4. Master of Control
4 MASTER OF CONTROL
Lanie
God , I’d missed my brother. Sure, we spoke on the phone a couple times a year, but it wasn’t the same as seeing him face-to-face. Losing Leland had been equivalent to cutting off my left hand.
He hadn’t changed much physically in the years since I’d left. Where I took after Mom in the looks and height department, Lee was all Dad. His shoulder-length dark-blond hair and moss-green eyes turned heads wherever he went. I’m sure they still did.
I rolled my eyes, standing from the couch. “Can we dispense with the nickname, please? It’s not exactly accurate.”
“Never.” He closed the distance between us in two long steps, dragging me into his arms. “You’ll always be Little Bit to me, little sister.”
“Only by four minutes.”
“This is your brother?” Noah questioned.
“Twin, actually,” Leland boasted, then grunted when I smacked his chest and backed out of his hold. “Now who the hell are you?”
No one on my team, except Waverly, knew my brother and I were fraternal twins. It hadn’t been intentional, keeping that part a secret from the people who’d become my family, but no one would’ve understood the magnitude of losing Leland. It had been like losing my arm.
Now though, seeing the wounded expression plastered across Noah’s face, I knew how wrong it had been. He was my rock, one of my closest friends well before any ideas of romantic overtures came to fruition, yet I hadn’t trusted him enough to tell him the truth.
“Leland, this is Special Agent Noah Anderson. My?—”
“Her man,” Noah cut in, curling an arm around my waist in the world’s oldest possessive move.
Lord, save me from drowning in the overflowing testosterone river.
Lee smirked. “Then why did she have to come here to feel safe?”
“ She”–– I pointed to myself––“can answer for herself.”
“Enough bickering,” Dad interjected. “I think it’s high time you told us what’s going on.”
So we did. By the time we finished explaining my undercover operation into Brandon Little’s drug running and his connection with the Russian Bratva, Mom appeared to be three seconds away from crying, whereas Dad and Leland were fuming.
“Brandon Little? You mean the dumbass kid who used to follow you and Beth around like a lost puppy?”
“Yeah, Lee. That’s him.”
“What do you need from us?” Dad asked.
Noah interlaced our fingers. “A place to stay while our team eliminates the threat to Lanie.”
“You’ve got it, for as long as you need it. ”
A short time later, my dad and brother announced they were taking Noah on a “tour” of the grounds. He’d looked incredibly uncomfortable when they led him out the front door, like he was being taken to the gallows rather than being shown around a forty-acre property. I couldn’t blame him though. Knowing Dad and Lee, they were doing whatever they could to scare him off. In their minds, if Noah bolted, he wasn’t worth my time anyway,
“He’s not like the boys you dated in high school.”
“Not even close, Mom. He’s so much more.”
Noah Anderson had more layers than tiramisu and was just as complex. At work, he portrayed the unflappable agent who—until recently—didn’t allow emotions to cloud his judgment. He was shrewd, pragmatic, and wielded his big brain like a weapon. But it was the moments when it was just our team and his shields lowered ever-so-slightly, where I’d catch a glimpse of the man behind the facade.
A ferocious defender with a heart of solid gold. The kind of loyal friend who’d grab the shovel first then ask about the body in the trunk later, though I wasn’t keen on testing out that particular theory. He was the man you wanted in your corner when all the odds were stacked against you.
That was the Noah I fell ass over teakettle for.
“So what are you going to do about it?”
Her question was one I’d asked myself thousands of times, and I kept coming up with the same answer.
“I don’t have the first damn clue.”
The two of us worked seamlessly together the rest of the afternoon preparing dinner. It was just like old times; chopping veggies, reminiscing and gossiping about all I’d missed. With every laugh and stray tear, the hole that pierced my heart the day I walked away from my family began to cinch closed. It would be a while before the hurt completely disappeared, but now there was hope where before there had only been despair.
The biggest shock came from learning my brother was not only dating someone, he was engaged. Apparently, Lee left out the more intimate details of his life during our phone calls. Not that I could blame him since I’d pretty much done the same.
When four o’clock rolled around, I excused myself, stepped out on the porch, and powered up the burner phone.
“I was beginning to worry,” Waverly answered, her greeting terse.
“It’s four oh two, for Christ’s sake. No need to call out the National Guard just yet.”
“Two minutes can mean the difference between you breathing or not. Be more punctual.”
“Yes, ma’am,” I muttered, thoroughly chastised. “Have you had any luck with my intruder?”
