Chapter 12 You Win Some, You Lose Some #3
Dax falls asleep, but I don't. I lie awake, listening to the rain against his bedroom window, until eventually, the alarm goes off. Nolan disables and resets it before coming upstairs. Then, he enters Dax's room through the bathroom and stands at my side of the bed.
"Hi," I whisper.
"Hey," he says before stretching out in the space beside me. "What are you doing up?" He takes my hand, lacing our fingers together before pressing his forehead to mine.
I close my eyes, breathing him in before exhaling slowly. "I couldn't sleep. I missed you too much."
Nolan presses his lips to mine. "You don't need to worry about me, Saige. Nothing is going to happen to me."
Dax groans beside me as he rolls onto his side. "See? I told you he would be fine, Saige." He sits up and leans across me, placing a hand on the back of Nolan's neck. "You're such a beautiful man." He leans in and kisses him. "I missed you, too."
Dax is asleep again as soon as his head hits the pillow, and Nolan laughs a little.
"You think he was even awake?"
I smile. "No. He's probably just sleep talking. And sleep kissing."
"I'm going to bed, too." He releases my hand and runs his fingers up my bare arm, stopping to toy with the strap of my tank top. "I just wanted to see you first. I love you so much, Saige."
"I love you, too. I want to show you something, though." I pull my arm out from under the blanket, turning it over so he can see the tattoo.
Nolan smiles. "You did it, huh?"
"You knew about it?"
"Mmhmm. He's been afraid to ask; he thought you'd say no."
"Do you like it?"
"Of course I do." He stares at the barbed wire wrapped heart for a moment before speaking. "We need you, Saige. There's no one like you. We don't really work as well without you, you know that?"
"Well…what do you mean? Is there something wrong?"
"No. Of course not—nothing like that." He pauses, tracing circles against my shoulder with his fingertips.
"I just mean that you made us better; you made Dax softer.
I don't think either of us would have ever told the other how we felt if it weren't for you.
We would have just…self-imploded. And you gave me a reason to be strong.
I wake up, and I have something to look forward to, because I have both of you.
I'm finally fucking happy. I just hope you know how loved you are… by both of us."
I nod slightly. "I do. I know that."
"Good. Because you're not extra, Saige. You belong with us."
"I feel that way, too." I see how well we all fit. "I'm scared…about tomorrow."
"Yeah? Which part?"
"All of it."
Nolan sighs. "It'll be over soon. We have to protect our family, Saige."
"But there has to be another way."
"There isn't. And Dax will be with me—it'll be fine."
"Elias should go, too."
Nolan laughs a little. "Should I tell him you want to sacrifice him instead?"
"I don't care. He's a giant."
"He's conspicuous and impulsive. He's reckless—you know that. I'm none of those things."
"You're sending me across the country with him."
"He loves you, too," he says. "He'll keep you safe."
I don't want to admit that I'm starting to believe it, so I stay quiet.
Nolan kisses me again. "Go to sleep, Saige. I'll see you in the morning."
"Okay."
He disappears through the bathroom, closing the door behind him. I'd hoped he'd stay and sleep beside me, but he can't always do that, and that's okay.
I love him like he loves me—scars and all.
Finally, I close my eyes, but my phone vibrates twice against the nightstand.
I grab it and open my messages.
ELIAS Just landed. We lost again, Saige.
ELIAS See you soon…
My heart jumps into my throat. There's no way—no fucking way—I'm actually doing that.
I don't have to. I never agreed to any of this, and for all he knows, I'm asleep, and I won't even see the text. I can pretend I never saw it, and then roll my eyes when he asks about it in the morning.
But thirty minutes later, I'm still awake, my heart pounding. I know he'll be home any minute, and I can't stop thinking about it.
I can't stop thinking about him finding me naked, bent over his bed. And how the last time he really spanked me, he came in his pants.
It's making me wet.
