture linked to the message was one of a beautiful girl and an arm full of tattoos that I knew all too well. They’d been pressed against me every night for a month straight.
Now that that’s over, I’m ready for some alone time with my favorite person.
The caption was large and in bold print on the gossip page. My heart plummeted to the ground.
AngelCalissea.
The name of the original poster ruffled my feathers and toyed with my thoughts.
She wasn’t the same person that had called him just an hour ago.
This was someone completely different. I closed my eyes, considering the fact that I wasn’t the only person Fohr spent time with, plunging into their uterus, and filling their head with sweet nothings.
The idea was repulsive. The possibility that anyone else had been stroked the way he’d stroked me or regarded the way I had been over the last few weeks was sickening.
“Ugh.”
I considered calling Ko to vent about the situation in totality, but I didn’t have the energy. I wanted my couch. I wanted my wine. And, I wanted my pajamas.
Him, too. The version of him that he led me to believe he was. The version of him that felt good. Felt right. Felt worthy.
But, he was too farfetched, so I settled for the others and powered off my cell altogether. The fate of our future felt a little less certain now. The feelings I’d began developing for him felt a little less deeper now.
Was it all made up?
Was I dreaming?
The questions led me to my bedroom, into my closet to retrieve my pajamas, and into the kitchen to pour a cold glass of wine from one of the bottles in the freezer.
Is the Fohr I know even real?
He felt real.
He smelled real.
He sounded real.
I’d touched him.
I’d kissed him.
I’d sucked him.
I’d held him.
I’d fed him.
I’d bathed him.
He was real, I concluded. Because that was the only logical answer.
And, this is all a misunderstanding.
Or a loss. I contradicted.
Optimism failed me.
A knock at the door startled me. I whipped my head around, shoving my emotions down my throat as I did so.
Fohr?
Without hesitation, I was up on my feet and pulling at the handle. To my surprise, a white envelope waited for me on the porch. The delivery guy was already on the next porch. With my wine in hand, I picked up the government issued medication and slipped back inside of my home.
As I tore through the white envelope, I found four pills.
They were in a bottle much like the one Fohr held an hour and a half ago.
The revelation of his team’s negligence quickly left a bitter taste in my mouth.
They’d equipped themselves and Fohr with the antiviral medication and left me to fend for myself.
The help. I shook my head, recalling how Olivia had begged for my assistance just a month and a half ago. She stood out in the rain waiting for her boss to hear the same answer she’d heard hours prior. Suddenly, I was the help.
“Comical.” I chuckled to keep from crying.
True to my nature, I was a maid. And, Fohr’s maid, nonetheless. But, I was far from the person she was making me out to be with her distasteful remarks.
Everything about the day felt like a sad joke. From the moment Fohr and I stepped out of the shower, things began to go downhill. Water wasn’t on my list of options at the moment. There was only wine. Wine. And more wine.
I tossed two pills back and used wine to wash them down. According to the reports, they were rapid release capsules and would begin their job within seconds of consumption. In under a minute, I would be exempt from the pool of people who could still contract the virus.
Thank you, God.
I plopped down on my couch with a heavy head and an even heavier heart. My stiff nostrils warned me before the first tear stained my cheek. Yet and still I didn’t know I was crying until the saltiness slid from my face onto my satin pajama top.
I wiped my face with the back of my hand, attempting to clear the evidence of my burdened heart. It was pointless. I swallowed the pride my father had bestowed in me and placed the wine glass on the table in front of me.
I pulled the knitted blanket up over my feet and up my body until it was tucked underneath my chin. And like the bruised-hearted girl I was, I allowed my silent tears to blend with the fabric of my couch.
“So, just to be clear and make sure you have it all,” Olivia rattled off, “Plane. Straight to the physician’s office. Testing. Once cleared, team hotel where you will stay the night. First thing in the morning, we’re up and at it. Team meeting.
“It will be a long one so we need to get with the nutritionist to get you something on your stomach. After the team meeting, practice. You have to touch the field. It’s been over a month. They want to see where everyone is right now. Mentally. Physically. All of that.
“Then, it’s press conference. The cameras will be out. The world is in a frenzy right now. They want to know what is on everyone’s mind, including players of the league. Team dinner. And then we have the endorsement deal to sign. After that, you–”
I had tuned her out at the mention of food. There had been one person making sure I was fed well and kept my regime throughout this time. I searched the room but couldn’t find her.
While Olivia continued, I stood on my feet and made my way toward the door. She followed behind me, still going over my schedule for the next two days.
