Chapter 7
SEVEN
“Hey, Makai. It’s me… Glacier. At your earliest convenience, please give me a call or text at the very least. I miss you immensely.”
Her message was looped like a soundtrack in the department stores. Since I’d heard it, I hadn’t stopped playing it. That was well over twenty-four hours ago. I pulled from the blunt in my hand, pressing replay one more time.
“Hey, Makai. It’s me… Glacier. At your earliest convenience, please give me a call or text at the very least. I miss you immensely.”
She’d surprised me a bit, going out of her way to reach out to me. That shit made me feel good, really good. Everything about Mommas made a nigga feel good, honestly. Everything except that bullshit in her bathroom.
“Fuck is you over there smiling about?” Trent scoffed.
“Shit. I’m ’bout to get on up out of here. My bed is calling my name,” I announced, stretching my limbs as I stood.
“The bed or some pussy? You cutting out mighty early and the only thing make a nigga do that is some?—”
“You all down my pants, nigga.”
“I’m just saying… You went on a fucking couple’s vacation and shit with no fucking girlfriend and now you ready to turn in early. I’m missing something here. You the nigga that doesn’t sleep.”
“And that’s the problem. I’m tired than a bitch right now. I’m trying to lay it down.”
“Hmph. And what else? Spill that shit.”
“And I’m trying to lay up in some shit. Not no bust down, though. Something exclusively mine.”
“Has hell frozen?”
“Nah, nigga. Just trying something new and seeing where it leads.”
“She must be a hell of a woman to get you to sit your ass down.”
“She is.”
“Just as crazy as you, too, I bet.”
“Weird as this shit sounds, she ain’t. She’s like a fucking lava lamp or some shit. A nigga look at her pretty ass and all the stress, frustration, whatever… it all disappears. It’s been a hell of a week for me. I need her to tame the storm brewing inside me. Real shit, she ain’t even got to use that thunder between her thighs to do it. I just need her around right now.”
“Not this motherfucker growing mushy on me. I never thought I’d see the fucking day.”
Trent was no stranger. He’d been my partner since we were kids. That same pain I felt all those years ago, he did too. He walked in to find his entire family slumped. They died of carbon monoxide poisoning. None of them even saw it coming. Hadn’t he been at a friend’s house, he would’ve been a casualty, too.
“Well, you seeing that bitch today. Don’t act like you ain’t a simp when it comes to Ava, nigga.”
“I’m whatever I need to be to keep her happy. That’s my whole chest right there. Fuck a heart.”
“See, I never aspired to be like you niggas, all in love and shit. Mommas got me thinking differently, though. Why the fuck I be up, late night, playing different scenarios in my head and shit, all involving her healthy relationship, no profanity using, sleepy, clingy, addictive ass? Like I’m a fucking mental patient or something.” I chuckled, not believing who I was becoming.
“Because you are a mental patient.”
“Fuck you, dog. Real shit.”
“Nah. I’m happy for you, bro. And she’s a good girl? Them my favorite kind. They take their asses to work and come straight to the house. They might watch a few shows, read hella books, and sleep as often as they can.”
“Always tired as fuck.”
“Exactly. I love a sleepyhead.”
“She be knocked the fuck out. I just be up, bored as fuck, waiting on her to open her eyes.”
“Making unnecessary noise and shit, hoping it wakes her ass up!” Trent cackled.
I slapped the hand he held in the air. “Exactly, nigga. Like, wake yo’ ass up, girl. I’m losing my shit, sitting here, waiting.”
“Yeah, man, them the ones. I hate to say it but prepare to be bat shit about her. They’re worth it.”
“Already, Trent. Already. A week with her felt like a year. I’ve been having withdrawals all week. Keeping her ass in the doghouse been hitting me hard as hell.”
“Doghouse? For what?”
“She broke up with some nigga a few months ago, when I bumped into her. I gave her three months to get that nigga out of her system. When I pulled up on her, I asked her if she was done crying over the nigga. She told me she was. We spend damn near a week in paradise, and as soon as we get back, I take a piss in her bathroom and the nigga shit still laying around.”
“You think she dipping back?”
“Nah. I don’t. I know she ain’t. But it’s the principle. Imagine me inviting her to my crib and my ex shit just laying around casually.”
“She gon’ trip.”
“Exactly and she ain’t even the type to trip. But that shit would make her trip with a nigga.”
“Block you on everything for a week or two.”
