Chapter 20
I’m trapped in this endless nightmare as the days pass me by, and yet, watching Isla leave with Astrid was the painful truth staring me in the face the day I saw her eyeing my file on her desk.
I stand on the side where people lose more than they gain, and she remains amongst those who refuse to let the boundary between right and wrong crumble.
Two sides of the same coin.
Destined to remain glued to one another, yet live our lives apart.
It’s been three weeks since I gave her the space she wanted.
Three weeks of camping in my car, watching her lights flicker on and off inside her house.
Three weeks of following her to and from work, making sure she’s safe.
Three weeks of agonising over my shifting obsession.
Three weeks of breaking into her home when she sleeps, making sure her prescription remains filled, then walking myself to her bed and sliding in beside her and leaving before she wakes.
Three. Torturous. Weeks.
Watching her undress.
Watching her touch herself, wishing it was me.
Watching her want what I can’t give her.
Not fully.
Emmett tells me I’m being insane, but I think he’s just grateful I haven’t asked him to join me in a chase from which we will return empty-handed.
It’s day twenty-five, and she’s about to slip between her sheets, so I make my way through her front door with the copy I had made of her key. She’s sent Astrid to her Brighton house with a few cops camped outside for her safety.
At least it makes her feel better.
But what puts me at ease is knowing my guys are there too.
Like clockwork, the lights upstairs switch off, and I’m left in the darkness downstairs in her kitchen.
I open her fridge and it’s almost bare. I spent the last few weeks at Veridis deep into research with my tech team about Purileen, and it looks like she hasn’t had much to eat in that time.
I’m about to head upstairs when I spot her medicine container on the counter.
The pills tap lightly on the stone counter as I empty and count them, sliding them back into the container one by one.
Fifteen.
She hasn’t been taking her pills.
“How long have you been sneaking in?” Her voice alone is enough to make my cock harden.
Turning slowly to face her, I clench my jaw harder to stop myself from smiling, at least for now.
The tattered edges of her shirt hang over her bare shoulder, the dark ink swirling up her legs and disappearing beneath the once black shirt, now a dull, faded grey.
“Long enough to know you’ve stopped taking your pills.”
She stares at me, and I wish I could freeze time.
“I think you need to leave,” she says, crossing her arms, the outline of her bare breasts beneath her shirt making the blood rush from my head to the other one between my legs.
“Why haven’t you responded to my messages?”
“I’m not a booty call, Malik.”
I chuckle, stepping closer to her. “No, you’re not. There is something you want from me. Something carnal that only I can give you.”
She narrows her eyes. “No, I don’t.”
“Is that why you’ve been watching porn and touching yourself, wishing it was me?”
Her eyes widen as she uncrosses her arms. “How dare you—”
“It’s nothing to be ashamed of, Isla, wishing it were you being blindfolded, tied up, muzzled and fucked.” Her mouth opens, but before she speaks, I snatch her jaw in my hand. “Am I right?”
She whimpers, her nails digging into my arms as she rises on her toes.
“Is that among your confessions, Little Nycto? That you crave to be used, paraded, then worshipped?”
The fire in her eyes blazes in hues of green and gold. She’s fighting. Harder than she’s ever fought before.
“You see, I’ve been watching you and noting all the parts of the videos you watch that drive you further into that place you’ve labelled as immoral. You fear it because you think there is something wrong with you for wanting it.”
I slip my hand beneath her shirt and find the waistband of her panties, forcing my way into them.
“And you know only a savage, ferocious criminal could give it to you exactly the way you want.”
When I plunge two fingers into her pussy, her needy moans are like naked, unapologetic confessions of desire and obsession.
But I’m not ready to give her what she wants yet.
I let her go, stepping back as she whimpers from the loss.
She was so ready to get lost in her thirst, so ready to forget the words she spoke three weeks ago.
“Did you forget you told me to leave?”
“You’re such a fucking asshole,” she spits, pushing me, and I adjust myself, the erection in my trousers now extremely uncomfortable. “Do not come back here.”
I hold up the key in my hand and smile. “I’ll be back in an hour.
” I lean into her space, hovering just enough to brush the skin on her cheek with my lips when I speak.
“If you touch yourself between now and when I return, I will know, and for every stroke, I will make you come over and over again until you feel pain.”
“It’s been three weeks and you still don’t fucking have anything for me,” I say into the phone, pressing it against my ear.
“We’re working everyone to the bone on this one, but their firewalls are just too strong. The phone has been encrypted like it belongs to a fucking politician,” KaTastrophe says in a hushed tone.
I’ve never met her, only ever spoke to her over the phone in the eight years since I hired her to work as my hacker, and even after all this time, she refuses to meet in person or tell me her real name. She’s private, and I respect that.
“We’ll keep doing what we can from our end, but it’ll help if you can at least get me some answers the old-fashioned way.”
