Chapter 5
FIVE
I gazed at my reflection in the mirror, pressing my palms against my dress and moving them downward to iron the invisible wrinkles. My reflection highlighted the fresh bruises on my arm. I winced in pain at the thought of falling off the jet ski and colliding with the water. Hadn’t my arm hit the side, then there would be no evidence of my fall. However, that would’ve been too much like right in my world.
Bruising aside, I admired the red dress on my frame. The silk fabric clung to me, the richness of its color flexing with each movement of mine. Hadn’t the dress been chosen for me, I’d never consider it. But it was stunning. I was stunning. The man waiting for me was to be credited.
There was one thing that was made abundantly clear with each piece I’d worn since settling on the island. Makai was no stranger to quality. I’d also noted that either he had an eye for fashion or he knew exactly what looked splendid on his partner. The complaints were nonexistent. The appreciation was thick like bread that had yet to be sliced.
Because I didn’t want to keep him waiting much longer, I gathered my bearings and headed into the openness of the villa. The silk caressed my skin, swaying as I walked. I was careful not to step on the bottom while strutting in the new pumps that complimented the extravagant, yet simple piece.
Upon turning the corner, I hardly recognized the man before me. Dressed in tailored slacks and a shirt that matched the color I wore, he was tantalizing. On his feet were crushed velvet sneakers that revealed a red bottom when he walked. Upon noticing my entry, his feet halted.
Turning slowly, his bland expression transformed into a mouth-splitting, heart-shuddering smile that left me dazed. The epitome of perfection, he was unreal standing near the patio door. As if he’d just stepped out of a magazine, there wasn’t a piece of fabric or a hair strand out of place. Suddenly, I wondered if my stint in the mirror was long enough to check every box and match Makai’s appearance.
“Whaaaaat?”
The giddiness I felt was questionable. I wasn’t sure where it had come from or how it was derived, but it swelled my cheeks and stopped my heart, simultaneously. Makai’s glare was most likely to blame, as it was penetrating and deliberately after my entire nervous system.
“You look good, Mommas,” he complimented, raking his fingers through his beard as he nodded.
“Thank you.”
“You ’bout ready to eat?”
“Yes. I’m starving.”
Makai waved me over, extending a hand and waiting for me to join him by his side. Electric currents made the fine hairs on my arm stand when our fingers touched. The top layer of skin tingled as tiny, noticeable bumps rose painfully.
We stepped onto the deck where a table set for two and a young woman greeted us. Glass dinnerware and wine were among a few things that caught my eye. The gold domes that hovered over plates drew suspicion. I wanted to know what was underneath them. I’d only had two dishes from the island since we’d landed, and both were flavorful. With that knowledge, watching the domes made my stomach grumble.
“I’m Ayana, your private chef for the night. I’ve prepared three dishes for you to enjoy and paired them with a very bitter, sweet wine that I think you’ll appreciate. The appetizers are waiting. After twenty minutes, I will replace the food with dinner proportions. And then, finally, dessert, thirty minutes after.”
“Thank you.” I smiled, ready to dig into whatever was waiting for us.
“My pleasure. If you need me, I’ll be over there.”
She pointed to a small trailer that wasn’t present hours prior. The steam emitting from the vents let me know that more food was being prepared inside. I had new reasons to thank her. Though I wouldn’t have minded utilizing the kitchen in the villa for dinner, it was a bonus that she had her own space.
“Bet,” Makai responded.
He rounded the table, our fingers still interlocked, and slid the chair in front of us backward. Our disconnection was inevitable but I still found myself unprepared. My hand fell by my side, in its rightful place, though it was a place that no longer appeased me. I lowered my body into the chair, ready to fill my stomach to the brim.
The level of comfort I experienced with Makai near left me baffled. The simple thought of digging into my food and not stopping until my plate was clean or my helping was gone didn’t make my cheeks burn with embarrassment or manifest any shame. When he was finally seated and the lids were removed, the fried crab bites with a creamy sauce drizzled on top captured my undivided attention.
