Chapter 17
SEVENTEEN
As I turned the corner, entering the cabin of the private aircraft, I was greeted by both Malachi and Mercer. Graciously, Mercer exchanged his seat for a different one so I could have the most comfortable one on the plane with room for my things and a place to rest my legs.
“Good morning, Glacier,” he cleared his throat.
“Good morning, Mercer.”
“Glacier.” Malachi nodded.
“Good morning.”
Simultaneously, everyone took their seats. It had always amused me how lengthy the entire family of men where. It made small spaces feel even smaller and ceilings appear even shorter than they were. However, today, I didn’t find much humor in anything. My head was pounding and my stomach was in knots.
As I settled in for the thirty-minute flight, the door of the aircraft was sealed and the staff aboard began preparing for takeoff. My fingers and legs trembled as I pulled the blanket from my bag. It glided over my body and brought me comfort almost immediately. The feeling was foreign now. I hadn’t been comforted by anything since Makai’s absence.
“The women are waiting for you to land. They’re headed to breakfast and are expecting you to join them,” Malachi informed me.
I turned to find him peering out of the window. There was something so inviting yet so damning about Malachi. There was a lingering darkness that couldn’t be explained. And, anguish that couldn’t be ignored. It was in his posture. His words. His movements. His voice.
“I’m aware,” I responded as his eyes met mine, “Aeir has tasked you with bringing me.”
But at the sound of her name, he lit like a Christmas tree. His face tightened though the smile never registered. His eyebrows lifted slightly. And, his aggrieved eyes showed signs of life. Or happiness. Of contentment. Of elation. Of gratitude. Of love. Or adoration.
“I’m aware,” he sniggered with a shake of his head.
Without question, I knew what was rolling through his head. He’d do anything for that woman. There wasn’t a doubt in my mind that he wouldn’t. Aeir was his lungs. His life. His love. His rhythm. His reason.
I angled my body in the opposite direction, leaning into the presence of the man who’d complicated my life over the last month. When around his family, I could feel him all over. But, as rewarding as it was, it didn’t change the fact he wasn’t here. My heart was still aching. And, my life was in shambles.
The window chill caressed my forehead as I closed my eyes. Life as I’d known it since Makai had entered my world was life no more. Each day, I mourned it’s death, but today felt a little heavier and a little harder.
Damn you, Makai .
My love for him was unwavering. His absence had only deepened it. I could feel it in my bones. In my blood. In my fingers. And, in my toes. His love was all over me where it would remain when he returned.
Because, it didn’t matter what he’d said or the messages he’d sent. I had faith in Makai’s return. Life without him was too much of a burden to bear. And life without me was impossible for him.
I shoved my thoughts into the back of my head as the wheels lifted and our flight officially began. I’d dwelled week after week. I needed a mental break. Even if it was only thirty minutes, Makai’s presence would provide it.
I snuggled against the window. It continued to lower my body’s temperature. For the first time in a month, exhaustion lulled me to sleep without trouble.
“Glacier.”
Mercer nudged me awake.
“Hmm? Hm?”
The trail of saliva that ran down my arm made my limbs stiffen. I had yet to open my eyes and see it, but the feeling of the sliminess against my face was enough to redden my cheeks and shatter my nerves.
“It’s time to go.”
I opened my eyes to find the entire crew was outside entertaining each other as Malachi stalked the aisle on a call.
“How– how long have I been asleep?”
“Three hours,” he revealed while handing me a wet cloth.
Springing up, I cleaned my mouth and hand. Panic drew me to my feet. I quickly began folding the blanket that had kept me warm but it was snatched from me almost instantly.
“Calm down, Glacier,” Malachi advised, never missing in stride as his call continued.
“I’ve missed breakfast. I promised the ladies I wo–”
“They busied themselves in the shops. Brunch. At noon.”
He was unbothered. He was unfazed. He had everything under control.
Always .
“Why’d you all let me sleep so long?” I yawned, feeling guilty for keeping them as long as I had. The neatly folded blanket was now pushed through the straps of my overnight bag. They were both in Mercer’s hands.
“Your health is far more important to us. You needed the rest,” he explained, “Malachi will take you. I have a meeting to attend.”
Just as he turned to walk away, I grabbed his arm. Quietly, he waited for me to say something.
“Did I make you late?”
Without a response, Mercer took off down the aisle, headed for the exit.
I did .
