Chapter 26 #2
“You seem reluctant to tell him,” she said. “Are you worried about how he’ll respond?”
“I mean, yes and no. It’s not like we were planning this or even trying for it. But I know he loves me.”
“True, but I know Frasier, and he adores you. Don’t you think he’ll be happy about the baby, even if the timing is a bit of a surprise?”
Of that, I had little doubt. I knew Frasier loved me, just like I knew he would love this child. I nodded, feeling even more selfish for keeping this secret from him for as long as I had.
I should be happy. I was happy. I knew that things didn’t always go according to plan, and this was a gift. I’d found love again with an amazing man, and we were going to have a baby together.
And yet…I couldn’t help thinking of Derek. I peered down at my tattoo, stuck between the past and the future. Derek and Frasier. The two men I loved.
I counted out the little sixes to calm myself. Thirty.
Thirty. Sixes.
I blinked a few times. Thirty was Frasier’s lucky number, his jersey number, just like six had been Derek’s.
And together, they formed the most beautiful butterfly.
Butterflies were a symbol of transformation and rebirth.
Every time I saw one, it felt as if Derek was saying hello.
But now, I’d also come to realize that butterflies were a reminder of everything I’d overcome, always with Fraiser at my side.
Butterfly was also the position a goalie often adopted in defending the net.
Maybe I was looking for meaning where there was none, but it seemed crazy to me that I’d never made those connections before now. Never realized that my tattoo was a perfect representation of the two men I loved.
I was still thinking of that as I talked to my therapist. Got ready for bed. Formulated a plan.
The following day, another package arrived. This time, it was Frasier’s lucky shirt. The note read, “I don’t need luck. All I need is you.”
And I needed Frasier, and it was time to show him that. It was time to go home.
“So…” Allie glanced over at me as we neared the line for airport security. “How are you feeling?”
I held a hand to my stomach. “Like I’m going to throw up.”
“Well, yeah—” She grinned. “You’re pregnant. I hear that’s a common symptom.”
I glared at her.
“Okay. Okay.” She held up her hands. “Jeez. I was just trying to make you laugh. Clearly, pregnancy-related jokes are off the table.”
I rolled my eyes and pulled her into a hug. “Thank you for this week. Thanks for always being there for me.” I could already feel a tear threatening to leak out. Damn it. “I love you, Al.”
“Love you too, Brynnie.” She pulled back, placing her hand to my stomach, though it didn’t look much different from normal. “And I love you too, baby.”
I smiled, softening. “You’re going to be the best auntie.” She grinned, and I felt compelled to add, “And a bad influence even if I know you’ll love this kid like crazy.”
She elbowed me. “Hey.”
“You made us all play truth or dare at your wedding.”
“And you totally enjoyed yourself. You know—” she looped her arm through mine “—you should be thanking me for making you play.”
“How do you figure?” I asked.
“Because I’m pretty sure that little burlesque number has something to do with your current situation.” She gave my stomach a pointed glance.
I squeezed my eyes shut, though she might not be entirely wrong. I was only ten weeks along, but it was funny to think that a game of truth or dare had been the catalyst for, well, everything.
I’d embraced my confidence, rediscovering myself and my love for dance. I’d ended the dance by suggesting we kiss. It had forced me to admit that I’d wanted Frasier. And then when we’d played our own private game of truth or dare… I nearly had to fan myself just thinking about it.
I took myself back to those moments, to the feeling of freedom and empowerment I’d experienced. Both from the burlesque dance to the cliff diving and everything that had led up to those moments. Every step of the way, Frasier had been by my side, supporting me, loving me.
I’d promised “together,” and I’d meant it. Deep down, I knew we were better, stronger, together. Yet I’d distanced myself the past few weeks, freaking out alone.
No more.
Yes, I’d needed time to process. But I should’ve trusted him with my feelings. He’d been there for me all along.
I smoothed my fingers over my tattoo, smiling. Derek. Frasier. Me. All of us.
Allie took my hand in hers. “You’re going to be a great mom. Now, go catch your flight so you can surprise your man.”
My conference had ended sooner than expected, and I’d been able to switch to an earlier flight. Frasier had spent all week showing me how much he loved me, sending me surprises. Now it was my turn to show him.
I took a deep breath, hoping I could pull this off. Hoping it would all go over as well as I hoped. “Fingers crossed.”
“He’s totally going to rail you after.” An older woman passing by shot Allie a scandalized look, which my sister ignored.
I laughed, grabbing my bag and rolling it toward the security line. “Never change, Al. Never change.”
“You’ve got this!” She gave me two thumbs up.
“You are so cheesy.” I rolled my eyes, but I was smiling the entire time. “But I know.”
Because I did. I had faith in myself. And I knew that with Frasier by my side, we could handle anything—together.