Chapter 13 #2
"Mmm…" He pauses, laughing a little. "Jesus.
Um, I don't think I'm alone, but…I also probably won't get married.
And that won't necessarily be because I don't want to.
But I've got you, right? You're my favorite person in the world, so I hope you don't actually think I'm a mean and terrible brother. That would really hurt my feelings."
"I was just joking," she says. "I wish you'd come home more, though."
"I'll do better," he tells her. "Do you need anything else before I go?"
"Is Saige's dad dead?"
"Um, no. I think he just left."
"Well, where did he go? Did he disappear, too?"
"No, I think she still talks to him. He just lives far away."
"Well, why doesn't my dad want to talk to me?"
Nolan sighs. "I don't know, Avery. But it's his loss."
"Okay…" she says. But then she starts to cry.
"Hey, it's all right…"
I blink back my own tears and tiptoe back to the living room as he comforts her. After wiping my eyes, I grab Arcadia's leash from the counter and take her out in the front yard. It's dark, and I wonder if I should worry, but I don't feel it the way I do on campus—the eyes on me.
When I go back inside, I plug in my phone charger, toss a blanket on the couch, and go to the kitchen for a glass of water.
When I turn around again, Nolan is behind me in the dark space.
"Jesus!" I cover my heart with my hand and set my glass on the counter.
"Still scared of me, huh?"
"No," I tell him. "But you are incredibly stealthy, you know that? You should be a ninja or a spy or something."
I think my snooping made me more flustered than usual. I'm definitely not built for the spy life.
He takes another step toward me and smiles. "I'll try to be less stealthy. You can sleep in my room, Saige; I'll sleep out here."
"I don't want you to give up your room for me."
"Well, I don't really want you this close to the front door. In a worst-case scenario, I want to be the thing between you and…whoever it is that's been following you. I won't be able to sleep if you're out here."
"Okay…if you're sure."
Nolan moves toward me, still leaving plenty of space between us, and then runs his fingers through my hair before resting his hand on my hip.
"Can I touch you?" he asks.
I nod. "Yes."
He steps a little closer, dipping his hand inside my shorts, his fingers finding my clit. I exhale slowly, letting my eyes close while he touches me, growing slicker by the second.
"You're so fucking beautiful, Saige," he whispers. "I can't stop thinking about last night. This is all I've wanted to do all day."
"That feels really good," I say breathlessly. Without thinking about it, I reach for him, resting a hand on his chest, and he quickly shrugs it off.
"I'm sorry," I tell him. "I didn't mean to."
"It's okay," he says. "I know it's weird; I get that.
It's not something that anyone really wants to deal with.
I don't even want to deal with it." He places a hand on my cheek, and I close my eyes, somehow trying to lean into it.
"It's lonely. I stopped trying because people always leave, anyway, so what's the point? "
I swallow hard. "People always leave me, too." And I stopped trying, too. "I don't think you're weird, Nolan. I'll do better."
"I have handcuffs in my room…if that's something you think might help."
"Yeah…okay."
"Are you sure?"
"Uh huh."
He smiles. "Okay. Come on."
I'm nervous as hell as I follow him to the bedroom, but I hope he can't tell. I've never let anyone do something like that to me before.
It seems like a lot of trust for me to put into someone who's practically a stranger—a stranger with dead eyes, who kicked some guy's body off a cliff and was unfazed afterward.
I shouldn't be surprised he likes to tie people up and fuck them.
I follow him to the back bedroom, and he closes the door behind us. The room is dark enough that I can't quite see what he's doing, but I hear a drawer open and close and what sounds like metal against metal.
Nolan stops in front of me, grabbing the bottom of my t-shirt and pulling it over my head, leaving me topless in just my pajama pants in front of him.
He licks his lips before saying, "Turn around."
I hold my breath and do what he says, and then he closes the cold, metal cuff around my left wrist, my pulse quickening.
"You have a key, right?"
"Of course I do."
I exhale, trying to keep my breath steady. "Okay."
He takes my right wrist, and I close my eyes, listening to the slow click, click, click as he tightens the cuff.
It isn't painful, but I can definitely feel it.
Then he runs his hands over the front of my body, cupping my tits, teasing my nipples. "Your body is so fucking perfect, Saige."
His hands move to my waist, pulling my bottoms and underwear over my hips until they drop to the ground.
As I step out of them, I feel the tip of his cock against my backside and turn, sitting on the edge of the bed.
Then I lean forward, my hands still tightly bound behind my back, and take him in my mouth.
Nolan hisses through his teeth as I close my lips around it, slowly sucking the length of him to the tip before bobbing my head on his cock again.
Long, loose wavy hair falls around my face, and he gathers it in his hands, holding it away from my face while I work him, gently rocking his hips, pushing into the back of my throat.
He pants with every thrust, every swirl of my tongue, tightening his grip on my hair, and when I look up at him through watery eyes for approval, he's looking down at me, too, his jaw tightly clenched.
"Ah, fuck…" he groans, pulling his dick from my mouth. "Shit. Get on the bed and turn over." He caresses my jaw with the back of his hand. "I want to fuck your pussy."
I nod, and he helps me onto the bed with my hands cuffed behind me, turning me face down, pulling me back onto my knees so that my ass is in the air. Then he positions himself behind me and pushes through my wetness, filling me.
"Oh!" I cry out.
"Try to be quiet, okay?" he says, slowly rolling his hips into my backside. He runs his hands over my ass cheeks, spreading me wider while he fucks into me.
"Okay…" I bite my lip, burying another moan in the back of my throat.