Guilt consumed me. But, before I could step off the plane carrying the weight of my restlessness, Malachi stopped me.
“Fix your face, Glacier.”
“Three hours?”
“If we thought you needed ten, we would’ve given it to you.”
He tilted his head toward the door, silently instructing me to continue. I tucked away the transgressions pertaining to the delay of everyone for a three-hour snooze and descended the stairs. There was no use in sulking. And, neither of the guys would allow it.
The door of Malachi’s car was wide open. I slid in and found my bag waiting. Because I’d left so much at the condo, not much was needed on the trip to Berkeley.
When the peppery notes grazed the hairs of my nose, my eyes landed on Malachi. Dressed in a black suit, he settled beside me. The phone was no longer pressed against his ear and the alluring, mysteriousness of him had returned. More often than not, in his presence, I wondered what was going through that head of his.
“Whatever your results are today, please understand we have you covered. You won’t have to worry about a thing, Glacier. My brothers and our companions will see to it that you’re taken care of. You’re one of us. You’re an extension of someone who means the world to us. So, naturally, you mean the same.”
I disengaged the tears threatening to fall as I lowered my head. Not in shame, but simply because my emotions were far too big, too damning to process at the moment.
“Chin up,” he demanded.
I shook my head from one side to the other, unable to lift my spirits or my cranium.
“Not this time, Malachi.”
“Every time.”
His finger rested just beneath my chin. He lifted my head before unlocking his cell to respond to the text he’d just received.
“Every fucking time.”
“Aeir,” I sighed, “She told you.”
“There isn’t much she doesn’t tell me. I’m her person.”
“ And, she’s yours ,” I whispered with a nod. As my head fell, I recalled his words and lifted it before he noticed.
“She is. She is .”
The last two words, which were repeated, trailed off as he looked out of the window.
“Makai–” I paused, wondering if it was pointless to continue.
“Processes things differently. He’s every bit of us, yet nothing like us at once. He’s something different. His cold and warmth simultaneously. He’s beastly and reserved at once. He’s fire and water. He’s stubborn but selfless.
“He’s cold-hearted and good-hearted. Most of all, he’s persistent. He’s a predator who only makes prey of those who deserve the karma he was birthed to be. He’s hunting, Glacier. Let him.”
Malachi cleared his throat before continuing, “He knows nothing else.”
“He knows me.”
“And, he knows me, Glacier. He knows the pain of losing the woman you love with your whole chest. Your whole heart. Your whole life. Your whole existence. He knows how debilitating that feeling is. How it sucks you up and never spits you out.
“How you literally have to climb your way out yourself. Or, someone just as great– Just as beautiful. Just as consuming decides to climb in the belly of that beast with you until you’re ready to climb out. And, when you are, they take you by the hand and lead the way. He knows, Glacier.
“And, his knowledge is far more important than your feelings right now. Far more important than your tears. Your pain. You have your life and he’s going to make sure you keep it. We’re not going through that again. Not over my dead body or his. So, let him hunt, Glacier.
“I fully support his mission. If you have it in you, which I wholeheartedly believe you do, then wait for him. And, love him in spite of the resentment you might feel. He hasn’t left you. He’s preparing a world for you. A better one. The only way to do that is to eliminate the threat imposing on the one you’ve known.”
I choked on nothingness as tears cascade down my face. My heart was in shambles. There was nothing, no one I wanted more than I wanted Makai. Right here. Right now .
“I jus– I love him so much it scares me. And, so does the thought of not having him near. I just keep thinki– thinking of all the things that could go terribly wrong. He’s inside with animals.”
“He’s no bunny, Glacier. He’s a monster.”
“Malac–”
“King of he jungle. Be scared for anyone who crosses his path. Not for my brother.”
“But–”
“He’ll make it back to you.”
I nodded, satisfied with his declaration. In the short time I’d known Malachi, his words were few. He’d said more today than I’d ever heard him say.
Sometimes, I imagined words weren’t on his list of things to give. Nevertheless, I never considered him a liar. None of them. I doubted he’d became one today.
A napkin was shoved in my direction. I accepted it and cleaned myself up for the second time in a matter of minutes. Though slightly embarrassed, I was comforted by Malachi’s words and the presence of Makai’s family in my time of need.
Not even the walk out of the stadium’s parking lot on the day of my graduation after being betrayed by my boyfriend and bestfriend was this unearthing. Makai’s absence had catapulted me into foreign territory, leaving me with a void that only he could fill. Until he did, I wouldn’t be whole.
