Chapter 14
everything will be better in the morning
Saige
Since I can't check into the hotel without Elias, I spend over an hour on a couch in the lobby, staring out the window, watching the snow fall with my earbuds in.
I hate them. I miss my headphones.
I don't notice him at first—not until he places a hand on my shoulder. "Saige?"
I pause my music. "Huh?"
"I didn't expect you to be back this early," Elias says. "You haven't been sitting here long, have you?"
"No," I lie.
"Are you okay?"
I hesitate before shaking my head.
"What do you mean, no? Did someone hurt you?"
I shake my head again. "No."
Elias sighs. "All right. Well, let's go get our stuff, okay?"
He takes my hand, and I wait beside him at the front desk while he checks into the hotel.
"What happened, Saige?" he asks when the elevator doors close.
"Nothing, it's just…" I swallow a lump in my throat. "You were right. It is messed up, you know?"
"Do you want to talk about it?"
"I don't know if I can talk about it…with you."
I look away from the hurt in his eyes just as the elevator doors open. In silence, we make our way down the hallway to our room.
But it isn't just a room. We walk through double doors and step into a suite with a living room, a full kitchen, and a large television. Floor-to-ceiling windows line the back wall with a view of the sun setting amid the Toronto skyline.
It makes me miss living in the city.
"Holy shit. Is this the right room?"
Elias shrugs. "The key worked, didn't it?"
"They just gave you this?"
"Yep. They really want me."
It hits me like a punch in the gut. With everything else going on, I completely forgot that if this trip goes well, it means Elias will be leaving.
Leaving me. Us.
"So, are you going to—"
"Let's talk about it later. Not right now, all right?"
"Okay."
I turn the corner and step into a bedroom with a king-sized bed, white linens, and the same windows lining the walls. To my left, I find a bathroom with a jacuzzi tub, a separate shower with two showerheads, and a television in the mirror above the sinks.
I've never seen anything like it in real life.
"Grabbed these from the mini-bar," Elias says, holding tiny liquor and wine bottles between his fingers. "Which do you want?"
"I'll take the tiny wines."
"Classy." He sets both on the edge of the bathtub and then runs the water. "Why don't you just relax? I'll go order everything that looks good on the room service menu; I'll get you a normal-sized bottle of wine, too."
"Okay," I tell him.
He tilts my chin upward before his lips meet mine. "I love you, Saige," he says and then leaves the bathroom, closing the door behind him.
This isn't what I expected. I thought he'd be angry when I wouldn't tell him why I was upset—I definitely didn't think he'd give me any kind of space.
As the tub fills, part of me waits for him to barge in and demand I tell him what's wrong, but it doesn't happen.
It might be the nicest thing he's ever done for me.
I let the bath fill before stripping down, catching a glimpse of my black and blue ass before slowly sinking into the steaming water. Then, I open one of the tiny bottles of wine and take a drink.
Maybe I can't tell Elias about what happened, but there is someone I can tell. I open FaceTime and find Nolan's name at the top of my recent calls.
But he doesn't answer. And he probably didn't answer because it's already started—whatever he and Dax are doing.
I grab the remote and turn on the television, but only because I can't hold it in anymore, and I don't want Elias to hear me cry.
It's just too heavy. It can't be normal for a person to have to carry this much. Maybe that's how I ended up here…with him.
I lie against the side of the tub, sipping from my tiny wine bottles, allowing myself to feel it, until the water becomes lukewarm, and he finally knocks.
"Saige? Are you okay in there? The food is here—there's a giant pile of nachos with extra jalapenos. Actually, I ordered everything on the menu with jalapenos. And I have a normal-sized bottle of wine, if you want some."
"You can come in…with the wine."
The door opens a few seconds later, and Elias sets a glass of wine on the ledge of the tub before sitting on the floor.
He reaches for me, placing a hand on my cheek before his thumb swipes at the mascara under my eye. "You've been crying."
"Sorry you missed it."
"I told you it's not like that," he says. "Do you want me to leave?"
I shake my head.
"Do you want to tell me what's wrong? I promise you can tell me."
I hesitate to answer while Elias runs his thumb up and down my cheek.
"My dad has this girlfriend, which is fine; I guess he told me that, but…
he lives with her and these two little girls.
Apparently, he has for a while. And they have a really nice house, and both girls have their own rooms, so…
there's enough space for me. He coaches soccer and builds snowmen, and there are no pictures of me.
It's like I don't fucking exist." I place my hand over his, lacing our fingers together. "Are you going to laugh at me now?"
