Chapter 32 Celine
Celine
Sneaking out to see Josh made me giddy. I was a grown-ass woman, and after such a long day, the kids had crashed at a reasonable time.
I sat in the living room, attempting to read a book on my Kindle and failing to comprehend a single word for another thirty minutes to make sure the girls were fully out.
Then I left a note next to Ellie’s bed saying I was going out for a late night run around the farm in case she woke up.
As I tiptoed out into the cold night air, guilt plagued me.
I should not be doing this.
I should be at home, in bed with a face mask on.
But Josh had woken me up. He’d stirred the kind of desire inside me that I’d only read about in books.
As embarrassing as it was, I was horny and letting my hormones control me.
I was also deeply infatuated with the man. Not only was there intense physical attraction, but I constantly longed for his company. Throw in muscle memory and my body’s need for more of the orgasms he had given me, and I was powerless to stop myself.
Every time I closed my eyes to sleep, I saw his face when I was riding him. He looked at me like I was a wild goddess, like he was the luckiest man on earth.
He was waiting on the porch when I walked up to the house.
“Did you leave a note?” he asked before I could greet him.
“I nodded. That’s why I’m in my running clothes.”
Smirking, he stood and grasped my hand. “We better not waste any time, then.”
We were kissing before the door shut behind us.
He lifted me easily and carried me up the stairs as I unbuttoned his shirt. I was desperate to get my hands on his skin. To feel all of him.
He gently set me on my feet inside his room, and I pulled his face down to meet mine. I couldn’t stop kissing him. I needed to feel him everywhere. This feeling, it was like mania.
He snaked a hand up my back and unclasped my bra, then pulled my shirt over my head.
“What do you want?” he asked, cupping my breasts. “Tell me.”
I wanted all the things. In all the ways. All night long. But my brain was too scrambled to even begin to articulate that.
“Do you think that maybe we could…” I winced. I never in my life thought I would ask this questions. “Could we get tested?”
“Of course,” he responded immediately. “I’ll do whatever you need.”
I let out the breath I was holding. “Thanks. I know it’s not sexy, but I was just thinking—”
“Shh. You don’t explain,” he assured me, his mouth on my neck. “I’ll do anything if it means being with you, Matchstick. Safe and prepared is very sexy.”
When he found the spot that made my knees weak and nipped, heat washed over me.
“I’ll do anything to make you feel safe.” He kissed across my collarbones, then dropped to his knees in front of me.
My head bumped the wall behind me as he pushed down my leggings.
I did feel safe. And exhilarated.
He bit my inner thighs, sending a strange mix of pleasure and pain through me. I liked this version of him. A little rougher. A little less gentle with me.
“Josh,” I growled, burying a hand in his hair. “I need you.”
He looked up, a wicked grin spreading across his lips, then spread my legs wide. With his thumb, he circled my clit, priming me, then he pushed one finger inside me.
I gasped. But it wasn’t enough.
“More,” I whimpered.
With lazy movements, he withdrew his finger and licked it clean. “Soaked.” Then he threw my leg over his shoulder and licked me in all the right spots.
I shuddered. Leaning against the wall and closing my eyes. His enthusiasm and excitement only turned me on more.
Even so, there was always that insecurity…
“You don’t need to,” I said weakly.
“Shh,” he said. “Don’t interrupt me when I’m eating.”
Giggling, I tugged harder on his silky hair.
Before long, he was slipping those fingers inside me again, filling me and making me cry out. I was close, so close, and he was expertly breaking down every defense I’d ever put up.
“Fuck,” I cried out as I came, riding his face with abandon, pressing one hand to the wall to keep from falling over.
I should have known I didn’t need to. Because Josh kept me steady with his arms even as his tongue teased out the last of my orgasm. I was still out of breath, my thoughts jumbled when he swept me up into his arms and deposited me on his bed gently.
“Get naked,” I said. Pushing up onto my elbows.
Looking at me, rubbing at the back of his neck, he looked almost shy.
“Come on, Lawrence,” I teased. “Take it off.”
That shy smiled appeared, and then he was dragging his T-shirt over his head, giving me an unobstructed view of his broad chest, his dark chest hair, and the sheer width of his shoulders.
He wasn’t cut like an athlete, but he was thick and strong from hard work. And every inch of him was irresistible.
“Pants,” I commanded, spreading my legs wide.
Eyes glassy and locked on my core, he pushed down his pants and underwear. When he stood straight again, his cock unabashedly alert, I licked my lips.
With a sigh, he stroked himself.
“Oh my God,” I breathed, nearly fainting. “That’s hot. Do it again.”
He lowered his focus to the floor between us, looking self-conscious.
“Please,” I begged, dragging my fingers down my chest and stomach, stopping at my hipbone.
That did it. His eyes were locked on mine again a heartbeat later as he stroked himself.
“You like this?”
I nodded, heat flooding me.
“Good. Now imagine me doing this every single morning while I think about you,” he gritted out. “All night I dream about you, Celine. And then I wake up rock hard and shaking.”
Moaning, I slid my hand lower and brushed my clit.
“Then I get in the shower and fuck my hand, wishing it was you.”
“Condom,” I gasped, slipping a finger inside myself.
He moved quickly, pulling me onto my knees on the bed. “Do you want to be on top?” he asked.
“No,” I said, easing onto the mattress again, arching my back.
“Are you sure?”
My chest ached at his care. He never pushed me out of my comfort zone. He listened and asked questions, always cautious of my feelings. But I wanted this man on top of me. I wanted to feel his full power as he thrust inside me.
“Please.”
That one word set him loose. Between one breath and the next, he was on me, kissing and licking my neck as he lined himself up.
“Don’t be gentle,” I said, digging my nails into the muscles of his back. “I’m not going to break.”
He’d taken his time. He’d let me call the shots. But tonight I wanted something different. I wanted to feel all of him. I wanted to experience the power in his body and the force of his desire for me.
Kissing me hard, he pushed inside me. “Fuck,” he growled in my ear. “You feel incredible.”
I clutched at him, my body arching to meet his, kissing and biting his neck and moaning as he thrust. I wasn’t scared. I didn’t feel unsafe. This was perfect.
“Harder,” I cried as the headboard beat against the wall.
“Can I go deeper?” he asked, pulling back.
When I nodded urgently, he pushed my knees up, using them as leverage, and thrust harder.
“Is this okay?” he asked.
“Yes,” I moaned, already on the brink of losing control.
My mind went blank. All I could do was relish the sensation as he thrust harder and faster.
“I’ve been dreaming about this,” he growled into my ear, the timbre of his voice making me clench around him. “About fucking you properly. Going so deep and hard.”
It felt like I was flying. Wild and free, bucking my hips up to meet his. My body driven by something even greater than lust.
Safety.
Belonging.
It was so fucking sexy. To be able to fully feel for once instead of overthinking.
“Tell me,” he demanded. “Tell me how good it feels.”
“Perfect.” I gasped. “So full and stretched.”
“I can’t hold on for much longer,” he warned, all his muscles pulled taut. “Can you come for me?”
So close already, I shut my eyes and let the first flutters take over. As the glowing sensation spread through me, my muscles spasmed and my body exploded.
His movements went jerky, and then he was groaning.
“You are incredible,” he said as he collapsed on top of me, his racing heart beating against mine.
“Why does it feel so good?” I wrapped my arms around his torso, my voice slightly muffled by his beard.
“I don’t know,” he said. “But I don’t think I’ll ever recover.”