Chapter 46 Winnie #2
But now I know that there’s nothing wrong with me, and everything wrong with them. As I open my mouth to tell the world about my past, I find that I’m more than happy to share. This isn’t my shame any longer. It’s theirs.
“I needed money because my parents sued me after I left. And I was worried that they might send someone after me, or try to get court ordered conservatorship of me. I needed to be prepared to fight them with everything I had.” My voice is strong, but a note of vulnerability flickers in it.
“And I didn’t run away from my parents. I escaped them. ”
Gasps echo from the audience once more, and I can tell that my bold choice of words is making an impact.
“Say more about what you mean by the word escape.” Genevieve props a hand under her chin and stares at me.
Beside her, Kate nods, and Taylor says, “It’s a strong word.”
“Every move I made in my parents’ home was watched and critiqued. Every choice I had was taken away from me. And every penny I earned on social media and through pageants went to my parents. When I say escape, I mean that I wouldn’t have survived if I had stayed.”
Taylor looks shocked, Kate looks saddened, and Genevieve is giving me a smile as wide as the Cheshire Cat. She knows this is going to make for excellent television, and she can’t wait to ask me more.
“I am thankful every day that you did get out,” Jonah says. His voice is quiet and I know he likely just means it for me, but the microphone picks it up, of course. I’m sure if I looked at the audience, I’d see women swooning in their seats.
From there, Kate, Taylor, and Genevieve pepper me with questions, asking me about my relationship with my parents, my childhood, and how I got out.
I don’t mince my words, but I also don’t tell them everything.
I make sure they know how abusive my mom and dad were, but I leave out some of the more horrific details.
No one needs to know about the moments where my mom denied me food before going on stage, and no one needs to know about the fight I had with my dad before Jonah and Candice came to my rescue.
I tell them all about the financial abuse, and how hard I worked while both of my parents reaped the rewards. This gets sympathy from Taylor, but only hard stares from Genevieve and Kate.
“Why did you let them take all that money from you?” Kate asks. “Why let it go on for so long?”
Beside me, I feel Jonah tense once more, and I know that my valiant, protective husband is one second away from coming to my defense. And honestly, Kate’s question is rude, and it does piss me off, but it’s her job to dig into uncomfortable places.
“Because I was a child when I started working for them, and there was no one else to protect me. Because by the time I realized what they were doing and how wrong it was, the abuse had been going on for years. Because for a long time, I thought I could get them to love me if I did everything they asked of me. Every child wants their parents’ approval and love.
” I shake as I say these words, as I lay the darkest parts of me out for the world to see.
“And do you still?” Genevieve smiles at me now, and I can tell I’ve won her over.
“Honestly?” I glance at Jonah, and see pride written across his face. “No. I have everything I ever wanted right here beside me. I never plan on contacting my parents again, and I hope they stay far away from me.”
“Well, I think I speak for all three of us when I say I hope they leave you alone. You’ve been through more than enough.” The audience cheers, signaling that I’ve managed to win them over too.
“So what’s next for you two love birds?” Taylor asks, right before the segment comes to an end.
“I just want to go back to Star Mountain, hug my friends, kiss my horse, and fall more in love with my husband. I’ll figure out the rest as it comes.”
Outside of the studio, still flush with energy from the show, I launch myself into Jonah’s arms and pepper his face with kisses.
“That went absolutely perfect! And you were amazing. You had every woman in the room swooning over you by the end of it.”
“All I did was speak the truth,” Jonah says gruffly.
It’s so like him—honorable, honest, without any artifice.
What you see is what you get with Jonah.
Before coming to Star Mountain, I spent so much of my life pretending to be someone I wasn’t up on stage.
It’s no wonder I hated him at first, and then quickly fell head over heels in love with him.
He was everything I wasn’t, and everything I wanted to be.
“You were the real star, Win.”
“Oh yeah?” I do a little twirl in front of him and wink.
“Not because of any of that. You look gorgeous, but it was your brave words that won people over. Your courage. Your honesty. I’ve never been more proud to have you as my wife than when we were up on that stage together.”
“You’re going to make me cry.” Truth be told, I’m already sniffling.
“No crying.” He wipes a tear off of my cheek.
I nod and smile up at him. “Let’s take a photo. I want to post one on my social media accounts. Nothing too elaborate and I’m not writing a caption but…I’m ready for people to see me. The real me, this time. And I want you there by my side.”
“Hard launching the relationship, are we?” He smirks.
I gently swat his arm. “We’re married!”
“Oh really? Are we?”
“Yes! Now get over here and let me show you how to take a good selfie.” I tug him into the frame of the shot, and position us just so, both smiling. At the last moment, though, right as I take the photo, Jonah leans in and kisses my cheek.
The result couldn’t be more perfect. I post it and then close out of my apps, and decide not to waste one moment caring about the comments or likes. I just take Jonah’s arm and together we walk out in the city.