“I’m already knowing how it goes. Wouldn’t answer calls or open the door. The difference is, I’m knocking that bitch down. I’m not knocking on it, giving her a chance to not answer for me.”
“So, you sliding through, although she’s in trouble right now.”
“Yeah. Fuck it. I can’t take that shit no more. I’m going to get her and bring her ass with me. I need some sleep.”
“Say less. Go handle your business. You got me ready to cut out, too.”
His shop was across the street from mine. Because mine was nothing more than a front and a place to wash some of the money that touched my hands, I found myself across the street more often than not. I couldn’t remember the last time I’d sold a tire, but according to my records, I sold a few sets of rims daily.
“Sounds like the plan to me.”
We slapped hands, snapping as we extended our pointer fingers.
“One.”
“One.”
I tossed the blunt on the ground when I stepped outside. The crisp air was evidence that fall in Berkeley was on the horizon. There were no places I’d rather be than at the docks to collect my goods or laid up next to Glacier on the nights she wasn’t on the clock.
With any luck, I’d convince her to switch shifts by the time fall started so that our nights were spent together. Because I worked through the day, too, that shift was ideal in my eyes. I made a mental note to mention it in the near future. We had nearly a month before the season began. There was still time.
I wasted no time applying pressure to the gas pedal as I started down Canton. Her crib was a straight shot from the shop. One turn and I was pulling into the lot of her apartments. I hopped out as quickly as I’d pulled up.
“Ayo, G!” I yelled out, knocking on the door simultaneously. “Open the door, Mommas.”
Because I hadn’t warned her of my visit, I wanted to assure her that it was me banging. I stepped back after a few knocks that rattled the door and prepared for her to open. It wasn’t long before the locks began to turn.
Anxiously, I waited to see her face. I could already feel her body inside my arms, pressed against mine. It was maddening, the way she had me seeing shit, hearing shit, and feeling shit that hadn’t even happened but was strongly desired. Glacier was forcing me to discover parts of me that I never knew existed.
Though I should’ve been running for the hills, I was running toward her. I wanted to clash and burn if that’s what falling deeper for her would result in. At this point, I didn’t give a fuck because it would be worth it in the very end.
The door opened slightly before closing, immediately. I didn’t miss the frustration written on my baby’s face before she slammed it in my face. I found myself chuckling, though there wasn’t shit funny. Instead of knocking again, I sent a warning before destruction.
“G, I’ll knock this bitch off the hinges, Mommas. If you don’t want the neighbors to ransack your shit while you’re gone tonight, then open the door.”
She snatched it open in an instant, stepping aside for me to enter.
“I’m not coming in that fucking house, Glacier.”
“Then why are you here?”
“To tell you to pack a bag. I’m ready to lay down. I’m sleepy. I’ll be waiting in the tru?—”
“Makai, it’s not that simple,” she protested.
“It is tonight. You can yell at me tomorrow. Tonight, though, I’m ready for bed and I won’t be able to rest if you’re not in that motherfucker with me. Mad and all.”
“I’m not mad.”
“Then, whatever you are, Kiwi.”
“I don’t like how dismissive you’re being right now.”
“Baby, damn, I’m not being dismissive. I’m just asking you to put off whatever you on until tomorrow. I haven’t had more than three hours of sleep all week. I ain’t gon’ get none until I begin making things right with you. This is only a gesture. It’s not me saying fuck you or your feelings. I’m saying fuck that shit tonight. So, you coming or what?”
She stood with her arms folded at her chest. Her lips protruded. Her nostrils flared. Her eyes glossed. She was deep in them fucking feelings of hers.
“I’m missing you,” I admitted.
She dropped her hands at her side as she lowered her head and shook it from one side to the other.
“Come home with me.”
“You’re not being fair.”
“Life ain’t fair, Mommas.”
“I don’t feel like packing anything,” she confessed.
“Then, don’t. You ain’t got to bring shit but your body. You don’t need a fucking thing when you’re with me, Glacier. Just lock up and come ’er.”
“One second.”
I watched her disappear inside her spot and then reappear seconds later with keys in one hand and the bag I sent her in another. After locking up, she turned to face me. I reached out, wrapping my fingers around her neck and bringing her closer. I tried my hardest to shove my tongue down her throat. I missed her so fucking much.
Voicing it was hardly enough. I needed to show her. She had to have gotten the point by the time I released her. Simultaneously, we released stifled breaths, wiping our mouths with smiles on our faces.
