Chapter 15
CHAPTER FIFTEEN
MIA
I’m acutely aware of how close Caleb is standing next to me and it’s the only thing my brain can focus on at this moment.
We’re both standing along the railing, watching Tella as she canters around the arena, but Caleb is standing a little closer than I expected. His warmth radiates from his arm, which is just nearly brushing against mine.
I attempt to even out my breathing, knowing I need to get myself under control here.
It’s just Caleb. My boss, Tella’s father.
I know I’m delusional, feeling this magnetic pull toward him, but goddammit, I can’t help it.
It’s the little things that keep piling up.
The way he stocked his pantry with gluten free foods, the way he remembered my coffee order.
The way he asked me to come to Tella’s riding lesson, even though I should have just gone home.
I don’t think he means anything by the way he looks at me, but my brain keeps transforming it into something more than it is. Caleb’s a nice man, even if he may present a cold exterior to others sometimes. It’s nothing more than him being friendly.
And him standing this close is nothing more than standing next to me while we watch Tella.
“So, do you still ride?” Caleb asks, breaking through my thoughts about him.
Blush creeps across my cheeks and I don’t dare look at him. “Sometimes, but it’s hard to find the time anymore. Since I don’t have a rideable horse, I usually ride my best friend’s or her brother’s horse if I’m in town.”
Caleb is silent for a beat. “Does her brother have a farm?”
“Yeah,” I explain, nodding my head as I chance a quick glance at him from the corner of my eye.
He doesn’t look at me, keeping his gaze trained on Tella.
But the muscle in his jaw tightens. “Well, it’s their family farm.
There was some extra stall space in their barn and he was kind enough to let me move Hank there for free. ”
“That’s nice of him.” The muscle twitches again. “Are the two of you close then?”
“Willow and me?” I ask. “Oh yes, we’ve been best friends for a long time.”
“No,” he says, his voice low and icy. “You and the brother.”
I half snort, shaking my head. “Oh, no.” I clear my throat. “I mean, we’re friends, I guess.”
“Hm,” he says, letting out a breath, his shoulders relaxing. He slowly turns his head to look at me, his gaze immediately crashing into mine. “But not close friends?”
I swallow roughly, my stomach flipping over itself. “No.”
He slowly nods, his eyes lingering on mine before he turns back to watch Tella.
She slows her horse from a canter to a trot then to a walk as she begins cooling him down.
“I think she’s about done,” he says, his voice still low.
He doesn’t move at first, his gaze transfixed on his daughter.
“Amelia was afraid of horses,” he whispers, his eyebrows tugging together. “At least, I think she was.”
“They are huge animals and can be intimidating,” I offer, my voice quiet, matching the same volume as his. “Tella is a very talented rider for her age, though.”
“Sometimes I hate that she rides,” he admits, his head cocking to the side as he looks at me. The back of his hand brushes against mine, sending an electrical current up the length of my arm. My heart stumbles over itself. “I can’t help but feel like I’m putting her in such a dangerous position.”
My heart pounds harder against my ribcage as his knuckles lightly graze mine. The first time could pass for an accident, but a second time? My mind swims. I shouldn’t do it, shouldn’t chance it.
The tips of my fingers twitch and extend backward, lightly skimming the sides of his.
Caleb inhales sharply through his nostrils, the sound subtle enough that if I weren’t paying attention, I would have missed it.
My heart and lungs refuse to regulate themselves, but I ignore it.
Time is momentarily suspended as I wait for him to make a move away from me.
His fingers move a fraction of an inch, pressing into the spaces between my own.
“Come on guys!” Tella calls to the two of us as she spins Sodapop around and starts walking toward the gate.
I immediately retreat, pulling my hand away from his, and I take a step back away from the fencing around the arena.
Caleb doesn’t move at first, his eyes slowly meeting mine as he turns around to face me.
His gaze is intense and my lips part, the tension between us thick enough you could cut it with a knife.
And then he ducks his head, breaking eye contact, and walks past me, heading toward the gate where Tella is.
I fill my lungs with air, closing my eyes while I hold the breath, then release it.
I give my head a swift shake, attempting to regulate my nervous system before I turn around to follow them.
Caleb is standing by the gate, holding Sodapop as Tella dismounts.
He smiles down at his daughter and my heart grows inside my chest as I watch her walk up to him.
He grabs her hand, leading her pony and her back toward the barn. He glances over his shoulder, his eyes surveying the landscape until he finds me. His expression immediately relaxes, a ghost of a smile cresting his lips and damn my heart for kicking into overdrive again.
And damn me for not being immune to this man.
“T, why don’t you go get cleaned up and change while I start dinner?” Caleb says to Tella as we walk up to the front of the house. He unlocks the front door, holding it open for Tella and me to walk inside. Tella kicks off her shoes and heads up the stairs, leaving Caleb and me alone.