Normally, a breaking and entering fell under the local police department’s jurisdiction, however, given the circumstances, Waverly not only requested, she insisted on the FBI’s involvement.
“He’s still claiming he was there to steal your valuables, not your life. Good news is we finally have a name and some background. Gregori Yerchenckoff, twenty-three years old. Born in San Diego to Russian immigrants. Moved to Vegas at eighteen, where he works security at several of the casinos.”
I lowered myself onto the top step, scanning the horizon for signs of Noah. They’d only been gone a short while, yet I felt the loss of his nearness deep inside.
“Let me guess. Russian owned casinos? ”
“You got it in one.”
“It’s more than we had. I’m surprised his lawyer’s letting him open his mouth for anything other than taking in oxygen.”
“He’s not. You can thank Nelson for anything we have. He’s like a dog with a bone.”
“It doesn’t sit well with me, Waverly,” I complained. “I hate not doing anything while the rest of you are busting your asses.”
“Yeah, well, you being six feet under wouldn’t sit well with me, so suck it up, buttercup.”
I snickered. “Point made.”
“Hear me, Lanie. This will all be over soon. Trust me…trust us to handle this for you.”
We hung up a few minutes later, once I promised not to be late with my call tomorrow. Rather than heading back inside, I stayed on the steps, enjoying a rare moment alone. With a snow-capped Pike’s Peak providing the perfect backdrop, I drew in my first full, unencumbered breath in a week. We were safe.
Ever since the DEA dropped their little bomb, my mind had been twisting faster than a Midwest tornado tearing across an open field. There wasn’t time to fully process anything before Noah and I took off, but the what-ifs surrounding it all had been plaguing me our whole trip.
What if the DEA had waited one more day to tell us about the threat?
What if I’d gone home alone after the wedding? Or worse. What if Hadley had been with me instead of Noah?
What if?…What if?
As if that wasn’t bad enough, I kept thinking about Brandon. Was I somehow responsible for his death? Quite possibly. And the knowledge of that, along with a hefty dose of remorse, had me rethinking a whole slew of choices I’d made. God, the guilt was suffocating.
My thoughts were spiraling out of control and I didn’t know how to stop them. Or even if I should.
“Whatcha thinking about so hard?”
Noah crouched in front of me, his fingers brushing a lock of hair behind my ear.
“Where are Dad and Leland?”
“Darlin’, you were so lost in thought, they slipped right past you.”
“Darlin’?”
“Just go with it.” He shrugged. “Now answer my question.”
“Nothing worth mentioning.”
Rising to his feet, he turned then lowered himself to the step beside me. He angled his body toward mine and picked up my hand, holding it securely between both of his.
“Try again.”
How could I possibly explain it to him when I didn’t understand myself? We took an oath of office to defend the country against all enemies when we graduated from Quantico. I’d done my job and I’d done it well. So why was Brandon Little’s death sitting in my gut like a giant boulder?
“You’re taking on blame for something that isn’t yours to shoulder, Lanie.”
“How do you know?”
“I recognize the signs.”
“Tell me yours and I’ll tell you mine,” I whispered.
Noah
Airing my perceived failures to the woman I was half in love with wasn’t exactly what I had in mind. Who the hell was I kidding? There was no half when it came to Lanie. I was well and truly sunk; had been for as long as I could remember.
“My sister was the kind of girl who was friends with everyone in high school. She got good grades and had no problem lending a hand to anyone who struggled.” I closed my eyes, picturing the smiles she used to give so freely. They were so unlike the ones she forced out now so people would stop asking if she was okay. “Matt’s family moved to town at the beginning of their freshman year. The guy was a gifted quarterback, so after the team won their third game in a row, his popularity soared. He went from the new kid in town to the town’s golden boy overnight. The whole school vied for his attention, but he’d set his sights on Juliette.”
“You would’ve been in what? Fifth grade?”
“Yeah. He fooled me too. I should’ve recognized the monster he kept hidden inside.”
“How could you have known?”
Needing a bit of breathing room to get through the next part of the story, I let go of her hand and stood. The words tumbled from my mouth with ease; my suspicions, the bruises I saw, I told her everything. She let me get it all out before she joined me, resting her small hand low on my spine.
“When they came back to town from college, the red flags were all there,” I began. “It was in the way he watched her, like she was a possession rather than a treasure to be cherished. I thought it was because he loved her so much, but I was wrong.”
“You were a kid, Noah, not a highly trained FBI agent. Hell, you didn’t even know what a red flag was back then.”