“I like that bag in ya hand.”
“My man bought it for me.” She giggled. “Isn’t she pretty?”
“Yeah, Kiwi. She pretty.”
She looped her arm through mine and we both made our way to the truck.
Pulling up to my crib with Glacier clinging to me from the passenger seat was one of those scenarios that kept replaying in my head. As we waited for the gate to part and grant us access, I took the time to address the fact that it was no longer a scenario in my head. It was happening and it felt even been in fruition.
“Thi-this is beautiful, Makai.”
I glanced in her direction to find her eyes bright and her chin high as she whipped her head in every direction to get a full view of the property. The night experience and day experience were two completely different things.
At night, yard lights made it glow slightly, assisting her vision. In the day, when the sun was up, you could see every detail, from the pond out back that Pops loved to fish in to the pool that the deck encased.
“Appreciate it, Mommas.”
“And you live here all alone?”
“Shit, not for long, hopefully. Within the next year, I’m trying to have a permanent guest.”
Her smile reached her glistening eyes.
“Then you wouldn’t be able to sneak off for a week at a time. You sure that’s what you want?”
“I’m not sneaking off no more. That shit ’bout killed me.”
She remained silent, the sound of dogs startling her. Her neck twisted in my direction. Frantically, she waited for an explanation or instructions, at the very least. I parked the whip and matched her gaze.
“You’re afraid of dogs, huh?”
“I don’t know. I’ve never been in close proximity with one.”
“Never.”
“Never.”
“Not even in passing on the sidewalk?”
“I can’t remember the last time I walked anywhere to do anything, honestly. And the small time I do spend from my car to wherever I’m headed, no. I’ve never encountered a dog of any kind.”
“Not even as a kid?”
“My neighbors had dogs. Several of them did, but they were always inside or in the backyard.”
“I have two dogs, Glacier, and they aren’t the cute little shits you see in the windows of cars you ride past. They’re large and they don’t trust easily. They roam the house freely, ready to serve and protect me. It’s what they’re trained to do.”
“Makai, my God. They don’t know me. They’ll have me for dinner.”
“That’s not entirely true,” I informed her. “I’ve been introducing them to your scent for the last week.”
“I don’t understand.”
I hoped what I was about to share with her would ease the worry on her face. She was visibly shaken and we hadn’t gotten out of the truck yet.
“The shirts and shit of mine you wore on vacation, I didn’t wash. I used it to introduce my boys to you. Though they haven’t formally met you, you’re no stranger. They’re very smart boys and great listeners. They’ll behave themselves. If it makes you more comfortable, after I’ve let them meet you, I can lock their door so they aren’t able to come inside until you leave or are more comfortable.”
“No. No. I don’t want their routines altered on my account. If you say they’re going to behave, then I can get over myself.”
“Bet. You ready?”
“No, Makai,” she stated honestly. “But this is as ready as I’ll be, so yes.”
“It’s all good, Kiwi. Come on.”
Their barks rang out into the night air. Glacier’s grip on my hand was tighter than it had ever been. When we entered the house and the barking halted, suddenly, she grew worried.
“What happened? Where are they?”
“On their way inside. They’ve recognized it’s me and have quieted themselves before entering.”
The tension in her body was written all over her beautiful face.
“Relax. Everything will be fine. You’ll know off top if they’re fucking with you or not. They will inspect. Just don’t pani?—”
“Oh my God. They’re here!” she shrieked. “What do I do?”
“Nothing. You do nothing, Mommas.”
Midnight and Ghost entered the foyer where we stood, hovering as they did whenever they were suspicious. Ghost led the duo, circling Glacier and me, using his nose to familiarize himself with the new visitor. Midnight was right behind him, conducting his own inspection. Once they’d circled us a few times, Glacier began to relax.
Ghost posted up a few feet away, confirming he’d completed his thorough analysis or whatever the fuck dogs referred to as an investigation. Midnight was the last one to rest on his ass. Both of them stared back at Glacier, who hadn’t taken her eyes off them, afraid of what she thought they might do. Truth was, my boys weren’t going to harm her. I knew that. Deep down, I knew she did as well.
“Can I pet them?”
“They ain’t with all that shit, but you can try. They’ll just walk off if they’re not interested.”
“And they won’t try to bite me?”
“If they wanted to bite you, baby, you’d be bitten by now. Unrecognizable. On the way to the morgue, not the hospital. You good. They fucking with you. You can chill now.”
