Chapter Eighteen #2
As she moved, Charlotte’s thigh bumped the juncture of Marin’s, and Marin groaned, grasping at Charlotte’s hips to bring her back there. Charlotte shifted her weight, this time intentionally pressing her thigh into Marin, giving her pressure where she needed it.
“Oh,” Marin whispered in awe, pressing her hips more firmly against Charlotte’s thigh. Her eyes were bright, her cheeks flushed, and as Charlotte watched, she rocked her hips just the tiniest bit. “Oh, that’s . . .”
“Good?” Charlotte had had no idea how arousing it would be to watch Marin. The ache in her core was almost unbearable. Truly, she’d had no idea she could be this aroused from a little bit of making out. They’d barely even touched each other yet.
“‘Good’ isn’t a strong enough word.” Marin was panting for breath. She hooked her fingers through the belt loops of Charlotte’s jeans and dragged Charlotte even closer.
They fumbled against each other, both of them groping and grasping, frantically moving their hips in a clumsy attempt to find friction. Marin’s nose bumped Charlotte’s chin, drawing a startled laugh from them both.
“Remember that Sarah McLachlan album Fumbling Towards Ecstasy?” Marin’s eyes sparkled as she brought a hand against the bare skin on Charlotte’s lower back.
“Feels pretty accurate right now,” Charlotte agreed.
“Yes.” Marin spread her knees, inviting Charlotte to step between them.
Charlotte moved in, and Marin closed her thighs around Charlotte’s hips. Then they were kissing again, Marin’s hand on Charlotte’s back, holding her close while Charlotte slipped her fingertips into the back pockets of Marin’s jeans.
Nothing about this felt familiar, but everything about it felt good.
Great, even. Everywhere their bodies touched reminded Charlotte that she was kissing a woman.
Even Marin’s lips felt different from a man’s.
Her cheeks were so smooth, and while there was a tiny part of Charlotte’s brain that wanted to overthink this, wanted to freak out about what it meant, she was doing her best to live in the moment.
So what if she wasn’t straight? So what if she was falling for her best friend? How could that be anything but wonderful? Charlotte would think through the ramifications later. Right now, she just wanted to enjoy every moment of this incredible kiss.
She savored the feel of Marin’s tongue as it touched hers, Marin’s fingers on her skin, Marin’s heat where her hips met Charlotte’s.
Charlotte pressed closer, and Marin rocked into her, making a little whimper that might have been the sexiest thing Charlotte had ever heard.
Her clit throbbed as Marin’s movements pressed the seam of her jeans against it.
Charlotte couldn’t get any real traction in this position, but it was enough to get her pretty damn worked up. They moved against each other with increasing desperation.
Emboldened, Charlotte brought a hand between their bodies.
She slid her fingers over the front of Marin’s jeans, cupping her over the denim, and fuck she could feel the dampness of Marin’s arousal through her clothes.
Marin’s hips jerked, and her breath hitched.
She looked at Charlotte out of lust-glazed eyes, her pupils completely blown.
Charlotte had no idea what she was doing except that she loved every moment. “Mare?”
Marin slow-blinked. Her lips were swollen and glistening from Charlotte’s kisses. “Mm?”
“I love kissing you. I don’t know anything else about, well, anything, but I know that.”
“Same.” Marin’s voice was deep and raspy. One corner of her lips quirked in a smile. “Safe to say this means you’re not straight?”
“Yes,” she confirmed, but insecurity had begun to seep through the haze of arousal now that they were talking. “Although I don’t . . . I don’t know what it means for me, label-wise.”
“That’s fine. No rush.” Marin cupped Charlotte’s cheek. “I’m just . . . really happy.”
“Is that all you are?” Charlotte teased, even as her heart clenched at the adoring look on Marin’s face.
Marin let out a breathless chuckle. “No. I’m so fucking turned on, I’m about to lose my mind, but also . . . really damn happy.”
“Did you want to kiss me?” Charlotte asked hesitantly. This was what she’d wanted to know when she knocked on Marin’s door, what she’d been dying to know since that first kiss. “Had you thought about it before I kissed you? Were you attracted to me?”
Marin looked away, drawing a deep breath.