I rested my head on the window, peering out into the gloominess. Rain had come and gone, but left traces of it’s visitation. Clouds were still low and the sun had yet to make an appearance.
The analogy of my world was staring back at me. Makai had come and he’d gone, leaving traces of him in every aspect of my day. My head hung and my spirit had yet to lift.
There was so much gloom, apprehension, and devastation. He was my sun. his appearance was detrimental to my mental and emotional well-being.
The tires came to a halt many minutes after they’d began rolling. I pulled away from the door just as it opened. When I stepped out, I was immediately confronted with Berkeley’s beauty. It had only been a month since I’d left the city but I missed it dearly. Even under the gray skies, it’s distinct, breathtaking nature couldn’t be denied.
Beside the car that I rouunded stood Malachi with his hands folded in front of him. His sight had been set and his attention was undivided. I followed his gaze, landing on a flawless Aeir, descending the steps in front of the restaurant she’d emerged from. My heart swelled, witnessing the outpouring of his emotions without a single word being spoken.
The adoration in his eyes.
The love that radiated from his body.
The suppressed anticipation of his limbs.
The upward curve of his lips and the corners of his eyes.
It was as beautiful as the woman he was waiting patiently for.
So calm. So collected. So comfortable.
It made me wonder how my next encounter with Makai would play out. There were so many ifs running through my head at once.
If I’d be able to contain myself. If I’d remain poised. If I’d be boiling with anger. If the resentment would muddle the moment. If my heart would rejoice. If my tears would fall. If he’d miss me as much as I’d missed him.
To give them the time their love required, I stepped onto the curb in pursuit of the doors Aeir had come from.
“Glacier,” Malachi’s voice rang out.
Stopping, I twirled on the tips of my toes. He stood in the same place, eyes never leaving the woman he’d chosen to do the rest of his life with.
“Malachi.”
I nodded before proceeding. My attempt to slide by Aeir failed miserably. She dipped through the small circle of friends headed inside to acknowledge my presence.
Not a single word was recited as our shoulders collided. She pulled me into her arms as if I was a child she’d birthed from her womb. Her motherly instincts soothed the aches and filled the gaps my own mother had left in her absence.
A nurturer.
Aeir was timeless. She was peace. And, freedom. And gentleness. And care. And calm. And hope. And love. And light. And… air .
“You’re okay. Everything is okay.”
My head rose and fell as she rubbed her long, slim fingers up and down my back.
“The girls are inside waiting in the private dinning suite. I’ll be right in.”
“Should I wait?” I asked, hardly wanting to break free of her embrace.
She was almost too inviting. Too angelic. Naturally, I wanted to be connected to her at some capacity, always. She was magnetic.
“Go ahead. I’m not sure how long I’ll be. I miss that man out there,” she admitted with a smile and scrunched brows.
A hand rested against her chest. I was almost certain she was trying to keep her heart from leaping out or caressing the pain being away from Malachi caused.
“I understand.”
“Thank you.”
She patted my shoulder and then placed her palm against my cheek. Her penetrating gaze kept my feet rooted. I was unmoving.
“What is it?”
“Yes.”
“Yes?”
“The answer is yes, Glacier. I don’t need a test to confirm. The answer is yes.”
I sighed, nearly choking off my own tears. Before one could fall, I swiped my face. This wasn’t the time.
“I know,” I confessed, unable to come to terms with the situation I was in or how drastically my life was about to change without Makai beside me.
“Go ahead. I’ll be in.”
“Okay.”
I entered the establishment and was greeted by one of the two hosts. Dressed in a powder pink gown that made me wonder about its origins, the transitioning being before me waved me toward the secluded section of the restaurant.
“This way, love,” the high-pitched baritone instructed. “They’re waiting.”
“Have they been waiting a while?” I asked them, hoping they’d respond with something I wanted to hear.
“Thirty minutes or so. The drinks have kept them chatty and happy. Don’t worry.”
“Thank you.”
“No problem.”
The door that they held open led me to the women who’d been keeping my head above water over the last five weeks. I made my way around the table, desperate to feel each of them in my hands.
“You looking like money, baby,” Kleu complimented me as I wrapped my arms around her.
“I don’t feel like it,” I chuckled, sarcastically.
“And, that’s okay. When you’re ready, you will. Just give yourself time.”
