Chapter 10
CHAPTER TEN
CALEB
It’s a little after dinner time when I’m pulling into the driveway after getting back to Aston from almost a week of being away.
I used to love going out of town. Traveling to different cities to play in different arenas was always one of my favorite things to do, until Estella was born. Now, it’s my least favorite thing.
Honestly, I love the sport and the money makes it worth it, but some days I consider retiring early. I’m not sure what I would do without hockey, but I know I would figure it out. Just like every other season of life, I would settle into it.
Not bothering to pull into the garage, I park the car in the driveway, then grab my duffle bag from the passenger's seat and climb out. The house is lit up inside and a smile pulls on my lips. Tella normally goes to bed around eight or eight thirty and I’m getting home just about an hour before she should be settling in for the night.
I unlock the front door, turn the knob, and push it open.
The aroma of brownies immediately infiltrates my senses, permeating from the kitchen.
Laughter and singing mingles with the soft sound of music playing.
My curiosity is piqued, I’m drawn to it.
I kick off my shoes, drop my bag on the floor at the bottom of the stairs, and follow the sound of Mia and Tella.
My footsteps are quiet and light as I walk over the threshold into the kitchen, and I immediately pause. Neither of them notice me and my heart constricts in my chest, my throat tightens with a lump. Warmth spreads, seeping beneath my ribcage.
Mia’s back is turned toward me and she holds her arm out, bending it slightly as she holds Tella’s hand above her head.
Tella lets out a string of laughter, her hair swinging around her as she spins on her sock-clad toes on the floor.
Her apron reaches down toward her knees, fanning out as she spins once more.
Mia’s hair is pulled back in a messy bun on top of her head. I allow a moment for my gaze to wander. It travels down the length of her body, over her yoga pants, to her feet before trailing up to the side of her face as she turns slightly.
Her cheeks are tinted pink, her head dipping as she sings the next line of the song, belting it to Tella.
Tella laughs, releasing Mia’s hand as the two of them start to shake their hips to the beat.
She’s so carefree, so pure. I watch her in wonderment, leaning against the doorframe as I continue to go unnoticed.
She’s beautiful.
Mia moves away from Tella, moving her entire body as she lifts her arms above her head, and slowly turns in my direction. Her eyes are half closed and as they drift across the room, they flash to meet mine. She stops in place, her eyes widening as her mouth falls agape.
A chuckle rumbles in my chest and I push away from the doorjamb, fully entering the kitchen. “Hi, ladies.”
Mia’s face brightens and a nice shade of pink breaks out across her cheeks. “Hi,” she half croaks out, pushing stray hairs away from her face. There must have been some flour on the back of her hand because now it’s a white streak across her forehead.
“Daddy!” Tella calls out, breezing past Mia as she rushes right toward me.
I squat down so I can slide my hands under her arms and lift her into the air, spinning her around.
She giggles, her feet flying around before I stop.
I pull her close to me, burying my face in the crook of her neck, reveling in the familiar smell of her. “I missed you.”
“I missed you too, Tella,” I murmur, kissing the side of her face before squeezing her against me.
I shift her to my hip and she wraps her arms around my neck, laying her head against my shoulder.
I glance at Mia and find her watching us with puppy dog eyes—round and soft, filled with emotion.
I swallow hard over the lump lodged in my own throat. “What are you guys making?”
“Mia loves to bake, so we made brownies!” Tella exclaims, lifting her head as she wiggles in my arms. I release her, carefully letting her slide down until her feet hit the ground. She grabs my hand and tugs, pulling me over toward the stove. “Look!” She points at the glass door.
Mia comes beside us as I half bend down. As she reaches past, her shirt lifts up her side and her hip brushes against my shoulder. My breath catches and I immediately look at the stove as the light flickers on.
On the middle rack is a pan of brownies that look like they’re about ready to come out. “They look delicious,” I say, slowly standing back upright as my gaze collides with Mia’s.
“Can I have one before bed, Daddy?” Tella questions me, tugging on my hand again.
“Of course,” I smile at her, patting the top of her head.
“Can I watch TV?”
“Yep,” I say, nodding at her. “Take off your apron first, though.”
Tella pulls the string, whips it off over her head, and tosses it onto the chair at the counter before disappearing into the living room.
I slowly spin on my heel to face Mia. “I hope she was good for you.”
“Oh, yes,” she says, a smile stretching across her lips as she nods eagerly. “She’s a little spitfire, but she’s fun. She really is a great kid and I enjoy hanging out with her.”
I stare at Mia, my eyes slowly bouncing back and forth between hers before trailing up to the flour on her forehead. “You have a bit of flour on your face,” I tell her, wiping my own forehead to show her.
