Chapter 46 Winnie
WINNIE
Candice drives us straight to the airport from my parents’ house.
She’ll take a flight back to Montana soon, and Jonah and I will go to New York City, where the Morning Joe is filmed.
I’m still in shock, and reeling from the final confrontation with my parents.
But more than that, I’m happy. Happy to be out of my parents’ house. Happy to be back with Jonah.
I give Candice a long hug in front of her gate.
“Thank you so much for coming to get me,” I say into her neck.
“I’ll always have your back, Win. You know that.” My best friend steps back and looks at me with an assessing eye. “That fake tan is really, really orange. I hope you can scrub it off by tomorrow morning.”
I laugh. “Oh my God, you’re so right. I cannot go on TV looking like this. Why can’t my mother ever choose a flattering shade?” I hold out my streaky hand and we look at it together.
“It’s so bad,” she giggles.
“I’m really grateful you were assigned as my pen pal all those years ago,” I tell her. “Really, really grateful.”
“Back at you, babe.”
We hug again, and then she gets into her boarding line, leaving Jonah and I alone, waiting for our own flight. I turn to him and gaze at him with what I’m sure are hopeful, puppy eyes. He may have come to get me, but what if he’s upset with me?
“None of that,” Jonah says, caressing my cheek with his thumb. “I want to see you happy.”
“I am happy.” I lean into his touch.
“Why the big, sad eyes then?”
“Are you mad at me? For leaving? The more I think about it, the stupider it seems. I should have talked to you first.” Guilt swirls in my stomach. Jonah and Candice had to go out of their way to come and rescue me. “I let my parents manipulate me into leaving. I let them—”
“No, Winnie,” Jonah interrupts me. “You are not to blame for their manipulations. They controlled your every action for years. It’s going to take more than a month and change away from them to unlearn all of that.”
I sit with that for a moment, digesting Jonah’s words. Still, something else is bothering me.
“I was supposed to be the one saving you this time around,” I say softly. “That’s why I went back in the first place.”
“Winnie, you’ve already saved me.” My husband smiles down at me.
“I know, I know, with my money.” I wave my hand.
“No, honey, with you. Before I met you, I was a hollowed out husk of a man. I was riddled with anxiety and fear, unhappy and lonely in my self-imposed exile—in my preemptive grief. I had forgotten how to live, until you brought me back to life.”
“You could have done all of it without me.”
Jonah chuckles. “No, I really, really couldn’t have.”
“Well, I’m glad I got to do some rescuing after all.
” I pull him in for a kiss and when our mouths meet, it feels like coming home.
Like coming back to myself. His powerful arms wrap around me, enveloping me in warmth and strength.
I feel the truth of his words as his taste fills my mouth. I saved him as much as he saved me.
I break away from the kiss and say, “Now, tell me about this insane plan to go on the Morning Joe.”
Preparing to be on television isn’t all that different from pageant prep I think, as the makeup artist adds some final touches to my face. It’s more than I’d wear on a normal day, but it’s needed to make sure the camera picks it up. In the chair next to me, Jonah is having his hair styled.
“Any final tips for being on camera?” he asks me.
“Try to smile, or at least keep a pleasant expression on your face. And try not to let your face tell everyone what you’re thinking, no matter what they ask you.
Even the smallest expression can be picked apart.
Kate will probably ask us the most invasive questions, and Genevieve is likely to be the most skeptical.
Taylor is the least likely to give us any problems.” Last night, I watched about a hundred Morning Joe interviews, trying to assess how each of the hosts asks questions.
We know the general topics that they’ll cover, but not the specific questions. So we need to be ready for anything.
“Are you sure this is okay?” Jonah asks. “Are you sure you’re willing to open up about everything?”
“It’s a little late for that now.”
The makeup artist pauses and assesses her work. “More lipstick,” she mutters.
“Say the word, and we’ll leave.”
I know Jonah is serious. If I get cold feet, he’ll carry me out the door. But I feel oddly calm about it all—exposing my parents for who they are is going to be satisfying. Cleansing. Like washing away an infection so that the deep, deep wound can finally fully heal.
“I’m looking forward to it actually,” I reassure Jonah.
