Chapter 25 #2
“Ah.” She lifted her chin. “I see.”
“And I worried that you might have felt triggered by some of Wilson’s comments or what happened in the…
aftermath,” I said, alluding to internet trolls.
“So I wanted to see what you thought, because of that and the time commitment. My hope is that everyone will focus more on this positive change than the fight, but I can’t promise that.
And while I appreciate them offering it to me, I don’t have to accept. ”
“What?” She jerked her head back. “Frasier. No.” She came closer. “If it’s something you want to do, you should absolutely accept. I’m just surprised, that’s all. I know how much you hate being the center of attention.”
“You’re right. I’m not a fan of the spotlight.” And I hated when its harsh glare was directed at Bryn—using her tragedy, her pain, to sell stories. “But I am a fan of using my platform to make positive change. And this opportunity could show the world that there’s space for everyone in hockey.”
“Then you should do it.” She gave me a watery smile. “If that’s what you want. Because you’d be a wonderful role model.”
I was humbled by her comments. “Thanks, angel.” I gave her hand a squeeze. “I wish Derek were here. He was always talking about growing the game for the next generation. He would’ve supported this initiative wholeheartedly.”
She nodded, her eyes glassy as she glanced down at the floor. “Yes. He would’ve.”
Later, after she’d finished going through Derek’s jerseys, we ate dinner. Took the dogs for a walk. I’d set up the projector in the backyard, cueing up a movie. Less than ten minutes in, she’d fallen asleep.
I studied Bryn, gently brushing her hair away from her face. Her eyes were closed, blond lashes soft against her skin. Her lips were slightly pursed, face relaxed. She was breathtaking and completely exhausted.
I frowned. The only other time I’d seen her this tired was after Derek’s death. The shock of it, the aftermath, the trauma had completely depleted her.
I understood that grief was nonlinear, but I didn’t get the impression that this was about Derek. For the past few months, everything had been great. And I couldn’t understand what had happened or even how to fix it.
Was it the fight? The response? The travel?
I couldn’t change my travel schedule, and I’d tried to alleviate her fears. When I was home, I did everything I could do to maximize our limited time together, which was why I’d suggested moving in together. I’d been so certain she’d agree that I’d reached out to a Realtor about listing my condo.
But Bryn had seemed surprised by my suggestion. Hesitant. She’d asked if she could think about it.
I didn’t know what there was to think about. We loved each other. We wanted to be together. Right?
I sighed, falling onto my back on the quilt.
I stared up at the sky, tucking my arms beneath my head.
Bryn said she needed to work through something, but in the past, Bryn had always come to me, relied on me.
It killed me—not knowing what was bothering her or how to fix it.
And when the credits eventually rolled on the movie, I was no closer to having any answers.
“The wind whistled through the cave, making her shiver and the fire flicker. He laid her down on their jackets, ignoring the storm that continued to rage outside—”
“What the fuck are you listening to?” Gabe asked, entering the room where the ice baths were located.
I was about to step into the freezing water but quickly hit pause on the audiobook, hoping my expression wasn’t guilty as fuck. “Hammy feeling better?”
The only reason I’d selected that book was because I’d assumed he’d be with the trainers a while longer. Gabe’s hamstring had been bothering him since a hit he’d taken in the last game, so he’d been spending more time with the trainers—doing stretches, getting it massaged.
“Yes, but—” He narrowed his eyes at me. “Why are you being so cagey? And what was that book?”
I rubbed the back of my neck. “It’s, um…” God, there was no getting around this. Was there? “Have you heard of Meghan Hart?”
“No.” He removed his sweat pants, leaving him in his compression shorts. “Should I know her?”
“She’s one of Bryn’s favorite authors.”
He arched one brow. “Interesting. What does she write?”
“Romance.”
He leaned his head back and guffawed. “Fizzy, if you wanted some tips, all you had to do was ask.”
I rolled my eyes. “I’ve been missing Bryn. I thought this might help me feel closer to her.” And I was still thrown by her reaction to the idea of us moving in together.
I could understand if she wasn’t ready to leave behind the home she’d shared with Derek, but I wasn’t asking her to do that. I would never ask that of her. Maybe I’d been wrong to think she was ready for this next step.
Gabe leaned his elbow on the edge of the cold tub next to mine. “She’s been gone, what? A day?”
“Two,” I said, but it seemed like so much more than that because of the distance she seemed intent on putting between us. “And I feel like I haven’t seen her at all since the season started.”
Now that I was the one at home and she was out of town, it was even more disorienting. I didn’t like it.
“But the two of you are good, right?”
I lifted a shoulder, not entirely sure what to say to that.
“Fine.” Gabe yanked his shirt over his head. “Since you’re so mopey and pathetic, let’s give it a try.”