“Thank you.”
“Of course.”
I moved along, tossing my arms around Nature.
“Hey. How are you feeling?”
“Lost,” I admitted, “And, like I need some of his reassurance.”
“I understand.”
“Or, just him . At any capacity.”
“It won’t be long, Glacier. He’ll be back.”
That’s what everyone kept repeating but something in my gut told me it was the furthest from the truth. The fact that Aeir had never uttered those words were also revealing.
She always knew. Whatever gift she’d been given was sometimes a curse. Seeing her shoulders round and her facial movement stall when those words were spoken left me defeated every time.
“Jae,” I greeted Aeir’s friend with a nod.
“No ma’am. Hug me just like you hugged them or else I’m going to be offended. By default, I’m in this with you, too. You guys might as well go ahead and add me to the group text and the group calls.”
Her spirits were always high. She was the perfect match for Aeir. though delicate, she was a beaming ray of sunshine. Together, they could make anyone’s day.
She wrapped her arms around me before tiptoeing backward.
“Head up, girl. I’d offer you a drink to help you feel better but–”
“Let’s be on the safe side,” Nature added.
“That part,” Kleu agreed, “Can’t have the possible baby coming out slurring and shit. We need them to have all their brain cells and some good sense. Their family is fucked up enough.”
“Who?” Nature laughed, “Milo is fine.”
“He’s as bad as the rest of them. He’s just able to mask it better due to his occupation. But, you’d better believe that man of yours is a nut case just like the men he’s surrounded by.”
With a roll of the eyes, Nature responded, “Hmph.”
I took the empty seat next to Nature as the waitress appeared.
“Can I get you anything to drink?” She stood over me with the pen to pad, ready to jot down my order.
“No. I’ll have a glass of the water on the table.”
“Okay. An appetizer?”
I took a look around the table. There was already a few.
“No. Have you taken their orders yet?”
“I haven’t. You were the final piece to the puzzle,” she explained, showing her beautiful smile.
“Now, we’ve loss one. She’ll be back momentarily.”
Just as the words slipped from Nature’s mouth, Aeir came strolling in. the ivory gown she wore swayed with each step she took. Her lengthy legs exaggerated her movements or maybe she was as dreamy as she seemed.
“Well, I imagine we’re ready, now.”
“Okay. I’ll start at the end of the table and work my way around. Is that alright?”
“Yes. That gives me time to view the menu,” I told her, pressing the digital screen in front of me where the menu was displayed.
Chills ran up my spine one after the other. Fine, painful bumps raised my skin. I took a look at my phone for the twentieth time. Only five minutes had passed since Nature had left the room with my urine in-hand.
Brunch with the women I’d found family amongst had been the perfect distraction but once the table was cleared and I was in Nature’s passenger seat on the way to her office, reality stabbed me in the chest, again. If the results of the test confirmed my suspicions, nothing would be the same anymore.
There was a soft knocked at the door before it was pushed open. Nature appeared behind it. Her eyes were bright and her smile was alarming.
“Well,” she sighed. “You’re definitely pregnant, Glacier.”
My heart dropped, landing on the floor, just beside the bed I was sitting on.
“Positive?”
She nodded. “Yes.”
I gathered pieces of me that had escaped, ready to put myself back together for the little being inside of me. They deserved a much better person than the one I’d allowed my situation to transform me into over the last few weeks. She was unacceptable.
“So, I need you to lay back for me. I’m going to see if we can get a look at the little one and tell you how far along you are. According to your last cycle, it isn’t very far.”
Soundlessly, I laid back on the bed as I’d been instructed. Numbness coated my skin. I felt nothing and everything simultaneously. Nature pushed my shirt up and secured it under the wire of my bra.
Warm gel was squirted onto my stomach as I began to process everything. A swooshing sound followed. Still, I couldn’t quite comprehend what this moment meant for me or my future.
And, what about Makai?
Question after question ran through my head at once. Following the swooshing sound was a very distinct, very swift beat. Immediately, my attention was captured. My wandering eyes landed on the screen across the room.
Hot tears streaked my cheeks as things got clearer. Everything else around me was silenced momentarily. I could hear nothing but the continuous beating of my child’s heart. It was the most precious sound I’d ever known.
My God.
Glorious .
A good look at the screen forced me to angle my head sixty degrees to get a better understanding of what I was seeing on the screen. There were two dark spaces that had tiny dots in them both.