I stretched my hand across the table, eager to meet his again. He accepted the invitation to praise the Lord with a bow of his head. I closed my eyes, softly sealing my lids.
“Dear God, thank You. The food before us, bless it. Bless us. Bless the hands that prepared it. Bless the hands as they continue to prepare the remainder of it. Bless this trip. Bless the couples who have joined us on this trip. Bless their union. Bless their children. Bless their families. Amen.”
“Amen.”
Makai was the first to pull away, leaving my fingers deserted in the center of the table. He lodged the corkscrew in the center of the cork and began twisting until it popped out. My mouth watered, but it was quite difficult to determine whether it was overproducing saliva due to my desire for the liquid he was pouring into my cup, him, or the food in front of me.
“You and that fucking eye problem.” He tittered.
“Sorry. I’m just having a hard time concealing my admiration for the man before me. I’ll try to control myself.”
With reddened cheeks and rolling eyes, I smiled.
“It’s cool because when it’s my turn to stare, I won’t give a fuck and I won’t stop until I’m good and ready.”
I grabbed the glass of wine he’d poured, watching in silence as he poured from the clear bottle that held brown liquor.
“No wine?”
“I ain’t never been into that shit. I prefer to drink less and feel more. Straight, not a small percentage.”
Nodding, I placed the glass on my lips and tilted it upward. The coolness tickled my tongue. The sweetness rested against it. The slight bitterness awakened it.
“Ummm,” I praised the perfect combination.
“Good?” Makai sipped from his glass.
“It’s perfect.”
After choosing the accurate utensil, I stabbed the crab cake, scooping up a nice portion and discarding it in my mouth.
“Wow,” I gasped, overwhelmed by the combustion happening inside my mouth.
“Yeah, this shit heat,” Makai agreed, chewing a helping of his own.
We meddled with the silence, both stuffing our faces and embracing the new, yet astounding flavors of the island dish. Though the silence stretched far beyond the three-minute mark, somehow my comfort wasn’t altered. It wasn’t until I was bombarded with words that I began to unleash them.
“Had someone told me that I would be here, on an island with the man that saved my graduation day from disaster, I would’ve assumed they were lying two days ago.”
“Now that you’re here,” Makai started, “are you happy you came?”
Pausing to share his penetrating gaze, I nodded. “I am. I’ve enjoyed my time here so far.”
“Even the time spent in the water after falling off that jet?” He laughed.
“Even then,” I admitted.
He’d jumped off his to rescue me the second he noticed I wasn’t on mine anymore. His long arms pulled me from the water, hoisting me into the air so that I was back on my bike safely. But not before the moment we spent vest to vest, nose to nose, mouth to mouth, as we both found humor in my despair.
“You can’t swim, can you, Kiwi?” he asked, pecking my lips in between words.
“No.”
“Then let’s tighten this fucking life vest. I’d act a damn fool if I lose you before I’ve even had the chance to fully enjoy you.”
“Makai.” My jaws ached from smiling. “Fully enjoy me?”
“Yeah. If you die on me and I ain’t even hit that shit yet, I’ma need a refund or some shit.” Makai tightened the first strap so that my vest was snug against my body.
“Are you serious right now?”
“Dead serious, baby, so don’t tip over again. You’ll want to kill yourself all over if you go out before sampling this dick.”
“You’re truly insane.”
“What’s wrong with that?” he asked, tightening the final strap.
Honesty ruled in my world.
“Nothing,” I responded truthfully.
The edge it gave Makai, I adored.
“Exactly. Now get ya slow ass on here and don’t fall again.”
“I won’t,” I promised, balancing my weight on the jet ski .
“When we get back to the city, I’m tossing your ass in my pool. You can either sink or you can swim.”
“Is that an invitation to your home?”
“That’s an invitation to my heart,” he replied without hesitation.