I turn back to look at Caleb as he shuts the door and moves to face me.
“I’m just going to grab my bag before I head home.”
Caleb stares at me for a moment, tilting his head. “I know this is all temporary, but would it be better if you just stayed?” His eyes widen slightly. “I mean, instead of going back and forth.”
My breath catches in my throat and I tuck a hair behind my ear while I look anywhere but him. “I don’t want to impose and interrupt your alone time with Tella.”
He swallows roughly and rakes a hand through his tousled hair. “No, no that makes sense,” he says, his voice low as he nods. “I—uh. Tella likes you and it just seems like it would be easier.” He pauses, letting out a shallow breath. “I could still have my time with her with you here.”
My nostrils flare, my heart pitter pattering beneath my ribcage. “I’ll think about it.”
“Okay,” he says softly, shoving his hands into the front pockets of his jeans.
His eyes slowly search mine. “Thanks for coming to her lesson today. I know it meant a lot to her . . . and it was nice to have someone to talk to.” He clears his throat and shifts his weight on his feet.
“For so long, it’s just been Tella and me. ”
His last comment hurts my heart. He’s not completely alone. He has family, he has friends, but I know what he means. I know what is lingering beneath the words he actually speaks.
“Thank you for inviting me along,” I tell him, my voice quiet as I give him a small smile. “I’m always here if you ever want to talk about anything.” I take a breath, swallowing over the lump forming in my throat. “You’re not alone, Caleb. You have a lot of people who care about you.”
He pulls his hands from his pocket, taking a step closer. His throat bobs, eyes searching mine. “What about you?”
My heart climbs into my throat. “Well, yes. I care about you.”
“No.” He slowly shakes his head—another inch disappearing between us. “Who cares about you?”
Every cell in my body freezes. “I—I—” My eyebrows tug together. “What do you mean?”
“The other day,” he says softly, his voice dropping lower. He takes another step closer so we’re standing toe to toe. He lifts his hand, his finger crooking beneath my chin as he tilts it upwards. “You said you have to look out for you.”
“We were talking about my celiac disease . . .” My voice trails off and I attempt to ignore the tugging feeling inside my chest. He’s digging too deep, searching for answers I don’t want to share with him.
His thumb rests against my chin and he slowly moves it, stroking my skin in the softest, most tender way. “You’re not alone either, pup.” His lips part, a shallow breath escaping him. “You have people who care about you. People who want to look out for you.”
I draw in my bottom lip, dragging it between my teeth as I stare back at him. His nostrils flare and the intensity of his gaze burns through my body. He drops his eyes down to my mouth and my insides melt.
“Mia . . .” he practically whispers, his voice strained, as if he’s in pain. His eyes fall shut for a moment as the tension sizzles in the air between us. My stomach flutters and as he opens his eyes again, I’m met with a fire burning brightly inside his irises.
“I don’t know how to act around you.” A sigh escapes him, torment mixing with the lust.
“I don’t know either,” I admit, my voice barely audible.
He searches my eyes with desperation as if he wants me to tell him to stop. Like he wants me to be the one to shake some sense into him. I can’t—not when I need this just as badly as he does.
He tilts his head to the side, his face dropping closer to mine. His warm breath drifts across my face and I catch one last look of the flames of desire burning inside his gaze. Just as my eyelids begin to flutter shut . . .
“Daddy!” Tella comes bounding down the stairs. She sounds like a herd of elephants and that’s all it takes for reality to come crashing down around us. In a fraction of a second, Caleb’s hand drops away from my face and he takes an exaggerated step backward. “Can I help you with dinner?”
Holy shit. I almost kissed my boss, who my father also coaches.
“Of course, T,” he says, half choking out the words as he forces a smile onto his face.
“Mia! Are you going to have dinner with us too?”
Caleb doesn’t look at me and I see that damn muscle in his jaw tic again. He adjusts his glasses, glancing at the kitchen, as if he’s planning his escape. He’s visibly uncomfortable and I feel like it’s my fault.
I almost let him kiss me . . . and now I can’t help but wonder if he would have regretted doing it.
“Not tonight, but I’ll see you tomorrow,” I tell Tella, smiling at her before turning to the front door. “Have a good night, guys.”
“Bye, Mia!” Tella calls out to me, skipping past Caleb as she heads into the kitchen.
He slowly turns around, pain etched across his face as he meets my gaze. He clears his throat. “Drive safe.”
I give him a curt nod before slipping through the front door. I don’t bother turning back around to get my bag. Instead, I head out to my car and head home with nothing but regret building in the pit of my stomach.
I should have stopped him before we got to that moment.
Because that moment—it simply isn’t meant for us.