While snapping photos with one hand, Nature was typing with the other. I waited impatiently for her to complete the first set of letters. As she did, my entire body grew warm. It was as if someone had set a match to the room. Fire consumed me.
Baby A.
“Natu– is– am I– Oh– God.”
“Twins, Glacier. You’re having twins.”
Those words embezzled every ounce of oxygen from my lungs. Breathlessly, I tried speaking but it was useless. No words would form and the fire had gotten to big, too fast. I was burning in the pit and unsure if I would be freed.
Blink .
“Glacier!”
Blink .
Cold water sprinkled my face as my lids began to separate.
“Glacier!”
Blink .
My eyes were heavy. My heart was heavier.
Blink .
“Hm?”
Nature’s voice was loud but Milo’s was louder.
“Glacier!” He screamed again.
“Milo? What’s going on?” Groggily, I questioned.
I was discombobulated, unable to determined where I was, what had happened, or how it had happened.
“You scared the shit out of a nigga. That’s what happened. You good?”
“I’m not sure. I– I don’t understand.”
“Here, drink this for hydration. Give yourself a few minutes. You’ll figure it out or we’ll stay here until you do.”
I knew that wasn’t a good idea. He was the chief of the psychiatric department of his hospital. They needed him. Almost always needed him. As a healthcare professional, I didn’t want others to suffer because I couldn’t find my footing. I would– eventually .
“I’ll be fi–fine, Milo.”
“I won’t take your word for it.”
I tried lifting, but was swiftly pinned to the bed.
“Stay put. Sip this.”
Milo placed a straw to my lips. I sipped the bittery sweet liquid, unsure of what it was.
“What is it?”
“Something to help you out for now. Tomorrow, you’re coming to my office and I am going to run an IV to give your body everything it’s craving right now. You’re carrying twins, Glacier. They’ll require much more of you than you understand right now,” he explained. “They’ve already began wrecking havoc on your body, but we’re going to get it in top shape so you can have a safe, healthy pregnancy and even healthier babies. You understand?”
I nodded.
“Good.”
“Twins?” I asked while rubbing out the pain in my chest and staring up at the ceiling.
“Yes.”
“I remember,” sighing, I revealed. “The ultrasound.”
My head was pounding. I lifted a hand to massage my temple as it all came back to me.
“The heartbeat.”
“Heartbeats,” Nature corrected me.
“How far along am I?”
“You’re headed into your seventh week.”
Her calculation sounded accurate. Makai and I had made love a final time before our lives were flipped upside down. He’d made love to me as if the world was ending, which should’ve been the first indication it was. The world as we knew it at least.
“Can– can you take me home?”
“Now?” She wondered aloud.
I nodded because words were beyond me, beyond my capabilities at the moment. I had absolutely nothing to give.
“I can–” Milo started.
“No. I’ll take her. I won’t be long. I can get back in forty-five minutes or less.”
“Are you sure?” His eyes were pinned on Nature, trying his hardest to find an ounce of doubt or apprehension. There was none.
“I’m sure. It will push me behind with patients, slightly, meaning you’ll need to get Mason and Mila.”
“Done,” he assured her. “See you at home, alright?”
“Yes.”
Milo long arm spread across the emptiness between them, ending just before Nature’s neck. Slowly, his fingers wrapped around them and brought her closer to him. His lips rested on hers.
Once.
Twice.
Three times , they deepened the knife in my chest. I had absolutely no idea when Makai’s hands would be on my body. His lips on my skin. His eyes on mine. His long frame in front of me.
“Later,” Nature said as Milo took off.
“Later,” he responded, wiping his lips with a smile. “See you tomorrow, Glacier.”
A tried mustering a smile, a single word, or at least a gesture of the hand. Nothing surfaced.
“You sure you’re okay to stand?”
I nodded. I wasn’t sure where I’d gather the strength, but I would.
“Milo will carry you if necessary.”
He stopped in his tracks, waiting for the opportunity to assist.
I shook my head. “I’m fine.”
“Here, finish this and it will make me feel a little better letting you go,” Milo told me, turning around and heading back toward the bed. He placed the straw at my lips again and didn’t pull it away until my face was contorted and the liquid was gone.
I managed to make my way to Nature’s vehicle without injuring myself or the babies growing in my womb. She respected my request for silence as we took the twenty-minute journey across one side of The Highlands to the other where my condo was located.