We would be playing soon. That was the most important message in the words she kept tossing in my direction. I’d be ready. That’s all I knew and that was all she needed to know.
I peered out into the hallway, expecting to find Kit somewhere prancing about. She was a loner at heart. The sudden rush of people into my home had overstimulated her. I wanted to make sure she was alright and all was well. But, she was nowhere in sight.
The kitchen was empty.
The dining room was empty.
The theater room was empty.
I took the stairs two by two with Olivia on my tail.
“Did you hear me? You play the Seals in two days!”
The bedroom she slept in the first few days of her stay was empty.
The closet where she hung her clothes was empty.
And, for the first time since I met her, I felt empty.
“Where is she?”
“Where is who?”
“Kit.”
“You mean the maid?”
“No, I mean what the fuck I said. Where is s–” I paused, taking a second to gather my thoughts. “What’s up with you and this disrespectful ass time you’re on tonight, Olivia?”
“I just want to make sure you’re focused, Fohr. We don’t need any distractions.”
“Quite frankly, you’re the only distraction tonight. I made myself clear downstairs and you’ve failed to follow through. Sam can handle it from here, Olivia. Goodnight.”
“Goodnight? We have–”
“We don’t have shit. Sam!”
I rushed down the stairs, bumping into Sam as he was headed up.
“What’s good, Boss?”
“Consider yourself promoted. See Olivia out of my door.”
“Fohr. Seriously? I don’t understand.”
“I know, and that’s why you’re being escorted out of my house. Disrespect for Kit in her presence or when she’s not in the room won’t be tolerated. If you can’t understand that, then you’re not cut out for this team. That goes for you and anyone else.”
“Are you invol–”
“Goodnight, Olivia.”
“Fohr. Let’s talk abou–”
“Sam, get her out of my shit. I’ve been sparing her for too long. That shit ends today.”
Waitresses. Janitors. Hosts. Concierge. Valet.
There was a pattern with Olivia. Over the years she’d become increasingly rude to everyone who serviced us in some way.
Her head had gotten too big for her fucking shoulders.
She felt as if everyone was beneath her now because she was the closest thing to me.
I was the pro ball player and I was respectful of everyone I encountered. It didn’t matter their occupation. If she couldn’t do the same, she wasn’t fit for my team. It didn’t matter how well she performed and how good she held shit down for me. It was unacceptable.
She was right about one thing, though, and that was the fact that I didn’t need any distractions. I couldn’t chase Kit today. It wouldn’t be a wise idea with a game ahead of me, but time was on my side. And, the first break in my schedule would include a visit to her.
Sorry, sweet baby.
In what felt like seconds, I was climbing the steps of the plane with Kit heavy on my dome. My team, minus one very important person, was all in tow and making their way to their desired seats. I took the first lounging section available in the cabin.
Olivia.
It felt weird not having her in my ear rattling off important information, but the silence was welcoming. Sam’s face was buried in the business line he’d gotten from her on her way out of the door. He hadn’t stopped reading the screen since we left the house and piled into the SUVs.
I decided against sulking on the situations in my life that had rapidly become issues.
I needed to make a few calls and they started with my mother and father.
It was important they knew the game would restart soon.
But, even more importantly, they needed to know their son would be alright.
I’d consumed the antiviral medication and my system was building a force field to stop the intrusion of Blunder.
Unlocking my cell posed a new problem. A slew of messages began raining in.
Three from women saved in my phone under names that helped me remember who they were, where we’d met, and my interest level since the last time we’d spoken.
Unfortunately for them all, I was no longer interested in anyone but Kit.
And, to my dismay, I didn’t have a number on her. She wasn’t saved in my contacts.
With the revelation stabbing me directly in the chest, I accepted the glass of water the flight attendant was handing me.
I took a healthy gulp to quench my thirst. When the glass was released from my lips, it met the screen of my cell.
I submerged the rectangular device in the liquid. There was no use for it anymore.
I was ready to rid myself of old habits, old attachments, and others of instant access to me.
It started with a new phone, number change, and completely new way of handling my private affairs.
Kit was it for me. She’d know it. Understand it.
Feel it. That was important to me. She was important to me.
My sweet baby.
I reclined my seat slightly, preparing for the journey ahead. I wasn’t sure where I was headed, but I didn’t care to ask. The league had put a shelter in place for players that required our presence forty-eight hours before each game until Blunder was a thing of our past.
“Sam–”
“Yea, Boss?”
“Wake me up when we land.”
“Alright.”
I closed my eyes and the prettiest woman in the world appeared behind my lids, reminding me that she wasn’t a figment of my imagination. She was real and she was mine.