Chapter 22
Her soft breaths are warm on my chest as she sleeps.
The kind of sleep that only comes when you trust someone completely.
Her dark hair is splayed over the white sheets, coating it in her scent, one arm draped over me like it’s always belonged there, like I have been a permanent part of her life for years.
I want to believe I belong here. I want it more than I want sleep. More than I want her to believe me when I say she’s enough.
But we all know the truth holds no prisoners.
The ghost I’ve tried to hide for thirteen years, the me I thought I knew, vanished the day I realised the chance of finding her began to dwindle as the years went on.
And yet, I can’t let go. I visit the undying remains in the grave I keep within me too often.
“Malik,” she murmurs in her sleep, and it’s like a prayer she says on repeat, unknowingly calling me to her side and into her heart. Her brows crease in the slightest, and even in her dreams, she fights me and the man who continues to look over his shoulder.
You’re here, Malik.
You choose this.
It’s okay to move on.
But no matter what the voices say, the ghost still lingers, not cruel or rageful but there…like an eternal core memory.
I want to let her go, the ghost. I don’t want her anymore, but a small part of me still belongs to her, like it was frozen in time when I was a boy.
I close my eyes and breathe in Isla’s scent. If I’m supposed to devote my entirety to this ghost in my past, why does it feel so fucking right being here with Isla?
For once, Malik, stop this insanity.
I hear Emmett’s voice, coercing me onto the path that I know is right, but I can’t follow him because the ghost won’t let me. Its hold on me is too strong. It’s like spending all those years preparing and studying for a fight you know is coming, then bailing right before you step into the ring.
She stirs beside me, her fingers softly curling over my chest, and I close my eyes, surrendering myself to the one thing I crave so desperately.
Because only when I’m asleep do the lies I tell myself finally fall silent.
She was already packed and waiting for me to wake up when I realised I’d been asleep for almost nine hours. I glance around the room—two bags lined up neatly at her bedroom door, the clothes put away, the space no longer a mess from the night before.
I sit up, the sheets tangled between my legs. “Where the fuck are you going?”
She doesn’t look at me, her eyes fixed on her hands as she fiddles with her nails.
“Don’t follow me, okay?” When her eyes clash with mine, it’s like I’m looking at a stranger. “I’ll have Jamie arrange a transfer for your case. There are talented barristers at the firm, but I’d recommend Justine.”
“I don’t fucking want Justine.” The edge in my voice is as clear as daylight.
“I’m going to stay with Astrid for a while in Brighton and step back from my job. I think it’s best if we stop all contact.”
“You think I haven’t bugged that apartment too? You think you can go anywhere without me knowing? Isla, I—”
“Don’t you fucking dare say it,” she warns, holding back tears. “It’s clear I won’t ever be the first choice.”
“I am choosing you. I let you in. I let you get so far under my skin and rewrite every whisper she ever left behind.”
She flinches, and I love that she still reacts, that I’m still able to hurt her. She still feels something, and that is all the reason I need.
“This isn’t love, Malik,” she says, struggling to keep her voice steady. “It’s the grief you’ve been holding onto, parading in my skin.”
“You know I won’t let you go, so go, see how far you get.”
She moves toward the door and carries her bags down the stairs with me hot on her tail. My chest almost caves in as she reaches for the doorknob without turning or speaking. Not a single last word or goodbye.
I’m frozen, checked out as I realise I’m letting her slip away.
The second the door closes, every muscle comes alive, and I make my way outside just as she’s starting her car.
My fists pound on her window. “Isla, open the door.”
She ignores me, and for the first time in thirteen years, I’m not haunted by the ghost, but the woman who stayed and still chose to leave.