The entire world stopped as the ringing of my ears began. I felt as if I’d been pushed into the deep end without a life jacket or a float. There was only me and then there was Makai.
I couldn’t find the words to say, so I remained soundless, examining every feature on his face while searching for signs of dishonesty. There were none.
“What’s the matter, Mommas?”
Lowering my eyes, I conjured words that weren’t as easy as others to emit.
“Where’d you come from?”
As the question surfaced, so did newfound emotions. I was desperate to know who this man was, where he’d come from, why he was treating me like precious gold when it would stop, and if I’d be able to recover. It had taken me two months to completely rip the remnants of my four-year relationship away from my heart. Somehow, Makai seemed impossible and it had barely been two days.
His spirit was alluring. His personality was captivating. His smile was charming. His wittiness was seductive. His spontaneity was enticing. And his oral sex, it was magic. He intrigued me in every way possible.
There had hardly been a dull moment with us. Though we’d been spending almost every minute together since we’d landed. I’d yet to grow tired of this man. I’d yet to crave my own space, which was preferred by every man I’d ever spent any amount of time with.
“The hood,” he admitted.
Shaking my head, I placed my fork on the table. My helping was gone and so was Makai’s. I retrieved my glass again, ready to fill the gaps of silence with words, with questions.
“When will it stop?”
“When will what stop?”
“The treatment. This treatment. The glorification. The effortless conversation. The intertwined fingers and care taken. When will it stop? And how far into your heart are you actually inviting me? I don’t want to be left at the surface.”
“When will it stop?” He sniggered, taking a sip from his cup. “I don’t know, Glacier. Probably when you’re begging me to get the fuck out of your face because you’re PMSing and need a punching bag or some shit. Probably when you’re pissed I didn’t make it to ya crib on time because I got tied up.
“Probably when you’re stressed and need time alone. Probably when you’re ovulating, horny, and need dick inside of you every hour of the day but a nigga is busy. Shit, I don’t know. That’s up to you. I won’t ever stop giving it, but there will be times when you’re up in your feelings and won’t be willing to receive it.”
“Is this your way of asking me to be your girlfriend, Makai? Because I’d need to hear the words from your mouth.”
“You won’t hear them, Mommas, because I ain’t asking you shit. I’m telling you what it is. You can either fall in line or fall in line. Because I’m reasonable, I gave you two options.”
“Reasonable?”
“Yes.”
He was serious. His straight face and rising brows proved his case.
“Have you ever been in love?”
Though the girls had made it clear that Makai had never been in love, I needed to hear it from him. With him being a secret romantic, it left me curious about his past.
“Yes.”
His answer was disheartening. I felt my limbs lock as he confirmed he’d fallen for partners in the past.
“Have you ever had your heart broken?”
I moved on, trying to recover from the first blow. Unfortunately, I was hit with another.
“Yes. Four times.”
Stunned, I swallowed my pride, fishing for more information.
“Really?”
“Once when I woke up to find my mother and pops in bed without pulses. Again when my sister-in-law was murdered. Again watching my brother suffer with no one to kill, no one to harm. And then, again, discovering Malachi had handled the deed without me.”
“Malach—”
“His wife, Anna, was murdered in their home, in front of my niece. She was only six months old.”
“My God.”
“Anna, my mother, and my aunt are the only two women I’ve loved without limits. I wouldn’t say that I was in love with them, but dammit, their deaths were enough to make me feel the pain of losing a spouse—especially Anna. That hit me right here.” He pointed to his chest. “Made my shit explode.”
“I’m so sorry that happened.”
“Me, too. Sorry for my brother, especially. Aeir has been his saving grace but it doesn’t negate the fact that he lost a love. No matter how much time passes, I still see the pain that resides in his eyes.”
“Seeing how he and Aeir are, I would’ve never known.”
“He’s head over heels for Aeir. He loves that woman down to his core. One wouldn’t know anything unless they knew Anna. She, too, was his heart.”
“Do you want children?”
“I’ve never considered it. I’ve never considered a significant other.”