I slip out from under Dax's arm and creep down the dark hallway to Elias's room. Shortly after I strip down, the front door opens and closes.
My heart pounds in my chest like I just ran a fucking marathon. When I bend over the edge of the bed, I can hear the blood pumping in my ears.
I can't tell if I'm terrified or excited, but I don't think it really matters. I know my clit is throbbing.
I don't look up when the bedroom door opens, and I hear Elias's bag hit the carpet.
"Huh…" His footsteps approach the bed. "Look what a good girl you are, Saige. I'm pleasantly surprised. You must have missed me after all."
Elias stops beside me, my cheeks burning when we make eye contact. "Fuck." He exhales and then slowly pulls his shirt and hoodie over his head. Then, he moves behind me, out of my line of vision.
I forget how to breathe.
"You look so fucking perfect." He runs his hand over my bare ass—slowly, gently.
It does nothing to calm my nerves.
"You understand what's about to happen to you, don't you?"
I barely force the word from my lips. "Yes."
"You're going to feel this on the plane tomorrow, Saige. You're probably going to feel it for a while."
His hand leaves my body, and I fist the comforter and squeeze my eyes shut, bracing myself for what comes next. "Wait!"
When the impact doesn't come, I open my eyes, shocked.
Elias places his hand on my cheek, tracing my lower lip with his thumb. "What is it, baby? What do you need?"
"I…nothing. I'm fine."
"Yeah? You sure?"
"Yeah, I'm sure."
"Okay."
He kisses me, and then just after he pulls away, his hand comes down on my ass. "Ahh!"
Tears sting my eyes. I didn't want to scream, but I wasn't prepared for it that time.
I'm ready for the next one. And the next one. And the next one. Smack. Smack. Smack. I clench my jaw tightly, burying my cries in the back of my throat.
Each time he spanks me harder than the time before. My skin feels like it's on fucking fire, and I can't hold it in anymore. I bury my face in the bedding, letting it soak up my tears and my screams.
"How's that feel, hmm?" Smack.
"It hurts!" Smack. "Ah! Oh, god." Smack.
Elias's breath grows labored. I lose track of how many times he's spanked me, but I like the way he groans every time his hand makes contact with my skin.
It's the only thing keeping me from begging him to stop…or at least switch sides.
Smack.
"Fuck!"
"You should see the handprint I've left on your ass, baby." Smack.
"Ahh!"
"I'm starting to feel a lot better about that loss." Smack. "Jesus, I'm so fucking hard." Smack. "Your pussy is going to be just as raw as your ass when I'm done with you." Smack.
"Elias…fuck!"
"I know, baby. This hurts you a lot more than it hurts me. I think you know you deserve to be punished by me, though, don't you?"
"Yes…"
Smack. "Fuck, Saige…" he growls. Smack.
I sob as he continues—the spankings coming in quicker succession than before. Smack, smack, smack, smack, smack.
I don't have time to breathe between them. Just when I think I might pass out, he finally stops.
I sniffle, gasping for breath. "Elias…?"
His thumb runs over my pussy. "Well, it feels like your pussy's crying, too, little sister. Don't worry, I'm going to make you feel better." Then, he takes his thumb away and pushes his dick inside me, burying himself to the hilt.
"Oh, fuck…"
"Is that better, Saige?" He pulls all the way out before thrusting inside me again. "I know your ass must be throbbing like my fucking dick right now. This has to feel so good after being in so much pain. It must be a relief to get your pussy filled."
The thing is…he's right. Maybe he just put it in my head—or maybe I just missed him—but somehow, the pain into pleasure that feels like relief makes it so fucking good.
"Yes…" I moan. "That's…fuck."
"What do you want, baby? Tell me how to make it all better."
"Harder. Just…fucking use me."
"That's my good girl…" He fucks me faster, his hips slamming against that sore spot on my ass, and my toes start to curl. And each time he hits that sore spot, I clench around his dick, and it feels that much fucking better.