"I've wanted you like this since I watched Dax fuck you over the couch." His calloused hands glide over my cheeks and hips before wrapping around my forearms, just above the cuffs. "These make it even better."
His low voice is raspy and strained now. He pulls back on my arms and slams into me, and I turn, whimpering into the mattress.
"Tell me if it hurts too much."
"Oh, fuck," my muffled voice answers. "Okay."
Nolan pulls back harder on my bound arms, using them for leverage while he thrusts into me.
He doesn't start off slow like he did last night; his hips slam into me hard enough that I wonder if they'll leave a mark—hard enough that I know Elias must have left a bruise on me earlier, because I can feel that, too.
But the pain is nothing compared to the way the thick head of his cock feels at this angle and the way my pussy throbs around him; if anything, it only makes it better. I'm already so close to coming undone, I have to bite the comforter to keep from screaming.
I arch my back, spreading my legs wider, and Nolan groans.
"Fuck…yes…" he says. "Your pussy feels so fucking good. Does that feel good, baby?"
"Yes…" I whimper. "Don't stop. Please, don't stop."
When I tell him, don't stop, he hears harder. I'm not sure why he's so worried about me making so much noise when the sound of his hips slamming into my ass echoes in the room. Still, I keep my jaw clenched, whimpering into the mattress when I come apart.
I barely manage to keep my legs beneath me, my knees weak and body reeling, pleasure running from my center up my spine as the orgasm takes over. All I can think of is how good his dick feels inside me…and how much my arms hurt.
I think I like being tied up.
"Dax was right. You are the perfect fuck doll, Saige."
He releases my arms, grabbing my hips and holding me tight against his body with his dick buried to the hilt, and comes hard, groaning while his fingers dig into my skin.
When he finishes and his hands release my hips, my legs give in, and I fall flat on my stomach on the mattress. He stretches out beside me on his back, shoulder-to-shoulder with me, his lips close enough for me to feel his breath on mine—fully-clothed; he didn't even take off his glasses.
I think of how nice it would be to kiss him. I can feel the warmth of his body at my side, and I know it's the closest he'll ever get to holding me. I wonder if even this is uncomfortable for him.
He runs his fingers through my hair, combing it away from my face, and I wish I could do the same for him. I wish I knew what his hair feels like between my fingers.
I exhale slowly, closing my eyes and imagining his arms wrapped around me, his fingers laced through mine—warmed by his body heat instead of still cuffed and getting colder by the second while his cum drips out of me.
I know he doesn't want to be like this, but I also can't help but feel like if someone is going to handcuff me and fuck me raw like a rag doll, they should at least hold me afterward.
I wish for just a second that I were with Dax instead, and then instantly feel shame.
"Saige, you know…his mom was really sick.
I don't know how much you've heard about her, but she even stabbed his dad once—right in front of Elias.
He should have accepted that he couldn't take care of her.
It's not your fault, and it's not your mom's, either.
And I do feel bad about the way we treated you.
Even though my involvement may have been…
more indirect, you were right; I didn't do anything about it, and I enjoyed it at the time. "
I don't know anything about her. No one talks about her. I don't want an apology, either—not from any of them. I wouldn't accept it, not even while handcuffed naked in bed.
"Yeah, I don't…I don't really care if you feel bad…"
Nolan frowns. "You remember when we were in the kitchen last night, and you told me it was nice to be around people who haven't been broken by the rest of the world yet?"
"Yes."
"I get it, because that's how I feel about Dax. But I like being around you and your brokenness, too, even if I played a hand in that. It's comfortable. Is that fucked up?"
The dull sound of a phone vibrating nearby interrupts us before I can tell him that yes, it's really fucked up.
"Is that yours?" Nolan asks.
"Probably," I tell him. "It was in my pocket."
"Mmm…I guess I should uncuff you, anyway, huh?"
"Yeah, probably."
"If I have the key."
"What?!"
"Juuuust kidding."
"That's not funny."
He pulls the key from the drawer beside the bed and uncuffs me. I turn onto my back and pull the covers over my body, rolling out my aching wrists.
Nolan grabs my phone from the floor and hands it to me before lying at my side again, on top of the covers.
SLUT
YOU'RE A DEAD WHORE
NO ONE WILL MISS YOU WHEN YOU'RE GONE. YOU HAVE NO FRIENDS. NO ONE LOVES YOU. YOU SHOULD JUST DO IT YOURSELF.
I swallow hard and blink back tears, hoping that when I speak, he can't hear how much it bothers me. "It's more of those messages. Less creative than the others."
"Hmm…maybe he's flustered because he can't find you and take pictures of you."
"Yeah. Maybe."
"Let me see your phone."
He messes around with it for a couple of minutes before handing it back.
"What did you do?" I ask.
"I added a separate folder for unknown senders," he says. "Just don't open them anymore, okay? You don't need to see that."
"That'll be kind of hard to resist."
"You can do it. I believe in you," he says.
I laugh a little. "Yeah, right. Well, you're definitely the only one."
Nolan sits at the edge of the bed with his hands in his pockets and sighs. "I should let you sleep now. Come and get me if you need anything, okay?"
"Okay."
"Good night, Saige."
"Good night."
He leaves the room, and I wait a few minutes before I get up, dress, and use the bathroom. Once I'm back in bed, I grab my phone and stare at that picture of Dax in his tux. He does look really good in it, and I shouldn't miss him like this, but I do.
I type and delete several replies before I finally just set my phone aside.
It takes longer than I expected to fall asleep. But I'm glad the room smells like him…because that means he probably didn't notice that I do, too.