I pressed play, sinking into the water as I focused on my breathing. The narrator’s voice carried through the room, describing the scene in great detail. It was definitely a good distraction from the ice water.
About five minutes in, the door opened, and Boone came striding in. He paused, glanced between Gabe and me, and then said, “Oh shit.” He covered his mouth, a huge fucking grin on his face as the narrator continued to describe how the main character slid inside her… “What are you two listening to?”
Gabe and I glanced at each other, then Gabe pointed at me. “It was his idea.”
Traitor.
“Is this Meghan Hart?” Boone asked, leaning against the wall.
I whipped my attention to him. “You know her?”
He lifted a shoulder. “I slept with this girl once who was a huge fan. She asked me to act out one of the scenes from the book.”
I arched an eyebrow. Gabe started laughing. “You pretended to be trapped in a cave in the middle of a snowstorm?” He laughed some more.
“No, fucker. Just wait until later in the book.” Boone winked. “She asked me to tie her up and blindfold her.”
“Damn,” Gabe said just as my timer went off, and the narrator ceased talking. “That sounds hot.”
Boone smirked. “It was. So did you guys start a book club or something?”
I laughed, climbing out of the tub. “No. Though I guess we do a lot of buddy reads.”
“Buddy reads?” Gabe asked, toweling off.
“Bryn told me that’s what it’s called when you read a book with a friend at the same time. Like we do with our audiobooks.”
“Aw.” Boone batted his eyes. “Aren’t you two too cute.” He hooked a thumb over his shoulder. “Should I tell the guys we need to start workshopping your couple’s moniker?”
I gave his shoulder a playful shove. “You going to take your ice bath or just stand there and pretend?”
Boone crossed his arms over his chest. “Why are you even still here?”
“Bryn’s out of town,” Gabe offered.
“Oh. That explains it,” Boone said, tilting his chin up.
I frowned. “Explains what?”
“Why you’ve been such a grumpy bastard lately.” He pushed off the wall, following us to the sauna.
“I am not—” I looked to Gabe for confirmation, but he scrunched up his face. “Fine.” I pressed the heels of my hands into my eyes. “I am.”
Because I didn’t understand what was going on. Because I didn’t understand Bryn’s hesitation when it came to our future.
Gabe opened the door to the sauna, and the three of us filed in before taking a seat. “What’s going on? You’ve been distracted and playing like shit all week.”
Boone nodded.
Fuck.
“I’m worried about her,” I admitted.
“Because she fainted?” Gabe asked. “Because, fuck. That was scary.”
Gabe had followed me to the bathroom after it had happened. I hadn’t known it at the time, hadn’t realized he was waiting in the hallway until I’d carried Bryn to the back exit of the restaurant.
“That, and I feel like she’s pulling away from me,” I admitted.
“Why do you feel like she’s pulling away from you?” Boone asked.
“Because I know her, and she’s been withdrawn lately. Plus…” I hesitated, not sure I wanted to admit this, even to two of my closest friends.
“Plus…” Boone prompted.
I… Shit. “I suggested that we move in together, and she said, ‘Can I think about it?’”
“Oof.” Gabe cringed, and Boone sucked in air through his teeth.
“Right.” I used a towel to dry the sweat from my face.
I was fucked.
Did she need to think about it because she had reservations about us? About our relationship? I pressed the heels of my hands to my eyes, sick of asking myself the same questions with no answers.
I knew I was spiraling, but I couldn’t seem to stop. If only she would just talk to me. Tell me what she was thinking.
“Did she say why?” Gabe asked.
I shook my head, dropping it to rest in my hands. I groaned, wishing I knew what was wrong.
“I don’t get that,” Boone said, interrupting my thoughts. “I know she loves you. It’s obvious to anyone who sees the two of you together.”
I knew she did too, which was why I couldn’t make sense of it.
“How did you ask her?” Gabe asked.
I told them about the conversation. When I finished, Gabe scrunched up his face. “I hate to say this, but it wasn’t the most romantic way to go about it.”
I barked out a laugh. “I didn’t realize I needed to make a big deal out of it, an elaborate declaration.”
“Dude, have you seen what guys do to ask a girl to prom these days?” he asked. When I shook my head, he said, “My nephew came up with this whole ‘promposal’ with two of his friends, where they did an elaborate dance number and everything.”
“You’re shitting me.”
He shook his head, but it was Boone who responded. “No. There’s whole TikTok videos on it. It’s insane.”
I had a full-body shiver. “This is exactly why I avoid social media.”
Even so, it wasn’t like me to sit around stewing in my head and doing nothing. I was a man of action, and I could remind her of why we were so good together.
It was time to start phase two of Operation Woo.