It's a high. I'm somewhere between crying and coming, and I never want to fall over this ledge. I could stay like this forever, bent over his bed, letting him take out his rage and his sick obsession on my body.
Maybe he's right, and I should have done it sooner. Maybe I should have walked into his bedroom like this a long time ago.
I think he got what he told me he wanted that night at the house. I think I'm addicted to his dick.
"Elias!"
"You're already going to come, aren't you?"
I respond with a whimper, the tension at my core about to snap with each brutal thrust of his hips. He's using me like a rag doll; he pushes my head into the mattress while I clench around his dick.
"You've been so good for me, Saige—waiting in my room to let me beat your ass and use your pussy like this. You're such a good little slut for me."
My knees buckle, and I cry out as the orgasm tears me apart.
"There you go," he says, fucking me hard through my climax. "How's that feel, baby?"
"Fuck, I love your cock…"
My cheeks burn. I didn't mean to say that damn word—it just slipped out. It was the fucking orgasm.
"What's that? You love me?"
"No, I—"
"You just love it when I fuck you?"
When I don't answer, he smacks my ass again, and my pussy squeezes his dick. "Ahh!"
"It's okay, little sister. I love your tight pussy, too.
I love seeing my handprint on your thick ass.
" He groans, his thrusts quickening. "I love watching my cum drip down your fucking thighs.
I love that I get to use you however I fucking please.
Fuck…you're mine, Saige. You're so." Thrust. "Fucking. " Thrust. "Mine."
I feel him coming inside me and reach behind me, grabbing his arm and pulling him down on top of me…just to feel his weight on me. And it feels so fucking good.
Elias rocks against me, groaning in my ear, telling me what a good sister I am while his dick pulses inside me. I bring his lips to mine, kissing him hard while he rocks his hips against my backside, until finally, he stills.
"Did you miss me, Saige?" he asks when he pulls away.
I nod.
"I missed you, too."
"Elias?"
"What is it, baby?"
"What if it's a tie?"
He laughs a little before gently running his fingers up and down the side of my face.
"Well, then, I guess that'll depend on my mood.
If I played well and it was a good game, I'll probably want to choke you with my dick.
If I played like shit or we got robbed, I'll probably need to take it out on your ass like this.
Stay right here—just like this—I want to look at you. "
Elias stands, and his eyes roam over my body—over my raw ass and swollen, dripping pussy. "Fuck, you're beautiful." He stares for a couple of minutes, admiring his work, before he says, "You can get up now, baby. Let's go to bed."
I crawl under the blankets with him, and he holds me, running his hand down my back. When he reaches the raw skin on my right ass cheek, I hiss.
"Does it hurt?" he asks.
"What do you think? You could have at least divided it up between both sides."
"Trust me, you wouldn't want me to. You need at least one good side to sit on.
Plus, we're playing the best team in our conference on Friday; we're going to get our asses kicked.
You're going to be glad you have a fresh side.
And it made such a pretty mark." He presses his lips to mine.
"You're so fucking beautiful, Saige. And you know I think you're especially beautiful when you look pathetic and desperate, like you did for me tonight. "
I shake my head. "Elias, I—"
"What? What's wrong with that? I love you, Saige."
"You still scare the shit out of me, Elias."
"You don't look so scared to me, Saige—in fact, you look pretty damn comfortable. Who are you trying to convince?"
"I'm just really tired."
"Well, then, go to sleep. We have to get up in like…three hours for the airport." He wraps his arms around me and then kisses the top of my head. "It's okay, Saige."
I close my eyes. The truth is, I am pretty damn comfortable, and I still don't know if it's okay.
But I can't stop. I don't want to stop, and I don't know what to do about it.
What if I do love him? How could I possibly fucking rationalize that?
Do I just tell myself that he didn't know any better?
That obsession blinded him to his own behavior, but it's okay now?
It's too fucking loaded—it's the conversation I've been avoiding for a while now, so I stuff it back down and go to sleep.