Chapter 28
TWENTY-EIGHT
The next morning I’m in the shower before classes when I hear a knock and Avery’s head pokes in the room.
“Can I come in? I need to pee.”
I nod as she shuts and locks the door behind her.
She doesn’t move to the toilet, instead she props herself up against the counter and gives me a smug-as-fuck look.
I raise my eyebrows at her as I wash my hair, letting my mind wander idly.
I love the smell of this shampoo and I close my eyes as I take in deep lungfuls of it.
I never want to know how much Avery spends on it.
“The boys are here for you. All three of them. They want to walk you down to breakfast,” she whispers, and I startle out of my daydream, looking over at her quickly.
She grins and wiggles her eyebrows at me.
Sweet Lord . I move a bit faster as I rinse my hair.
I don’t know if I can take much more of their arguing and strange behavior.
“Are you going to tell me what the hell was going on yesterday?”
The next-level, maniacal grin is back on her face.
“They were bickering over your performance. Then Ash pulled you into his arms to get you back up here and all hell broke loose. Harley lost it, he already wants to kill Blaise because he’s got his eye on you.
Even more so because you look at him like he’s dinner and you’re starving .
Now he has to contend with Ash too and he snapped. ”
I shut the water off and try to process what Avery is saying. Blaise has his eye on me? Harley is pissed? What the damned hell?! I grab a towel and step out of the stall. I can’t find any words, but Avery doesn’t seem to need my input.
“It’s killing Harley that you look at Blaise like that.
I think, at this point, he would give up his entire inheritance all over again to get you to look at him with those eyes.
They were about to throw down last night and I told them I would speak to you.
I didn’t want our room being destroyed when you pick which one you want.
This way, you can text them or something and they can throw their pity party elsewhere and my good china will be safe. ”
I can hear my heart pounding in my ears.
I’m a little lightheaded and woozy. This is too much.
I can’t exist like this. There’s still a week left before we leave Hannaford for the summer break and I’ll have to lock myself in our room until then.
It occurs to me that I’ve spent the entire time I’ve been at Hannaford lusting after these guys, hating any girl I’ve spotted them with, and now that I apparently have their attention, I want to crawl under my covers and die.
I’m not equipped for casual hookups, even without the Jackal looming over me, and I know for a fact they don’t do commitment. I am not the girl for them.
I need to call in reinforcements.
“Can you—can you do something for me?”
Avery’s answer is instant and whispered.
“Of course. Anything.”
I smile. I know she means it, too. That’s how this friendship thing works.
Ride or die. “I need you to talk to them. All three of them. And, like, make it so they won’t give me shit about what I’m about to say because I have no fucking idea how to say this to any of them without pissing them off and starting a whole new war. ”
“Easy. Done,” she says, and the little lines between her eyebrows appear, the ones that mean she’s in cleanup mode. Good luck cleaning this up, I want to say, but I manage to reel myself in.
“Right. I had to desensitize myself from Harley. I had to spend weeks looking at abstract parts of him until I could look at him head on without passing out.”
I’m blushing so hard I think the whole room is heating up from it. Avery is clearly trying her best not to dissolve into a fit of laughter and, God, do I love her for it. She even manages to smother her snort into a polite cough.
“I almost had the same problem with Ash but he’s always distracted me with his attitude so I can forget how…
yeah. I’m still having a hard time with Blaise because I spent so long before I met him being obsessed with his songs.
I used to listen to him all the time to escape from the group home and everything with the Twelve.
It means that he’s tied up with that whole part of my life and I can’t look at him without feeling…
safe. So please explain that to them so they don’t think I’m some crazed psycho fan and just let them know I’m dealing with it.
I want to be their friend and not look at him like he’s…
dinner. I don’t want to ruin their friendships or ours just for a quick fuck. ”
Avery gives me this look, with her brows arched and her eyes squinted up a little, like she’s trying to figure out just how dense I am. I try not to squirm.