“Seriously?”
“Yeah.”
“What changed? What made you change your mind? When did you change your mind?”
The last thing I wanted was to be so wrapped up in someone’s world that I didn’t recognize their lack of desire for partnership, no matter how much it seemed as though they were onboard. Communication was the simplest solution, but it wasn’t always utilized.
Slightly fearful of his answer, I watched his shoulders shrug as he leaned back in his chair. His dark orbs remained on me. Under his watchful eye, I was apprehensive, clinging to each second as if it were our last together. I’d learned the hard way, to appreciate moments for exactly what they were because they could end without as much as a decent goodbye.
Makai’s index finger shot daggers in my heart. A wink from his right eye left me breathless. The indication was one thing, but hearing confirmation made my knees weak and my chest ache.
“You.”
“Me?” I gulped the air that lumped in my throat.
“Yes. You hard of hearing now?”
“I’m not. Just… I wasn’t expecting… Never mind.”
“What’s with that face?”
Tilting his head, he waited patiently for a response.
“Just a bit… a bit baffled is all.”
“At what point did I confuse you so that we can revisit that very moment? I honestly don’t recall saying anything baffling.”
“You haven’t been in love. You haven’t had your heart broken by a lover. You’ve never considered a partner. You’ve never considered children. Makai, have you spent all this time alone?”
“What’s the point of settling when you know there’s someone out there that checks every one of your boxes?”
“You have boxes?”
“Not until I bumped into you. Suddenly, I realized why my interest was never piqued while dealing with other women. I never even gave a relationship with any of them a thought. I was all right spending my life as a bachelor. But when you hit my line… that shit went out the window.”
“Immediately?”
“Almost.”
“I find that funny and somewhat hard to believe.”
“I’m not trying to convince you to believe me, Glacier. You asked a question and received an answer. Whether you believe it or not is not my problem.”
“Fair enough.” I relaxed in my chair.
The chef made her way back to our table. Within seconds, our appetizers had been replaced with dinner. A piece of grilled fish topped a bed of rice with a red tomato sauce coating them both. Stuffed peppers served as our side, paired with a fluffy bread that smelled as sweet as it looked.
“If there’s anything else I can get you, please let me know.”
“Thank you.” Smiling, I nodded as she backed away from the table.
“Fair warning, I plan to clean as much of my plate as possible. This looks and smells delicious.”
“Do your thang, Mommas. If you big ya back, we just gon’ unbig that motherfucker with plenty water and cardio.”
“Water and cardio?” I cackled, not believing the things that came from his mouth.
“Fucking. I tried to keep it PG, but you pushed me.”
“I pushed you? I don’t recall.”
My body was on fire. I couldn’t control the laughter that continued pouring from me. He shrugged, caring little about the words he’d used.
By the time our plates were removed and the rum cake was settling in our systems, my cheeks burned and my lips ached. I’d lost count of how many times Makai had made me double over in laughter or smile until I felt the sides of my lips crack.
The moon cast a pastel blue finish over the water’s edge. I stared out into the endlessness of the night with a light heart and complacency residing in my bones. Even if only for a moment, perfection existed.
Dinner plates and dishes had been cleared. The table they sat atop was no longer reserving space on the deck. There was only us and the night’s breeze. It felt almost as good as Makai’s fingers as they glided across the side of my face. I leaned into his palm, pressing my cheek against it to feel the pressure. Security was the feeling I was searching for and the feeling I found easily in his embrace.
“A penny for your thoughts.”
Still peering out toward the sand I weighed my options. There were things on my mind that made my center throb and my tongue tingle. Telling Makai could bring them to fruition but I wasn’t sure that I was ready for the unraveling feelings that were sure to follow.
“I don’t want to go inside,” I admitted, sighing.
“Then we don’t have to.”
“I don’t think you understand.”
“Then help me.”
He turned my body until we were face to face. Those lips that I was continuing to fight my addiction for pressed against my forehead, the tip of my nose, and then my lips.