"Of course not. Why would I laugh at you?"
I sigh. "I don't know. I don't know what you want from me."
"Yes, you do, baby." He kisses the top of my head. "Come on, Saige. The water is cold. That can't be comfortable."
"Okay."
I get out of the bath, drying off before pulling on one of those fluffy white hotel robes, and then, I grab my glass of wine and follow him out to the bedroom, where it looks like Elias ordered almost everything off the room service menu.
Four separate trays of food sit at the end of the bed, along with another unopened bottle of wine.
"What?"
"That's a lot of food."
"They told me I could order whatever. Here…" He tosses me the remote. "Pick whatever you want."
I settle on a horror movie, which, in retrospect, may have been a mistake. I needed something that didn't make me feel anything, but it just makes me worry about Dax and Nolan.
Neither of them have texted me since we got back to the room. But I was prepared for it, and they told me not to worry.
Thirty minutes into the movie, I've devoured a good amount of the nachos, some of the jalapeno poppers, and about half of a bottle of wine.
I reach for the chocolate-covered strawberries before a jump scare catches me off guard. I knew it was coming—killer hiding behind the shower curtain—and somehow I still let it get me.
"Did the bad guy scare you, Saige?" Elias runs his hand up my thigh, stopping when he reaches my ass—the sore side—and then he squeezes, causing me to yelp.
"Ouch!" I swat at him, watching the corners of his lips turn up before my eyes roam over his bare chest and abdomen—down to his hard cock straining against his sweats.
Elias likes it when I'm scared, too.
"Not really."
He grabs a knife from one of the trays and stabs one of the strawberries. "Here you go, baby," he says, holding it in front of my lips.
When I try to grab it, he stops me.
"No hands, Saige."
I hesitate, considering it, noting the feral look in his green eyes, the smirk playing on his lips.
Carefully, I pull the strawberry from the knife with my teeth, biting the greens from the end and then taking the rest into my mouth.
Elias watches me chew, still holding the knife in front of my face.
After I swallow it, he runs the knife over my cheek, and then presses the tip to my throat.
My pulse quickens. "Elias…what are you doing?"
"Just reminiscing," he says. "Is that okay?"
I swallow hard. "I try not to."
"Really? I think about it all the time. I think I liked chasing you with that knife almost as much as I liked beating your ass black and blue."
I grab his wrist, but something stings me, just under my chin. The tip of the knife nicks my skin, and warm, hot blood runs down my neck.
"Ow!" I sit up and cover it with my hand.
Elias looks at me, licking his lips. He places a hand on my shoulder, pushing me flat on my back on the bed before opening the front of my robe with the knife. "Are you scared now, Saige?"
He pulls my hand away from my neck and then licks the blood from my palm.
"Yes," I tell him as his mouth moves to my bloodied neck. "You scare me when you're like this."
Elias ignores me, continuing with my neck before his lips move to mine, and I taste my own blood on his tongue.
His mouth moves back to my neck and then down to my chest, leaving bloodstains all over the front of my body. "You look so pretty like this, Saige," he says. "You look so fucking sexy covered in blood…"
He runs the flat part of the blade over my nipple, pressing the cold metal against my skin just hard enough to make me nervous.
"Elias…"
"Just relax. I won't hurt you…unless you ask me to."
He traces the underside of my breast with the tip of the blade before moving to the other side, his breath labored, and then he toys with my nipple with the dull side, running it back and forth over the pebble.
I grab his wrist. "Elias, stop. You're making me nervous."
"I can tell, Saige. I'm so fucking hard right now," he rasps. "See what you do to me? I'm so fucking addicted to this. You know what else made me hard?" He moves the knife to my lips, my hand still holding his wrist.
"What?" I ask, my voice barely a whisper.
"When you said sorry to me on the plane," he says. "Kiss the knife, and tell me you're sorry, baby…and then I'll give you my dick instead."
I can hear my blood pumping, my pulse quickening, as I pucker my lips, pressing them to the blade. "I'm sorry."
"That's it, baby." He set the knife aside, and I exhale sharply. "Say it again."
"I'm sor—" Before the words leave my mouth, he thrusts into me.
My hips lift off the bed as he fills me, and I whimper, wrapping my arms and legs around his body. He grabs a fist full of my hair and pulls my head to the side, baring the broken skin at the top of my throat.
"Oh, fuck…I'm sorry!"
"Yes," he growls. "You are fucking sorry, aren't you, little sister?"