“You know all three of them are bordering on obsessed with you, right? Ash is freaking the hell out because he can’t figure out when his loathing of you turned into admiration, affection, and lust. Blaise damn near died when he heard you sing because he’d been trying to put you in the little ‘do-not-touch’ box in his head because of Harley, then your voice burned the box right down to the ground and, well, we all know how Harley feels.
This is not about sex. Well, I’m sure they would be very interested in having sex with you but it’s more than that. ”
Panic rises in my chest, bubbling and frothing until I think I might choke on it. My voice comes out thready as I say, “No, I didn’t know. I know nothing. This is all very new information for me.”
“Jesus H. Christ, Lips. I thought you were refusing to start something with any of them because you were pissed about last year and wanted to string them along a bit. I was kind of assuming the hot/cold thing you have with them all was foreplay!”
I crumble onto the floor in a heap, oblivious to the fact I’m only half wrapped in a towel and I’m probably showing off a whole bunch of skin to Avery.
She sighs and cracks the door open an inch.
I blush again, remembering that all three of the guys are waiting in our room for us to come out.
I take a deep breath and try not to expire right there on the floor.
Thankfully they can’t see me with Avery’s body blocking mine.
Can I look them in the eye after this? God, this is worse than fighting my way through the Game. Give me a target to take out and I’m golden, give me three guys who like me and I’m dying inside. What the hell am I going to do?
“We’ll meet you guys down at the dining hall…
no, we’re fine… Ash, I have cramps and I need a minute to get myself together and I’d rather not have you all out there listening to me change out tampons…
well, if you listened to me the first time I wouldn’t have to supply you with these details…
no, Lips is still getting dressed… we’re girls, she isn’t worried about my period, she has her own to deal with. Bye!”
She closes the door and smirks at me.
“You’ve clearly scarred your brother for life,” I choke out, but I’m smiling because her joy is infectious.
“I had to go to great lengths to get them the hell out. Harley did not flinch, by the way, he was totally prepared to deal with a blood-soaked Armageddon to stay here and walk you down. The other two manhandled him out.”
I flip onto my back and groan. Avery finally breaks and laughs hysterically. When she finally calms down, wiping tears from her cheeks, she pegs me with a look, though it’s a gentle one.
“We’ve never actually talked about this so I’m requesting this as your truth for the day. Are you a virgin?”
I groan. “As if you can’t tell from my absolute meltdown. Yes, I am. I’m attracted to guys but I’ve always stayed the hell away from them. The risks with the Jackal were just too much to even try to get my head around it.”
Avery hands me my underwear before fluffing her hair as she checks her makeup while I get dressed.
“I am too. I’ve always wanted a boy who loves me as much as the boys do, and Rory was the first guy I thought came close. And, well, you know what happened with Atticus. Clearly, I’m terrible at judging a man’s character.”
I blow out a breath and button my blouse. White-hot rage courses through me every time the name Rory comes out of Avery’s mouth.
“Don’t beat yourself up. I thought he was obsessed with you too. I just didn’t realize he saw you as an object rather than a person.”
She shrugs and gives me a sad smile in the mirror. “We can’t fix my love life so let’s sort yours out. Which one do you like the best? No judgment.”
I stop and sit on the closed toilet seat.
Which one? Fuck. I think about Ash’s face when we did CPR on that kid last year.
I think about Blaise’s staunch defense when Devon cornered me in the boys’ locker room.
I think about Harley’s eyes when he watched me break Harlow’s nose the first time. My body is taken over by a shiver.
“I don’t know. I like them all.”
Avery pauses then a slow smile spreads across her face as she scoots my shoes toward me. She’s basically dressing me while helping me through my breakdown. “I can work with that. I did tell those guys the only way they would ever have a relationship that worked is if it was with the same girl.”
A hot wave of lust throbs through my body even as I gasp and sputter at her. “The same girl? You think they’ll all want to date me together? Avery!”
She cackles and shoves open the bathroom door. I hesitantly peek out to make sure the room is, in fact, empty.
“They love each other too much to truly let this come between them. But I also think they all might like you too much to let you go. I’ve never seen them fight over a girl before, and the bickering that happens when you’re not around is getting extreme.”