25. Ava
Chapter Twenty-Five
Ava
Competence & chemistry
My hand was still, well, on Tanner’s cock. He reached for it, lacing his fingers with mine.
“It’s okay not to rush. Things are usually better that way. I’m not saying that because I’m some kind of expert.”
“I know. It’s not you.” I paused. “I have to admit, sex with my ex was basically like a chore. So when you asked about playing it by ear, it reminded me how he used to complain when I was just trying to move it along so we could be done.”
“Ava, I’m sorry you went through that.”
I was so embarrassed that I’d told him any of this, I just shrugged. “You know, lesson learned. It’s really good that he cheated on me.”
Tanner looked a little puzzled, and I shrugged again. “Because it made me end it really fast. I needed to do that. We all make mistakes. I believe this, but just because I made the mistake of marrying him, I didn’t have to make it forever.”
“That’s a really good point.”
“How did we get on this topic?”
“You asked me if I missed my ex,” Tanner pointed out.
“Oh, right. Now I’ve just humiliated myself in front of you. Again.”
He shook his head. “You’re just being honest. Hell, I told you I was accused of being beige.”
I snorted. “We’ve established beige is actually a great color.”
His thumb distracted me as he brushed idle strokes along the inside of my wrist. I realized he could just do that forever, and I would be happy. My hormones loved it.
I was hot all over, a little tingly and breathless, and it was so foreign to me to actually be excited about any kind of touch.
Even before I married Brad and experienced our disaster of a sex life, I felt like I didn’t know how to reconcile two parts of myself: the tendency to be a little too pushy and get too excited, running into the hard wall of my inexperience and insecurity.
Needing a distraction, I looked over at Growly, who was sound asleep. I glanced over at Tanner again. “I told him not to mess it up if you wanted to kiss me.”
Tanner’s laugh rumbled, and I giggled. “I’ve never had a pet. Is that a thing?”
He shrugged. “He seems very asleep.”
We both looked over at Growly, who was still asleep. “It should be fine, but it feels weird.”
“Ava, you’re thinking too hard,” Tanner said. I let out a sigh. “Let’s just watch a show.”
I sagged back into the couch cushions. “I’m getting ahead of myself. I need to put the pizza away anyway.”
“You’re not putting anything away.” He narrowed his eyes at me as he released my hand and stood to pick up the pizza boxes. “I’ve got this.”
“I know, but—”
“Ava, am I going to need to get bossy with you?” He waggled his brows, winking as he turned away, and I enjoyed the view. He was muscly everywhere. I loved it.
While it was extremely frustrating to feel limited and like I should get up and help, I decided—as I waited on the couch with Growly snoring in the corner while Tanner put the pizza boxes away in the refrigerator—that it wasn’t a bad deal to have a situationship with a guy who didn’t mind doing things around the house.
Brad had been useless that way. He was the guy who would argue about how hard he worked and how, when he came home, he just wanted to relax.
Meanwhile, I worked just as much as he did, if not more, and did all the stuff at home.
Our two biggest arguments in our short-lived marriage were about housework and the whole sex thing.
I shoved those memories away. I really didn’t want thoughts of Brad to ruin my time with Tanner. Because I liked Tanner. A lot.
Within minutes, Tanner was drying his hands on a dish towel and hanging it where it belonged, another mark in his favor. Not only did he help, but he knew what the fuck to do.
I now understood the concept of competence porn. I’d heard that expression before, but seeing as my one and only serious relationship had been with someone who wasn’t competent at anything—except being a useless jerk—I’d never grasped it.
Aside from the rescuing thing—which Tanner was very competent at—he could wash dishes and put everything away in its proper place. No instructions or nagging necessary. My ovaries were about to swoon over this.
When he turned and started walking back to the couch, I noticed how broad and strong his shoulders were. Sweet hell. This man.
“What?” Tanner asked as he sat down beside me.
I reined in my hormones. “You do dishes.”
His sleeves were still rolled up. Arm sexiness abounded with his muscled forearms dusted with golden-brown hair. Heat rolled through me, and I almost had to clench my thighs to relieve the pressure building. Oh. My. God.
“I do,” he said, completely oblivious to me swooning over his arms and my hormones twirling and pirouetting inside. “It’s not that hard.”
“Well, I appreciate it very much.”
He nodded. “Okay.”
I shimmied a little closer, grateful that Growly had fallen sound asleep on the opposite side of Tanner.
“What’s up?” His lips twitched at the corners, and his gaze was teasing.
“Kiss me. You’re really good at it.”
He did just as I asked. No hesitation. Within a matter of seconds, he carefully pulled me onto his lap, yet another mark in his favor. Even though I kept forgetting to be mindful of my ankle, this man did not. He adjusted me carefully so that my foot was still propped up on the ottoman.
All the while, he didn’t lose sight of my mouth. Dusting kisses at the corners of my mouth, nipping at my bottom lip with his teeth, and his tongue gliding against mine.
When we broke apart, I gulped in air, lifting my eyes to his. “We could just do this forever.”
“Not gonna argue with you there.”
Yet I could feel his arousal. I shimmied my bottom over it.
He gritted his teeth. “Ava,” he warned.
“What? I did just say we could kiss forever, but that was sort of a lie because I want more.”
Tanner sucked in a breath and shifted, carefully lifting me in his arms.
“My boot is so not sexy,” I pointed out.
“We can work around it.”
“Can we, though? Because to get my clothes off,” I said, “we’re gonna have to take it off.”
“Are you sleeping with it?”
“Yeah. I take all my clothes off, put on my sleep clothes, and then put it back on. The doctor told me I could sleep without it, but I don’t want to accidentally mess up my ankle.”
“We can handle it.” He began walking across the room, holding me easily.
“You don’t have any trouble carrying me,” I felt the need to point out as he adjusted me in his arms and crossed over to my bedroom door.
“You’re not heavy, Ava.”
“I’m not sure about that. My ex told me I was chubby.”
“He’s an asshole.”
“He is!” I giggled.
The next thing I knew, we were in my bedroom, and I was starting to get a little nervous. Tanner, once again, somehow read my mind.
“Don’t go there, Ava. Stop thinking.”
I swallowed and nodded, trying to ignore the confusing muddle of my hormones going crazy and anxiety spinning into the madness.
He eased me onto the bed, shifting me all the way back against the pillows and making sure my leg was fully extended on the bed.
He rested both hands on the sides of my hips, looking into my eyes as he leaned over the edge of the bed.
“Let’s go ahead and get that boot off.”
“Are we going to—”
“I know we don’t want to have to worry about that. We’re gonna take it off, get your leggings off, and then put your boot back on.”
“This is good. I like this plan,” I agreed with alacrity.
In short order, we took care of matters. Then I was on the bed in my panties, with my boot on. Still so unsexy.
“You have too many clothes on,” I announced.
Tanner’s cheeks were actually a little flushed as he looked back at me. His breath was short, and I decided this was a good sign. Because I was hot all over and could barely breathe.