“Help me understand, Mommas.”
“I don’t want to sleep inside tonight. I want to be out there. Closest to the water. Don’t you hear it?”
“Glacier, it’s wha?—”
“Shhhh.”
Placing a finger to his lips, I silenced Makai, forcing him to join me in the tranquility of the night. Nodding his head, he listened along. And it wasn’t until my hand fell by my side that he spoke again.
“Gather the linen.”
He took off toward the house, pulling me along with him. I watched in utter shock as he removed the mattress from the bed after tossing me the cover on top of it.
“Lead the way,” he instructed, bringing the bed into the living room and then out on to the deck.
Happiness churned in my belly. I wasn’t sure if I wanted to bounce up and down or run out into the ocean in my pretty red dress. Both would, undoubtedly, release the tension in my body that was caused by unleashed excitement.
I marched toward the ocean’s edge, unable to contain myself and unable to believe such a blissful experience was in queue. My comprehension of the pending event was nonexistent. It wasn’t until Makai lowered the mattress onto the sand slowly, preventing a small sand storm, that it all smacked me in the chest, slamming into me like concrete pavers.
“Fuck you smiling so hard for?” Makai sniggered, plopping down on the bed.
Standing near him with the linen in my hand, I shook my head from side to side.
“Come ’er.”
He maneuvered my body until I was in front of him, between his thighs. He then lifted my dress slightly and demanded I rest my bones.
“Give me this shit and come ’er. You’re too far away.”
I wasn’t. I was right there, right where he wanted me. But still, I felt so far. We shared sentiments. I descended until my butt rested against his center. The rigidness beneath me pressed against my moistness.
“Better now?”
With lust-filled, low eyes, he nodded. Allowing my arousal to control my movements, I wrapped my arms around Makai’s neck, slowly swirling my hips to induce friction between us two.
“You think you slick, G,” he stated, lowly.
His words dripped with sex. Choosing not to respond because I halfway knew what he meant or was referring to, I continued grinding. To my surprise, his words were accompanied by warm, roaming extremities that located my precious bulb without removing my panties.
“Makaiiiiii.”
“Better now?” He repeated the words I’d spoken moments before.
My head rose and fell, matching my rhythm.
“Yeeeeeees.”
My nipples hardened, nearly tearing tiny holes in the silk that covered them. I leaned forward until Makai’s chin was between them. Sensing my urgency, he peeled back the fabric with his mouth and circled my right nipple.
The straps fell from my shoulders as my body contracted, shriveling under Makai’s influence. The wine I’d consumed wasn’t nearly as intoxicating as him. There was no comparison.
“Ummmm.”
The quivering of my frame was a result of my pending explosion. I continued grinding my body into his but with more pressure and more intensity as he moved on to the left breast. My head fell backward, harmony riding me harder than I was riding Makai.
His teeth’s attempt to penetrate my skin caused a surging, pleasurable pain that was quickly pacified with his tongue. The two fought for residency along my neckline and collarbones as I chased the mountain’s peaks that Makai was lifting me to.
“Oh, God,” I whimpered as the first wave clashed against my lower half.
“That’s it, Mommas,” Makai encouraged. “That’s it.”
“Ohhhhhhh, God.”
A second wave forced me to close my eyes and brace for what lay ahead.
The walls of my vagina released a thick, creaminess that seeped into the seat of my panties. The muscles of my vagina began contracting, desperate for the semen of the man in my presence. It was a natural response in a woman’s sexual gratification process, but somehow, it felt as if the tightening of my muscles was an act created specifically for Makai.
“Ahhhhhh. Ahh. Ma—kaiiii.”
I slammed my chest against his, burying my face in the crook of his neck. Labored breathing and stiffened limbs left me paralyzed as the tingling of my lady parts intensified.
“Let that shit go, Mommas.”
His voice was groggy, deep, and full of desire. The hunger lay in the undertones. The thirst was within his range. He craved me. He craved us. He craved our unison.
