Chapter Thirty-Eight Sarah
It had been a week since I’d seen Maksim. A week spent in a hellish, zombie-like existence. A week crying myself to sleep. A week dodging phone calls from not only Maksim, but family and friends. A week of refusing to accept delivery of flowers with handwritten apologies and professions of love.
A week of feeling like I’d had my heart ripped from my body and then trampled on the ground.
But life went on even when I would’ve rather hidden out under the covers with Voxie and a bottle of Merlot. It took everything I had within me to put on a happy face for my patients. Of course, the older ones could see through me, and more than one had asked if I was okay.
With my hermit-like existence, I shouldn’t have been too surprised when I walked out of my office with my patient to see Hudson standing at the counter talking to Tara, his face drawn with worry.
After initially breaking down on him and coming clean about what had happened, I’d been refusing his calls and texts until yesterday when I’d requested for him to tell Maksim to stop driving by my place after I got off work.
I knew it was only a matter of time before he turned up either at work, my apartment, or my parents’ house.
The moment he saw me he transformed his face from concern to over-the-top happiness. “Hey Whit-Whit.”
I gave him a weak smile. “Hey, give me just a minute.”
Once I got my patient to her parents, I went back into the reception area and over to the counter. “What are you doing here?” I asked.
“It’s your lunchtime, right?” he asked.
“Yes.”
He waved a bag of food from my favorite sandwich stand. “I brought your fave.”
As my stomach recoiled at the smell, I replied, “Thanks, but I’m not hungry.”
He and Tara exchanged a look. “You need to eat,” Tara urged.
“I’m fine,” I replied to her. I gave Hudson a grateful smile. “Thanks for bringing it.”
An exasperated sigh escaped his lips. “You look like hell.”
“Thanks. I feel like it, too.”
Hudson’s soft eyes appraised me. “Have you talked to him?”
Unable to speak, I merely shook my head. “Don’t you think you should try?” he asked.
My eyes bulged in horror. “Yeah, I’m not talking about this with you right here.”
Whirling around, I stalked down the hall to my office. I didn’t bother slamming the door since I knew both Hudson and Tara were close on my heels. When through the doorway, I said, “Please tell me you were joking earlier.”
He shook his head. “We all fuck up in relationships. I have a personal gift for it. Just ask Archie if you don’t believe me. It’s a miracle we’re still together.”
“Have you ever deceived a guy by pretending to be two people at the same time?”
“Not exactly.”
Bobbing her head, Tara said, “I mean, I’m totally two different people when I’m on my cycle.”
Pinching the bridge of my nose, I countered, “This is not about acting like a bitch for a couple of days a week. It’s about complete deception.”
“Which he felt like he had to do so you would give him a chance,” she argued.
Waving my finger between them, I said, “I’m seriously thinking of revoking your best friend statuses.”
“Because we want you to be happy?” Hudson asked.
I threw up my hands in frustration. “Because you’re defending Maksim’s actions.”
“Neither one of us is saying that,” Tara argued.
“Yes, you are. For fuck’s sake, you’re encouraging me to talk to him and give him another chance!”
“People forgive those they love for all kinds of horrendous things,” Hudson reasoned.
Crossing my arms over my chest, I countered, “And you and I are the ones usually dragging them for being idiots with no self-worth or moral compass.”
“Well, I stand corrected for my role in debasing those relationships, and I stand by the fact that love makes you do crazy things, Whit, Whit.”
“I don’t love him.”
While Hudson rolled his eyes, Tara argued, “Jesus, Sarah, even I love the man. Considering how rich and handsome he is, he should be a total dick. But he’s not.
He’s helped you put the pieces back together for Silas and your parents.
He even agreed to take a girl with special needs to a dance.
He took freakin’ allergy shots so you could have Voxie with you. ”
“I’m well aware of what he’s done, but none of that excuses him deceiving me.”
“He is worth loving!” Tara shouted.
Hudson nodded. “Deep down, you know we’re right. It’s okay to be hurt and angry for a while, but please, please don’t throw away happiness with both your hands.”
“There’s no doubt in my mind that Maksim will spend the rest of his life making this up to you,” Tara said in a softer tone than before.
With my frayed nerves threatening to snap, I shook my head. “Please. Just go.” At their hesitation, I swiped my eyes. “If you love me like you say you do, then please just give me some space.”
With an agonized sigh, Hudson nodded. “Will you promise to text me the instant you’re ready to talk?”
“I promise.”
He leaned over and kissed my cheek. “I love you, Whit Whit.”
Although I wanted nothing more than to be alone, I pulled him into my arms. “I love you more,” I whispered.
After giving him a squeeze, I pulled out of the embrace. When I turned to Tara, she pursed her lips. “Do I get a hug?”
“With your attitude, probably not.”
“Bitch,” she muttered as she jerked me into a bear hug. “You’re a pain in my ass, but I love you more than my luggage.”
I snorted at the reference to one of our favorite movies, Steel Magnolias. It was the first time I’d remotely laughed in a week. “I love you, too.”
Her expression sobered. “I’m here whenever you need me.”
“I know, and I appreciate that.”
She then smacked my ass playfully before leaving Hudson and me alone. “You know I’m not going away. I’m going to keep harassing you until you let me back in.”
“I would be mad if you didn’t.”
He smiled. “Archie sends his love as well, and he wants you to know that you will never, ever find a man as handsome, rich, or as good in the sack as Maksim.”
“How kind of him to remind me?”
“Just keep pushing, Sarah. Push for Maksim like you’ve always done for Silas and Sammy and your parents.”
“I’ll try.”
And then he left as well while I cried through my lunch yet again.