“You sure you don’t need any help upstairs?”
“I’m positive. You’ve done more than enough already. Thank you.”
“Well, I plan to send take-out, too, so don’t thank me just yet.”
“You’re a Godsend. I appreciate you. All of you. I really do. I never want any of you to think I’m ungrateful. I just need some time to let this all sink in. It feels like day one all over again.”
I shook my head, refusing to shed any more tears in Nature’s presence.
“We know you, Glacier, and we know your heart. Not for a second will we think that. Your person is miles and miles away, locked down. Your future is uncertain. You just relocated. You just discovered your pregnancy–and with twins nonetheless.
“The man who made this moment possible isn’t here to share it with you. You deserve every bit of grace we have to give and we have every intention of giving it to you. It doesn’t matter how many silent rides we take, just understand I’m riding.
“Milo is riding. Kleu is riding. Lawe is riding. Aeir is riding. Malachi is riding. Mercer is riding. Pops is riding. Ledge is riding. Halo is riding. We’re all here. And, not for a hot second. We’re here forever. In Makai’s absence and his presence.”
“Thank you.”
“Don’t thank me. We love you. It’s our duty. Family is first. Always.”
I nodded, “I love you all as well.”
“Now, go on upstairs and listen for the door. I’m sending something to hold you over until Milo comes for you tomorrow.”
“Okay.”
The front door was opened for me. I walked into the lobby of the space I once shared with the man I love with everything God ever gifted me wishing I could disappear. My head was low. My feet were slow. My spirits were in disarray. My vision was blurred. My tears were preparing for deployment.
“Good evening.”
“Good day, now.”
“Welcome.”
The greetings of the staff that once brought a smile to my face pained me to the core. On the elevator, I rested my head against the glass panel. Seconds later, it stopped and I was stepping out.
My feet had slowed to a creep. Fear gripped me by the neck, prolonging my entrance into the condo. When I finally stepped inside, memories flooded me.
Silence .
It swallowed me whole.
Makai. Come home to me. Make this all better . I’m lost without you .
The sound of my purse crashing to the ground startled me.
“Please, Makai.”
Like a wounded animal, I wept. The foreign pitch was alarming, but so was my lonesomeness. I wasn’t prepared for it. I didn’t want it. I couldn’t accept it. I despised it.
I picked up my feet and placed them one in front of the other. I didn’t stop moving until I was in my bedroom, standing before Makai’s wardrobe. In the fall and winter section, I removed his favorite hoodie. It was black in color and thick enough to put many coats to shame. It accompanied me to the bed where I spread it across the comforter and laid on top of it.
Balled up in the fetal position, I stored his aroma in my mental rolodex. I bunched the arm of the hoodie in my hand and placed it right at my nose. My tears dampened the dark fabric, meshing with his cologne.
Knock.
Knock .
Knuckles against the door rescued me from the sunken place. Hesitantly, I eased from the bed and back onto my feet. I was in no hurry to get to the door, hoping whoever was behind it would leave. Nature had sent food, so I didn’t want to miss the delivery. However, I was in no mood for food. My appetite didn’t exist.
Knock.
Knock.
“Com– Coming,” I sniffled.
There was no use in trying to get myself together. I was falling apart. Even from a mile away, one could see it. Sense it. Hear it. Feel it. I was a ball of disconsolate energy. There was no concealing it.
I peered through the peephole to find a set of familiar eyes. Peace began protesting for my heart, hoping to reclaim it from the wretchedness I was experiencing. Under it’s command, I was full of despair and gloom followed me everywhere I went.
“Aeir,” I choked out as her lips curved upward at the sight of me.
She was even prettier than she was hours ago at brunch. Seemingly happier and determined.
“Hey,” softly, she responded.
Before I could invite her in, she pushed through the door. I turned around and found myself buried in her long limbs. Her arms wrapped around my back. She forced my head onto her chest and began rocking from side to side.
“I don’t have to ask you how you feel to know just how you feel. I just need you to understand I won’t allow you to push me away. You need someone tonight. Though I’m not the person you wished to spend this time with, I’m here and I’m staying.
“I will feed you. I will bathe you. I will clean you. I will wipe your behind if you need me to. I’m here, Glacier. And, I’ll be here until it doesn’t hurt this bad anymore.”
I didn’t fight. I couldn’t fight. I was stripped of my ability to do anything but melt in her arms and release everything in me.