“Maybe not. Still doesn’t ease the burden of blame we all felt when the cops found her on the bedroom floor. ”
“It’s not your fault.”
Clenching my jaw, I gritted out, “Do you know where I was while she was getting the ever-loving shit beat out of her?”
Lanie inched her way to my front, her hazel eyes glistening with emotion as she wrapped her arms around my waist. I did the same, drawing us closer together. “It doesn’t matter, Noah. You. Weren’t. There.” She punctuated each word with a gentle squeeze.
“I was drunk at a frat party, losing my virginity to some chick I didn’t even know.”
“Okay, first of all…damn. You saved yourself ’til college?” Her lips twitched right before she rewarded me with a brilliant smile. “You really are a master of control. Secondly, and you need to listen up because if I have to say it again, you’ll be shoveling out the pig pens for the next week.”
I shuddered at the thought, making Lanie chuckle briefly before she sobered.
“What happened to your sister was tragic, but there is only one person to blame. Matt. He’s the one who raised his fists in anger. Not you.”
With only a few words and her unwavering support, she managed to drain the remaining tension from my body.
“I’ll always feel a certain amount of guilt over not being there to save Juliette.”
“Of course you will. It’s what makes you a good brother.”
“Master of control, huh?” I smirked. “I guess we’ll find out later.”
“Seriously?” Wiggling her body, she tried to break free of my hold, but I tightened my grip. A perturbed Lanie was a sexy sight to behold, and I’d ruffled her feathers exactly the way I’d hoped. “In everything I said, that’s what you heard?”
Leaning close, I spoke directly in her ear, “Darlin’, I heard it all, but hearing you call me master got my dick hard.”
To prove my point, I lowered a hand to her ass and yanked her against me, letting her feel exactly how much her words had affected a certain part of my anatomy.
She gasped and I took advantage, slamming my mouth to hers. This kiss meant more than any other we’d shared. It wasn’t sweet and slow, it was frantic. Teeth clashed and tongues tangled. It was a claiming on both our parts. She was mine, without a doubt, but as we stood outside of her parents’ house in Bumfuck, Colorado…she finally made me hers.
“Thank you,” I breathed against her lips as we came up for air.
“For what?”
“Being you.”
“I don’t know any other way to be.”
“Had we known you were coming, we would’ve asked them to make other arrangements, Alaina.” Iris shook her head, then dunked a plate in the sink filled with soapy water.
The four of us had just finished dinner—Leland having left to eat elsewhere—when there was a knock on the front door. Apparently, two of Iris and Percy’s friends from a similar community a few towns over were here for a short visit. While her father showed their guests to the room upstairs, Lanie commenced arguing with her mother over she and I staying in another home somewhere out back. Honestly, I didn’t see what the big deal was.
“Can’t they stay there?”
Lanie took the last plate from her mother, rinsing the round dish before placing it in the drying rack alongside the others. She then joined me where I had remained seated at the kitchen table, at Iris’s insistence.
“They could, but they’re not going to.”
“I don’t mean to interrupt, but do they share the same beliefs in optional clothing?” The question earned me an eye roll from Lanie and a chuckle from Iris, but I was very much interested in the answer.
“Yes, they do.”
Spinning sideways in the chair, I faced Lanie, praying to God she read the plea I tried to convey with my wide eyes. When that didn’t seem to work, I mumbled quietly so only she could hear me. “Can we please keep all the naked people under one roof?”
After a head shake and a second roll of her gorgeous hazel eyes, she acquiesced.
“Fine. We’ll take the yurt.”
Wait. What?
“Yurt?” I blurted. “What the hell is a yurt?”
“Think of it like camping, except with indoor plumbing. Sort of.” She patted me on the cheek, then burst out laughing.
I’d never been camping a day in my life. Yes, I technically owned a cabin in the woods. Mainly because of the privacy it afforded me. Also, I’d spent an ungodly amount of money and muscle updating the hell out of it. I was never going to be the kind of man who suddenly had the urge to become one with nature. Bugs and the great outdoors were not my idea of a good time .
Thankfully, my dad had been of the same mindset. We both enjoyed modern technology too much to even consider the alternative. Hell, he hadn’t even taken me fishing as a boy.
It was as Lanie led me by the hand around the back of the house, using only the waning light from the setting sun to guide the way, I knew I was in trouble. When she stopped in front of what I could only describe as a fancy, oversized circular tent…trouble changed to fucked. And not in a good way.