Chapter Thirty-Seven Maksim
With all the turmoil of my childhood and teenage years, I thought I’d seen hard times. I thought I’d been to hell and back. I’d known true suffering.
But I was a fool.
I didn’t truly know the burning flames of agony until Sarah walked out on me. There was no relief to my suffering. The only solace came with drug induced sleep, and even then, I was tormented with dreams of her.
She’d blocked my number.
She’d called security on me at her work.
She’d refused the delivery of flowers with cards filled with my regret and penance.
Yesterday, I’d been refused my last connection to her when Hudson had politely met my car outside her building to ask me to not drive by anymore. To my surprise, he hadn’t threatened me bodily harm, and it wasn’t because he knew I was a Bratva boss.
“You royally and epically fucked up, man,” Hudson said as he stood outside my SUV.
“I’m aware of t-that.”
After glancing around, he said, “I just want you to know I’m on your side.”
I furrowed my brows at him. “You are?”
“Archie and I both are.”
“Does Sarah know?”
His blue eyes widened. “Are you fucking kidding me? Of course she doesn’t. She’s barely been talking to us. I can’t start building your image back anytime soon, or I’ll lose her myself.”
“But why? Why would her best friend from childhood be on my side?” I questioned suspiciously.
“It goes without saying that what you did was morally and ethically bankrupt.”
Scowling, I replied, “T-Thanks for reminding me.”
“The thing is you didn’t do it out of malice or to get your sick jollies or even out of being psychotic.
“I’m glad you can see that.”
He winked. “I’m a psychiatrist, remember?”
“For children.”
He waved a hand. “That doesn’t mean I can’t identify crazy adults.”
“T-Thanks…I think.”
“Because of my job, I see you better than Sarah does. I see why you made the poor choices you did. You might be the Beast, but deep down, you’re just a scared little boy desperate for love and acceptance.”
With a growl, I replied, “Fuck. You.”
“Not. the. Enemy,” he shot back.
A frustrated breath rushed from my lips. “Fine. You’re right.” I jerked my hand through my hair before pinning him with a pleading look. “Just t-tell me what t-to d-do. If I have to g-give my life for her, I’ll do it.
Hudson’s expression softened. “I know you would. No one has ever fought for her like I have. Like she deserves.” He gave me a pointed look. “Like you are.”
“And I’ll keep d-doing it.”
“That’s why I’ll do whatever I can to get the two of you back together.”
“She’s cut me off everywhere.”
“Not everywhere.” When I furrowed my brows at him, he said, “Tomorrow night’s the Night to Remember dance, isn’t it?”
While I’d wanted to forget, my sweet date wouldn’t let me. She’d sent me a text with the color of her dress so I could get her the right flowers. Although I imagined I wouldn’t be welcome by anyone but her, I couldn’t let her down.
“Yeah. It is.”
“Sarah doesn’t think you’re going to show. In fact, she’s guilted me into being Molly’s date.”
“Fuck,” I muttered.
“I love Sammy like he’s my own, but I work with kids and teens all day. The last thing I want to do is spend my Friday night with them.”
“They’re not t-teens.”
“I know. But a lot of the dates and volunteers are.”
“Does Sarah know you how you feel?”
Hudson snorted. “Yes. She called me a selfish tool.”
A much needed laugh burst from my lips. “T-That’s my girl. Always t-telling it like it is.”
“I’ll be there tomorrow night, but you better show up.”
“I will. I swear.”
With a nod, Hudson replied, “Good. Now get the fuck out of here before Sarah thinks I’ve changed allegiances.”
“But you have,” I protested.
He rolled his eyes. “She can’t know that.”
“All right. I’ll see you tomorrow night.”
As I told Oleg to drive, I had more hope within me than I had in days.