I left the trio alone and headed for the kitchen. The shrimp noodles in my cabinet had been calling my name since I hit the first of four blunts Trent and I had faced together.
“Behave,” I warned Ghost and Midnight.
Instead of following me to the threshold of the kitchen, because they weren’t allowed inside, they remained fixated on Glacier. That was confirmation they were expecting her undivided attention. She was afraid of them seconds ago.
Now that they were genuinely curious about her, she’d be fighting to get them to leave her ass alone. They’d follow her around like hawks, ready for demands and ready to kill anything that threatened her well-being.
I broke the pack of noodles twice and placed them in a bowl of warm water, careful not to touch them. I popped it into the microwave and set the timer. As the bowl began to spin, I washed my hands and began preparing the things I’d need to enhance the hood classic. Butter, pepper, all-purpose seasoning, and hot sauce.
By the time the microwave beeped, Glacier was still nowhere in sight. I hooked my noodles up, waiting for her to peep her head around the corner. When she didn’t, I went in search of her, not finding her ass until I was on the last forkful of noodles.
She was upstairs, in the room furthest from the rest of them. It was the smallest and one that I didn’t frequent. There was too much pain within its walls. It held my first heartbreak.
“She was beautiful.”
“And the smartest woman one would ever meet. Deemed a genius, but I’m still trying to figure out how the one thing that was most brilliant about her was the same fucking thing that betrayed her. Brought her to the edge, ultimately suggesting that the world was a better place without her. As deep as her love for my father ran, she couldn’t fathom going out alone. He had to join her. She made sure that he would.”
She placed the picture of my mother back on the shelf where she’d got it. When she began to drift in my direction, Midnight and Ghost were at her side. Just like me, my boys had fallen and it didn’t take long at all.
“I’m so sorry.”
“Same, Mommas. Living in a cold ass world without the two people you need most is wicked. I keep wanting this shit to be a nightmare that I can wake up from. But I’ve been awake a long fucking time, long enough to know this is real. This is reality.”
“As much as it sucks, it is. It’s reality. I miss my mom and dad every single day. Now more than ever because I need them to see that I’ve become exactly who I promised them I would.”
“They see you, Mommas. I know they do.”
She wrapped her arms around me, resting her head against my chest.
“I’m tired. I want to go to bed.”
“Me, too.”
Unable to resist temptation, I slapped her cheek, cupping her ass in my palm and making that motherfucker jiggle. The low growls of Midnight and Ghost were alarming and comical at once. I halted to address their foolishness. Both of them niggas had crossed the fucking line.
“Thing one and two, take y’all ass downstairs somewhere. This mine. I don’t know what y’all motherfuckers thought it was. Better chill the fuck out and watch who you growling at.”
“Baby.” Glacier chuckled. “Seriously? They’re just dogs.”
“I told you. My limit is hell. Motherfuckers go low and I go the lowest. Did you hear them niggas trying to growl at me all low and shit?”
With a shake of the head, she led me out of the room.
“I’m not sure where I’m going, but please lead the way. I am in dire need of sleep.”
“Me, too. I need to take this bowl to the kitchen first.”
“Show me where the bedroom is and you can go downstairs after.”
“There’s a kitchen up here before we get to the bedroom.”
“Hmmm. Fancy.”
“Nah. Necessary when them late-night munchies kick in on my ass.”
I dropped the bowl off and directed Glacier toward the bedroom where she wasted little time climbing in. As much as I wanted to join her, I had to wash away the day before I touched my sheets.
I wandered toward the shower, determined to make it a quick one so I could make it back to her sooner rather than later. My cravings for skin-to-skin contact and a good night’s rest pumped me with urgency. The excitement to climb my ass in bed beside Glacier was possibly immature, but that shit felt too good to consider it anything but authentic.
Ten minutes elapsed before I was back in the bedroom, briefs covering my ass and a towel dangling from my neck. I dried parts of me that were still slightly damp. The cold air made them more apparent as I crossed the threshold of the bedroom.
“Glacier, tomorrow, we?—”
Upon realizing she was sound asleep, I let the rest of my statement fall by the wayside. When completely dry, I pulled back the covers on the side she’d left empty. It wasn’t mine, but I didn’t give a fuck tonight. I’d take whatever as long as she was beside me. I gripped her waist and brought her as close to me as possible.
Once I buried my face in her neck, it was lights out for me. I’d never known peace until Glacier. Now that I’d discovered it, I never wanted to live without it.