I smile in the mirror. I scrubbed off as much of the tan as I could last night and the makeup artist covered the leftover orange patches well.
I’m wearing a denim dress with a wide collar, slightly puffed sleeves and a flared skirt.
And my pink boots. It only feels right to have a piece of Star Mountain on stage with me.
“You’re on in five,” one of the production assistants calls out to us.
Jonah and I hop out of our seats and get into position.
We can see the stage, and watch as the three hosts finish up their discussion of a recent celebrity autobiography.
Then, they cut to ads, and we’re ushered on stage, and positioned at one end of the table across from the hosts.
They let Jonah and I sit together at least, and I give his hand a squeeze.
Genevieve nods at us and Taylor offers an encouraging smile, and then we’re on, the stage lights coming back on and the cameras rolling.
“Welcome back to the Morning Joe,” Kate says.
“We’re joined this morning by special guests Winnie Grant and Jonah Smith.
Winnie is best known as Miss Alabama and for her social media presence.
She disappeared nearly two months ago, without a word to her own family about where she went.
This marks her first public appearance since then. Jonah Smith is her husband.”
I feel Jonah stiffen beside me and I will him to keep his face neutral. Yes, Kate’s reading of the facts make me look bad, but it’s okay. Their job is to stir up drama—and honestly, my story is a dramatic one. It’s going to make for great TV.
“Yes, this is my first public appearance in a while. And I couldn’t be more excited to be here.” I give Kate a warm smile, which she doesn’t return.
“You two are newlyweds, right?” This from Genevieve, who raises a brow at us. She cuts an imposing figure in all black, with her ice blonde hair cut into a sharp bob.
“Yes,” Jonah says. “We’re still in the honeymoon phase.”
“Did you two get married for love? Or for some other reason?” Genevieve isn’t pulling any punches with these questions, and I feel myself floundering, struggling to find the right answer.
I don’t want to lie, but I also don’t want to say that I enticed Jonah into marriage to the tune of one hundred thousand dollars.
It makes me look bad, and it makes him look even worse.
I don’t want to ruin his reputation like my parents threatened to do all along.
“No, we didn’t,” Jonah says after a moment.
All three of the hosts looked shocked to hear him say it so baldly, and there are a few gasps from the audience.
But Jonah plunges ahead. “In fact, we didn’t even like one another the first time we met.
But we stayed married because of love. Because once we got to know each other we couldn’t help it, even though it was the opposite of everything we planned.
” He looks at me, a warm smile on his face.
“It was impossible for me not to love her, in the end.”
I can’t help but smile back at him, even though I’m supposed to be looking at the talk show hosts and coming up with my own answer to their question.
“Well, you two certainly look like you’re in love,” Taylor says. “But if you didn’t like one another what ended up bringing you to the altar?”
I wince internally. It seems like we won’t be avoiding that question. Jonah looks at me, and I give him a small nod.
“Winnie needed money from her trust fund, and she needed to be married to get it. And I needed money for…” He trails off and swallows.
I rest a hand on his knee and hope it reassures him, hope it communicates that he can share as much or as little as he’d like.
“My mom survived breast cancer. And like many Americans, her insurance didn’t cover everything.
I needed money to help my family. To give back to the woman who gave me life. To do my part as her son.”
It’s the perfect thing to say. Kate starts smiling and Taylor even wipes her eye. In the audience, a few people start clapping, and one woman even shouts, “Now that’s a man!”
Only Genevieve remains unmoved, though I can see her casting an eye over Jonah. There’s more to him—and to us—than she originally thought.
“Well, that’s certainly a noble reason for needing money, Jonah. But what about you, Winnie? Why did you need it so badly?” Genevieve looks directly at me when she says this.
“And is the money and the marriage connected to why you ran away in the first place?” Kate adds.
Jonah grabs my hand and interlaces our fingers, because he knows that no matter how I answer these questions, I’ll be baring some part of my soul, of my past, on live TV.
Exposing my parents as abusive and controlling was never part of my plan when I quit social media.
I never wanted the world to know about everything they did to me.
It made me feel ashamed, deep down, because their treatment was evidence that they didn’t love me.
And for a parent not to love their child—well, there must have been something wrong with me for that to happen.