He…
“Makaiiiii—”
My panties were torn and pushed to the side. Restricted access agitated him.
“Shut up, Glacier,” he commanded, eyes glued to my bald center as he repositioned me. “I need you to sit on this dick, Mommas. Your shit leaking.”
The raspiness gripped me by the heart, tugging it out of my chest and handing it to Makai on a silver platter. He buried my breast in his mouth, again, lowering my body until I felt the tip of his rigidness approach my snugness. Slowly, I buried his bone inside of me, whimpering as I adjusted to his girth.
With both stilled. At once, everything in my world made perfect sense. Makai made perfect sense. My attraction and attachment to him made sense. Our introduction made sense. Our timing made sense. We made sense.
Feeling whole and complete, I recognized the missing piece to my puzzle upon its entry. It solidified so much for me, leaving hardly anything up for question. Leaving hardly anything up for assumption.
Our lips joined as our bodies began to move in sync. Naturally. Perfectly. In sync. And for the first time, I felt as if I was truly making love.
Taking his precious time, Makai never missed a stroke of his tongue or a stroke of his tool. Together, they satisfied me in ways that I had never thought possible. They healed parts of me that I couldn’t heal alone. They awakened parts of me that had been suppressed or deadened for far too long. They resurrected my heart, stitching it each time he tapped against my cervix door.
This…
This was the definition of making love. This was the definition of taking one’s time. This was the definition of romance. This was the definition of falling— hard .
“Makai…” I whispered in his mouth.
“Shhhh.” He silenced me. “Just listen to us. Just feel us. Just stay here with me, in this moment. No words.”
Obliging, I refrained from speaking again. To make sure that I remained in the moment, void of words, Makai took my tongue into his mouth again.
I opened my ears. I opened my heart. I opened my walls. I opened my world. I opened for him.
Tears stained my cheeks, kissing the air and reminding me that this wasn’t a dream. I was at the water’s edge, in the middle of the night, filled to capacity, feeling everything and nothing at once. I had every reason, every right, to cry. And so I did. Soundlessly, allowing my feelings to flow freely from my eyes without shame or reservation.
He felt that good. We felt that good. It all felt so good.
Makai leaned over until my body met the mattress. Positions altered, leaving me beneath him. My dress pooled around my stomach, leaving the rest of me exposed. Makai fisted my breast, still stroking me gently and with precision.
Subtle moans escaped me. The sound of my well releasing constant lubrication blended seamlessly with the sounds of the ocean. Together, they made the most beautiful instrumentals.
Makai’s hands moved down my frame, both collecting my fingers along the way. Palm to palm, he lifted them over my head as he stared through the darkness. I could feel his gaze, carving holes in my chest to steal a heart that would be his, anyhow, when it was all said and done. As we held hands, he dug into me with slightly more speed.
“Shit,” he grunted. “Fuck.”
Makai’s peaking was as beautiful as his dark eyes and flawless skin. He removed himself, creating a mess of my dress. His semen’s warmth barely grazed the skin of my stomach, but I felt every droplet that had managed to escape the rest.
“Fuck!”
Closing my eyes, I etched his vocals in my head. I never wanted to be without them. Soulful. Calming. Captivating . It was a chosen drug. Though new, I was fully invested in it already.
I lifted my butt and allowed Makai to pull my dress from my body. He cleaned my stomach with the driest parts before tossing it off to the side.
“I don’t know if I made it out in time, Kiwi,” he whispered, kissing my lips. I could hear the worry in his tone.
“It’s okay,” I assured him. “Let’s think about it tomorrow.”
Tonight, there was no use. I didn’t want to worry about anything. I wanted to saunter in ecstasy, silence luring us both into a peaceful slumber.
“Tomorrow.” He yawned.
His body flattened next to me. As soon as his head hit the pillow, he pulled me into his arms. My lids sealed, again, welcoming the most peaceful slumber I’d experienced since the night before my parent’s fatal car crash.