Chapter Thirteen #2
“I have a question for you.” Laura regarded Marin over her nearly empty beer mug, brown eyes sparkling. “A really important one, so answer wisely.”
“Okay.” Marin felt a flutter inside her rib cage, anticipation or dread, she wasn’t sure, because while she liked Laura as a friend, the more time she spent with her, the more Marin couldn’t help feeling like the romantic element was lacking.
And . . . okay, she was definitely dreading Laura’s question.
“Do you want dessert?” Laura asked dramatically. “And more specifically, do you want to split the brownie sundae with me? Because it’s amazing here, but it’s way too big for one person.”
Marin laughed as the knot of anxiety in her belly loosened. “Yes, I’d like that.”
“Awesome. I think they do a pup cup too.” Laura leaned down to rub Ember where she lay beneath the table, chewing on the Kong toy Marin had brought for her.
“She’s been a very good girl tonight,” Marin agreed. “She deserves a pup cup.”
“Yes, she does. I’ll be right back.” Laura stood, grabbing her purse.
“Oh, but you got dinner too . . .”
Laura held up a hand. “You can pay next time.”
“Okay,” Marin acquiesced. Next time. That should make her happy. Thrilled, even. Laura was fun to spend time with and patient with the puppy. Marin had enjoyed dinner. But when it came to kissing . . .
Marin could only think about kissing Charlotte, which was ridiculous. Anger rose inside her because she was furious with herself for ruining this. She had this wonderful woman here with her. Laura was everything she wanted in a partner, except . . . she wasn’t Charlotte.
Ugh.
Marin had already waited forty-seven years.
She couldn’t waste any more time, sitting home and pining after her straight friend.
She had to find a way forward that would let her keep Charlotte as a friend but also have the passion she craved with someone else.
Maybe that meant pushing ahead with Laura.
She’d enjoyed the kiss on the cheek last weekend, after all.
So Marin smiled eagerly as Laura returned with a large brownie sundae for them to share and the pup cup for Ember. She joked and flirted as she ate. The ice cream was delicious, and Marin’s mood had rebounded by the time they walked outside. Ember whined, tugging Marin toward a nearby snowbank.
“I think she needs to potty. Be right back,” Marin said apologetically before hustling the puppy to the edge of the parking lot to take care of business.
When she returned, she found Laura leaning against the side of Marin’s Outback, a relaxed smile on her face. “I had fun tonight.”
“I did too,” Marin told her.
“Dinner again soon? Or maybe more adventuring? Maybe both? I don’t know about you, but I’m having a really good time.” Laura stepped forward, taking Marin’s hand in hers.
Marin’s body went warm, and her stomach tingled. See? She could feel something for Laura as long as she was careful to keep Charlotte out of her head. She shivered involuntarily as images of Charlotte swamped her mind, making Marin’s heart pound for all the wrong reasons.
For fuck’s sake.
She was hopeless. But also . . . hopeful.
She’d lived on hope for so long, and now it was time to act.
She took a small step toward Laura, who gave her an encouraging smile.
Laura rested her hand on Marin’s waist, and that felt so nice, so different from how Andrew’s hand had felt there.
Marin leaned forward so their bodies were right up against each other.
This is it.
She was about to have her first kiss with a woman.
Her heart was beating out of control, her pulse thudding frantically in her ears.
She didn’t realize she’d closed her eyes until she felt the gentle press of Laura’s lips on hers.
Marin’s eyes popped open as she took a step back, stumbling over Ember’s leash. Wait . . .
Her body flooded with a combination of adrenaline and embarrassment, because she’d stepped backward before Laura could do more than brush her lips against Marin’s. Technically, they’d kissed, and it hadn’t been bad.
Hadn’t been bad?
That was the best thing Marin could say about her first sapphic kiss? She’d been fighting so damn hard to keep Charlotte’s face out of her mind, she’d barely registered anything about Laura’s kiss at all. Fuck.
“That was nice,” Laura said, but she looked vaguely confused, as if she’d realized Marin hadn’t enjoyed it as much as she should have.
“It was.” Marin forced a smile. “I’ll text you?” She scooped Ember into her arms, vaguely aware she was using the puppy as a barrier between them.
“Definitely do. Good night, Marin . . . and Ember.” Laura ruffled the puppy’s head, then leaned in to press another quick kiss to Marin’s cheek before getting into her car.
Marin’s head was swimming, and her emotions were in chaos.
She unlocked her own car and tucked Ember into her crate on the back seat.
As she started the drive home, tears gathered in her eyes because the more she thought about it, the more she wondered if she was leading Laura on.
Laura seemed genuinely interested in her, while Marin was so hung up on Charlotte, she couldn’t even think straight.
Back at her apartment, Marin changed into her hoodie and flannel pants, still fighting tears. What was she going to do? How long would it take to get over Charlotte? Marin was finally dating, and she couldn’t even enjoy it because she’d fallen for the wrong woman.
A tear broke free as she sat on the couch. Ember leaped onto her lap and licked it from her face. “I’m so glad I have you,” she whispered to the puppy. Sometimes lately, it felt like Ember was the only thing in her life that made any sense.
Her phone pinged with an incoming text, and Marin tensed, unsure if she wanted it to be from Laura or Charlotte. She probably shouldn’t talk to either of them right now, not while she was this upset. She reached for her phone with a sigh.
Charlotte Danton: How was your date? Hope it was Great & need all the details!!
Marin had no idea how to respond. The date itself had gone well.
The kiss? Well, the more Marin thought about it, the more that kiss slammed home the reality that she didn’t have chemistry with Laura.
She felt more attraction for Charlotte than she did for the woman she was dating. Which meant . . . what?
More tears fell as she stared at Charlotte’s text.
Charlotte was such a good friend. She’d consistently been so supportive of Marin’s dating endeavors, and it really meant the world.
Marin dug deep for the right words to reply with, because she needed to sound enthusiastic enough to keep Charlotte from asking questions Marin had no answers for.
Me: Really nice! Even Ember had fun.
Charlotte Danton: Squeeeeeeee!!!
Charlotte Danton: Was there more kissing?!?!
Me: Yes
Charlotte Danton: OMG
Charlotte Danton: I want to know everything!
Me: Yes but not tonight. I’m exhausted.
Charlotte Danton: Hang out soon?
Charlotte Danton: I’ve got showings all day tmrw & most of Sat too unfortunately
Me: I’m driving out to see Jed on Sat anyway
Charlotte Danton: Oh right! Maybe Sat evening after you get back?
Me: That should work
Charlotte Danton: Ok putting it on my calendar
Charlotte Danton: I’ll bring wine, make it a girls’ night
Me: Sounds perfect
That was the truth, unfortunately. She enjoyed every moment spent with Charlotte so much more than she enjoyed her time with Laura or anyone else. Marin would wait to officially make the decision when her emotions weren’t so raw, but deep down she knew the truth.
She would have to end things with Laura.