They were still pressed against each other, bodies melded together from chest to thigh, so Charlotte felt the tension seep into Marin now.
“Yes,” Marin admitted quietly. “I was attracted to you. It’s probably why things didn’t work out with Laura, because how could I even look at her when I was absolutely obsessed with you? ”
Charlotte gulped. “Oh.”
“And you? Had you thought about it before you kissed me?” Marin’s gaze was steady and intense, leaving Charlotte nowhere to hide.
“Yeah.” Charlotte swallowed again, her throat dry.
“I knew I was attracted to you, but I only realized it for sure a week or so before I kissed you. Before that, I was in denial, even though I was absolutely obsessed with you, because I had never considered that I might not be straight, you know? I’ve been in love with a man.
You told me how long you’d waited to feel passion, and that’s not how it is for me. I’ve felt passion . . . with men.”
Marin cocked an eyebrow. “There’s a word for that, you know?”
“Bisexual, I know.” She exhaled. “Or maybe pan. Maybe I’m attracted to the person, not their gender. I just . . .”
“You aren’t ready, and that’s fine,” Marin told her. “But it does mean we should probably stop for now. We need to slow down and make sure we’re on the same page.”
Charlotte huffed. “I feel like a tease. I don’t want to make you wait any longer.”
Marin pressed a gentle kiss to Charlotte’s cheek and then slid sideways away from the press of Charlotte’s body. Charlotte missed the contact immediately. “I can wait, and honestly, we have a lot to talk about before we go any further . . . if we go any further.”
“I want to. I do, but you’re right.” Charlotte looked down at her hands. “I’m not ready. I haven’t thought any of this through. I don’t know what I’m doing.”
“That’s fine. No pressure, but . . . shit.” Marin’s tone changed on that last word, rising in pitch.
Charlotte stiffened. “What?”
“Ember.” Marin ran a hand through her hair. “I totally . . . I wasn’t paying attention.”
Charlotte spun, spotting the puddle by the back door and the shamefaced puppy sitting beside it. “Oh, Ember. We totally ignored you, didn’t we? I’m sorry. Here, let me take you out—then we’ll clean up your accident.”
She hurried to the door, grateful for the distraction but also eager to help because she was fond of the puppy as well as her human.
Charlotte opened the door and ushered Ember into the darkened backyard.
Since she didn’t have on shoes or a coat, Charlotte watched from the doorway as the puppy scampered across the snow.
Ember took care of business, then ran back toward Charlotte.
Charlotte let her inside and closed the door. Marin had just finished cleaning the floor. She stood, not quite managing to hide her grimace as she straightened.
“Nerve pain?” Charlotte asked. “Here, let me help.”
She rushed forward, but Marin waved her off. “It’s mostly just general soreness from moving today. My body feels like I’m eighty sometimes.” She rolled her eyes playfully, but there was something vulnerable in her expression.
“I imagine your body aches like it survived a near-fatal ordeal two years ago,” Charlotte said. “I was there. I saw . . .” But she didn’t want to remember how Marin had looked, crumpled and broken in the street, right now. “Anyway, I’m sorry you’re in pain. I wish I’d been here to help you move.”
“The college kids upstairs loaded boxes for me,” Marin said.
“I’m glad you had help.” Charlotte took the dirty paper towels from her and brought them to the kitchen, where she found a trash can. She was washing her hands when Marin joined her at the sink to do the same. Charlotte blanched as a new thought occurred to her. “I didn’t hurt you just now, did I?”
“No, you didn’t.” Marin pressed a firm kiss to Charlotte’s lips. “I wasn’t feeling any pain while we were kissing, trust me.”
Charlotte grinned against her lips. “Good.”
“Very good.” Marin kissed her again. “While we were ignoring my puppy, we also forgot about the lasagna. Want to stay for dinner, maybe talk some more? I’d love to know more about how you’re feeling. I’ve been where you are, figuring out your sexuality, you know?”
“I’d like that. And maybe after dinner, I can help relieve your pain.”
Marin lifted a brow. “I thought we were slowing things down?”
“We are.” Charlotte rested a hand on Marin’s thigh, then winked. “For the record, I was talking about a massage.”