She rolls her lips between her teeth, lifting her hand to wipe it away. “Did I get it?” she asks me as she brushes half of it away.
“There’s still a little bit there.”
Mia wipes at it again, missing once more, leaving the tail end of the streak just above her eyebrow. “How about now?”
I shake my head, closing the distance between us.
The room shrinks as I enter her space, my toes nearing closer to hers.
She tilts her head back to look at me. My heart stumbles over itself, my breath quickening as I lift my hand to the side of her face.
She draws her bottom lip between her teeth, her nostrils flaring as I run the pad of my thumb just above her eyebrow. Her eyes fall closed at my touch.
A shiver trails down my spine as I brush away the flour, her skin warm and soft beneath my fingertip.
Mia releases her lip as my touch moves down her cheek to her jaw and lingers there, her lips parting slightly as a ragged breath escapes her.
My throat bobs as I swallow hard, the muscle in my jaw tightening.
“There,” I murmur, my voice low and hoarse as my hand lingers along the side of her face. Her eyes slowly search mine and I pick out the three flecks of amber in her left eye, peppered around her dilating pupil. I could get lost in her gaze.
The timer on the stove begins to beep, ripping me away from the moment.
I drop my hand in a rush, and take two large steps away from her in a rush.
Confusion and conflict engulf me. Mia’s eyes are wide and she spins on her heel, grabbing an oven mitt from the counter.
I turn away from her, my cheeks puffing out as I blow out a slow breath.
Mia is six years younger than me.
She is my nanny and her father is my coach.
There are so many things that are wrong about this moment, but most importantly . . .
She’s not Amelia.
I swore I’d never replace her.
Tella comes sprinting into the kitchen, sliding across the floor in her fuzzy socks and stops beside Mia. “They smell so good. Can I have mine now?”
“Not yet,” Mia tells her, her voice barely audible over the sound of the blood rushing through my veins. “I have to go, but your daddy can cut them after they cool a bit.”
I haven’t slept with anyone since Amelia. I tried dating last year and it was an absolute disaster. It’s only human and natural to feel lonely, to feel the deprivation of the comfort of another, but what the fuck is wrong with me?
I slowly turn back around to face Mia and Tella, guilt flooding me as I catch the look on Mia’s face.
There’s embarrassment etched in her features, but there’s something else lingering beneath it.
The inside corners of her eyebrows are turned downwards and she gives me that stare again, with her eyes round and soft.
“Mia.” My voice is strained as I speak her name. I clench my teeth together as a myriad of emotions rush through me. I’m so goddamn conflicted, but this can’t happen. I will not let this happen. “Thank you for watching T. I’ve got it from here.”
Her throat bobs and she gives me a curt nod. “I just need to grab my bag.”
“Okay. We will see you tomorrow.”
She stares back at me, her expression void of any emotion as she straightens her spine. “Have a good night.”
She drops her gaze from mine, skirting past me as she heads toward the hallway. Just as she’s about to step through the doorway, I find myself glancing over my shoulder at her, calling out after her.
“Mia.”
She pauses, looking back at me. “Yeah?”
I swallow over the lump in my throat. “Drive safe.”
Her eyes linger once more as she gives me another nod before disappearing down the hallway.
I let out a breath, my lungs deflating as I turn back toward the stove, my eyes traveling over the counter.
Tella sits down on the floor, rubbing her eyes as she yawns.
The sound of Mia’s footsteps are quiet as she comes back down the stairs and I close my eyes as I hear the front door open and close.
A part of me regrets the way I just iced her out, but it’s for her own good.
She’ll thank me one day.
I reach for the knife block on the counter when I see a bag of flour she forgot to put away.
Instinctively, I pick it up, carrying it over to the pantry, when I realize it isn’t a bag of flour from my house.
My eyebrows pull together and I read the front—certified gluten free version.
I pull open the pantry door, my eyes scanning the snacks that I told her to help herself to and it doesn’t look like she’s touched any.
My eyebrows pull together and I find a spot on the shelf for the almond flour before heading back to the stove. I grab a knife, cutting the brownie to hand a piece to Tella. “How does it taste?”
“Good,” Tella says, nodding as she chews and swallows a piece. “Mia said they’re different from regular brownies because she can’t eat gruben but she promised they wouldn’t taste bad.”
“Gruben?” I question her, chuckling softly. “You mean gluten.”
Tella nods again. “Yeah, that’s what she said.”
I grab one of the brownies, popping it into my mouth as I glance back at the pantry, making a mental note. Whether it’s an allergy or not, it’s clear she can’t eat it and I need to make sure she has options here for when she stays.
Mia might not be my responsibility, but while she’s here taking care of my daughter, the least I can do is make sure she’s taken care of too.