“You think we haven’t tried? I’ve burnt the man’s skin, taken almost all his toes and fingers. There’s not much left of him.”
She laughs, and it sounds like she enjoys the little details I give her. “The only thing we were able to find about Purileen is that it was developed years ago. Whatever it is, they don’t want anyone to know about it.”
“Thanks, Kat. How are we doing with security scans?” I’ve learnt to never expect anything when I ask, so when she tells me they’ve found nothing matching the description I gave her, or been able to recover old security footage from the orphanage, I close my eyes and rest my head against the car seat.
The phone beeps when she hangs up, and within a second, it chimes again.
Ezra
You’re late.
Me
Nope, I’m here.
We never meet at his place anymore. Ever since he became a father, he’s been careful with who he allows around his family.
I’d be the same.
“So?”
The puddles on the silent street shine, casting a reflection on his face as he keeps his hands in the pockets of his slacks. “I have at least one piece of news that you will like.”
I hold my breath, preparing myself for what he might say.
“The reporter is being transported to Veridis tomorrow, and you can have as long as you want with him.”
On any other day, before I met Isla, this would have been spectacular news since this reporter has made our lives a living hell. Now that he’s back in London, with no protection from the London Harbinger or his team of brutes, I know I would’ve loved to pay him a visit.
“I’m busy, Ezra.”
“What? With the Knight girl?” He shakes his head. “Fucking youngsters,” he murmurs with a smile on his face. “He’ll be at the Veridis until Sunday, then I want his remains. I don’t give a fuck what you do from now until then.”
“Don’t you have anything else for me?”
He sighs, his shoulders slumping slightly. “If I did, that would be the first thing I would have told you. I know I promised we’d find her, but as the years pass…”
I nod, knowing I’m asking him to conjure a fucking miracle.
“What did you decide about Judge Gordon?”
His slow smile has not changed from the moment I met him. Calm, calculated, and sleek. “Judge Knight has some secrets of his own, and I don’t think he wants anyone to find out.”
I laugh. “Let me guess, the cliché. Judge Gordon Knight is into underage girls.”
If this is the truth, I’ll slit his throat, stick my hand in the cut, and pull out his trachea with my bare hands.
“Surprisingly, no. We’re still digging, but for now, I have found something we can both use for leverage.”
He pauses, his smile growing wider.
“Well? Don’t leave me in suspense. You know I fucking hate it.”
“He was meeting with Tony.”
For once, I’m shocked.
“Tony Albani?”
“That night you were there, he was too.”
What the fuck!?
“What could Judge Gordon Knight want from Tony? He was a lowlife scumbag sniffing around your feet for attention.”
“I don’t know yet, but when I find out, I want you to pay him a visit,” he says, pulling out his phone when it chimes.
“Ezra, I’m all for taking lives, but I’ve already done time. I don’t exactly want to go back.”
“Don’t worry, it’ll just be a friendly visit.”
I see. He wants me to scare him a little.
“Well, when you find out more, you have my number.” I turn on my heels, ready to get back to Isla.
Once I’m in my car, I pull out my phone to unlock it.
Tapping the app I’ve saved on my home screen, it opens to show me the multiple cameras I have placed in her home.
One on top of the fireplace mantle across from her king-size bed, another in the sitting area downstairs that has a view of her open plan space, one in her bathroom upstairs, and the last one by her front door.
I check them all, and when I see her, my mouth opens.
“Fuck.”
I watch as she touches herself on her bed, resting on the large white pillows. Her breasts are bare as she covers her mouth and nose with one hand, the other fingering herself as she moans.
“Jesus fucking Christ.”
I already know what she’s watching, but because I’m nosey, I grab my second phone from the glovebox and open the hacking app KaTastrophe downloaded for me, with which I can hack into any device as long as the firewalls are mild.
Once I put in my passcode, her screen comes up of a woman bent over a pole, her wrists chained to her ankles.
She’s gagged with what looks like a ball, her skin red and raw as the man thrusts into her ass.
Her frustrated groan gains my attention, and I switch to the image of her on her bed, now typing something else in the search bar. I watch her sift through the videos, but she can’t find one she likes.
I let the video of her continue streaming as I type out a message.
Me
You won’t find what you’re searching for on there, Little Nycto.
Her eyes shoot to the phone beside her laptop, and she reads the message. Eyes wide, she looks around her room, searching for the camera. When she picks up her phone, I know I’m in for it.
Isla
May I remind you, it is illegal to film someone in a private act. You could spend another two years in prison. Stop fucking watching me.
She shuts her laptop and begins her search, starting with the clock on her bedside table.
Me
You’ll never find it.
Her phone lights up in her hand, and she groans. Just to piss her off further, I follow it up with another message.
Me
See you soon, Isla.